Newbie: *outside on the way to the base* Wait, so how does the Villain Base stay hidden?

Purge: Well if I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Moment of silence.

Purge: You see, the Villain Base stays hidden because-

*****

Stormer: *doing some sign language while they're in hiding*

Kibou: *quietly* I. Don't. Know. What. That. Means!

*****

Bot: *on the phone* Uh, could you hang on a second? I just got a phone call from someone named I DON'T GIVE A FLYING-

Fortis: *yanks the phone out of his hand and hangs up* That's greaaaaat! You gotta stop picking up spam calls.

*****

Mafia AU
(Haven't use this in a while)

Assistant: BOSS!

Guy: What?

Assistant: There's a rumour going around that someone wants to assassinate you.

Guy: Hah! As if. Who would want to go after my status?

The boss suddenly collapsed and his assistant caught him, but immediately dropped him again when he saw blood run down his forehead.

Assistant: *about to throw up*

Surge: *outside* Told ya I never miss. Even with a simple pistol.

Furno: Oh quit it with your bragging.

*****

Zoro got lost again

Surge: Hey, could you pass me the salt?

Breez: *about to grab the salt*

Zoro: I got this. *Takes the salt and gives it to Surge instead*

Moment of silence.

Quadle: [Who the f-ck are you?]

Zoro: *only understood beeping* What?

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6jbRRt0wug

Pirate AU

Guy: How the hell can a woman become a pirate? The rough seas are nothing for them, they should stay on land and take care of the family and be a good housewife!

Breez: *grabs the man by the nape and forces him to look at her* SAY THAT AGAIN I didn't quite hear ya! Messed with he wrong girl in the wrong era!

*****

Rocka: *watching some guardsmen of the villains* Okay, there's three of us, and fifteen of them... How do we quickly get rid of them?

Evo: I got it! *Whips out a minigun*

Nex: Nathan-!

*****

The team was sent to Oddzielny T5, a planet consisting of islands which are floating in the air and separate from each other, with nothing but an endless abyss beneath them. The inhabitants have adapted to it and all have either jump boost or the ability to fly.
Recently someone has been causing havoc on the planet and disturbing the usually peace atmosphere.

Evo: *standing by the edge of a particularly small island (it's barely an island, really, just a platform)* Ah hell naw mate, I wasn't planning on dieing today.

*****

POV: Surge is sick

Zib: *runs in at the sound of the fire alarm and smoke* WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?!

Rocka: *knocked out on the ground*

Stormer: *attempting to reach the fire alarm to turn it off*

Evo: *trying to put the fire out in the kitchen*

Furno: *appears behind the table, coughs* BAKFAST.

******

Pirate AU

Stormer: *walks into the shop* Good morning Zib, morning Quadle.

Zib: Ah, Stormer! Good morning to ye as well!

Quadle: *tired af cuz it's 5 am and it was still dark* Morn'...

Zib: I already have everything prepared, if ye would follow me to the back. The usual just times three, plus an ink bottle and new set of bandages?

Stormer: *goes to the back with him* Correct.

Zib: *hands him one of the crates and grabs one himself* Good, then I remembered everything correctly. *heading to the ship with him that was docked in front of the shop* Yer going to be gone for an awfully long while, huh?

Stormer: Oh definitely. A bit longer than a month.

Zib: *whistles* Hunting and trading I suppose?

Stormer: *places down his crate* Correct. *To the crew on the ship* ALRIGHT BOYS AND GALS! Move your behinds and get the goods loaded on the ship! We're leaving at 8 o'clock sharp, so hurry up!

Zib: *places down the crate* Already? Well I wish you a safe voyage.

Stormer: Yeah, thanks mom.

Zib: Mh?

Stormer: ... I did not just say that..

Zib: *laughs and goes back to his shop* I'll get another crate.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ1ek3t0ikU

Zib: Wait, what do you mean you don't like the social life?

Mak: I just don't. It's exhausting dealing with all the people, especially at clubs. The only reason I even go out is because there are days when I'm not getting bothered.

Zib: Paparazzi, I suppose?

Mak: *laughs and shakes his head* Even before I became famous. I just hated people.

*****

First moving in and renovating be like

Stringer: *in one room chipping away the paint*

Bulk: *punches a hole into the wall and opens his hand* Can you pass me the screw driver?

Stringer: *hands it to him* Here ya go.

Bulk: *retracts his hand* Thanks.

Seconds later

Bulk: *punches another hole into the wall, holding the screwdriver* Wrong one.

Stringer: *takes it and gives him the right one* Sorry.

Bulk: *retracts his hand again* It's fine.

