CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
THE DRUNKS

When they got to MeriTech, they became face to face with a burning MeriTech.

Five quickly ran towards the building with Jason hot on his heels, but before he could even attempt to jump in to do whatever he wanted to do, the building blew up, blasting Jason and Five back.

Five was the first to gain consciousness, and he quickly got to his feet and sprinted to where Jason--now back in his human form--and quickly checked for a pulse. When he found one, he sighed in relief and then slapped him, making him snap awake with a gasp, "Fire!"

He then looked at Five, checking for any visible injury and when he found none he looked around, the MeriTech was absolutely trashed, and with it, their hopes to find the owner of the eye.

—ᴥ︎—

The shocking explosion and the loss of one of their main leads prompted the two time-traveling assassins to go pick up Dolores and then hit the library with a drink or to or ten.

Jason wasn't one to drink cheap drinks, he had class and taste, but at the moment they couldn't find anything other than the cheap stuff, and so they needed more drinks to get thoroughly drunk.

Dolores tried to stop them --she's the responsible mannequin-- she told them to go hit the bars instead of a library --I didn't say she's wise, she just knows bars equal drinks-- but Five ignored her and headed to the nearest library.

The Argyle Public Library to be exact.

And that's how Diego and Luther found them.

"I love you," Jason drunkenly told Five, ignoring their audience.

Five slapped Jason lightly on the cheek, "No! Lies!"

"Truth! I swear on my Father's grave!"

"You don't have a dad!"

"I do!"

"No!"

"Shut up, you stupid Fuck...tard thing," Jason said and then slummed against Five, "I hate your stupid...your stupid thing."

"I need to figure out this equation, get off."

"It's hard!"

"It's five times two," Five squinted at the notebook in front of him, "Who wrote down thirty?"

"Dolores! I saw her! I swear!"

"Mhm, She's not that wrong, only off by a thousand or so-"

"Yes. Dolores, you're so stupid."

Dolores told them they're drunk as a kite and need to stop talking and embarrassing themselves.

"Nunya?" Luther asked when they finally stopped arguing or whatever that was.

"Hm?" Jason lifted his head and looked at Luther with confusion, "What?"

"Nunya Bisnes?"

Diego looked between the two confused, "What?"

"That's his name, he told me."

"Did you just assume my gender?" Jason shouted loudly, making Five winces, and the other two Hargreeves shush him, "Did you just shushed me? no one shushes me!"

"Shh," Five shushed him, "Too loud."

"Sorry, Honey-boo-bear."

Diego's face said 'disgust'.

Dolores rolled her eyes. Boys will be boys.

Luther picked up Five and Dolores, and Diego was left with Jason.

"Hi," Jason said dreamily once he was held bridal style in Diego's arms.

"Hi?"

"You have very pretty eyes."

Diego had no idea how 'Nunya' had seen his eyes, seeing as they were outside and it was dark, "Thanks?"

"No problem bro," Jason patted Diego's chest, "Woah! so many knives..."

Diego looked at Luther for help but then he was met with Five glaring at him, "Back off Diego!"

"Honey-boo!" Jason wailed dramatically, "He's trying to steal your man with those dreamy eyes of his!"

"No one steals my man! it's my man for a reason! Go get your own man!"

Diego and Luther looked at each other and quickened their pace, the sooner they dispose of these drunk lovers, the better.

Diego directed them towards his house, which was closer and more secure.

"You know what's funny?" Five asked.

"Hm?"

"We're going through puberty-."

"Ughhh."

"-Twice."

"Ughhh!!"

Luther and Diego decided to distract the two by telling them about the intruders who had attacked the academy last night.

"Hazel and Cha Cha?" Five asked making Jason groan.

"I Always hated that woman, I once worked with her, and let me tell you she doesn't know the definition of fun. I tried singing her the Spongebob F.U.N song but she threatened to shoot me in one of the eyes without killing me."

"Was that the time we were fighting over who's the best lover?" Five asked and clutched Dolores tightly to him.

"Yes, the one that I clearly won."

