113 | Gooey Eyes & Farts

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WEIRD. It felt weird being in the driver's seat again after so long. I opened my eyes, feeling a warmth covering me like a toasty blanket. It took me a moment to realize that I was in someone's arms.

"You okay, Bet?" Sebastian kneeled on the floor in the icy water with me in his arms.

"I think so," I whispered, staring into his light blue eyes. They were so dark before like raging storms, but now they were light again. Bright.

Isn't he so dreamy? Huh? He sacrificed his life for us. What guy has helped us that much since we've been here? Jookie did admit the truth to the viewers, which technically saved us. And Khan did heal us when we almost died, and he helped us — Okay? Still — just go somewhere. You're not needed. Look. Why don't you like me? Because you're reckless and you try to kill without thinking. I already have Tini to look after, I don't need your trigger-happy ass too.

You know what? You're a mean person. What? You paint yourself as this nice person when you're not. Since I'm actually a nice person, I'll give you this hint. Layla's killer. Look into Fee.

And then I felt her retreat, guilt riding in my bones. She was dangerous. She had to be buried. I wasn't being mean — I was just trying to keep us alive.

"Bet?" Seb shook me, bringing my attention back to him.

I blinked. "I'm sorry. I just—"

"I understand," he said, cutting me off.

I glanced at him, seeing him in a new light. He did truly understand. He was like me. Tini couldn't face the truth about us — hey I barely understood our current dynamic and what was going on. Everything was happening so fast, but I couldn't let it get to me. I had to keep pushing forward to keep us all alive, even her.

But if Seb was like us, maybe he could help us. Maybe he could help us understand ourselves better. Plus, I was curious. What was it like for him? Did he switch like me? How did it happen? How many did he have? I had so many questions on the tip of my tongue that I forgot where we were for a moment.

"Bet?" Rucker asked.

"Yes?" I said, rushing out of Seb's arms and to the chair. I almost stumbled, but I kept myself up. My body felt incredibly weak. It was like something was sucking my energy away like a psychic leech. It must be Tini. She felt so far away and was a jumble of emotions, yet she also felt at peace for some reason.

Tini went through so much just now. And she went through even more while watching Rucker suffer. It brought up so many bad memories. Last time she was bad like this was when the ID special on our family came on. She was gone for a year. It wasn't until now that I realize how lonely it was without her.

Even though playing this game was shitty and we clashed and argued a lot, it was nice having her around. It was like having a sister. And now without her, it felt so weird. Lonely.

"Are you okay?" Rucker asked, rubbing his wrists.

"How'd you get out?" I asked, using the edge of the chair to keep myself upright.

Sebastian stood, holding a piece of metal. "Lock pick. I unhooked one and he did the rest while I came over to look after you."

Rucker held up the lockpick. "Imma keep this, pizza dough."

Sebastian sighed. "Even after I saved your life, you still can't call me by my first name?"

"Of course, I can, cheese—" Rucker caught himself and sighed. "Shit. This is gonna be harder than I thought."

Seb rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

"It's like part of my DNA now."

"To call me soft things?"

"Yeah, can't you just accept it?"

"No."

"I'll try." Rucker rubbed his head and looked at his hands. "Damn. I can't believe I'm alive. I thought I was a goner." He turned and pulled me into a hug, burying his face into my shoulder. "Thank you. Really. Thank you."

I clutched him back, tears forming in my eyes again. He was really alive — no we were alive. I really thought we were both gone back there. But here we were, together. I just wished Tini was here with us to enjoy it too. She deserved this happy ending.

"It was S-seb mostly," I said into his hair, sniffling.

Rucker pulled back, rubbing my head. "You too."

I smiled, feeling a happiness surge through all my stress. He was alive. I was alive. Our lives were a mess and would probably be even messier soon, but none of that mattered at this moment. I knew whatever Seb just did, messing with the game, making them cancel it, would come back to bite us in the butt later, but right now, it didn't matter. They couldn't take this moment from us. Yeah, they tried to kill us, but we survived, and no one could take that away from us.

I charged into Seb, embracing him. "Thank you."

He gave me an awkward smile. "I didn't do much."

I kept clutching him so tight that he gasped in surprise. "No. You did a lot, trust me. You did. Thank you so much." I laid my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "Really. We wouldn't be alive without you."

Seb gave me a sweet smile and kissed my forehead. "I didn't really do too much. It was mostly kind of dumb luck. If it wasn't for Jookie admitting to it all, they could've kept denying it. And you admitting the truth helped too."

That truth statement was like a hanging cow in the room. For both of us actually. We both revealed a truth about ourselves, and we have yet to get a reaction to it.

We both stared at Rucker who looked back at us in bewilderment. "What?"