Rocka:

Rocka: The F-CK?

*****

Samara: *remembers something and starts crying*

XPlode: Baby, what's wrong?

Samara: I hit my leg!

XPlode: But you've been sitting here for the past two minutes without doing anything, how did you hit your leg?

Samara: I hit it three days ago.

XPlode: ... Why are you crying now?

Samara: I forgot to cry that day.

*****

Child AU

Frozen low quality window and high body temp don't go well together

Furno (6): *leaning against the window while sitting on the window sill, looking outside*

Window: *glass suddenly cracks and shatter*

Furno: *falls down two stories, gets up and goes to ring the doorbell*

Zib: *opens the door* William? What are you doing outside?

Furno: I fell out the window.

Zib:

*****

Samara: *walks up to XPlode and Rotor's bed, in the middle of the night, tired af, blurry eyed and dragging her blanket behind her*

XPlode: *rubs his eyes and sits up* You need something Samara?

Samara: *tiredly* Is a duck a predator?

*****

While Zib was still in jail
He met his school bully

Officer: Why do you always hide your scar?

Zib: *about to put his mask on* Because I don't like it.

Officer: *stops him* Y'know, scars are something you should be proud of. Wether it's because you fell off a bike, or you caused yourself harm, they just show that you were hurt, or are hurting, but then it healed over. They show that you weren't doing well, but got over it. Don't be ashamed just because you tried to carve a smile onto your face.

Zib: Why are you telling me this?

Officer: I know acceptance is something you lack. And really, all your problems come from not accepting the fact that all the sh-t that happened in your childhood is in the past. Forgetting something is not equal to accepting something. But I've seen you fight back many times, Matteo. You're strong, you can get through it, if you would just stop running away and hiding from your problems.

Zib: ... What do you mean "Matteo"? How do you know about my father?

Officer: Remember the silver kid with gold eyes from highschool, who used to bully you?

Zib: No way... Zedd?

Zedd Clone: *smiles* Long time no see.

(Highschool and adulthood Zedd)

*****

This is an actual photo I saw (meme actually)

Arrested man: *on the ground, with his hands cuffed on his back, waiting to be taken to prison*

Meanwhile the police officers: *choking each other out*

*****

Stormer: *doing push-ups*

Zita: *pressing some buttons on the mat* B-tch b-tch b-tch try harder.

Stormer: *wheezing and collapses*

Zita: *presses the button* B-tch, yo weak.

*****

Someone: *posts a photo of Zib walking with a coffee cup* Where is he going, lol.

Zib: omw to break your ankles

(The fact the original thing was with Obama is somehow funny to me)

*****

The chaos has begun

Boss: I can't trust you to do simple stuff, like show up on a mission and- and...

Speeda: *holding one of Meltdown's test tubes like he's about to drink it*

Boss: AND NOT EAT POISON!!!

******

The squad went to a beach

Fire Lord: The water is too cold.

Nebula: It's literally 20°C.

FL: Too damn cold.

(Ib: Random convo with Biosector)

*****

Zib: I've realized that adulthood means adult money and adult money means that I can spend it on whatever the f-ck I want.

Zib looked at his phone and stood next to his wall of weapons.

Zib: Peace was never an option.

*****

Stormer: Guys, they're fighting! The boys are fighting!

With the boys he meant Rocka and Furno, who were head to head in an heated argument.
They were both suddenly grabbed by the head and then shoved down onto the ground.

Evo: God you make me lose my mind.

*****

Zib: Thresher will be coming over for the weekend.

Furno first had a puzzled expression, before his eyes widened in panic and put a hand to his head.

Zib: Furno?

Furno: I can't remember...

Zib: What??

Furno: I... I c-can't remember who Thresher is! I just... I can't connect the name to a person!

*****

Quadle: [Hey Zib, I might need your help-]

Quadle paused when he saw Thresher pinning Zib down on the bed. They stared at each other for a moment.

Quadle: [Nevermind, I'll try solving it by myself. Also, don't break the bed]

Zib: QUADLE YOU SHET!

Quadle is heard cackling in the hall as he closed the door.

*****

Girls day out with Breez and Siren

Breez: *posts a photo* Imagine not eating Italian food in Italy.

Male User: *comments* Imagine no boys.

Breez: What do I reply to that?

Lynn: *in a portal* "Imagine no b-tches". And when he answers with "Bro's before h-es", reply with "Chicks before d-cks".

*****

Lynn: I love when people go "oh, you just use fantasy to escape reality".

Lynn: YES DUDE. GET ME OUT OF HERE. If not physically, then mentally, at the very least.

