Furno: Bet I can ride my bike over that lake?

Surge: ... Oddly enough, it sounds both possible AND impossible.

Rocka and Evo: Fun fact, it's possible.

Nex: Another fun fact, it works best with a dirt bike since it's rather light and the wheels are designed to get a good grip. And a bunch of Physics stuff like speed, weight and entry.

Zib: *via the communication system* If you sink your bike in the lake I'm not going to buy you a new one.

*****

Child AU
Ft. Baby Rocka

Thresher: C'mon! Say "dadda"!

Zib: *filming nearby*

Rocka:

Thresher: Say dadda!

Rocka: Mama.

Zib: *wheezing off camera*

Thresher:

Quadle: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.

*****

Child AU

Zib: If a stranger came up to you and said "Hey buddy, your mom told me to pick you up", how will you respond?

Surge (9): I will say "F-ck you b*tch".

*****

Clearing the snow off the roof

Purge: *clearing the roof from the snow with Nebula and CH* It's such a nice view from up here.

Nebula in the background: *slips and falls down*

*****

Creepypasta AU
When Zib doesn't get his money

Zib: *dialing a number*

Stormer: *hangs his police hat on the clothing hanger* Who are you calling?

Zib: The last person who hired me to assassinate someone.

Stormer: ... Wasn't that like a month ago?

Zib: Yeah and I didn't get the money that they promised.

???: *Picks up* Hello?

Zib: Good day, I'd like to remind you that you still didn't pay me the money for killing [name] yet.

???: What are you taking about I don't know you.

Zib: No, I'm sure I got the right number. It's been a whole month and I really need it.

???: What could you possibly need it for? Drugs?

Zib: ... For your information I'm strongly against drugs. I also need to pay a bunch of taxes and bills for the house I live in with a total ten other people, nine of them who don't go to work. And because I only get tasked to kill someone once a month, I constantly have to make sure that we don't go broke too soon. So, I'll give you one more week to send me the money, otherwise I'll see myself forced to come get it myself.

*****

Furno: *fastest member of the team especially when on his bike*

Surge: Ima end this man's whole career.

*****

Person: Mission chiefs aren't the leaders of a team, they only protocols missions and they don't know how to fight.

Zib: Hold my tablet.

*****

Bro woke up and chose violence

Wolfie: *reads question from a card* How do you instantly win a street fight-

Zib: With a gun!

Wolfie: NO! ... I mean yes but no!-

*****

Nex: *playing an online game with the team* ... I feel like I'm forgetting something guys.

Evo: How should we know?

Surge: *in the background* I think something is burning.

Nex: *runs out* SH-T MY CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE BURNING.

*****

Aftermath to previous quote

Nex: *goes to the kitchen where the microwave was smoking* Wut rong? Why you burning?

Nex: *Takes chicken nuggets out which are fine* Wut burning? *Sees microwave burning* Roof burning wuda faq.

*****

Zib's Generation Highschool AU

Zib: *in the computer room doing work*

Thresher: *pulls chair away*

Zib: *unfazed and continues*

*****

Stormer: Is there anything today that I ate, that wasn't microwaved?

Bulk: The salad.

Stormer: The salad?

Bulk: Yeah.

Stormer: You f-cking donut of course you don't put a f-cking sa-

*****

Human AU

Zib: Scientists were able to finish map out the human genes and they say that in this cell right here.

Zib: *shows Shadowzone a picture of a cell* We can see what made you into a little bi-

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P_RBkl30bY

Surge: *on his knees with his hands were cuffed behind his back, after he got ambushed on a solo mission by a few of the villains*

Corroder: Look at you, alone and weak. How will you save yourself now?

Surge: *looks up at him and smiles* Who said I was alone?

Surge screamed out two names. Shadow and Meghan rose out of his shadow and towered over most of the villains present.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EScouITIJCE

Minecraft AU

Surge: *fights off some zombies that spawned in a cave*

Bulk: SUUUUURGE!

Surge: Da faq?

Bulk is seen swinging his sword around while trying to fight an Enderman who keeps on teleporting.

*****

Oops

While on a chase after a villain, the team came past a wall they had to climb over. Stormer jumped up and grabbed the ledge, pulling himself up, just for the brick wall to start to slowly tip over.

Stormer: *jumps off and runs* RUN!

Zib watched the whole thing from Furno's head cam. Yelling and screaming is heard and then the camera shook as Furno toppled over from running into Nex.
The mission chief sighed and face palmed.

*****

Highschool AU

Furno: I finally finished that one level last night.

Surge: *holding a to-go coffee* ... Didn't you study for the test?

