Jack: I think I need to take my dog to the vet :/

Raf: Why?

Jack: I'm almost certain she has dicks. I saw a huge one on her back the other day.

Raf: ...Well, that certainly is one reason to take your dog to a vet (._.)

Jack: No no no I meant ticks! I think she has ticks! I think I need to take my bloody phone to a vet, cause something's wrong with it.

>>●<<

Miko: I'm babysitting the perviest dog in the world. I found him chewing one of my bras yesterday, and he's already destroyed five other ones.

Bulkhead: What type of dog?

Miko: A burger collie

Miko: Heh! A border collie, he'd be more tolerable if he was a burger T.T

>>●<<

Bee: Are we doing a hyena tonight?

Smokescreen: Nope, but I'll watch you do it :/

Bee: I doubt there are any hyena's around, but I'll have a look xD

Smokescreen: Lmao, I'm staying in tonight. I have an early shift tomorrow :/

>>●<<

June: She's the posh one in the family. I always hear her with her husband "I'm arriving! I'm arriving!"

Jack: wat

June: Ooops! Wrong number (=^.^=). Meant to send this to someone else

Jack: Mom, since when did you use emojis

June: Oh come on! I'm a cool mom (^.^)

Jack: Please. Stop. Now.

>>●<<

Agent Fowler: There's another meeting scheduled for 6 tomorrow. The top brass are in through the ass stick about it. I'm not so sure.

Ratchet: They are what?! Is this some kinky human thing I haven't been told about yet?

Agent Fowler: No no! I meant *enthusiastic. I'm using voice recognition, it's buggy sometimes.

Ratchet: Alright then, in the mean time, I'm going to try and get rid of certain mental images.

>>●<<

Miko: I'm thinking of fucking a cake this weekend. Want to help?

Jack: No thanks bruh. You do you, I'll do me and we won't do each other (or pastries)

Miko: *baking! I meant baking (;.;)

Jack: Hehe, I burn everything I bake, so I'm not going to be helpful :/ In the area of taste-testing how ever...

>>●<<

June: I'm in Walmart. I've got milk and butter. Is there anything else I should get?

Jack: Can you get doritos? Also, what's for dinner?

June: I was thinking salad and maybe a naked pastor

Jack: With some fava beans and a nice Chianti?

June: *baked potato! I meant baked potato

June: Clarice