*****

Surge: They say that when you can't sleep at night, it's because you're awake in someone else's dreams.

Surge: When I find you, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

His Hypnos: ... Uh, Amon?

Amon: Just deal with it.

*****

Furno: Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called trash CAN. Not trash CANNOT.

Evo: JOKES ON YOU in English it's called a bin!

Furno: EVO-

*****

Highschool AU

Surge: Oops, got your mental illness.

Grant: ... You give that back.

Grant: That was a gift from my DAD.

_____

Quadle: Okay, okay, I get it. You're all without dads or-

Furno: Not me. F-cking love my dad.

*****

Nex: Not so fun fact that affects the humans amongst us. You can go blind if your immune system finds it that your eyes exist. So that means-

G: WAIT, SO OUR IMMUNE SYSTEM DOESN'T KNOW OUR EYES EXIST?!

*****

Doom Box reference

Bulk: *tangled up in polyduranium wires*

Furno: *constantly getting sprayed with fire retardant foam*

Meanwhile Surge, in zero gravity turning over and over again: Around the world around the world-

*****

POV: not sexist and nice Shadowzone...

Shadowzone: *waving while running* PROFESSOR ZIB! I heard Alpha-Team got back from a failed mission! Are they okay? No one died, right? Are they in stable condition?-
        _   _
Zib: °∆°

*****

Villain Factory AU

Thunder: *sees a person run past* Look at that guy running. Why is he running? What's chasing him?

Thunder: *sees XPlode and Rotor chase the person, runs after them* Oh f-ck WE'RE chasing him?!

*****

Actor AU

Lynn: Sooo we're a bit tight on our budget, so instead of buying and building up the sets and using CGI, we have to move onto real life scenes for the majority of the episode.

Surge: But isn't the next thing we're filming with a car crashing into the camera?

Lynn: Yeahhhh...

Cam: No worries, we all share a single rule. "Camera man never dies"!

Surge: I still don't think that's a good idea-

Daniela: Me neither.

*****

The life of a dragon dad.

Lysander: Dad, help!

Rocka: *taking care of the female ice dragon who's sick* What's wrong?

Lysander: Maxine got stuck in the gate!

Rocka: ... Who's Maxine?

Lysander: I forgot you can only understand me... Uh, Maxine is the light blue one, with three horns and really smooth scales. And she's stuck.

Rocka: Oh dear lord- OW!

Rocka lifted up his foot on which a light pink baby dragon bit onto.

Rocka: I am NOT food, god damn it! *Looks up* BOLT, DON'T STEP ON THE GREEN ONE! AND LYSANDER, STOP TRYING TO PULL HER OUT BY HER TAIL!

*****

Surge: *looking out of the window* I'm always obsessed with these space missions.

Furno: I can see why.

Nex: I don't really care, I just want my meds...

Evo: They're right here, don't worry Julius.

Nex: Thanks. The two weeks without them really f-cked up my schedule of taking them.

Stormer:

Breez: Are you doing alright, Preston?

Stormer: Uhm... *Turns around in the chair showing the control screen is filled with static* I think our system is jammed.

Stringer: *takes a look* Bad news. Apparently no one bothered to check the ship because one, the system is DEFINITELY jammed. And two, even if we got it fixed, there isn't enough fuel to get us back home.

Bulk: *in co-pilot* I tried calling Zib. Not even that works, nor over our headsets.

The team exchanged looks, before utter chaos broke out and they all started screaming in panic.

******

Apocalypse AU

Zib: Oh my...

Stormer: What's wrong?

Zib: The virus has spread to other planets as well. We barely have enough heroes to take care of our planet, let alone the others in the Almaak System. The most affected, and the worst cases, are the security planets and Quatros.

Furno: Security planets and Quatros?? Those are like, the most important ones in the entire system!

Zib: Aaaand Thresher is in quarantine...

Bulk: Oh sweet Jesus...

*****

Guy: Me, or that American hero?

Stormer: First of all, I'm German-

*****

Purge: Who was your celebrity crush?

XPlode: No one.

Meltdown: Same.

Fire Lord and Nebula: STORMER-

*****

Zib: *looking everywhere, searching for Websy*

Zib: *lifts up some of his papers on his desk, sighs* I've been looking for you for 45 minutes.

Websy: *grooms herself, before crawling back under the paper*

(I've come to the realization that Websy is a tarantula with a jumping spider personality)

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR91SbzmCp0

Just a child (ib: Biosector's BP and link)

Little BP: *inhales and moves his horns forwards* Wuaaah! *Inhales* Wuaaah!

