CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
THE VODKA
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Five took The Handler's hand and with a woosh they were gone and time went back to normal.

That meant Hazel and Cha Cha finally hit the ground, the ice cream truck hit the two assassin's car, and Luther threw himself to his left.

Jason watched this scene with amusement.

"Five? Five!" Luther shouted and looked around, when he couldn't find him, he turned to the two assassins who were getting up and held the briefcase in front of him, "Come and get it," And when Cha Cha started running towards him he threw the briefcase far away from them.

Diego got out of the car with Klaus and Luther's help and started running towards Luther's car.

Hazel had gotten hold of the gun and started shooting at them only to find the gun without any bullet.

"Get in the car," Luther said and helped Diego to get in the backseat with Klaus, making Jason who was precisely sitting in the back to move to the front seat.

"Luther! Go! Go! Go!" Klaus shouted and looked behind him and saw Hazel and gave him the finger.

And they were off.

"Woah! That was awesome!" Jason and Klaus laughed and high-fived.

Diego held his injured shoulder and groaned.

"Where's Five?" Luther asked when they were far away from Hazel and Cha Cha.

"I'm not his keeper," Jason said as he rolled down the window, "I also don't have trackers on him," He stuck his head out the window and grinned.

Wind! Yay!

"Come back in, that's not safe," Luther said and poked his leg causing Jason to kick the offending hand, "You're not my dad!"

Klaus looked at him and rolled down the window and copied Jason. They grinned at each other from outside the car.

"You're a bad influence Nunya."

"Pffff, as if he wouldn't have done this anyways."

Diego looked at them and then kicked Luther's seat.

"Hey! Your bad influence even influenced Diego!"

Diego kicked harder, "No one influences me bitch."

Luther kept his mouth shut and silently disapproved.

Not that anyone cared about his approval.

Finally, after more kicking and sticking tounges out in the wind and swallowing a bug or two, they arrived at the Academy.

Jason left the gang and went to the bar, looking for some strong vodka to inhale.

"No, no, no, this is whiskey, disgostang, no, no- Aha!" Jason took out a bottle of Belvedere Vodka and opened it, forgoing glasses, and drank straight from the bottle.

"Nothing like some Vodka to-," He thought for a moment, "get the blood pumping? I don't know."

He went to the couch and threw himself on it, "Ah, finally some me time."

Jason looked around and sighed then drank some more vodka.

"Yay me time."

It wasn't long after that Luther called a family meeting and everyone came in the room, raising a brow at the grumpy boy with a bottle of vodka in his hand.

"Aren't you a bit too young to drink?" Luther asked.

"Who even are you?" Allison questioned, looking at the others like 'you know him?'.

"Aren't you too old to be a virgin?" Jason fired back getting a laugh from Klaus and a snort from Diego.

"He's my soul brother!" Klaus said and beamed at Jason and sat next to him.

Jason knew better than to offer Klaus his bottle, he was also very protective of his alcohol and he wouldn't even share it with his soul brother.

Luther sighed, "He's Nunya Bisnes."

Allison crossed her arms, "Excuse me? What do you mean he's none of my business?"

"No I meant-" Luther stopped and looked at Jason, "That's not your name, is it?"

"Nope."

Luther looked him in the eye and sighed once more. He was sighing a lot today.

"What's your name then?" Allison asked curiously.

Jason beamed at her and cleared his throat, "Jacopo Enzio Mainiero, but I go by Jason."

"Italian?" Klaus asked and threw his legs over Jason's lap.

"Mhm, Madre was making pasta when she gave birth to me, my first word was pasta, the first thing I did when I came out the womb was to to the Italian hand thingy," he pinched his fingers to demonstrate.

Klaus whistled, impressed, "Pure blooded Italian then."

"Si."

Luther looked between them confused, "What? no, we have more important things to discuss-"

"Are you saying I'm not important cause I'm Italian?"

"Shame on you Luther!"

Luther sighed again, "The world is ending in three days."

That sobered them up.

"What?" Allison said, "Three days?"

"That's what Five said."

"The old bastard did mention the apocalypse, come to think of it. He just left out the part about how soon."

"But can we trust him? I don't know if you've noticed, but Five's a little..." She whistled and pointed at her head, implying that Five is crazy.

Jason nodded and raised his bottle before drinking some more.

Diego side-eyed him.

"Our little psycho."

"He was pretty convincing," Luther defended Five, kinda, "If he wasn't trying to stop an apocalypse, those lunatics wouldn't be chasing him."

"That's why they were after him?" Diego asked and accepted the offered Coffee from Allison, god knows where she got it from.

Now that Jason was looking around, he noticed everyone had a cup in their hand. Everyone but him. He shrugged and took a sip from the bottle, He liked vodka more than coffee anyways.

"Yeah."

"What did Five even see?"

All eyes were on Luther, even Jason.

"Uh... Apparently, we all fought together against whoever was responsible."

Everyone kept staring, waiting to see what had happened —or will happen, time travel, am I right?