Furno: The. What.

*****

Evo: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

*****

Purge: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.

Bot: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

*****

Furno: Are we really going to let Surge keep Splitface?

Rocka: We kept Wolfie.

*****

Stringer: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Breez: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Surge: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Nex: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

Surge has left the chat.

*****

Siren: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

Stormer: It doesn't hurt your lungs.

*****

Child AU

Furno (12): Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Bulk (15): They do.

Rocka (6): ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

*****

Past Shadow

Shadow: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Purge: You really are my oldest son. Even if you're an accident.

Shadow: Okay, ouch.

Purge: Dude, all your first hundred siblings or so are all accidents! You just happen to be the first one!

Shadow: Double ouch but true. Can't blame you.

*****

Rocka: *in front of the mansion that had smoke coming out with Furno and Lysander behind him looking guilty while sirens are heard in th fistance*

Rocka: *pinches his nose bridge* I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

*****

Zib: *comes back from work* What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

*****

Purge: *to Waterwhirl's ex team* If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

*****

Waterwhirl: I want to change my name. Suggestions?

Purge: Vortex. Definitely. It has the same meaning but sounds better and isn't a mouthful.

*****

Creepypasta AU

Surge: Fight me!

Zib, standing behind him and holding his twin swords: *mouths* Do not.

*****

Villain Factory AU

Some of the heroes got a call in the middle of the night and went on a mission near a cemetery.

XPlode: I told you we should just dip and let a different team deal with this!

Corroder: C'mon! Nothing happened so far! We'll be fine.

Rotor: No, I have to agree with XPlode here. This is too creepy-

A sudden and loud scream echoed over the area. The heroes jumped and scrambled back to their vehicles.
Meanwhile Furno and Surge were rolling on the ground laughing behind the church.

*****

Furno: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Evo: You're the one who chose to talk to me while I was meditating.

Rocka: I got distracted about halfway through.

Stormer: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

*****

Breez: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-

Breez, to Siren: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.

Virus, to [random]: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.

Zib: *watching while holding a coffee mug* There are two types of people.

*****

Raven: Caw caw, motherf-ckers.

*****

Past AU
Before dating

Stormer: *reading the message Bulk wrote to Ness for him* I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly.

Bulk: Why not?

Stormer: Because I don't know what they mean.

*****

Breez ran in through the front door, dripping with water since it started raining on her way back.

Breez: *shakes off the water* God I'm so wet.

Breez went upstairs to the dry herself off while Stormer hid his face behind a book.

*****

Which one are you?

Furno: *instantly falls asleep*

Zib: *flips around in bed for hours until he falls asleep and then only sleeps for an hour*

Surge: *doesn't sleep at all*

*****

Surge: Hey Rocka, ever tried coffe when your tired?

Rocka: Caffeine doesn't work for me bro.

Wolfie: *drops in* Fun fact, caffeine having no effect is often a sign of ADHD.

*****

(Traumatized!Surge) Child AU
Friendship then

Surge (4): *opens door* Steven! You're right on time! Come on in.

Grant (4): Heya Mark! Thanks for having me over, I brought some snacks!

Years later

Surge (28): *on the couch*

Grant (28): *kicks down the door* I'm here to restore all of the missing friendship years of me going missing and you can't stop me b-tch!

Surge: Kay.

*****

Human AU
When you and you're bestie wear the same outfit.

Surge: *comes out of his room* Sh-t.

Furno: Sh-t.

Both: *wearing the same exact pastel yellow hoodie with cat ears and jeans* Sh-t.

*****

Gotta call mom

Stormer during a solo mission: *noticing that the mission is going wrong; calls Zib* Mooooom!

Furno: *bike breaks down; calls Zib* Moooom?

Nex: *running away from Breez* MOM!

Zib: *in the kitchen* WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME AT THE SAME EXACT TIME?!

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vABpJds6C7I

Surge: *accidently walks through a wall and lands in the backrooms*

Backrooms AU characters: *stare at him*

Surge: *confused* WAIT hold it I just had a F-cking BRUH moment.

*****

Taste testing

Bulk: *sitting on a chair while blindfolded*

Surge: *puts a lemon piece into his mouth*

Bulk: *chews on it*

Bulk: *insert blue error screen sound*

*****

Highschool AU

Surge got involved in a physical fight against one of the school bullies while others watched.
Zib threw himself between the two, just to get hit smack in the face, breaking his nose.
Surge stared in shock as Zib looked at the blood on his hand.

Zib: *wipes away the blood from his face with his sleeve; glares at the bully* Principal's office. Now.