Rocka: ... I can't. *Buries his face into the couch pillow* I can't, I f-cking can't.

(Ib: Biosector. Again)

*****

Actual Discord Convo

Lynn: *having an episode of humour being broken into a million pieces, laughing and collapses on the bed*

Bio: Are you okay?

Lynn: Yup! I'm fine. But my humour isn't.

Siren: When is it ever fine?

Lynn: That's the joke. It never is.

Siren: *cackles at that*

Lynn: I am the Duchess of BROKEN HUMOUR. KNEEL BEFORE MEH!

Siren: I AM THE QUEEN OF THE RANDOM!!!

Both of them dieing of laughter.

Meanwhile Bio: Children.

*****

POV: Furno got adopted by the Fire Villains

Furno: *waves* HI GUYS!

Stormer: Furno, kid. What-?

Furno: I'm a part of the Fire Villains now! :D

Surge: Why-

Furno: They adopted me.

The team glared at the villains, specifically Fire Lord.

FL: Oi, don't give me that look.
_____

Furno: *walks in tried AF dragging his blanket behind him* Can you guys quiet down a bit? I literally woke up because of you guys and that says a lot, cuz I'm a heavy sleeper.

JetFire: *in the middle of it*

Fire Lord: GET OUT!

Jetbug: CLOSE THE DOOR!

Furno: My system is not functioning fully yet, so I can't see you. But it doesn't take a lot of imagination anyways. *Walks out* Just keep it down, I need my ten hour sleep.
_____

Purge: I never knew you could be such a child.

Furno: *sitting on Drilldozer's shoulder* Neither did I!
_____

Nitroblast: That boi is mean.

Fire Lord: Why's that?

Nitroblast: He poked my eye.

Furno: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

(Idea during a discord convo about Bio's Furno)

*****

Surge: *standing in front of a wall* We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

Surge t-posed and phased through the wall.

The team:

Surge: *pokes his head through* Guys, this is a very obvious illusion trick. Come on!

******

Highschool AU

Conservative teacher: *yelling at Bulk and Stringer for holding hands* I do not tolerate this sort of behaviour in my class!

Surge: Oh, so holding hands isn't allowed anymore?

Teacher: It's disgusting! The world doesn't need these gay homosexuals in it! It's unnatural! I don't get how you teens think this LGBt stuff is okay.

Surge: One, literally 80 percent of this entire school is part of the community. And what are you going to do? Send us to the principal's office for being open about our sexuality? Jokes on you he's also gay and the deputy director is trans. And the law doesn't bother about it as long as they're not a serious threat to the community. And two, by all laws of nature is IS very natural.

Teacher: They ARE a threat! Being gay is a SIN and yet they try to convince people it's good! They manipulate the mind of youngsters to make them turn to the devil. God did not create humans just for them to sin!

Surge stood up from his desk and walked over to the teacher's table. He stood in front of it and stared up at the teacher, who eventually got nervous and sat down, with Surge glaring down on him.

Surge: Well I APOLOGIZE for being one of the people who TRY to open the minds of others. We're just trying to help the other people in this world discover themselves, find out who they are and what they identify as, plus what preferences they have. Yes, there are limits, but that still gives you NO RIGHT to shove your religious beliefs down our throats. First of all, you Christians say God loves every human being equally, and then you go on how God hates gays, trans et cetera. And second, I am sure that there are not conservative christians out there, but it's people like you who throw a bad light upon your community.

Teacher: We are only protecting the children from your toxic mindsets and-

Surge slammed his hands down on the teacher's desk, making everyone jump.

Surge: WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CALL OUR MINDSETS TOXIC? Every group has a certain toxicity, yes. I don't believe the Alphabet Mafia is 100 percent good, nor do I believe that you Christians are 100 percent bad. But you dare call us toxic, when there a dozens of stories about religious families abusing each other because of apparently "committing a sin" and "not following god's directions". We have Muslims at our school, we have christians at our school, we have who knows how many beliefs at this school and also a lot of atheists. This place is just as open minded towards religions as it is to the LGBTQ+ community. In fact, I don't even care what kind of beliefs you have. But as soon as you start SHOVING IT DOWN OIR THROATS, then I will feel bothered. We would ALL feel bothered.

Surge: I'll suggest two options. You either shut your pretty little mouth and deal with what kind of people are in the class, no matter their belief, sexual orientation and identity and teach them what your supposed to teach them and only take care of the racists and religion hating students. Or two, you pack your seven little things and leave. Do I make myself clear?

Teacher: Y-yes sir.

Surge: Good.

