Citizen AU (where heroes live lives as normal citizens)
Zib: Martial arts trainer

Zib: *tackled a (grown up) student to the ground and hovered over him*

Student: *stares up at Zib before he blushed a bit*

Zib: *gets off of him* Don't let yourself get distracted or lay there doing nothing. If you do get into a real fight, fight back, pry your opponent off you, tackle them in a way that they end up being on the ground.

*****

Purge: Hey XPlode, I've always wondered...

XPlode: What?

Purge: Is the X a part of your name or does it stand for something? I doubt your parents named you XPlode.

XPlode: ... Believe it or not, Plode is actually my last name.

Purge: And the X?

XPlode: My name used to be Xavier.

*****

Zib: *lying in the floor*

Breez: ... You okay mom?

Zib: ... I'm confused off my sexuality.

Breez: Uh... Need someone to talk to?

Zib: I'm trying to figure it out by myself for now. If I can't handle it no more, then I'll seek help.

*****

Teacher and Student AU
Math be like:

Zib: Two plus two equals?

Stormer: Easy, four.

Zib: Two plus thirteen plus six?

Stormer: Twenty-one.

Zib: Micheal has eight apples.

Stormer: Alright...

Zib: His train is seven minutes late.

Stormer: Mhm.

Zib: Calculate the mass of the sun.

Stormer: ... Wait a damn minute-

*****

Reasons why Purge is basically a cat

1) He hates water

Purge: ... Nebula, I swear to god if you pull the trigger-

Nebula: *sprays water at him with a spray bottle*

Purge: *hisses*

2) He acts like a startled cat

Purge: *sitting on the floor*

Shadow Villain: *pokes it's head out of his shadow* Mom-

Purge: *leaps up and ends up standing two metres away from his previous spot*

3) Cats get scared by cucumbers. Purge hates cucumbers.

Nebula: Bro you gotta eat it!

Purge: No!

Nebula: You need to eat your vegetables!

Purge: *Sticks his tongue out at him*

4) He has the habit of running against glass doors

Purge: *running away from his brother*

Nebula: QUIT RUNNING AWAY YOU'RE SICK!

Purge: I AM PERFECTLY FINE- *runs against the balcony door*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHi9fNHyIQs

Far into the Future AU

Villain: Whoever moves one inch is dead!

Surge walks up to the villain and gets immediately shot in the head. He stumbles and stops. The villain waited for him to fall over, only to get lifted up from his feet as Surge, with his hand sticked out, glares at him with a smile while the blood trickled down his face.

*****

Mafia AU
Meeting

Mafia leader: It's an honour to meet the Boss of the Alpha Mafia. I've heard your team is the most successful with the assassinations and robberies.

Zib: I don't see a difference between you and me, we're both Mafia Bosses. I just happen to be the leader of the Alpha Mafia, that's all, Ishioka.

Ishioka: Ah, I like your mindset, Zib. Now, before we talk about having our teams join eachother, may I ask your consigliere to leave for a moment?

Zib: Is it so important that only the two of us should know?

Ishioka: Not ALL but some details.

Zib thought for a moment before he turned to Quadle.

Zib: Quad' would you kindly wait outside? I'll call you when needed.

Quadle left the room with a bow and left.

Quadle: *closes the door behind him; to himself* I don't trust this Ishioka man... Something seems off but I can't put my finger on it.

Shortly, a heavy thud and a shattering sound is heard. Quadle quickly rushed back in. The cups on the coffee table where knocked over, spilling tea. One shattered on the ground. Zib had knocked the other Mafia Boss to the ground.

Zib: *hovering over him* When I said we could work together, I had no intention of getting closer to you like you did. I have absolutely no interest in you, like you do in me. And I certainly do not want you to take advantage of me and my Mafia and claim things as yours. *steps away* Have a good day Ishioka, the deal is canceled.

Zib walked up to Quadle who stood by the door and gestured him to follow him out.

*****

The past Makuro family in a nutshell.

Mother: In the name of the father, son and holy ghost.

Akiyama Makuro: *forgets the next part* Head shoulders knees and toes.

His brother: Turn up your nose, strike that pose.

Father: Heeeeyyy Macarena.

*****

Woman: *interviewing Stormer* What's your type?

Stormer: I have a girlfriend.

Woman: So what's your type then?

Stormer: My girlfriend.

Woman: What does she look like?

Stormer: She looks like my girlfriend.

Woman: On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate me?

Stormer: Nah I can't rate you.

Woman: You can't rate me?

