Chapter 4: I Have a Score to Settle with My Friend’s Little Sister!
The fall breeze swept openly along the roof of Kouzai High School. That cool wind hailed the end of summer. It carried along the excited voices of students staying behind and preparing for the festival, and the calls of sports club members doing their usual practice, as though they had no clue about the upcoming event whatsoever.
I stood in the middle of the rooftop with my arms folded, glaring at the door.
Of course, I was waiting for Iroha to show up.
It had been a while since I’d sent that LIME message. The read notification came up but she didn’t reply, so I sent her a new message every minute. Checking our history, I noted that my next would be the fifty-ninth.
I knew that what I was doing was creepy and amounted to high levels of crazed-yandere-stalker (and...sent), but this was important—both for my own goals and for Iroha’s life. I couldn’t just sit back and watch her go through with this. I didn’t care if I annoyed her. I was going to keep at it until I saw her walk through that door.
My phone buzzed. It took mere seconds for me to tap the screen and open LIME. Iroha: Sorry for replying so late! I was de-canaryfying myself!
Her reply made little sense. I could feel my brain itching to extract some meaning from the word “de canaryfying.”
Iroha then sent a message saying she was on her way, so my sixtieth message to her was a simple “OK.”
As promised, she showed up at the roof moments later, out of breath.
“Sorry to keep you waiting!”
“You’re finally here. Are you suitably de-canaryfied?”
“Yup! I got rid of her along with a ton of sweat while running here!”
It didn’t look like she was joking. I’d already mentioned she was out of breath, but her bangs were a little sweaty, and her school blouse slightly see-through too. I wondered how she must have looked to the classmates who she had been helping prepare for the festival when she suddenly told them she was going for a run and dashed out of the classroom.
“You already knew, huh, Senpai?”
“Knew what?”
“That today I called on the spirit of Canary-san and was acting as her.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, I saw you around today.”
“Huh. Then you know what I’m trying to do, don’t you?”
“More or less.”
“Seriously? You’re way too sharp, Senpai.” Iroha smiled at me a little awkwardly as she regained her breath.
I could see why she’d feel awkward about it. Iroha hadn’t told me directly why she was taking on the roles of other girls. My conclusion was something I’d cobbled together by listening to what Mashiro and Sasara had had to say. But Iroha’s reaction just now made me think maybe my answer wasn’t all that far off the mark, so it was time to own it.
“I’m not your producer for nothing, you know.”
“Right. That’s my Dreampai!”
Dream pie?
Oh. Dream and senpai. Was I dirty-minded for mishearing her for a second there? “You’re checking out the competition. That’s what this is about, right?”
Iroha’s shoulders twitched. “I guess, yeah.”
My friend’s little sister’s reaction told me I was right. Her mouth was squirming like a caterpillar, a clear sign she was feeling awkward.
It was the guilt. The guilt for daring to throw away all peskiness to replace it with a new persona. “That was why you acted like Mashiro and Sumire-sensei. By becoming them, you could really understand the core of their being.”
“Yeah...”
“You said you were gonna enter the Queen Nevermore contest, right?”
“You know about that too?” Iroha laughed, nervous. “I think I just got too much into Canary-san’s character. Everyone was telling me I should enter, and I just kinda hopped on board.” “You’re not intending to enter as yourself—the annoying girl you are around me—are you?” “Huh? Of course not; that’d be crazy. I’m going as my innocent honor student self.” “Remember how we created Kokuryuuin Kugetsu together? We worked side by side to come up with the cutest thing we could for the Koyagi fans, and we found it.”
“Hm? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Everything. It was the annoying we mixed into her personality that raised her attractiveness up to the next level. Basically, what I’m saying is, you know, well. You’re attractive enough as you are, with the whole...annoying thing...”
Ugh. I was starting to speak like a company executive who was trying to cover up an unfortunate truth.
You don’t have to say it; I knew how pathetic I was being, but I didn’t have a choice. Do you have any idea how stupidly embarrassing it is to tell someone they’re cute right to their face? Try it—I bet you couldn’t do it.
Wait, who the hell am I talking to?
“I’m just saying, you don’t need to feel like you have to copy other people. You should enter the Queen Nevermore contest as yourself, with your annoyingness cranked up to eleven. That way, you’ll be able to find friends who accept you as you—”
“O-Oh. I knew it, Senpai.”
“Huh?”
For a second, she looked to me like a cat with its fur standing on end. The friendly expression on her face from before was nowhere to be seen, and instead she was glaring at me with an almost feline wariness.
“No way am I doing that. I’m never ever gonna annoy anyone other than you, Senpai!” “Why is this such a big deal to you?” I was incredulous.
