sonicbrat - two moons

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He lets the brush glide through the canvas, cutting through the empty, and white space with a bold, strident black stroke. He exhales, a breath of frustration, frigidity, and contentment, as his painting had started out well. Just how he likes it. The paint was dense and heavy, as it rolls down the canvas in drips of black and onto the newspaper-based floor. He had learnt his lesson when he painted with oil; every single inch of the floor needed protection before the landlady kicks him out.

How would his painting turn out to look like today? Perhaps an abstract version of his self-portrait wasn't that easy.

He was silent, though fluent in the language of colors. The color-stained canvases had always explained his emotions. The old, worn out paintbrushes represented his passion; his love for speaking a language only few people understood.

His world was filled with abstractions; because everything that he had ever painted were abstracts themselves.

People's opinions seemed to differ when it comes to abstract art; to them, it looked like a heap of crooked lines, mismatched colors, and random blotches of paint, as if they held no artistic meaning at all.

But to Lee Jihoon, abstract art was an alternative for artists to tell their stories in their own unique way.

And, well, maybe this time he was telling his story. Jihoon's always proud to say that his art always represented a mixture of Jackson Pollock and also Mark Rothko, in which these abstract artists are well-known for their action painting and spiritual color abstraction. A little bit of Karel Appel too; who was famous for his Childish Spontaneous Abstraction, which was one of the hardest abstract paintings to define.

Childish Spontaneous Abstractions reminds Jihoon of a work he did when he was a child, though; this specific genre of abstract is called childish for a reason.

Jihoon had been scribbling on a piece of paper to vent out his frustration for years. Even since he was young. No, he didn't go through dark moments of childhood. No, his parents didn't do anything to him, they were amazing parents. It was just a skill that his father had thought him when he was a child.

When he was 12, he discovered he had synesthesia. It was truly a shocking discovery for both him and his family, since none of his family members had it before. Choromesthesia, if you asked Jihoon, was a blessing towards him, even if that meant having to see a psychologist or having one flaw inside of his brain.

It was a beautiful flaw, if you asked him. Jihoon could see sounds in colours, something that he uses to express his emotions with. It was his specialty. He would describe certain songs in colours that only he could see. Maybe that was just a Jihoon thing. Nobody could understand his paintings in terms of choice of colour. You can't expect him to blame on his synesthesia; artists should take it as a gift sometimes.

His parents didn't acknowledge his artistic skill; saying that he couldn't just randomly splatter paint onto a canvas to make a living. That was utter nonsense to them. He clearly remembered the day when he had a serious talk with both his parents, which almost turned out to be an argument over why art couldn't earn him a living.

Jihoon didn't listen to them, though. He wanted to do what he liked. Although he truly wished he did better in high school, studying just wasn't his thing. Neither a lawyer; which what his parents expected him to be.

When he locked himself up inside his room, a complex piece was created.

Jihoon named the piece chacun voit midi à sa porte, just like how the French saying goes. When his parents had disagreed with his career choice, that saying was what he told them. It meant everyone had their own way of doing things, and this was his way, his path, his choice. Its not like Jihoon's taken French before, he just picked the saying up from somewhere and held onto it ever since, waiting for the right moment to tell that to his parents.

He remembers waking up in the morning to the yelling of his mother as she complains about the stained floor and the ridiculous painting. What is this ridiculous thing? Even the colours are horrible, yet you call yourself an artist?

Jihoon pretended not to hear and got ready, silently leaving as he carries the canvas out of his house and into the car. He had signed up for an art exhibition, where fine art artists could display their works freely.

When people had seen his painting they gave looks of disapproval and shake their heads, truly confused at what the painting meant. Jihoon liked it when people seemed to be in that condition, though. He leaned against a wall and watched their reactions which were truly amusing. People who were trying to make out what his painting's message was.

Truthfully, abstract art doesn't have a specific meaning. The artist doesn't display it right there, unlike other genres of art. Abstractions make you wonder about why the artist used this certain style, this certain color, and the confusing strokes and splatters of paint. It makes you think. It all depends on you, who is looking at the painting.

Abstract art doesn't just sit there and screams this is me at first glance. It requires and open mind and if you observe it long enough, the painting might take you somewhere. There is no right or wrong in abstract art. And that is what makes abstract art beautiful.