Stormer: No.

Woman: That's okay. How would you rate your gf?

Stormer: She already broke my scale cause she's so beautiful.

*****

Xavier: *watching the news*

Reporter: And the heroes return to Makuhero City after successfully defeating Core Hunter and destroying the Doom Box.

Xavier: When I grow up, I will also become a hero and save the galaxy from evil bad guys!

Father: Pfft, keep dreaming squirt, you'll never become a hero. You're too weak. You'll always be a disappointment no matter what.

Xavier: Hm...

A few years later

Daniela Capricorn: This is Daniela Capricorn reporting live. There is a mass breakout at the Hero Factory. I repeat. There is a mass breakout at the Hero Factory. Every villain ever captured and contained is escaping.

Mr. Plode was watching the news, when there was a loud knock at his front door. He stood up and was about to make a run for it, when the door got kicked down and one of the villains who broke out stepped in.

???: Remember when you told me I could never become a hero? You were right.

Mr. Plode: N-now now Xavier, I m-may have said that, but that doesn't mean y-you wouldn't be able to make it.

The villain in front of him laughed.

XPlode: Oh but it's too late now! Look at me! I'm one of the most wanted villains in the galaxy!

The man started to step back, looking for a possible weapon to defend himself with, but XPlode already lifted up his spiked club.

XPlode: See you in hell. Father.

*****

Zib and Quadle: *going home late*

Guy: *holds up a gun* Give me all your money!

Quadle: *runs off*

Guy: ... Gee what a bad friend.

The man proceeds to get knocked over by Quadle who headbutted him at full speed.

*****

Psycho Surge AU

Zib: What's your name?

Surge: *sitting on the ground* I'm subject 902.

Zib: ... *Sighs and lowers his notepad; mutters* Knew they would do that...

Zib: *gets down in front of him* Listen, just because they call you that, doesn't that that's your name. Your name is Mark Surge and you know it.

Surge stares at him. He suddenly lunged forward and hugged Zib.

*****

Zib: *comes home after shopping with a shirt that was not his and was too big for him*

Quadle: ... Who's shirt is that and why do you have it?

Zib: ... Uh-

EARLIER

Zib met up with Mak after shopping and got a coffee on the way, which he ended up spilling over himself.

Zib: ... *Sighs* Great...

Megahertz: Hey, my house is right down the street, you can borrow one of my shirts if you don't want to run around with coffee stained clothing.

Zib: *looks up at him* I doubt you have clothes in my size.

Megahertz: We'll find something don't worry.

Later

Megahertz: This one's good!

Zib: ... It's literally too big for me.

Megahertz: But you look cute in it. Besides, that's the smallest one I have.

*****

Surge: *reading on the couch*

Shadow: Mom.

Surge: What's up honey?

Shadow: There's this girl behind you who is from the same species as me.

Surge turns around to look and falls of the couch. A black, female figure stood behind the couch. She was about the size of Stringer and had cyan eyes with small particles floating around her.

Surge: Who are you?! And where did you come from??

Shadow girl: You created me. Also, I don't have a name yet.

Shadow: I want to call her Meghan.

Surge just stares up at the Shadow Figure who's name is now Meghan.

*****

Thunder: Why do we have so many positions just for one hole? Like, what's the use of all of them?

Meltdow: Wha-

Thunder: Why is golf so complicated?

Meltdown: ... *Walks off* NEBULA! I NEED YOUR HOLY WATER! WHEREVER YOU GOT IT FROM!

*****

Ep. 1 Trials of Furno

Zib: *to Surge and Breez* I assure you that Stormer knows exactly what he's doing.

The two rookies didn't reply to that as they watched the screen.

Zib: ... *Whispers to Quadle* Doesn't he Quadle?

Quadle: *just shrugs*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvNLmvwrSTQ

Zib: Ready Stormer?

Stormer: *standing on a platform* Ready when you are.

Zib: With this system, the platform will be charged up with magnetic forces and the armour and equipments are pulled to the hero at great speed.

Zib activated the system. Stormer gets lifted up and thrown to one side of the room along with Zib's mug.

Stormer: ZIB!

Zib: Oh who put this thing in reverse?!

Stormer gets pulled to the other side while Zib tried to fix it. And finally, Stormer gets thrown to the back wall where he stays. And the mug hits him on the head.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgox9q3IuBw

Thresher is at the Hero Factory and was talking to Fortis.
Zib walked over to them.

Thresher: Hey Zib!

Zib then proceeded to slump into Thresher and hugged him.

