Miko: Are you ready to go to the carrot?

Jack: Wut

Miko: Dammit CARROT

Miko:.

Miko: Concert! The Concert

Jack: Oh yeah I'm ready, lol

>>●<<

Arcee: FML, I just read Leia Organa as Leia Orgasms

Wheeljack: What sort of Star Wars are you watching

Wheeljack: Is it the porn parody with Handjob Solo and U-Do-Mi-2

>>●<<

Lennox: You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.

Epps: One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a Tuesday. Today is not that day.

>>●<<

June: Why didn't you tell me that your new girlfriend only ate orgasm meat? There's perfectly good stuff in the shop and yet you left her stuck eating salad!

Jack: Orgasm meat?

June: ORGANIC

June: Damn phone

>>●<<

Elita-One: I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.

Ratchet: You know me

>>●<<

Bee: Was the movie any good?

Raf: If you like Star Wars, then go. But there isn't much explanation between Return of the Jewish and the Force Awakens.

Raf: *Jedi

Bee: Return of The Jewish XD

>>●<<

Bulkhead: I got you breasts for Christmas

Miko: U WOT M8

Bulkhead: BEATS

Bulkhead: By Doctor Dre

Bulkhead: I got you headphones please don't murder me

>>●<<

Bee: MERRY CHRISTMAS MOONCHILD WHAT DID YOU GET

Raf: I got an anus laptop and some ball point penis

Bee: What kind of drugs have you been taking cause I want some

Bee: Ratchet is singing again

Raf: An ASUS laptop and some ball point PENS

Bee: k you had me worried

>>●<<

Jack: I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such great hopes for myself as a child.

Miko: yea...tonic water is fucking gross.

>>●<<

Miko: Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.

>>●<<

June: Happy Syphilis

Ratchet: Isn't that an STI

June: Merry *Christmas

June: Syphilis isn't too merry from...what I've heard

>>●<<

Bee: THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.

Smokescreen: On my way

>>●<<

Starscream: Don't forget, we're doing the thing on Sunday

Knockout: Wanking in anticipation

Knockout: *Waiting

>>●<<

Prowl: What's that Earth Christmas band you like again?

Jazz: Fran's Sociopathic Orchid

Jazz: Trams Subordinate Orchestra

Jazz: TRANS SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA DAMMIT

>>●<<

Epps: Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.

Lennox: I'm the one who has to explain it to my mother

>>●<<

Arcee: So what did Miko give you for Christmas

Jack: A box of children

Jack: I meant chickens

Jack: I meant CHOCOLATES

>>●<<

Miko: Dammit I caught my shirt on fire taking a bong rip and now it's all singed

Miko: It was the one that cute French girl left in my apartment

Jack: The Avengers one

Miko: Yeah :/

>>●<<

June: I really want penis right now

Jack: wat o.0

June: *peanuts

Jack: Oh gosh you had me freaked out

>>●<<

Miko: It's so nice being home, but I miss you guys.

Miko: Oh god

Jack: What

Miko: My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas.

>>●<<

Bee: Stay inside, there's goofball sized hail forecast

Arcee: What? XD

Bee: Goofball

Bee: Golf fucking ball

>>●<<

Knockout: Fuck you. Leave my ass out of this. IT DID NOTHING TO YOU

>>●<<

June: I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!

Jack: MOM

June: I have a life outside of this house

>>●<<

Wheeljack: Hey, I just saw there was an earthquake near you, you ok?

Bulkhead: We're all fine

Wheeljack: What did it rate on the titty scale?

Bulkhead: They only jiggled a little, so not that high

Wheeljack: *Richter

>>●<<

Arcee: All I've had today is energon and orgasms

Wheeljack: Hey, you do you girl

Arcee: Doing myself is all I've been doing