“You said you’re not my producer for nothing, but you don’t understand me at all! You don’t understand a single hair on my head. You’re the dumbest, densest director ever!” “What?!”
Her insult was grade-school level, but in a weird way, it really hurt. It was like she’d set the second hand of my internal clock so it was hours behind the real world. Something like the difference between Japan and Rio de Janeiro.
Wait, what do you mean they’re twelve hours apart so it wouldn’t make a difference? Whatever, I’m trying to come up with a good simile here. You get the picture, right?
“I’m never gonna show anyone in school my annoying side, because I don’t need any friends who accept me for who I am!”
“Why are you so against it? No one’s gonna hate you for it. And if people can accept you for being yourself, wouldn’t that make your life a whole lot easier?”
“They wouldn’t accept me! The problem is you don’t realize how nice you are! You’re the only one who’ll ever forgive me no matter what I do, and that’s the way I want it to stay!” We were talking about the same thing at the start, but somewhere along the way our conversation split into two directions, each leading to a precipitous cliff that we flung our emotions off, allowing them to hurtle rapidly in different directions.
“I’ve created a version of myself that everyone loves. I don’t need to be myself at school to get through it—otherwise, I wouldn’t be the most popular student in my year.”
“Can you show me the data that proves you’re the most popular? How can you say that? Or is it something you’ve decided for yourself? Or is it just a feeling?”
“I don’t...have any data, but...”
“If it’s all subjective, then you can say whatever you want, right? Maybe you are popular when you’re acting like an honor student. But sometimes what you think and what the numbers say can paint a very different picture.”
Works that got discussed a lot on social networks might not sell. Celebrities who get criticized a lot online might have an even larger number of silent fans. You could never rely on those acting on a general feeling, because there were cases when the harsh reality of the numbers outed them as nothing more than a vocal minority. Unfortunately for us, we didn’t have the numbers to settle this debate yet—so there was only one thing to do.
“Let’s compete for Queen Nevermore.”
Declare war.
“What?”
“You enter as the character you insist on playing, not as yourself, and then I’ll thrash you.” “You wanna enter Queen Nevermore? Hold on, I’m not getting this. Wait. You mean you’re gonna become a girl or something? Aha ha ha! Good one, Sen—”
I looked her right in the eye and opened my mouth before she could finish laughing off the idea. “That’s right.”
“Wait, really?!” Unnerved by the strength of my resolve, Iroha’s eyes widened, and she stared at me blankly.
“Really. I’m gonna show you that there’s no way a Kohinata Iroha without her special brand of annoying can ever beat me. That’s right...”
Any gamer would know what to do when their opponent flinched like this. Take the opportunity to attack. Attack, attack, attack. I stepped up to the frozen Iroha and looked her in the eye before delivering a decisive, final blow.
“I will become a girl to show everyone how cute you are when you’re annoying!” “This conversation isn’t making any sense anymore!”
Was she saying she still didn’t understand? My motive was simple, logical, and honest. Iroha didn’t believe in the charm that lay within her annoying nature. She’d convinced herself that no
one was going to accept her for it. So she was now trying to pick up a new mask like it was some secondary sexual characteristic, hiding her true self further away and pulling away from her director’s principles.
In order to break down this character she’d hastily put together, I needed to dress up as a girl and beat her with the truth till she was unconscious, presenting her with the indisputable evidence that was the results of the Queen Nevermore contest.
Iroha pouted and glared at me. “You really want a world where I can be annoying to everyone so badly that you’re willing to switch genders?”
“Yes.”
“And you really think you’re gonna get away with something so dumb? You promised to give everything you had to managing the Alliance. You promised to help me become a full-fledged voice actress. I don’t see what this has got to do with any of that.”
“Everything.”
Iroha was right in that the promise we’d made was to work towards the Alliance’s success and save its members. I also promised to introduce Iroha to the colorful world of entertainment and help her to go out and spread her wings as the best actress she could be. I could see why she thought allowing her more space to be herself by finding people to accept her wasn’t a part of that—but she was wrong.
My mission wasn’t just to get every Alliance member a job at Honeyplace Works. It was to guide them to the happiest life they could live; to make that happiness a reality for them. Right now, that wasn’t where Iroha would end up after Mashiro, Ozu, and I had all graduated. I couldn’t allow for a future where Iroha was bored at school and had to keep hiding under her honor student mask like she’d always done at home, never able to be herself.
“As your director, this is the most efficient option available to me.”