Thresher: ... *puts a hand on his head* Uh, Zib?

Zib: *tiredly* Warm...

He soon fell asleep in Thresher's arms.

Thresher: *mentally* Act fool act fool act fool act fool act fool act fool act fool act fool-

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INFLSE0r244

This thing in general, but especially 1:26 and onward

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PhB0ZXixUU

Breez: Yo guys, I just realized, we can take our weapons apart and then put them back together however we want!

Furno: Really?

Furno looked at his dual fire shooter and was able to take it apart. But instead of shooting they were meelee weapons now.

Furno: Yo that's neat!

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArQfVhcFyW4

Raven: Am I original?

Lynn: Yeahhhh.

Wolfie: Am I the only one?

Lynn: Yeahhhh.

Furno: Am I the favourite one?

Lynn:

Rocka: Am I the favourite one?

Lynn: Hmmmm no.

Surge: *sighs* Am I the favourite-

Lynn: *starts dancing* EVERYBODY!

*****

Shadow for no reason

Shadow: *picks up a piece of cardboard*

Shadow: *proceeds to bite it*

Wolfie: ... Surge! You're son has been spending too much time with Raven!

*****

Actor AU

Zib: *gets cuffed so he would stop fighting Shadowzone*

Zib: Little do you know I'm into this sh-t.

Surge: *wheezes* That's not in the damn script!

Bot: I especially hate the fact that it's true.

*****

What I think Bulk thought at that moment.

Bulk: *pushes Surge away and sees the girders falling towards him now*

Bulk: Oh damn.

Bulk: *gets buried under the girders*

*****

Bolt: *has his head on the ground as he looks up at Rocka; his snout was swollen*

Rocka: *pulls out the stinger* Apparently, some kind of hornet flew in in the evening and stung Bolt and now his snout is swollen up and I don't know how long it'll last.

*****

Corroder: I think something's wrong with my eyes.

Serena: What's wrong with your eyes?

Corroder: I can't take them off you.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd7seNx1leg

Child AU

Rocka: *sitting on the kitchen counter then proceeds to slide off it even though he's a baby*

Zib: *runs over, drops down and catches him as he skidded across the floor and hit the wall as his ankle gave an ugly crack upon contact*

Zib: *inhales sharply* I may have broken my ankle with this. But at least you're fine.

*****

Nex: *is under the blanket*

Nex: *can't seem to be able to find the end and get out*

Nex: *PANIC*

*****

The pain of baking

Nebula: *opens the oven after it beeped and gets hit with a heatwave straight to the face*

Nebula: *backs off and covers his eyes* F-ck I'm blind!

*****

Teacher/Student AU
Bring anything but a backbag to school

Stormer: *has a suitcase* ... Uh, professor?

Zib: Yeah?

Stormer: With all due respect, I thought teacher's also took part of the challenge for the day?

Zib: Yes, they did.

Furno: *used an empty guitar case for his school stuff* Why do you have your usual shoulder bag then?

Zib: It's not. *Unfolds the bag* It's a folded black hoodie.

*****

Teacher/Student AU
What it's like when Zib first started being a teacher.

Teacher: Why aren't you in class?

Zib: I work here. *Holds up keys* See?

Teacher: My bad, my bad.

Teacher #2: Why aren't you in one of them classrooms?

Zib: I work here.

Teacher #2: Mhm yeah sure you're too young for that-

Zib: Katrina I am a 25 year old man I f-cking work here.

*****

Teacher/Student AU

Stormer was giving a presentation when he suddenly trailed off and stopped.

Zib: *sitting in the back* Stormer, is something wrong?

Stormer dropped his papers and passed out.

Zib: *jumps up, knocking his chair over and proceeds to run forward and trip and face plant onto the floor*

*****

Teacher/Student AU

Nex: *raises hand* Dad- I mean mom- I MEAN-

Nex: *inhales sharply and exhales* May I use the bathroom?

Zib: *snorts* Go ahead son.

The whole class laughs at that.

*****

Teacher/Student AU (again)

Teacher: You can't just treat your students like they're you're children.

Zib: *taking care of Surge after he got into a physical fight* Can't help it man.

*****

(Based on a true event at my school)

Furno: *went out to use the bathroom and came back running in* THE BOY'S BATHROOM IS ON FIRE!

Stormer: What?!

Rocka: WHERE'S OUR TEACHER?!

Like on command Zib poked his head in.

Zib: I don't know why the f-ck the fire alarm ain't off yet but we gotta go!