Jihoon remembers when the judges who mastered in fine art looked at his painting, observing for a very long time. They had called his piece 'too complex' and that it was 'not suitable for display ' since Jihoon was the only one who understood the meaning of it. He disagreed, although he didn't say it out loud. The judges think Jihoon needed more practice and growth, saying that he needs to learn how to control and balance every aspect of his piece well so that it didn't look too overwhelming. It was true.

But that was Jihoon's personality. How could they ask him to change himself?

His piece was voted as the most unique creation, though, and from the money he won he had used it along with his savings to move out, finding an empty apartment that was decent enough for him to live in.

Jihoon thinks he's got a long way to go in art, which is what most people would probably think too if they saw Jihoon's abstract art at first glance. They think it looked ridiculous, but Jihoon couldn't blame them since not everybody understood abstract.

Some people can't see the story behind paintings, but they're visible, if you stare.

But it's alright, because I'm the only one who understands.

This is my story, anyway.

Jihoon dumps the brush inside the murky jar of water as he carries the canvas outside his balcony, allowing it to dry.

Seungkwan was already screeching trot songs as his daily warm up before he starts his vocal practice, and will once again gain complaints from their neighbors above and below him.

"Good morNING- oh hyung, is that a new piece?" Seungkwan questions, observing Jihoon putting down the new piece on top of all the other rejects. Seungkwan thinks the rejects doesn't even look like rejects. He's pretty sure that if he sold them to art dealers he wouldn't be as broke now. But Jihoon would probably kill him if he did that.

"Hyung, why don't you paint me some time? I could be your model." Seungkwan offers, leaning against the railings of his balcony that was almost connected to Jihoon's.

He's sketched men's anatomies before, believe me. And he doesn't want any sessions of those anymore, if only if it were possible. The artist rolls his eyes, "I have to go."

"Wait I didn't mean that I have to stay there naked for you to paint me-"

Jihoon slid his door close, locked it tight.

As he heaves a sigh, he gets ready for another gloomy day, or at least that was what today looked like; it's been raining a lot these days. Junhui would probably like this weather, a lot. Meanwhile Jihoon, it wasn't like he hated it, it just made his clothes wet and he didn't like having to drag an umbrella along with him.

Jihoon glances at the clock. He had about half an hour to get ready for his tutoring session. He doesn't tutor little kids; he's a little awkward around them. He teaches private piano lessons to teenagers who just started with the instrument, although it seems like quite a rare thing these days. But its a hundred times much more better than Jihoon losing his shit in front of an innocent kid.

His talent in music was the only thing his parents agreed to let him do. Although it wasn't his major, Jihoon still liked playing the piano once in a while. He liked listening to different pieces; it was one of the ways how he gains inspiration. He sees colors in the songs.

However, his parents still aren't over with persuading him to become a lawyer instead. It was ridiculous, really; he's already enrolled in a school yet they're still asking him to switch his major. Which would be extremely hard for Jihoon himself.

Do they really hate my art that much? Did I really disappoint them to that extent? Is art really not worth it?

Those thoughts have been lingering around his mind these days. What was the point of pursuing your dream if your parents don't like it? It doesn't seem much of a big deal to other people but Jihoon loved his parents so much, and he was thankful for them for bringing him up this way. He just wanted to repay them, but why with something they don't like?

People told him to follow his dreams. They'd rather pursue what they love instead of being forced to do as their parents say. Which is better, technically, but Jihoon just can't imagine himself distancing away from his parents just because of his dream.

"Chacun voit midi à sa porte, huh," Jihoon mumbles to himself, putting on his coat as he turns to leave.

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This chapter felt different, vvv different

I discovered pharrell had synesthesia and i was like wow?? he really was born for the music industry

anyway im very sorry if you didnt like this chapter i just needed a break from studying LOL

yknow sometimes i have these random thoughts about jihoon having synesthesia and what if that helped him a lot in the music industry djfrngjs

imagine him describing seventeen's songs in colours wow

OH AND BY THE WAY

when i went to japan there was this one building that suited my imagination in this story

ITS SO PRETTY

WHEN I SAW IT I WAS LIKE WOW YES EXACTLY THANK YOU JAPAN

ok i shall be off on another hiatus

yeets bye have a nice day

- cee