“Fine. I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere by arguing anymore over this.” Iroha might have agreed with me on the surface, but she still didn’t accept my decision. That was what I got from her response. She probably had a conviction of her own she wasn’t willing to back down on. “I dunno why you’re so obsessed with this idea of yours, Senpai, but I know exactly what I have to do.” Her voice strengthened by resolve, Iroha thrust her finger under my nose. “I’m not gonna let this play out like you want it to. I’m done being annoying. I’m gonna become a new me!”
And with that, she turned on her heel. Just before going back through the door that led inside, she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me more magnificently than any grade schooler. Then, she disappeared through the door, slamming it behind her.
It was fine. I knew there was a risk Iroha might hate me temporarily for stopping her doing what she wanted. I just needed to keep on forging ahead, sticking strong to my belief that the path I was on was the right one.
I paused.
And then I was overcome with a sudden anxiety that Iroha might just have locked the door from the inside...
***
“Did she lock the door?”
“No. But to think she could’ve gotten really mad and locked me up there on the roof by myself... Isn’t that terrifying?”
“Lucky she’s not that yandere yet, then.”
“What do you mean, ‘yet’?! Should I be worried...?”
Interlude: Mashiro Enters the Ring
After school that day, I was in a hallway in the admin building. It was a little quieter than the main building with all the students buzzing about, preparing for the festival. Through the window I watched the sports clubs training, a perfect picture of what a typical youth should be.
I was giving it my all and working hard just like they were, I told myself as my thoughts drifted to Aki. Where did he go?
As soon as classes were done, he said he wanted to do some thinking by himself and disappeared somewhere. I tried to respect his wishes and go home, but I just kept seeing his brooding face in one corner of my mind, and in the end I wasn’t able to leave it alone. I felt like there was more space in my mind now, ever since the summer festival. I’d been able to observe Aki a little calmly since then, which led me to notice something.
It was like something was closing in on him, just a little bit. Or he’d lost sight of his surroundings by a tiny fraction. He reminded me a bit of myself when I got into a panic.
I just hope he doesn’t end up doing something weird...
I carried on walking, which was when a poster on a crowded noticeboard outside a classroom caught my eye.
“King and Queen Nevermore...”
They were the twin contests that everyone in our class had been getting so excited over. It was gross, voting on the worth of other students like that. A trashy event designed for dumb normies. That was what the old me would have thought while trying to stay away from it at all costs.
But things were different now, and for a split second I considered that it might be worth entering and trying to win, if only because I wanted Aki to see me as attractive just a little more. I thought about his opinion on the whole thing—and I realized he probably wouldn’t be interested at all.
Iroha-chan was going to be entering, though. That seemed to have given Aki some food for thought, so maybe I should pluck up the courage and enter after all.
I read the rest of the poster, which encouraged the reader to fill out one of the attached forms and bring it to the Nevermore Executive Committee.
“Ah, Tsukinomori-san?”
“Oh, hey, Tsukinomori.”
Two girls appeared from the classroom and called out to me. I didn’t really know anyone at school apart from the people in my class and the Alliance. I turned around to see that it was Sumire-sensei’s sister, Midori-san, and Otoi-san.
“H-Hello. What are you two doing here?”
“We’re on the Nevermore Executive Committee,” Midori-san said. “This classroom is where we’re based.”
“We’re done for the day, though, so we’re headin’ home.”
“You’re on the committee? Wow, Midori-san. If anyone’s up to the job, it’s you,” I said. “Y-You’re overreacting! It’s really nothing that amazing.”
“It is. It’s like you can do anything. You’re on the class committee, the student council...” “Well, you’re not exactly wrong...”
“Sounds like sayin’ no’s too hard for ya.”
“Stop that! You’re going to make people think they can use a little bit of flattery to get me to do anything!”
“They think that already,” Otoi-san said.
From a literary perspective and out of everyone I knew, Midori-san would be my top pick for brat taming in a doujinshi. Not that I was going to tell her that.
Whether from rage or embarrassment, Midori-san’s face was bright red. She turned to me to make an attempt at changing the subject.
“Tsukinomori-san! You were looking at that poster, weren’t you? Are you interested in competing for Queen Nevermore?”
“What? Oh, no. Not me.”
“Is that right? You’ve somehow been looking even prettier lately, so I thought you’d be an excellent candidate to get the audience going.”
“R-Really?” I said. “I-I heard Iroha-chan’s entering, though. I honestly don’t know if I’d stand a chance...”
“Aki’s enterin’ and all.”
“What?” I blinked at Otoi-san.
“He was here just now. Filled in an application and everythin’.”
“Wait, Otoi-san! I warned you about the applicants’ privacy. Have you ever heard of confidentiality?!” “Aw, quit bein’ so strict. Tsukinomori’d hear ’bout it eventually anyway, right?”
