(Whatsapp)
(Subject: Leaving Ahri alone)

Irelia: Abyss Watcher!

Grey: Yeah?

Irelia: where are you?

Grey: I'm on a mission from the High Summoners.

Grey: what's wrong?

Irelia: why did you leave the nine tailed fox in Ionia!?!?

Grey: because that's Ahri's home?

Irelia: she started causing chaos!

Irelia: she got bored so she started going around messing with people!!!

Grey: that does sound like something Ahri would do when she's bored.

Irelia: that's all you have to say!?!?

Grey: What do you expect me to do? I'm on the other side of Runeterra.

Irelia: she's making a mess here!!!!

Grey: can't be that bad.

Irelia:

Irelia: THIS is what happens when you leave Ahri unsupervised!!!!

Grey: well, at least Zed got to finally touch Syndra's bosom, because I'm pretty sure we all got tired of him waiting.

Grey: wait, why is Thresh there?

Irelia: while you are right about the Zed part, Thresh being here is irrelevant. Right now, she's seeing who else she can hook up.

Irelia: she's trying to play match-maker!

Irelia: forcibly!

Irelia: by making couples have physical contact!

Grey: wait, why should you care?

Grey: you're the captain of the Ionian guards. Cleaning up after her is going to be done by the elders.

Irelia: I'm not worried about cleaning up!!!

Irelia: Riven is here on a visit, and your fox might embarrass me in front of her!!!

Grey: Riven?

Irelia: F*CK!!!

Irelia: I didn't mean to type that!

Grey: before you say anything, I have nothing against lesbianism.

Grey: I'm just surprised since I thought you hate all Noxians.

Irelia: Riven is different, okay?

Irelia: plus, have you seen her after a workout? Especially when she's all sweaty and her muscles shining.

Irelia: this message was deleted.

Grey: I didn't have time to read the third one, why did you delete it?

Irelia: Trust me, you don't want to know what I wrote after that muscles thing.

Irelia: so I'll make a deal with you.

Irelia: you don't tell anyone about my thing with Riven, and I don't order an execution for your lover.

Grey: no.

Irelia: No? Don't you care about her?

Grey: it's not that.

Grey: I just know that you won't actually touch her.

Irelia: why?

Grey: Ahri is agile and quick enough to escape from you until I get there or she gets to the Institute where you're not allowed to touch her.

Irelia: so either way, I'm screwed.

Grey: by the way, Ahri just texted me her own photo of Zed being in Syndra's bosom. She honestly feels proud with herself.

Irelia: wait.

Irelia: your lover sends you pictures of other women's chests?

Irelia: shouldn't she do the opposite. make sure you don't have a picture of another woman.

Grey: honestly, other than Ahri, I have no sexual interest for anyone.

Grey: in fact, Nidalee can walk around naked and I wouldn't bat an eye.

Irelia: seriously?

Grey: well, I guess Sona is an exception.

Grey: can you blame me though? Have you seen her in a cow girl cosplay? (And I'm not talking about the wild west version).

Irelia: no, and I don't want to. Because, I'd leave Riven for her in a heartbeat.

Irelia: I'd rather stay interested in only Riven, thanks. Sona already has enough fans.

Irelia: but more importantly, did you just admit to me that you might be interested in another girl other than Ahri?

Grey: here's the deal, I keep my mouth shut about Riven, and you keep your's shut about Sona.

Irelia: I'll accept if you promise to come and take Nine tails.

Grey: deal.

Irelia: wait, don't you have a mission for the High Summoners?

Grey: I finished it while we were talking.

Irelia: wait, were you texting while fighting?

Grey: yes.

Irelia:.................... I don't want to know why you learned how to do that.