Just then the alarm went off. Evo and Rocks were the first to be outside followed by the rest.

*****

When you've been teaching the same class for years and then it's time for them to leave school.

Zib: *watching the students leave after the graduation party*

Aria: *walks up to him* Are you okay Nathaniel?

Zib: *shakily* I'm fine Aria. Don't worry 'bout me.

Aria: Hey, I know it's hard to see them leave, since you don't know when you'll ever see them again. But they all graduated. Every single one of them. You can be proud that you've been such a wonderful teacher.

Zib: I know. I know... Excuse me for a moment.

Zib walked off and went to his office and locked himself in. He sat down in his chairs as memories replayed in his head. He took his glasses off and didn't bother holding back anymore. He let the tears run down his face.

Zib: You've been the best class I ever had. *Faintly smiles* I wish you good luck. The future has so much in store for you.

*****

(Y'all know the drill. It's that AU again)
POV: One of your students who graduated years ago gets the same job as you at the same school.

Aria: Hey Nathaniel?

Zib: What's up?

Aria: There's someone who wants to see you. And I'm sure you'd be more than happy to see them.

The person she was talking about stepped in. It was Rocka, all grown up.

Rocka: *smiles* Good morning Professor Zib.

Zib: ... *Slowly gets up and walks over to him* Is that you Rocka?

Rocka: Yup. Guess who got a job to be a teacher here?

Zib: *tears up as he smiles* You've grown so much since I last saw you. *Wipes away the tears and puts a hand out* Welcome to the team. Daniel.

*****

(Okay, we back at the main AU)

Surge: Morning Bulk!

Bulk: *deeper morning voice* Good morning.

Stringer: *simp mode activated*

*****

Breez: Babe, ask me what I would do if we broke up.

Stormer: What would you do?

Breez: I would get back with my ex.

Stormer: ... Really?

Breez: Yeah.

Stormer: I-I mean... It's your decision, I'll respect it no matter what. I guess...

Breez: You would be my ex, dumb dumb!

Stormer: Huh? *Realizes* Ohhhhh!

*****

Wolfie: *accidently pushes the chip bag off the table; sighs* Sometimes I hate that gravity exists.

Nex: *currently defying the laws of physics and floats over her* What gravity?

*****

Child AU

Furno (10): *on the trampoline* Mom! Watch me do a back flip!

Zib: Are you sure honey? It's dangerous!

Furno: Just watch!

Zib: *sighs* Okay!

Furno jumps up and was about to do it, when his feet punctured the trampoline and he fell on the ground. He lays there for a second or two before he starts crying.

Zib: *rushes over* William!!

*****

Stringer: Why is there a goose in here?

Surge: *looks closely* Oh, that's Meghan. She's able to shapeshift into animals.

Nex: Who the f-ck is Meghan?

Surge: ... My daughter.

Breez: Since when did you have a daughter-

Surge: Since today I don't know how it happened!

*****

Ayo where the f-ck do you live??

Black Phantom: *goes home after visiting the mansion; sees the crocodile in the middle of a road* Ayo man you alright? Are you drunk?

The crocodile moves slowly away.

Black Phantom: Are. You. Drunk?

The croc moves away.

Black Phantom: Bon, have a good night.

Croc: *hisses at him*

Phantom: *walks off; turns around* Ayo don't hiss at me.

*****

Bulk: Mom can you like, pull my head to the side?

Zib: ... *Walks off* Hold on let me get a chair for that.

Bulk: *snorts* Okay!

Zib came back and stepped on the chair. He then tilted Bulk's head. An ugly cracking sound was heard. Zib immediately let go.

Zib: What was that?!

Bulk: *wheezes* I only bit a hard candy that was in my mouth!

Zib: ... *hits Bulk on the head with his first* You almost gave me a damn heartattack Duncan Bulk!

*****

He short.

Breez: ... You're short.

Evo, who was sitting on a chair, stood up.
He was still shorter than Breez.

Breez: *wheezes*

*****

Wisdom teeth removal

Evo: How you feeling?

Nex: *just got his wisdom teeth removed* My dog stepped on a bee.

Nex imitates the Amber Heard face expression while the rest just wheezes.

*****

Restocking the Assembly Tower be like

Joe: Heya bud, you need some help?

Worker: *carrying two boxes* Please and thank you, my back is about to break.

Big Joe takes the boxes and carries them away with ease.

*****

Jetbug: Is it possible to die from drinking too much water?

Purge: You can die from water intoxication if you drink 12-16 cups of water within a few hours.