“If this were a business, the media would eat us alive for leaking confidential information!” “Yeah, but it’s school, so it’s cool.”
I didn’t hear a word of their exchange.
Aki had entered? Was he going for King Nevermore? He said he wasn’t interested when I’d asked him
in class, but what if he changed his mind when he heard Iroha-chan entered, because he wanted to dance with her? Wait, but that didn’t make any sense! He wouldn’t do that and leave me, his girlfriend, out of it. Unless that was why he wanted to think about things “alone” and asked me to go home ahead of him... “Oh, Aki’s not enterin’ King Nevermore.”
“Wait, did I say that out loud?” I said, coming back to my senses.
“You did, but you sounded much more like a high-speed typewriter than a human being, almost as though you were possessed. Are you all right, Tsukinomori-san?” Midori-san looked a little creeped out. “Oh, I’m fine! I just fall into a trance sometimes.” I let out a nervous laugh. I didn’t think most people would be fooled by that, but Midori-san might just be nice enough to let it slide. She seemed like the type to allow anything if you pushed it. “Anyway, what do you mean Aki’s not entering King Nevermore?” “What I said. He’s gonna dress up as a girl and enter Queen Nevermore,” Otoi-san said. “Huh?” I froze. Who wouldn’t? It didn’t make any sense. What was Aki thinking? Had he gone crazy or something? “Wait, is that even allowed?”
“’Snot in the rules at all. But our chair’s into it, so she gave him permission.”
“I am not into it! It’s about our school taking the initiative and setting an example for the next generation by clearly challenging society’s current gender roles!”
“I see. You’re into it.”
“Not you too, Tsukinomori-san!” Midori-san wailed, clinging to me.
She was definitely Shikibu’s sister.
Anyway, Aki as a girl...
There was no question it wouldn’t suit him. I liked his face, but I couldn’t say it was downright beautiful, so I wasn’t sure how to feel. But I did love him, and I couldn’t deny that I was interested in seeing a new side to him.
“I don’t get it, though. Why would he enter Queen Nevermore?”
“I dunno. He said somethin’ ’bout beatin’ Kohinata.”
“Beating Iroha-chan?”
Aki had been acting weird ever since we saw Iroha-chan saying she was going to enter while acting like Canary-san at lunch. Could this be some part of his plan to find her a friend she could be annoying around?
“He was sayin’ he could never win King Nevermore, but now he thinks he’s got a shot at winning Queen. It’s actually hilarious.”
“If Aki says he can win, I think he can.”
“Yeah, which is why I can’t wait to see what goes down. I swear life’s never borin’ when he’s around.” So Aki thought he could beat Iroha-chan in the Queen Nevermore contest. What sort of normal person would think they could take on the prettiest and most popular girl in her grade—if not the entire school? The idea should have been laughable. But not for Aki. There would definitely be some grounding behind his claim—I just knew it.
Wait a second. If Aki won Queen Nevermore, what would happen with the dance at the closing party? What if Ozu won King Nevermore, and he and Aki ended up dancing together?
“Mmgh...”
I felt a gloom in my chest.
It was obvious that there was no way Ozu was ever going to be competing with me for Aki’s romantic affection, but I couldn’t deny that the two had a special relationship. He already occupied a lot of Aki’s thoughts, and as Aki’s girlfriend, I wasn’t prepared to hand him an even bigger slice of the Aki pie. Unless...
“Can I ask you something, Midori-san?” I said.
“Hm? Of course.”
“If boys are allowed to enter dressed as girls...are girls allowed to enter dressed as boys?” Midori-san’s eyes widened, and it was a moment before she found her voice. “Excuse me?” It may have seemed absurd to her, but to me it was a perfectly logical conclusion: if Aki won the Queen
Nevermore contest and I wanted to dance with him, all I had to do was win King Nevermore. “’Course it’s allowed.”
“Otoi-san! We haven’t even discussed this yet!”
“We got no reason to say no, right? This is about gender roles or whatever, right? Then we gotta allow the reverse too.”
“I-Indeed. The precedent has been set, and since my preferences play no part in the decision making, that would be the correct conclusion.” Midori-san made her agreement clear.
It did look like Otoi-san had forced her into it a little, but right now I didn’t care whether Midori-san was a human doormat or not. The important thing was that I had my ticket to enter the King Nevermore contest.
If Aki were entering King Nevermore, there’d be no point in me doing this, but because he was entering Queen Nevermore, this was my only choice. And entering wasn’t the end of it; I had to make myself as attractive as possible, and win.
“So it’s decided. I’m gonna transform myself into a handsome boy.”
I poured all my determination into the information I scrawled over the form, and handed it over to Midori-san, who was left standing dumbfounded.