"Umm, you're not going to address the... multiple thing?" I said, tone soft, praying that I was right. A part of me deep down believed that they wouldn't care. We went through so much together so far that I felt that we could accept anything about each other. But I could be wrong. Nothing was guaranteed.

"Oh, I don't care about that shit," Rucker said with a shrug. "I'll admit that I don't fucking understand it and you're gonna have to teach me, but you're my sister. Family doesn't abandon each other over stupid shit like that."

His answer brought more wetness to my eyes, making me wish Tini could've heard him say that. I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Rucker hugged me back but winced. "Bet, you're gonna have to ease up on the hugging. I have acid burns all over my body, and they hurt like a bitch."

I jumped back. "Sorry. I forgot."

"We should probably get back to the base so Khan can look both of you over," Seb said, walking over.

"Did Yaz and Khan know about your plan?" I asked.

"No — I kind of left angry before I could tell them," he said, looking embarrassed. "I kinda put a hole in the wall."

"Ah, buttercup, you were worried about me," Rucker said. "I'm touched."

"No, I was angry about Betinia kissing Jookie," Seb admitted.

Rucker turned to me. "When did that happen?"

"Uh during the break when they blocked us from seeing each other," I said, looking away. "That wasn't me though."

"Me either — he kind of slips out when he wants too," Seb said, scratching his head. "But I figured since Gmie made a deal, it had to be for ratings so I figured I could probably make one too."

"But you could've died," I said, looking at him.

He scratched his head, cheeks red. "Yeah well, I'm worthless at everything else, so might as well be useful somehow."

"You were very useful, muffin top," Rucker said.

"Sebastian," Seb said, glaring.

"Sure, ballsac—," Rucker stopped. "Sebastian." He said the name like we asked him to lick a rose bush with thorns. "Fuck that's hard."

"What made you think of that last part? When you told the viewers, you wouldn't die until they knew the truth," I said. "I know we used that argument before, but you were just so — captivating like you really were disappointed in the creators. Did you plan that speech or was that all him?"

"All him," Seb said, looking at the ground. "When they made the deal with me, they told me I'd be playing a game. That's the last thing I remember. I never heard the exact game. I actually didn't even plan on playing the game. I just planned on getting to you guys and getting in front of as many cameras as I could." Seb looked up at me, eyes shining. "I figured that since it worked with Layla's death. It could work again, especially since this was our second time bringing it up. Everyone knows the viewers are the most important thing. Without them, there'd be no game. Mess that up, and it's over. I didn't really have anything planned. I was just gonna wing it since we were under a time crunch. But I guess my alter had other plans and made it his own. Sorry, I can't explain it better, but my memories are a bit fuzzy on those details."

"So you don't remember flipping all over the place like a steroidal gymnast," Rucker said, eyes wide. "And saying all those weird words and fucking up Jookie?"

"I remember some of it. Bits and pieces."

Seb rubbed his ear like it was upsetting him to talk about this. "When he takes over, everything gets hazy."

So, he did experience some memory loss. Interesting, but I wouldn't push him to talk about it. I'd love to talk about it all day, but it wasn't my right to force him.

"Who'd you make the deal with?" I asked.

"Not sure — some blacked-out television," Seb said, staring at me. "After I was done being angry, I came to my senses and went looking for the cameramen to see if they could get me backstage to talk to someone — to pitch my idea about sacrificing myself for you two. I promised more ratings and a big plot twist. They wouldn't listen at first but then I got angry and started fighting one of them and then they took me backstage to talk to a black screen. I couldn't see anything, but I heard their voice. It was like that robotic voice that kept talking to Jookie."

Rucker chuckled. "I bet they regret making that deal now."

"Yeah, they're losing viewers at an alarming rate," I said, thinking it over. "Seventy percent in ten minutes? That's huge. No wonder they shut the game down. They have to do damage control ASAP."

Rucker stretched. "Trust me, they're not that worried. People with money like that always have a backup plan."

I turned to Seb again, not wanting to push him, but I was curious. Hopefully, he remembered. "Uh, why'd you call Jookie, Jojo? Did you meet him before too?"

Seb shook his head. "No. I think my alter just liked to annoy him. But my memories vary a lot so it's possible. Only Jookie holds those answers."

"For both of us," I said, realizing it. Jookie admitted that we met before, but where? How? When? Our only lead was her, and she didn't remember either, and I refused to let her take over to regain her memories. I didn't trust her, and we didn't even know if that would definitely work.

I was so into my thoughts until I heard Rucker wince again when he moved. "We should go. We need to get you checked out by Khan," I said, coming over to him.

"You too," Rucker said, hopping off the table. He stood for maybe a second before Seb and I had to catch him.
He tried to push us off, especially Seb, but I threatened to cry again, and he accepted our help.

