Rocka: *leans over the couch* Furno, Stormer's calling you.

Furno, asleep: *slaps Rocka and rolls over*

Rocka: *this betch was too stunned to speak*

*****

Surge: *working in the kitchen*

Brainy: *on the table while Phantom was outside*

Surge: *turns around* AAAAHHH-

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itwk-JFChSU

Speeda: Guys, look look! It says "Sasa lele"!

Meltdown: It says "Sale Sale", Speeda.

Thunder: Meltdown is right. *Mentally* I also thought it said "Sasa lele"...

Samara: 50% + 50%? Waah! It's all free!!

XPlode: *mentally* I actually thought it said "Sael Sael". I'm glad I didn't say anything...

*****

Surge: People be like "Why you eat Ice cream and cake and sweets when you're stressed out?" BECAUSE stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

*****

Purge: *comes back from a walk* XPlode? What's wrong?!

The named villain was having a breakdown on the ground in front of the base.

XPlode: *looks up* Samara. She's... Gone. I don't know where she is.

Purge: Maybe she's playing hide an seek with you?

XPlode: *shakes head* We already turned the house upside down, she's nowhere to be found. Rotor is flying over the forest to see if he can find a trace.

Soon later, helicopter noises was heard and Rotor landed next to them, retracting his blades.

Rotor: It's useless, the leaves have all grown back and you can't see a single thing.

That didn't help XPlode's emotional state. As Rotor tried to comfort him, Purge heard a raspy bark and saw Ginger poking her head out of a bush. Next to her, Phineas, the fennec fox, ran back and forth, constantly looking back at Purge. He took the hint and followed them deeper into the forest. At one point they came to a stop and Purge peeked around an old tree. The sight shocked him, as he laid his eyes upon a large building with camouflage painting and tinted windows. Ginger and Phineas growled a bit, as Purge fused into the shadow and went to the building. With the scanner he kept from his hero days, Purge scanned the material of the walls.

Purge: Steel with a fine layer of lead. It can block of x-rays and with the trees surrounding it, it won't show up on satellite pictures because of the branches and leaves. So that's how they stay hidden... *Over comms* Rotor, XPlode, get the other villains and head towards West of the base. It's about a 20 minute walk. I think I know where Samara is.

*****

Nex: *sleeping*

"Demon": I want to ki-

Nex: *throws a pillow at it's direction, even though it's not actually there* I DON'T GIVE A CRAP RESPECT THE NACHTRUHE!!!

Stormer: *outside* What the f-ck.

*****

POV: Bio!Furno in my AU on a mission

Bio!Furno: *trying to castrate XPlode with his bare hands*

XPlode: *screaming while attempting to fight him off*

Rotor: *trying to pull Furno away despite him being shorter than the hero*

Lynn, observing from a portal: I don't know what the f-ck just happened. But I don't really care, Ima get the f-ck outta here. F-ck this sh-t I'm out.

*****

Future AU

Stringer: You're an idiot.

Bulk: I'm your idiot.

Bulk: *holds up his hand with an engagement ring on his finger* Forever.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-N1Y2R0Jrk

Mafia AU

Furno and Stormer got into a car crash during a get away while music played from the radio.

Furno: *changes the station before going back to being ded*

Furno: Dude. *Changes it again*

Stormer: Hurry up Furno.

Furno: *finds one that he likes* There we go.

The two went back to being dead.
By the time the police found the car, the bodies were gone.

Surge: *running behind Bulk and Stormer while carrying Furno* Do I really need to drag your ass out of trouble every single time?

Furno: Shut up.

*****

Furno: *holding up a paper thin cucumber slice* You managed to slice a piece of cucumber into what, a hundred slices? In under 1 minute?

Surge: Yeeees?

Furno: Without losing a finger? ... How?!

Surge: Practice.

*****

Speeda: *turns on the stove*

The whole stove: *combusts*

Voltix: *runs in* NEBULA? SPEEDA?!

Nebula: *pulls out a metal shard out of his arm* I'm fine. Speeda?

Speeda: *on the ground, covering his face and head, looks up* I'm okay!

*****

Purge: Is there a chance your brother has ADHD?

Voltix: *looks at Speeda Demon who's focused on a puzzle box* I know where you got that from, but no.

*****

V. Boss in the past

Police: *holds up an ID card with a woman in it* Is this you?...

Boss: *already transitioned but didn't change his photo yet* ... Legally, I'm required to say "yes".

******

I've been called out

*****

Boy from class: Could it be that Mary used the excuse that god helped her have Jesus, to avoid Joseph thinking she cheated?

Boy: I mean, how else would she be pregnant with allegedly "Jesus's child"?

