He was sitting out at the garden bench, lost in his own world.

I came out of the Clinic almost running and sat in the car.

As I looked at him for a second, our eyes met. It felt as if he was happy to see me but next second he put on his shades and came to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in amazement.

"Why? Don't you know what am I doing here? You brought me here and n.." I spit it out of hurt.

"Cut it Arpita you are getting very well what I meant, you supposed to be there, inside, with the doctor right now ... is there any complication?" He cut me short in a rude manner but when he said, "Is there any complication" my heart beat hard, did that mean he was concerned for me, our child, or he had fear for his beloved?

I looked at him puzzled on his question, he coughed a bit and asked again;
"Arpita, I am asking something why are you not there?" he asked leaning to my window.

"Because I don't want to kill my baby." I replied back in taunting manner.

"Stop it Arpita, why are you behaving like this, be reasonable, after our separation I don't want any link between us, Its good for you too. You can start a new life after me, but with a child you can't expect any angle for you to come and accept you with someone else's child."

He said it all in one go, this time it sounds like a concern.

I was amazed at his words. How can he think like that?

Does that mean he was worried for me after separation.. but why would he?
"What?" I said in amazement.

"Come on don't be a child Arpita, don't tell me you will not marry after this relation. I will start new life with my love and so will you, some day..." He took a short pause.

"Get out of car and go to doctor. I don't want any one to blame me for spoiling your life by making you pregnant and leave you good for nothing."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out, so that's what his concern all about his so called reputation.

"You have to think about it before..." I stopped between as I realized what I was about to say, "I said No, mean NO, I will not kill my baby, and you don't need to bother about us. Just do me one favor, drop me to your Home, because I will live there until you don't throw me out forcefully, its you who want to end this Marriage not me." I was crying and I think this time he didn't had any reply of my words.

We get back to home or I should say I get back home as he droped me at gate and left for Office or better to say "to meet his real Love". I was a real fool, who was finding love in all those lusty nights.

He never loved me, our baby was just a Mistake for him, I was nothing but a sex slave for him whom he used to satisfy his lust.

All these thoughts were making me sick, I feel disgusted with my own existence, my soul was feeling disgusted toward my own flesh.

I feel sick to enter that room where I find peace in his arms, the same bed seems like pyre to me, when I sit on it I can feel how a dead body must feel on its last bed its funeral pyre.

What an irony! I am talking about feelings of a dead body, may be because I was not more than that.

Suddenly a thought struck me "If I am not good than dead body why am I breathing, I should stop breathing too.

This foolish heart should stop beating now, after all it's this fool who thought that he loved me.

Yes ! I was thinking to end my life, because life without him was unimaginable for me.

I was searching the way to commit suicide. I thought to burn my self then I realized Sharad Kaka was also in the same home he might try to save me and what if he succeed in it.

I had to find the easiest and sure way for it.

I reached at the terrace of our so called Home, When I get close to boundary of terrace I had to delay my decision for some time as Kaka was in garden watering the plants. He saw me on terrace.

"Aree Arpita Bitiya what are you doing alone on terrace. Are you feeling well?" he asked with concern.

"Yes Kaka everything is fine, just thought to take some fresh air." I lied to him and started to wait for him to go inside the house.

Suddenly I heard a cry from neighbor's garden.
"Kaka what happened who is crying?" I asked Kaka when he was going to other side of garden.

"Nothing my child! Wait I am coming in a minute," he said and disappeared for few seconds in bushes, which was dividing our garden from neighbor's small garden.

When he returned he was carrying a young boy in his arms.

"Kaka who is he?" I asked Kaka.
"He is my nephew's son betiya, they left him for a day with me, they think I am alone here, but I told them once I get my Avdhesh babua's son I will be the happiest man on earth, he will be just like my Babua, loving, caring.." he was looking so happy while talking about our would be son, how happy he would be if I told him that his expectations were getting shape in me.

My eyes turn flooded, I pushed back my tears and asked him, "What if it s a girl?"

"Aree than its much better, she will be like you. Sweet, cute but let me tell you one thing, Avdhesh Babua loves girl child more than boy, you will not get chance to touch your baby if it will be a girl. He will take her with him everywhere,.."
He was laughing and enjoying his imaginations while I was crying badly on terrace hearing his laughter, but his words gave me new perspective to think.

How can I think to end my life when I am not alone, my baby is getting shape in my womb, breathing in me and it never mattered for me he loves me or not.

He never said that he loved me, I was always happy to love him from my side, it never affected me he loves me or not, my love was always enough for me to live in this relation and I will love him, I will love my baby, I will live for my baby, I can't let him go like this.

He have to stay with me, I don't care if he will have a mistress at office or anywhere in his life, but at home I am his wife, and my baby will be his baby, he will love him or her. I have to talk to him, I will tell him that it doesn't affect me what he do outside but at home he have to be mine and only mine".

I was confirm for what I want from him, I didn't want any promise of love or faithfulness, all I want a promise or word from him that he will stay with me.

I came back to our room; yes it was our room as for me all those nights which we spend here was symbol of my love and devotion to him.

And my baby was symbol of my love, His love, our love even for him it was just need of hour.(a tear rolled down my cheek, I wiped it as I thought that I would not cry now)

"I am waiting for you Avdhesh ji, my destiny depends on your one approval. You have to be agreed to stay with me. I will convince you no matter if I need to beg you for that.

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This is all for this update,
Thanks for giving your time...😊