It turned out he had reservations. When had he had time to do that? And weren't we way out? Like how do you get reservations at Il Cielo on the very day? Or was it because he was Rafe Stryker?

We went right in and were seated in a beautiful small secluded area with long drippy candles and rose petals. After a moment's hesitation, Rafe ordered us virgin drinks, and dinners with names I didn't even want to attempt pronouncing. His eyes were bright, and he held my fingers across a teeny tiny table--- he started telling me about the restaurant, and how many times he'd been here. He told me about other people he'd seen here, celebrities and people of notice. He was so funny--- he had his own celebrity awe, his own sense of humility when it came to meeting great people. He had his own funny little nervous attitude when it came to behavior in places like this, even though he was so confident. It was such an odd combination, but I could see that as incredible as he was, he wasn't conceited, or stuck on himself. I thought about trying to balance my life as a doctor with his life as a rock star for the very first time.

He twirled the ring on my finger. It was a little loose, and he took it off and examined it and then put it back, then put it on his little finger and then back on mine. He tried it on my middle finger which was a little bigger and it fit closer, so he said to keep it there tonight and tomorrow we'd get it adjusted. I stared at it in disbelief.

"This is jumping the gun a little, don't you think? What happened this morning, and this afternoon at your Mom's, and... gees, Rafe, we haven't even---"

"Found your voice huh? I was wondering when it would set in." He fingered the ring as the drinks came and the salads. "Listen, I took all that into consideration. Really--- it was as you were explaining things to Lance. You did an amazingly good job defending your beliefs by the way. I was quite impressed."

"You did what while I was talking to Lance?"

"Decided that no matter what, you are the one, and I can handle the changes that need to be made. It's gonna take some time, but it will be worth it."

I smiled, inside and out, but secretly wondering ---- handle the changes?

We ate our salads, sipped our drinks, and he smiled and told stories and laughed until we forgot how strange this all was. He was so engaging--- and so amazing--- and so flamboyant, and genuine and in his element, he set me at ease--- even though I felt that Christmas morning excitement in the background of my thoughts. I realized it wasn't the first time he'd been able to get me preoccupied, that he'd distracted me quite well from my nervousness. He was actually perceptive in a way I hadn't given him credit for.

I told him so and he smiled. Our food came and he still held my hand.

"It's the whole Superman thing going on."

I cocked my head to one side. "Superman?"

"You make me feel like Superman. When I'm with you I'm ten feet tall and I can fly."

I laughed.

The food was delicious. Rafe talked pretty much the whole time, not about himself, and not not about himself. He talked about himself, but in an abstract way. And he told about others he admired or thought were better than him, that he'd like to promote or emulate. And he told about being on tour with the guys.

We didn't sit there any longer than necessary, though, but I was pretty calm as we passed the others on our way out, people who were waiting, or photographers, and a few other celebrities already seated. It was way--- I repeat--- way out of my league. Rafe said hi to everyone, slapped hands, shook hands, grinned, posed, pulled me in for a pose.

We made it to the car and I was like--- laughing but a little giddy--- over stimulated.

"How can you stand it? You love it, don't you? You feed off it?"

"Like a vampire. We've been compared to bloodsuckers before, some blogger, you know. So about the club. It'll be cool, okay? Have you been to a club? No? So, there are two types of clubs. Number one is the kind where you go and there are lots of tables and you sit and drink and occasionally get up and dance by your table, and you go just to be seen and you might eat or mainly drink and get wasted. And that's it. Or number two--- you go for the dancing--- there's an amazing incredible DJ and you basically fall at his feet and do whatever he says and dance however he says and it's this ethereal experience--- kind of spiritual. I've heard it compared to the children of Israel when they built the golden calf."

I gave him my most dubious expression. "So, we're going to worship a false God?"

He laughed and laughed. "Yep."

"I can't dance, Rafe. Not like--- that."

"Yeah, you can. You just move however you feel, and lots of people will be all around you doing it too."

"You?"

"I will be there, dancing, with you, and only you." He grinned. "Man--- the thought of it, dancing with you again, with people all around, hot and sweaty and slippery and kind of primal..."

I rolled my eyes and my insides did another flip flop. I was pretty sure this wasn't going to happen for me. No matter trust. It wasn't about trust. It was about comfort zone---

*******