Jetbug: How do you know that?

Purge: Internet.

*****

Furno: You literally would have no problem being blind since you pay so much attention to your surrounding, even with closed eyes, barely anything bad can happen.

Evo: ... Uh, thanks?

A few decades later

Evo: *sitting on a cot with a blood stained bandage over his eyes* Remember when you told me I would have no problems being blind?

Furno: Y-yeah?

Evo: I am in pain, just so you know. And now I have to wait for a damn eye operation.

Furno: Sorry...

*****

Purge: *sitting on a branch over a lake*

Corroder: *above him* Oh hey Purge.

Purge looks up and then falls off the branch into the water below.

Later

Purge: *sitting by the fire with a towel around himself*

Nebula: ... I can't help but think that you look like a grumpy cat now.

Purge: *glares at him*

Nebula: Just saying, don't give me that look!

Purge: *sneezes like a cat*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibBRzMyodC8

POV: you can see how angry a person is

Furno: *walks in with a 38% above his head*

Zib: *has a 0%* What's wrong Furno?

Furno: I failed to cook again.

Zib: Better luck next time, you'll manage it someday.

Furno: *lowers to 20%* Say, how are you so calm?

Zib: *shrugs*

Later

Zib is heading to HQ when he saw Shadowzone doing his usual sh-t again in the distant.

Quadle: *sighs as his anger rises to 44%* That guy never stops... Zib? Zib, are you okay?

The percentage above Zib's head started rise quickly as he clenched his fists.

*****

He sleeps weirdly

Rocka: *wakes up from a nap and sees Shadow sprawled across the floor face down* ... Surge, I think something's wrong with your son!

Surge: *pokes his head in from the kitchen* He always sleeps like that, let him be.

*****

God AU

Surge: *after banishment from the heavens due to a corruption turning him from a god of lightning to the god of darkness, in his darkness form as his wings were still chained up* How is it that you go about defining good and evil?

Zib: *holding the soul of a person he took it away from* I only use what the gods gave me.

*****

Child AU

Zib: *pulls a 19 year old Stormer down so that he's in the frame* This is my baby. And ain't nobody finna touch him.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jve5Scza8yg

Joe: Sooo, do you have crush on anyone?

Bot: *takes a lollipop out of his mouth* Nope, absolutely not.

Joe: Ya sure-?

Bot: Yes.

Zib walks up to them, takes the lollipop out of Bot's hand and puts it in his mouth.

Bot: ... Uh that was in my mouth before.

Zib: I know.

Bot:

Joe: ... I think you might have broken him.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbaJamnUQ80

Anything can be a weapon

Rocka (7): *playing at the playground's sandpit with a shovel while Zib is getting groceries*

Guy: *walks down to him* Hey kiddo, your mother told me to pick you up.

Rocka: But mommy told me to stay here, he'll pick me up himself.

Guy: *mentally* He?? *Aloud* Well, he got into a minor accident and can't come get you himself now, so you'll have to go with me.

Later

When Zib arrived, there were children screaming and police blocking off the area.
He immediately called out to Rocka, who came running to him.

Zib: Daniel, what happened? Why is the police here? *Notices a police woman approach them* Mrs. Smith, what's going on?

Smith: One of the parents found a dead man in one of the bushes of the playground.

Zib: *covers Rocka's ears so that he didn't listen to the conversation* Dead man?

Smith: He was first gagged with what seems to be a shirt of a child and then violently uhm... *Clears throat* Disemboweled.

Zib: *quietly* Disemboweled?!

Smith: Yes. And get this. It was with a toy shovel.

*****

Rocka: *yawns as he leans against Lysander who was now almost twice as big as him*

Lysander: *through the bond* Papa, what's wrong?

Rocka: Nothing, just tired.

Lysander: Why don't you take a nap then?

Rocka: *rubs his eyes* I don't wanna end up sleeping in and miss a Recon Team meeting.

Lysander didn't reply to that, until his put a wing over Rocka and lowered his head in a way so that he could directly look at him.

Lysander: *in a demanding voice* Sleep.

*****

Saw a TikTok with two people in emo style so I thought
wHy Not dO iT oN zIb?

Zib: *walks in with the new style Wolfie gave him*

Stormer: *spits out his coffee* God dayum mom!

Zib: I never agreed to this, just so you know.

Stringer: Nah, it's a good representation of your personality.

Bulk: Also, where your glasses at?

Zib: Wolfie told me to put in contacts.

Totally not me simping for Zib (again) at the end there.