How am I even qualified to be a female? Who's genius idea was it to let me have a vagina? I suck at being a girl. I can't contour my face, eyebrows not on fleek, can't dress cute. But I can put down some alcohol, eat twice my body weight and have a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush.
I'm a dude.
I'm basically a dude.

...

I'm sorry guys I haven't gotten much sleep lately I'm sorry

~Aly