Surge went back to his seat and rested his head on the table in his arms.

Furno: ... I didn't know I could become even gayer.

*****

Zib: I followed Joe's tip and mixed coffee with energy drinks instead of water.

Quadle: [So uhhh... How do you feel?]

Zib: My heart stopped beating two hours ago.

(Quote yoinked from Biosector's book. It's too good to skip)

*****

Voltixx: *walking around like he's looking for something*

Clementia: *sitting on a lamppost* What are you looking for, darling?

Voltixx: I don't know where my brother is.

Clementia: Brother?

Voltixx: Speeda Demon.

Clementia: Oh, I saw him being taken away by a woman just like two days ago. But I didn't interfere because I met her before and she's just loves adopting random robots. Plus, she's on our side.

Voltixx: WHERE IS HE?!

Clementia: Presumably the Villain Base, but I don't know where that is. Sorry hunny.

Voltixx: *close to having a breakdown*

*****

Zib was about to go on a date, so he threw on a dress and went on a train, because his car was being repaired.

Guy: *walks up to him* Hey, what are you doing all alone here? Why don't you show off your segsy body and dance for me?

Zib: *turns around with a smile and holds up his phone, revealing the 911 number, and a pepper spray*

*****

Breez: Rooose, remember how you wanted another sibling?

Rose: *nods at that*

Breez: *reveals a brown and white pigeon from behind her back* I got another one! This is biscuit, and she's going to be your sister from now on.

Rose immediately flew over to check her out, while Snowflake sat on Breez's shoulder.

*****

Furno: *stares at the water stream coming out of a socket* So uhm... Do we call an electrician or a plumber?

Surge and Evo: *trying to fix it but miserably failing as they get drenched* Both.

*****

Rotor: Here, we see a little dragon girl in her natural habitat.

Samara: *pokes her head out of the river* Rawr.

*****

Rocka: *distracted while cooking*

Pause at the moment he drops something into the oil and it literally combusts.

*****

Quadle: [Joe, how do you cope with stress?]

Big Joe: I mix coffee with energy drinks instead of water.

Quadle: [Great. I'm going to do that now-]

Joe: I NEVER SAID IT WAS A GOOD IDEA! AND HOW THE F-CK DO YOU EVEN DRINK?!

*****

Joe: It must be hard being the leader of a whole entire science team.

Su: It's manageable, though sometimes my crew just acts on intrusive thoughts which did result in some accidents... But aren't you like, all by yourself with all the upgrades and majority of repairs? How do you cope?

Joe: That's the funny thing. I don't.

(Petition to give Big Joe a team so he doesn't have to work alone)

*****

Zib: Mental health? BAD. Emotional health? BAD. Physical health? BAD.

Stormer: Hey are you okay?

Zib: *high on caffeine* Oh I'm fine.

*****

G: Why are so many dragons being delivered in?

Rocka: *holding a child dragon and two baby dragons in his arms* Global warming. Ice regions melting. Water pollution. Flooding. Forest being cut down. And the most classic. Hunters.

G: ... I thought that's a problem only Earth had...

Rocka: Well apparently NOT.

*****

Someone sent this into a discord sever

And I'm living

In fact. I actually made a video with Cat Zib on both TikTok and YT

*****

Purge: *knocks on the window*

Bot: *opens it, smiles tiredly* Hey.

Purge: Hi Sam. What's wrong?

Bot: Nothing, just a bit stressed.

Purge:  *narrows his eyes at him*

Bot: *sighs* My... Ex-wife came by and caused trouble...

Purge: You had a wife??

Bot: Mhm.

*****

Character design and info

Name: Maxwell Desiderio
Age: 50
Team: Omega Team

As mentioned in a previous chapter, he used to date a hero from his team called Aaron Hunter (later known as Core Hunter), before he broke up with him for a female hero.
Desiderio died during a mission which the team has lost against and the villains escaped. He was wrapped up in a fight against a villain who overpowered him. The hero called out to Hunter for help, who was also having "trouble" fighting another villain.
He was killed by getting stabbed in the back with a dagger, which destroyed his Quaza. It didn't go all the way through so his badge didn't get damaged.
During the battle he was also shot in the head, damaging his hardware. After a core transplant and reanimation, Desiderio took around two months to relearn all the important information he needed to know. During that time Hunter has left the HF.
He vaguely remembers the failed mission and Hunter and is able to recognize him after running into him on the streets.
Nevertheless he remembers his feelings towards Hunter and still loves him, while his feelings for the female hero, who also got killed, have died away.

Side info: His mission chief is Sturgeon Pinhead.