"No-"

"Anyways," Diego interrupted before they could start arguing again, "I need you to tell me, what do these Hazel and Cha Cha want?"

Five smiled at Diego and said nothing.

Diego looked down at the drunk boy in his arms, only to find him staring at the sky with a weird look on his face. He was clearly out of it and had no idea what was going on.

"We just want to protect you."

"Protect me? I don't need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people I've killed? How many people we've killed? No. I'm the four freaking horsemen. The apocalypse is coming," and then he threw up on Luther.

Diego looked at Jason alarmed, "If you do that to me, I will drop you-"

Jason patted Diego on his chest, "Don't worry bro, I would never," He looked thoughtful for a second, "Not on you anyways."

He then turned his head and threw up on the ground.

Diego sighed and closed his eyes, "Small mercies."

"Amen brother," Jason whispered, "Amen."

After that, the two drunks were mostly passed out. They would mumble something from time to time but fortunately, they didn't talk or argue. Much.

Luther and Diego laid them down on the knife throwing vigilante's bed and the two drunkies immediately cuddled.

"Funny," Diego told Luther as they both watched the boys, "If I didn't know they were such pricks I'd think they were adorable."

Diego then went to save his lady love and Klaus, and Luther stayed with them to... I don't know, watch over them as they sleep? chaperone to make sure they don't do anything naughty?

It didn't matter, They were passed out and too tired for anything.

It was nearly morning when the duo woke up and the first thing they saw was Luther's monkey face asking them about the apocalypse.

"My brain function'nt, ask Cinque about it."

"What?" Luther asked confused, "Cinque?"

"It means Five in Italian dumbass," Five rolled his eyes.

"Si, idiota," Jason stood up from the bed and stretched, "Imma go for a walk."

And then he left. Leaving a grumpy Five explaining the apocalypse to a still confused Luther.

When Jason came back, he came back with style.

"Sup hoes!" He said and kicked the door open, startling Five and Luther. He had a new pair of sunglasses on and two Starbucks drinks, "The cutie is back."

Five rolled his eyes and went to take the drink from Five when the door was opened again and this time a furious Diego walked in.

"You little shit," He said as he came closer, " Do you have any idea what you just did?"

He went to throw himself at Five but was stopped by Luther.

Jason positioned himself so he was standing between Five and Diego, his drinks safely on the table.

"No! Get your ape hands off of me!" Diego shouted furiously.

Luther held Diego tightly and lifted him, "I'll hold you as long as it takes you to calm down."

Diego took some deep breaths and then whispered, "Fine."

He was immediately let down by Luther, "Now, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Our brother and his friend have been really busy since they came back, they were in the middle of that shootout at Griddy's, and then at Gimble Brothers, after the guys in masks attacked the Academy, looking for them."

"None of which is any of your concern."

"It is now, they just killed my friend."

Jason dropped his stance but he still didn't move far away from Five.

"Who are they Five?" Luther asked.

"They work for my former employer. A woman called the handler. she sent them to stop us, and as soon as Diego's friend got in their way... fair game."

"And now they're my fair game. and imma see to it they pay."

"that would be a mistake, Diego, they've killed people far more dangerous than you."

"We'd see about that," And with that, Diego left.

"Former employer? what is it with you Five, and don't give me the it's none of your business crap."

"well, It's a long story."

Luther sat down, waiting for the story.

Jason sat down by Five's leg on the floor and listened as Five told Luther the story of how they went to work for the commission.

What tempted them to accept, was the prospect of leaving the apocalyptic time behind. Of returning to civilization, of them going back home.

So they became the assassins they had to become. biding their time until they could figure out the equation needed for Five to portal them back.

They told Luther about them breaking their Five-year contract, and opening the portal, and going back.

Five and Luther then had a talk about morals and killing people and there being no good guy and stuff.

But Jason was busy drinking his tall, half-caff, soy latte at 120 degrees.

Jason and Five went back to the academy, Five went to talk to Klaus and as much as Jason wanted to talk to his bestie, he decided to leave the two and instead went down to get a drink from Reginald's secret stash.