*****

Past Akiyama Makuro

Akiyama: *reading a sign* What gender are you? Uh, male.

His brother: *lowers hand revealing the second part of the sign*

Akiyama: Attracted to? Oh, haha, you prankster! *laughs*

Akiyama: Still male though-

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cx1WaoWQ34

Undertale AU

Rocka: I am the mastermind he's my accomplice!

Surge: You're only still alive because I made a PROMISE.

Siren: *mind* What did I do wrong??

*****

Olivia: Mommy! Daddy says dinner is ready!

Daniela: But... He's been gone for six years now.

*****

Bulk: When I make a bad decision and someone is like 'Oh that's okay, you just weren't thinking!'

Bulk: Oh but I was. I thought long and hard, okay? Used all my brain power, alright? Lined up all my choices and went boop. At the dumbest f-cking one.

*****

Hero: Hey Stormer I... I really like you!

Stormer: No.

Hero: Wha- you don't like me back?

Stormer: Nope.

Stormer pointed at Breez who was standing in the background.

*****

Wolfie: Introduce yourself by the meaning of your name.

Lynn: Hi, I'm the beautiful/noble one. Although the meaning of my name doesn't fit with me if I'm honest.

Breez: I thought Lynn meant waterfall, pond, lake and pool in Celtic and Welsh?

Lynn: "Lynn" is not my real name.

*****

Experiment V1 story in a nutshell

V1: *wakes up* Ugh what- what happened?

Furno: Oh, your dad just disowned you.

V1:

V1: Wait what-

*****

Villain Factory AU

Stormer: Allow me to introduce my sidekicks.

XPlode: ... What sidekick-

Furno: *swings a sword at him* Here's Furno!

XPlode: AH IT'S A GAY!

Stormer:

Furno:

XPlode:

XPlode: The f-ck did I just say???

*****

Purge: Vortex, how old are you?

Vortex: I was created around five years ago, so five.

Purge: *to CH* I told you he's just a baby!

Vortex: I AM NOT A BABY!

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INLp0lK-sU8

Person: You're so obsessed with working and as soon as your angry you become violent! You're just like your mother!

Rocka: *grabs them by the neck and pins them against the wall* Wanna see what he could do?

*****

Surge purposely not believing in Rocka to help him.

Surge: Okay, so far we know that you turn into your lion form when you're mad and into your XL lion form when super angry.

Rocka: Yeah, I guess.

Surge: Okay, two ways. In order to turn INTO a lion, you need to let your anger build up inside of you. And in order NOT to turn into a lion when you're mad, is by suppressing your anger.

Rocka: Surge, I've tried and tried and tried! It's not easy!

Surge: You need to become internally more stronger, otherwise it won't work.

Rocka: ... I'm stronger than you think...

Surge: Are you?.. Are you really stronger than I think?

Rocka didn't respond to that and clenched his fists. One of his hands turned into a claw.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOtIKQAdS_U

Fantasy AU

Zib: You need to leave my room. Now.

Wolfie: Okay fiiiine. But why do you look so worried? And what's with the locked windows, chains and mask?

Zib: No time to answer just go!

Wolfie deadpanned before noticing the full moon and remembered what Surge told her. "Vampires are extremely hostile and bloodthirsty during full moons, just like werewolves but faster, stronger and sneakier."
Wolfie slowly backed up and screamed when Zib tried to lunge at her.

*****

(Human) Future AU

Max: Grandma! Were you a criminal when you were younger?

Zib: What do you mean?

Max held up an old wanted paper. The picture on it showed a guy who looks exactly like Zib, but with black facial markings and paler eyes.

Max: I don't know who this guy is and he looks awfully like you, that's why I asked.

Zib: ... Kid, the person on this picture. Is my biological father.

*****

She's an independent woman

Breez was arguing with some other girl.

Girl: Babe! She's threatening me!

The girl's bf walks up to them.

Breez: *mockingly* BaBe! sHe'S tHrEaTeNiNg Me!

Guy: *towers over her* You don't know how to mind your own business huh, you little b-tch?

Breez: *deadpans and looks at him*

Girl: Aw, are you scared now? Who are you going to call? Your personal bodyguard?

Breez: Oh honey, I don't need a bodyguard.

Breez suddenly dropped down and kicked the guy's legs away, causing him to fall. She out a foot on his chest.

Breez: But your little partner seems like he could use one.

*****

Stormer: Which way did he go?

Nex stood with his back towards the sun and opened his jacket, making his shadow look like an arrow.
Stormer wheezed at that.

