******088:

Aubrey

Lance came over while Rafe was still in the shower. He and I sat on the patio, watching Rein and Felicity play in the sand in their pajamas. Lance had brought his Starbucks, and I had my smoothie.

He was dressed for the day—cargo shorts and a white polo shirt, flip flops baring long well-manicured toes. I wondered if he did it himself, and then wondered if he'd do mine. I couldn't bend over that far anymore. I asked him, and he laughed and said he had not done his own, but he would be very happy to do mine--- if I didn't choose to have them done at some fancy celebrity place, and I did not want that, so he said he'd do them.

"So, you going to go ahead and go to the funeral even with Chris's edict?"

I stared ahead at the kids playing, running little cars and ponies in the sand. Seagulls flew overhead, and the wind and waves were soothing this early. Chris did not want me or the kids there. I wasn't sure of her reasons--- she seemed to want everyone else there.

"I don't know." I answered.

"I think you should go."

"I don't want her to make a scene."

Lance rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He shrugged. "She very well might."

"I want to be there for you and Rafe, of course, but.... Well, are you taking your kids?"

"She was their grandma, yeah."

I stared back at the waves, now not seeing them, the white caps, Catalina, or the fog bank.

I just didn't know what to think.

Rafe came out then, talking to Ben on the phone. He had a special way he spoke with Ben, you could always tell when he talked to him. He was followed by a sleepy Virgil rubbing his eyes, still wearing pajamas. His hair all stood up on end. Like father like son, I thought fondly.

He clicked off and greeted us--- me with an oink--- and I colored warmly.
Lance took immediate offense, thinking that he was referring to my pregnant belly, and I had to laugh and raise my brows—he could explain that one if he wanted. It seemed he did not.

"Ben came up with the song, but the choir cannot sing with us. We'll just do it by ourselves. The minister she wanted also begged off.." Rafe smiled and sat down.

"Wow!" Lance breathed. "Are they too busy? I'm not used to you being refused."

"Chris said they won't because I have publically withdrawn support for the LGBT community, which isn't true at all--- there has been no announcement at all."

"Well, you made regular donations and a signature comment in just about every interview. Darnell was right in that it was obvious that you withdrew support."

"And it's no secret that we married in the temple, and are active in church. Word got around quicker than your official announcement, if there was one." I agreed. "I'm really sorry. Is she pretty mad?"

"She's reconciled to it. She said Ben and me can sing."

Lance looked up into the sun and squinted at him, with his hand shading his eyes. "What song are you singing?"

"You can sing too, baby brother. We're singing Goodnight Sweetheart by Dean Martin."

Lance blinked---- "The fifties song?"

Rafe laughed and sang: "Goodnight sweetheart well it's time to go, bu, bu,bu,bu,bum, goodnight sweetheart well it's time to go...."

"No." Lance cautioned him.

Rafe laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "Nah—there's another one--- more in line with the message we want to send,

"Goodnight sweetheart, 'til we meet tomorrow
Goodnight sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow
Tears and parting may make us forlorn
But with the dawn a new day is born
So I'll say goodnight sweetheart, though I'm not beside you
Goodnight sweetheart, still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you and in each one I'll hold you
Goodnight sweetheart, goodnight
The day is over and it's cares and woes
In peaceful sweet repose, will fade and die
A dreamy dreamland beckons you and me
How happy life would be if we could dream forever
[spoken]:
So I'll say goodnight sweetheart
Even though I'm not, I'm not always right beside you
I'll still say goodnight, goodnight sweetheart
I want you to know that my love, my love will always guide you
And dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you
Goodnight sweetheart, goodnight..."

Lance wiped at his tears. "I'll sing it with you." He said softly. "It's perfect."

"It was Bing, by the way." I corrected.

"Bing wrote it, Dean performed it too. I like Dean's version." Rafe patted my shoulder too, he seemed more like himself without the anger and a little sleep under his belt. He went out and sat in the sand near Rein and Felicity and started playing ponies and cars.

"I think Aubrey and the kids should all come to the funeral." Lance said.

"I think so too." Rafe whistled and zoomed his car over Felicity's pony castle, making her humph at him in annoyance.

"I don't want Chris to make a scene." I called from my perch on the lounge chair.

"She won't. She's got media coverage."

"Maybe she wants to make a scene."

"Then she'll be sadly disappointed, because Roger's got all the security wrapped up tightly. Marc Shepherd and his team have been called in to do the honors with Oliver and Roger, and for all intents and purposes, it should be a very simple affair. I heard from the bank this morning as well. Dad's and mom's interests were settled in their divorce. The will can be accessed after probate in about two weeks. She didn't have a lot of debt--- I saw to that."

"Did you Rafe?" Lance asked incredulously.

"She's my mother, of course."

"Even when you were so hurt by her?"

"Especially then. Verbal estrangement did not mean financial estrangement. She knew that. I would never leave her destitute. I don't judge people, Lance, and I take care of my own."

Lance hung his head and I patted him softly.

Felicity had wormed her way into Rafe's lap, and he was having to play around her. Rein was standing, toddling, his diaper sagging, and he grabbed it and pulled at the tape holding it together. His face took on a very pained expression. I scooted to the edge of the seat.

"Rein, baby, do you have to go potty?"

"Pee." He looked up still grabbing himself.

I got to him and ripped the diaper off, heading him in to the bathroom, we got there and he let loose in the toilet for the first time.

I couldn't have been more excited. Potty training Rein was one of the biggies. He was almost four. He and Felicity actually overlapped by about a month. In fact, seeing Felicity go in the toilet was very encouraging for him. I got him some big boy underwear--- with Spiderman--- and he got to pick something out of the treasure box. By this time the whole family was involved. Everybody was cheering and admiring his new Matchbox car from the treasure box.

Rein was very pleased. He wanted up---- from me, and Rafe had to grab him and swing him around, and then when I was seated on the couch in the den, I could squish him up against my ever-burgeoning body.

I'd never felt more like a family than in that moment.

*****