The gang:

Boy: Wait.

Me: SWEET HOME ALABAMA.

*****

Person: *comments* Men shouldn't wear women's clothes.

Zib: *posts a photo* Not even when it's fun and looks good?

*****

Zib: My doctor gave me a prescription and I forgot what it was, nor can I read it. Nex, what does this say?

Nex: "Anti-Depressant, 2x per day".

Zib: Thanks.

*****

The bar Rocka worked at was being robbed in the late afternoon. He himself didn't have his equipment with him and got cornered.
He suddenly grabbed the guy in front of him by the head and smashed it down on the counter. There was a crack sound and the guy's body went limb, as he bleed from his head. The other robbers present froze at that.

Rocka: *looks at them* There's a lion running free. You should run.

*****

Rocka: People be asking me why we drive a manual like bro, it's not a manual. It's...

Rocka: *puts a hat on the gear shift* Emanuel.

*****

Phineas: *laying by Nebula's foot*

Nebula: Looks like he's starting to feel comfortable here.

Phineas: *slowly opens his mouth to bite Nebula's leg*

Nebula: *pulls his legs close to him as he sits on the couch* Aye, no!

*****

Thunder: *slips on a step and almost falls*

Thunder: *manages to not fall, currently in a state of shocked paralysis*

Purge:

Vortex: His life just flashed before his eyes.

*****

Breez: I don't have a weapon with me.

Guy: So what are you going to do, girly?

Breez: ... But I do have three angry pigeons and a murder boyfriend.

Guy: What-

On cue, Biscuit, Rose and Snowflake flew at the man and attacked him. He ran off and ran straight into Virus and knocked himself out.

Virus: ... Nice.

*****

XPlode was out on a mission

Samara: *crying*

Rotor: *doesn't know what to do and holds her by the backdoor*

XPlode: *instantly comes running back for his daughter*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H539PTSZvF0

Blazer (Fire): I can't believe it. Did they seriously reject my offer? And you had to drag me away from them when I was this close to convincing them!!

Donovan (Darkness): *sitting on a table* The world don't evolve around you, boy you're not the only one.

*****

Speeda: Brothaaaaaa!

Voltix: *runs in* What, what's wrong?

Speeda: *holds up a white ferret* I found a long cat.

Voltix: ... Speeda, that's a weasel.

Speeda: Yeah! Long cat!

Voltix: *sighs*

Thunder: That's actually a ferret, not a weasel.

*****

CH: *not wearing his mask* Quite unfortunate that I ran into you three. I was hoping on having a nice day off.

Kai (water): *looks up at CH* You're hot.

Donovan: *hits her over the head* CHIMIKO! You're 16!!

Kai: What? Can't give people compliments anymore?

Donovan: Oh, that was more than just a compliment, I know it.

CH:

*****

Surge: *comes out with a plate full of sandwiches*

Raven: BOO!

Surge jumped at that and almost dropped all the sandwiches.

Surge: Don't do that! I'm too old to be jumpscared!

*****

Boss: Purge?

Purge: *rolls in on a chair* Now this looks like a job for me. *Looks over the brim of his shades* Yes boss?

Boss: *hands him a list* I need these materials from the Hero Factory. Think you can do it?

Purge: Should be doable.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVAkl2uPKyc

Evo: *pokes his head out of a lake that was turning red* I think there's been a confusion. I'm not the one in trouble here.

Kai: ... What?

Evo: It's just you and your "brother".

Evo lowered his gaze and rose out of the water on the back of a water horse, while Surge teleported in with Stormer.

Evo: You'll need more than that.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbAfitKZF04

Me: *minding my business*

Some neighbour below us: *starts playing music* BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM- *cuts off*

Me: Ayo-

*****

Lysander: ... Uh, dad?

Rocka: *has a stubby legged baby dragon clinging onto his hand with his mouth* Don't ask. He attempts to eat just about everything.

Topaz: *bites harder*

Rocka: OW, DAMN IT. Why are you biting me, Topaz? I'm not food! Is it because I just held fish and my hand smells like it now? Huh?

(Bio asked me to make a dragon based off of Topaz, their blue tongue skink. Ask and ye shall receive)

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpGme0BdNAk

Surge: What are your hobbies?

Raven: Nothing, because I'm not human.

Bulk: Are you from Earth?

Raven: No, because I'm not human.

Rocka: How old are you?

Raven: Ten, forever.

All three: Forever?!

Raven: I am not human. *Smiles* Because I am not human.

Splitface: *hiding behind Surge* I knew something wasn't right about this girl the second I met her...