He also found Diego standing by the fallen chandelier with his bag looking awkward, "Hey stranger."

Diego looked at the boy who had spend most of the last night complimenting his eyes, "Hey, Nunya?"

"Mhm," Jason giggled and then skipped off to god knows where.

"Bye?" Diego said to his back and then shook his head before leaving.

When he came back to Five's room, he found the place covered in equations, "Woah there buddy! Starting without the certified genius?"

"If you're a certified anything, you're a certified idiot."

Jason gasped, "Amore Mio! You flatter me!"

Five rolled his eyes and continued writing stuff on his wall.

Jason went and sat down on his bed and started pointing out stuff to Five.

"That's a zero, not an eight."

"Eight."

"Zero."

"Eight."

"Zero-"

"What is all this?" Luther's voice startled the dog boy but not the time boy.

"It's a probability map."

"probability of what?"

"Of whose death can save the world," Five said calmly and then returned to his work, silently erasing the eight to write zero instead.

Luther looked at Jason and found him nodding in agreement.

"We've narrowed it down to four."

"Three."

"Four-"

Luther knowing that their arguments could last for god knows how long, jumped in, "Are you saying one of these four people causes the apocalypse?"

"No," Jason explained, "We're saying their death might prevent it."

"Oh," Some silence, "I'm not following."

FIve turned around and handed the chalk to Jason as he began to explain it to Luther, "Time is fickle, Luther. The slightest alteration in events can lead to massively different outcomes in the time continuum. The butterfly effect. So all I have to do is find the people with the greatest probability of impacting the timeline, wherever they may be, and kill them. Oh, yeah... " Five jumped down and opened his notebook.

"Melton Green," Luther read one of the three names—one of the names was scribbled out— on the wall, "Is he a terrorist or something?"

Five was writing the names down in the notebook, "I believe he is a gardener."

"You can't be serious, this is madness Five." Luther looked between FIve, the wall, and Jason.

Five took out the gun from under his bed.

"Wh-where did you get that?"

"Dad's room think he used it to shoot a rhinoceros. It's similar to the model I used at work. Nice shoulder fit and highly reliable,"Five started assembling the gun.

"But you can't—This guy Milton is just an innocent man."

"It's basic math. His death could potentially save the lives of billions. If I did nothing, he'd be dead in four days anyway. The apocalypse won't spare anyone."

"We don't do this kind of thing."

"We are not doing anything. I am."

"I can't let you go and kill innocent people. No matter how many lives you'll save."

"Well, good luck stopping me."

And then Luther did the unthinkable. One of the deadly sins. A crime against humanity, "You're not going anywhere."

He picked up Dolores —BY THE NECK— and dangled her outside the window.

Jason and Five acted immediately. Five pointed his gun at Luther and Jason got ready to shift any moment.

"Put... her... down," Five growled.

"Put the gun down. You're not killing anyone," Luther said, "I know she's important to you, so don't make me do this. It's either her or the gun. You decide."

He looked them in the eye before letting go of Dolores. Five portaled and saved her before Jason could even move.

"I can keep doin' this all day," Luther smiled with the gun in his hand, clearly pleased with himself.

He turned to look at Jason and found the boy with a very, very scary glare on his face, "I didn't like you much before but I tolerated you, But now? Now I'm planning on how to make your death look like an accident."

Luther would never admit it, but Nunya was really scary when he wanted to be.

He turned to look at Five, not wanting to look at the scary glare, "I know you're still a good person, Five."

Five sat down Dolores on the bed, carefully.

Luther continued, "Otherwise, you wouldn't have risked everything coming back here to save us all. But you're not on your own anymore."

Five took a deep breath, "There is one way. But it's just about impossible."

"More impossible than what brought you back here?"

Five looked at Jason who nodded, showing his support, and then looked back at Dolores.

—ᴥ︎—
[Amore Mio: my love in Italian]

Bonjour!
Good news, I finished my other umbrella book —I have to wait for season 3– so now i can focus more on this book and my other books!

[memes!]