*****

Child!Purge is a menace

XPlode, Rotor, Nebula, Purge and Core Hunter are in the kitchen, when the lights went out.

XPlode: Great, power's out again.

Purge: Ah don't worry, I got this.

Purge shook himself and lit up suddenly.
The other villains stared at him.

Purge: I swallowed a flashlight.

CH: WHY WOULD YOU-

Purge: Because I can.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7qxILv-FTo

Corroder got himself injured again and was being treated by Serena in the medical room of the villains.

Serena: Here, I got some pills that should numb the pain for a bit.

Corroder got up to take them, when he froze.

A black haired woman with a white coat walked into the room where Chris was. The little boy was crying in pain, not being able to make it stop. The woman got down in front of him and handed him some pills.

Woman: I don't know why, out of all people, they're not giving you any, but here. I got some pills that should numb the pain for a bit.

*****

Highschool AU

Furno: Hey, can I copy your homework?

Evo: ... What homework?

Stormer: He's talking about the assignment.

Furno: No I'm talking about the homework. We had to do the questions on pages 1-20.

Breez: Huh?! I thought it was pages 1-10!

Furno: One second... You're telling me there was an assignment due to today?

Surge: I think you're confusing assignment with the oral presentation due this period.

Furno: Excuse me what???

Stormer: It's pronounced oral exam by the way.

Bulk: *looks up from his notes* EXAM?!!??

Rocka: So you're telling me I did this book report for nothing.

Stringer: So this has nothing to do with maths?

Nex: An oral math exam? Do you hear yourself?

Zib: Alright, for today, pop quiz! 2 minutes and then we'll get started.

Furno: ... Shocker.

*****

Rocka was reading on the couch when everything around him went black again. A figure in front of him changed it's form to look like Furno.

Furno: "Furno, you forget yourself!" Rocka, you forget where you stand next to me. You are in my shadow. Act like it. Maybe it's not a coincidence that every single one of your plans all failed so far. You are a walking. Second place medal. Rocka.

Rocka snapped back when he noticed someone shaking him by the shoulder. Furno looked at him with a worried expression.

Furno: Dude, are you okay? You looked like you've seen a ghost killing your family or something!

Rocka: Y-yeah... I'm fine.

*****

Zib: I would do anything for my family.

Mr. Makuro: I don't ask for much and it's not difficult either. Go to therapy!

*****

Actor AU

Director: Aaand cut! Alright, y'all have a two hour break before the next takes.

"Surge": *takes wig off* Finally! I wore this thing wrong and it was starting to itch.

"Furno": OH SH-T HE RIPPED HIS HAIR OFF!

"Surge": ... It's a damn wig-

"Furno": HE'S BALD NOW!

"Surge": I'M WEARING A BALD CAP!

*****

Actor AU

The team struggled with a fighting scene between Zib and Shadowzone. They just couldn't get the movements to look realistic.

"Zib": Just hit me.

"Shadowzone": What?

"Zib": Like actually hit me. And hit me hard, we gotta get this scene done somehow.

Shadowzone's actor hesitated, but eventually hit Zib's actor in the side of his head and also knocked him out.

"Stormer": ... Sh-t. MEDIC!

"Nex": Ya-? Oh heck you meant the real medic oh frick.

*****

Furno: I am a responsible adult!

Zib: *raises brow*

Furno: I am an adult.

Stormer: I don't think anyone from this household is a responsible person.

*****

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Surge: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Surge: Oh my god, you have Meghan.

*****

Breez: Raisins. It's nature's candy.

Wolfie: That was one of the most random information I didn't know I needed.

*****

Purge: *takes off glasses*

Purge: Wow...

Nebula: Haha... what?

Purge: You're really fucking blurry.

*****

Surge: *walks into the kitchen with glasses on*

Furno: *spits out water* Whoa whoa whoa! When did you get glasses?!

Surge: Ages ago. I'm wearing them today because I ran out of contacts-

Furno: CONTACTS?!

*****

Highschool AU

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Furno: How do you eat pickles?

Surge: What do you mean?

Furno: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Surge: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Furno: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Surge: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Furno: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Surge: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Furno: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Surge: *Nods in agreement*

Zib: *barricading the classroom door* That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

*****

Raven Su (Science team leader): *showing new members around; holds up a Purple Quaza sample* This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Newbie: That sounds like a dare to me.

Su: Oh my god.

*****

Vortex: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

Purge: *proud mentor*

*****

Heyo everyone! As you most likely figured out, this book is pretty much on a break right now. I'll try to become active again, but I'll probably slack on replying to comments and posting stuff.