*****

Mak: *wakes up on the couch and groans* F-ck, I have a hangover... Why am I on the couch? Oh well..

Mak got up, cleaned himself off and went to make breakfast.
Zib came downstairs wearing just panties and one of Mak's shirts that is practically oversized for him.

Zib: *hugs him from behind* Morning Mak..

Mak: *smiles* Good morning baby. *Realizes, mentally* Wait, why is Zibby here?

Zib: Last night was fun, though I'm sad you didn't sleep in the bed.

Mak: ... How many shots did I take?

Zib: A lot.

*****

Villain Factory AU

Rocka: *pulls down his hood and sighs upon seeing his lion ears* Why did they build me with these? I get it, enhanced hearing, but seriously?

Rocka flinched when someone closed the door behind him.

Furno:

Furno: Cat.

Rocka: *sighs and deadpans at him with a tired expression*

*****

Fantasy AU

Zib: ... Where's the new guy? Evo?

Nex: *points behind him*

There was a large watertube that goes through the entire factory, occasionally underground, for the ones who need water to survive long-term. Or for people like Evo who just sometimes swim in the water for fun.

Evo: *knocks on the glass and waves*

Zib: Oh, there you are. Can you hear me?

Evo: *nods*

Zib: Great.

*****

Boss: *comes back with groceries and materials*

XPlode: Boss? Did you seriously go out without a disguise?!!

Boss: *places the things down while Purge walks in* Yes.

Purge: *places his bags down and shapeshifted back to his form* Perks of no one knowing how he looks like.

*****

Serena and Corroder had an argument over Corroder's past and there was awkward silence during dinner.

Speeda: I got hit by a bus today!

*****

Meltdown asked Corroder for relationship advice

Corroder: Trust me, relationships are nothing but pain and misery.

Serena: *hits him over the head* You're one to talk.

Corroder just laughed and smiled at her.

Meltdown: *the Rock eyebrow meme*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXwjXTnPYsI

Lynn: *posts a video*

Person: *comments* Did he mean go for the throat as in no no thing, or kill him?

Lynn: ... Uh-

That one part of her brain: Okay, but like, consider.

Lynn:

Lynn: *screams in shipper mind*

*****

Splitface: *flirts as a joke*

Purge:

Purge: *starts flirting back*

Splitface: ... Welp-

And then they got married.

*****

Purge: Three... Two... One... *starts a timer* Go!

Meltdown: What are you doing?

Purge: Somehow, with Thunder regaining memories he's also relearning simple skills such as maths. I'm trying to see how fast he can solve the ten equations.

Meltdown: Ooookay?

Thunder: *puts pen down* And done!

Purge stopped the timer and looked over the answers.

Purge: ... They're all correct. Even the harder ones like 6x8-(173/9).

Meltdown: How fast?

Purge: 43,82 seconds.

*****

Me: So, Zib was working-

My friend: Twerking??

Me:

Friend: ... *Starts wheezing* I misheard I'm sorry!

Me: *also wheezing* Anyways, Zib was working-

Friend: I don't think he should be doing that doing work, but okay.

Me:

Me: I'm disappointed in you.

Friend: *wheezes*

(Ironic cuz she was disappointed in me when I made a "deez nuts" joke before that)

*****

Furno: Why do you eat so much chocolate?

Surge: I like it. It makes me happy.

Nex: Chocolate is actually the precursor to serotonin, so chocolate does have an effect of making one feel happy.

Surge: My Anti-Depressant.

Nex: Just don't eat too much... You can still overdose.

*****

Rocka: *mixing a drink*

Mak: How are you so good at shaking?

Rocka: *Side-eye*

Zib: *sighs*

*****

Core Hunter: So, what's this new project you needed help with?

V. Boss: *hands him a blueprint* I have the blueprints finished. I'm going to try and build a robot myself, like my brother did.

CH: ... V1? It looks a lot like Purge...

Boss: I did base him off of him, yes..

*****

Fantasy AU
Someone attempts to kill Phantom

Phantom: *something hits his head, looks around* Who just threw a rock at me?

Rocka: ... Black, that was a bullet of a gun.

Phantom: *looks down and picks up a bullet* Oh, you're right.

Rocka: How did it just bounce off?

Phantom: *laughs and throws the bullet into the trash can* Baby, it'll take a lot more to kill a demon like me.

*****

Zib: I find it weird that I like the pain Shadowzone inflicts on me. Like, I literally enjoy him hurting me.

Quadle: ... [Is that why you like fighting him so much?]

Zib: Oh no, I fight because he pisses me off, but I enjoy the pain. It's weird when you really think about it.

Welp. Ask and Dare and character chapter are in WiP, don't worry!