It was nice having a big brother.

"How do we get out of here?' I asked with my hand around Rucker's waist while Seb held him up from around his back.

"I don't think that doorway works on this side," Seb said, looking toward the window. "We might have to go through the window."

We walked over there with Rucker limping between us. It was hard getting him through that window with his hurt body, but we did. Once he was settled between us again, we left through the door that the guards brought me through, coming to a dimly lit hallway.

The walls were made of olive-colored metal, the doors large rectangles framed in white. The yellow lights glowed down on us as we walked, adding to the gloominess of the silent atmosphere.

"Pantyhose," Rucker said between grunts.

"Sebastian," Seb said on a sigh.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Rucker said. "When I'm better, I want a rematch — with the other you."

"Rucker," I said, shaking my head.

"What?"

"That's rude," I said, clutching his middle tightly.

"Is it?"

"Yes," Seb said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, I'm not trying to offend," Rucker said and then looked at me. "Either of you."

"It's okay," Seb said, his hand brushing my back as we all walked together. "You didn't know."

We made it to the middle of the hallway, not knowing where we were going, when three armed guards bustled through the door on our right.

"We're escorting you back to the house," one of the guards said, stopping us. "And since the game is off at the moment, no leaving your rooms unless you're going to another contestant's room, the laundry room or the kitchen. No requesting anything, and no internet access either."

"What?" we all said in unison.

"No questions," the second guard gruffed out in a savage tone, nodding to a door on the left. "Go that way before I shoot you and say you attacked me."

"Dick," Rucker murmured as we all hobbled over to the door. The third guard opened the door and pushed us through it. We all tripped over each other's feet, tumbling into a hallway of the house.

My body crashed into the wall, the molding digging into my hip. I glanced up, seeing the wooden wall we came through slide back into place like nothing happened. That was another secret passageway.

"How are we going to live without requesting anything?" Seb asked, holding his head because he hit the side of a painting on the wall. "What about food?"

"Shit," Rucker said, touching his stomach. "They're gonna starve us."

"We'll be fine — at least for a while. Khan ordered extra food when we made the base," I said, standing and going over to Rucker. I was still running on adrenaline, and I could feel it fading little by little. My body was getting weaker, my vision getting a bit blurry. "Come on, guys. We need to move."

Seb got up, and we helped Rucker get to his feet. Once Rucker settled between us again, we began to walk down the familiar halls of our current home. It would never beat my real home with Tim and Angie, but it was nice to be back, and not in that watery pit anymore.

It took us about ten minutes to get near the base. We were down the hall from the base when loud yapping emerged. Duke. I smiled. We only went forward a few more feet when the door opened, and Duke bolted through like his tail was on fire.

He yipped and circled our legs, licking our ankles.

"Ah I missed you too, little buddy," Rucker said, trying to pet him with his foot.

"Holy shit!" Yaz peeked out the door, eyes wide. She ran toward us, knocking all of us down on the floor. Duke jumped on top, giving us all kisses.

Rucker groaned, holding his arm. "Damn it, Yaz. I have acid burns."

She glowered at him. "Well, sorry for being happy that you're not dead. I take it back."

"You can't take it back."

"Can so!"

"It's already in the air like a fart. It's forever now."

They argued back and forth as I laid there on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, still trying to come to grips that I was alive. That we were alive. Fresh water coated my eyes, making me blink a mile a minute.

Two caramel eyes broke through that blinking. Khan bent down on his knees next to me, gripping my hand. Upon closer inspection, I saw that those gooey eyes were lined with redness.

"Did you see the ending?" I asked, wondering if they knew my secret. If they knew, then all of this was okay.

"The footage got cut when you jumped on the chair with Rucker," Yaz said, voice soft. "We thought you were dead..." She trailed off and hugged me on the ground, sniffling. "You had me so worried."

Her words made the tears start to fall, making me hope that our relationship was strong enough to survive my secret. Neither of them knew. Rucker didn't care, but I had a different type of bond with him than I did with everyone else. It was possible that they would care, and I didn't want to lose either of them.

I pulled back from Yaz, seeing Khan. His eyes were getting redder by the second. That made me smile. "Were you worried about me?"

"Never." Khan gave me a genuine smile that I didn't see very often. I think it was only reserved for me sometimes. "I always knew you would make it back."

I felt my body start to give out, and I tumbled into his arms. He held me there, hugging me to him. "I wouldn't have made it without you. T-thank you," I said, feeling the blackness coming like a giant wave, my adrenaline gone. "T-take care of Rucker and Seb... please."

I blacked out in Khan's arms, feeling safe and happy. Even if Yaz or Khan left my life tomorrow, at least I had this moment to cherish forever.

♟♙♟

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