Epps: We should start a Freak-Out-The-Cashier contest. I just bought red high heels, lube and Jersey Shore Season 2

>>●<<

Knockout: Then a garbage truck pulls up, they hop out and walk right in like they own the place

Breakdown: Is this normal behavior for humans at a nightclub?

Knockout: I don't know! The last time I was here somebody brought in an elk

Breakdown: An elk?

Knockout: I don't even know how they fitted it through the door.

>>●<<

Jack: Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all the bacon, asshole

>>●<<

Bee: How high were you when you left that message because you made actual credible seal noises

Smokescreen: What's a seal?

Bee: WTF were you drinking last night

Smokescreen: I want to know as much as you do

>>●<<

June: My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream

June: Oh god wrong number

Jack: MOM WHAT THE HELL

June: I'm allowed to have a life!

Jack: You don't have to text me about it

>>●<<

Miko: I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god now xD

Arcee: Well done you ^^

Arcee: I just tighten the bolts on my chestplate

Arcee: Works every time

>>●<<

Arcee: Good news: I got laid. Bad news: By my boss

Moonracer: How many times have I told you? You + Mind Altering Substances = Bad Decisions

Arcee: Does it count as a bad decision if it was really really good?

Moonracer: Yes

>>●<<

Jack: How long until you're healed?

Miko: Physically? A week. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat party and flashing my panties to the whole crowd will never heal

>>●<<

Smokescreen: I made a profile on that new dating site

Bee: Plenty Of Bots?

Smokescreen: Yeah. My profile is full of Attack On Titan references and only people who get them are getting messages back

Bee: Seems reasonable

>>●<<

Chromia: HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!

Arcee: Face it, the closest you're getting to successful is "Better Than Moonracer"

>>●<<

Epps: I don't know, I have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk

Lennox: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THAT TO MY FAMILY! IT WAS THREE IN THE AFTERNOON FOR FUCKS SAKE.

>>●<<

Lennox: I'm never going out with you again. I've never been this hung-over in my life

Epps: Oh come on we were drinking out of pineapples that had to count for something

>>●<<

Jack: What happened?

Miko: Mardi Gras

Jack: Everytime

>>●<<

Smokescreen: I was just thinking what if all the energon on Earth turned to jello and I got freaked out

>>●<<

Knockout: Remind me to tell you about the topless police woman who tried to taze me

Breakdown: Will do

>>●<<

Jack: Bulkhead, do you know where Miko is? I haven't seen her for two days and she isn't answering her phone. My mom has filed a missing persons report.

Bulkhead: Don't worry, I found her outside Taco Bell drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.

>>●<<

Wheeljack: FUCK YOU ENERGON I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW

>>●<<

Raf: Sorry for yelling at you, I'm emotional about missing Comicon

Bee: I know that feel :/

>>●<<

Bulkhead: Pretty sure that ice cream van is following me

>>●<<

Smokescreen: My paint-job is scratched from sitting on someone's face on concrete

Bee: Seriously?

Smokescreen: Totally worth it

>>●<<

Wheeljack: Why don't you just come over, fuck me and then leave so I can get drunk and watch CSI: New York

>>●<<

Miko: I need to get all the one night tinders out of my system before collage is over for this year

Jack: That would be a good idea

>>●<<

Starscream: Sorry I blacked out our whole relationship

>>●<<

Bee: Something must have happened. They started yelling "truffle butter" and you said "WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW"

Ratchet: I'll tell you when you're older

Bee: I'm old enough to get drunk

Ratchet: Trust me, you're not old enough to know about this

>>●<<

Bulkhead: It's shark week go big or go home

>>●<<

Arcee: Are you sexting with minion stickers right now

Knockout: This is a new low even for me