Luther looked at them, and they stared back.

"Okay. So, here's the plan. Uh, we go through Dad's research—" Luther continued as if the tense staring had never happened.

"Wait, what?"

"Hold on, hold on."

The Hargreeves all said together and Jason groaned at the volume.

"Wait a tick, wait a tick, wait a tick, What actually happened the first time around?" Klaus asked and they all stop talking, waiting to see what Luther would say next.

"Yeah. What are you not tellin' us?" Diego looked at Luther suspiciously, "Come on, big boy, spit it out."

Luther looked hesitant before he sighed, "We died," He said quietly and quickly took a sip from his coffee cup.

"What was that?" Allison asked.

"Y'all die," They all turned to Jason, "Like blekh, dead dead, Prince Philip dead."

"How do you know?" Luther questioned.

"I was there, I was with Five in the future, duh," Jason rolled his eyes and raised the bottle to his mouth.

The spell broke and they all started talking, asking how they died and why and who did it and all that stuff.

Jason ignored them and emptied the bottle in his mouth, then he stood up to go find another bottle.

It was around that time that Vanya came in with some stupid-looking guy.

"Hey, What's going on?" Vanya asked, silencing them and gaining their attention.

"It's a family matter," Allison said making Jason groan.

'Well done Allison! bravo!'

"Family matter, so, of course, you couldn't be bothered to include me," Vanya bitterly said.

"No it's not like that-" Luther tried to explain but was cut off.

"Jason is here, more family than me obviously," Jason bit back a grimace, "Don't let me interrupt."

She turned back to leave and Allison went towards her, "Vanya, wait, I'll fill you in later-"

"Please," Vanya said making Allison stop, "Please don't bother, and I won't either."

"Vanya that's not fair."

Jayson sighed and starting drowning himself in his new bottle of vodka, earing a weird look from the dude with Vanya.

"Fair?" Vanya chuckled with no humor, "There's nothing fair about being your sister. I have been left out of everything for as long as I can remember. And I used to think it was dad's fault but he's dead. So it turns out you're the assholes."

With that she turned and left, dude following behind her.

"Ouch," Klaus whispered.

Jason ignored them from there, Them talking about stupid stuff like apocalypse and ways to stop it, boring stuff when you can talk about vodka. Or even better, drink vodka.

He blocked them for some time and started thinking about Five.

What was he doing now? killing people and snooping around? did he miss Jason? Hopefully not, because how embarrassing. Jason couldn't be seen with such an embarrassing person. Missing their better half while on a mission to snoop around the commission? Nope, that's just ew.

"Wait, hold on, we all died fighting this thing the first time around, remember?"

Jason started paying attention, cause plot.

"Klaus shockingly has a point," Diego said making Jason drunkenly frown at him, "What gives us a win this time?"

At that exact moment, the lights started flickering and a moment later FIve appeared out of nowhere on the bar startling everyone but Jason.

"Jesus!" Allison shouted.

Diego had his knife ready with his good hand.

"Fiorello! Oh, how I didn't miss you!" Jason shouted and went towards the hunching figure of Five and awkwardly hugged him.

"Five where have you been?" Luther asked with no regard for the reunion happening in front of him.

Five tried to get down from the counter and stumbled, falling in Jason's waiting hands.

"Amore Mio, You good?" Jason said gently and helped Five to his feet. He quickly scanned Five from head to toe, making sure he was alright and not injured.

Five nodded and leaned against Jason for support.

"Who did this?" Luther once again interrupted the lovers.

"Irrelevant," Five took Allison's cup with his left hand and started drinking like a man who's gone a day without coffee.

"So the apocalypse is in three days," He said once he finished the coffee, "The only chance we have to save our world is, well, us."

"That's not very comforting," Jason mumbled and earned an elbow to his side.

"The Umbrella Academy."

"The Umbrella Academy plus one," Jason reminded them of his presence.

"Yeah, but with us obviously," Five said, "your sideshow acts together and get over yourselves, we're screwed. Who cares if Dad messed us up? Are we gonna let that define us? No. And to give us a fighting chance to see next week, I've come back with a lead," He took a piece of paper out of his pocket, "I know who's responsible for the apocalypse. This is who we have to stop."

Allison held out her hand and Five gave her the paper, she opened it, everyone gathered around her to see what was on the paper, "Harold Jenkins?"

"Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?"

They all looked at Five but he was busy drinking a cup that Jason had offered him after he had drained the last one.

—ᴥ︎—

Bonjour you lovely adorable people!

Sorry for the late update, last week I had a flight (not a fight I don't plan my fights I don't even have fights) so I couldn't write.

Yes, Jason is now Italian. When he first came to America with his mom, he started calling himself Jason knights because it was easier to blend in. His mom passed away from an illness months before he met Five (I'm making this up right now, yes, don't mind me) his real name as it was said earlier, is Jacopo Enzio Mainiero.

[no meme]
*sad face*

(Also I'm sorry if I've upset anyone about that prince Philip comment)