DREAMING. So many saturated pictures flipped through my head in an endless cycle. It was like going through a PowerPoint slideshow at 100mph, seeing so much but consuming nothing.

A familiar voice pierced through that cycle, waking me from my dizzy slumber. I blinked, sleepiness crusting the corners of my eyes, head feeling heavy. I was awake, but my body didn't want to move yet.

"Is she still out?" Rucker asked from somewhere around me.

"Yup," Yaz said.

"It's been four days," Sebastian said.

"I know," Khan said. "She just eats and goes right back to sleep."

"She bites too," Sebastian said in a worried tone. "I woke her up to give her a sandwich and she bit my finger."

"That's my sissy," Rucker said, proudly. "Tough as nails even while sleeping. I'm so proud."

"Proud that she bit my finger?" Sebastian said.

"Even while sleeping she knows you're soft, jelly donut," Rucker said.

"It's Sebastian," Seb said. "You said you'd try."

"I am — it's a fucking habit," Rucker said.

"Be quiet before you wake her," Yaz hissed. "She's had a very stressful time."

"That challenge took a lot out of her," Khan said, and I felt someone brush my head.

"Okay — what about me though? I almost died," Rucker said. "Why aren't you waiting on me hand and foot too?"

"I have been helping you, Mr. Bed Ridden," Yaz said. "I made you a sandwich."

"A ham sandwich," Rucker said. "With no cheese. People on death row get better. Where's the filet mignon? The risotto? I almost died people."

"We have no internet, remember?" Yaz said. "We can't request anything. And fuck off — risotto? What the hell's that?"

"It's a rice dish from northern Italy," Khan said. "It's easy to make."

"See? Get the cookin' Khan," Rucker said.

"It's not my night. It's Seb's," Khan said with a little humor in his voice.

"Oh, hell no," Rucker said in disgust.

"I told you I sucked at cooking," Sebastian said, angrily. "I'm trying though."

"Who can't make instant mac?" Rucker asked. "Children can make that."

"It's not my fault I burned it," Seb said.

"The cheese was black," Rucker said. "Black. How does that even happen?"

"I thought the box said sixty minutes," Seb said.

"Six minutes," Rucker almost shouted. "Six. Not sixty. Six. It should be common sense not to leave pasta in boiling water for sixty minutes."

"Rucker, stop," Yaz said. "Not everyone can cook."

"You're not much better Ms. Ham Sandwich," Rucker said. "Don't forget your famous peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Can't you make anything that doesn't involve two slices of bread?"

"Yeah, I can, but I'm not gonna go all out for you," Yaz said. "Only time I'm making a man a full-on meal is if he's giving me good dick and he's paying my bills and getting my nails and hair done. And his bitch ass still gonna work for it."

Khan and Seb burst out laughing.

"Ah what?" Rucker said. "I'm paying for a bitch's bills, hair and nails and she still not gonna make me a meal? Nah. For all that, I want a full meal and the pussy every night. Fucking anal if I want too."

"Just because you're paying their bills don't mean you own their pussy and ass," Yaz said.

"I'm not saying I own anything — I'm saying if I'm giving you the fucking world almost — you can make me a fucking meal," Rucker said. "Easter bunny. Khan. Say you agree with me?"

"Do you agree with him?" Yaz said. "Khan? Seb?"

"I'm gonna go read that macaroni box again," Seb said.

"My computers are beeping," Khan said. "I'm going to go see if the internet's back on."

"Don't let her bully y'all," Rucker said.

"Bully them? I'm asking if they agree with your sexist ideals," Yaz said.

"Sexist? It works both ways. If a girl out their hustlin', making money and buying her man all this shit, her man should be fucking cooking for her too," Rucker said. "You wanna have your cake and eat it too. You gonna end up alone, watch."

"Nah, I'll just get someone rich enough who doesn't need me to cook, we'll order out every night," Yaz said. "How about that?"

"With those toes of yours? One look and his dick will shrivel up and die," Rucker said. "They're fucking scary."

"Fuck you, Rucker," Yaz said, and I heard a loud smack.

"Ouch!" Rucker said. "It should be illegal to slap someone who's injured. You're mean."

"And it should be illegal to talk about someone else's toes!"

"When they look like a cross between yams and knuckles—" Rucker started. "Ouch — stop hitting me."

"Both of you stop. You're going to wake her," Seb whispered.

"She needs to wake up so I can yell at her for putting herself in danger," Rucker said. "She almost damn near killed herself."

"I put stitches in, she'll be fine," Khan said.

"And she hurt herself saving yo ass," Yaz said. "Be grateful."

"I am grateful," he said in a low tone. "A lot of people wouldn't have done that. Hell, I had best friends who wouldn't die with me."

"Well, now you do," Yaz said. "Aww are you getting emotional on me, Ruckie?"

"Yeah because those things you call toes brushed up against me and cut the shit out of me," Rucker said. "Khan, I think I need stitch — ouch! Woman!"

"I really hope they put the internet back on soon," Seb said, interrupting their fighting. "They could've at least let us keep cable."

"At least we have enough food for a couple months," Khan said. "If we ration correctly."

"Thank god for your hoarding skills," Yaz said.

"I call it being prepared," Khan said.

"Did you really need twenty packs of lemon Oreos?" Rucker said.

"The lemon kind are hard to find," Khan said.

"But did you need twenty? You didn't even get any other flavor," Rucker said. "It's like I'm eating an air freshener. You could've at least gotten original too."

"Double stuffed is the best," Yaz said.

"No, the dark chocolate and mint is the best," Sebastian said.

"How ya'll not gon say peanut butter?" Rucker said.

"Lemon conquers all," Khan said.

"Red Velvet's the best," I said, blinking, clearing the crust away before sitting up, body aching.

All their heads twirled to look at me. Rucker was in bed next to me, bandaged up like a mummy. Duke laid between us on his back, tongue out until he saw me get up, and he jumped into my lap, snuggling.

"You're awake," Yaz said, sitting on the bed in front of me.

"Yeah," I said, rubbing my eyes. "I can't believe it's been four days. It feels like I just went to sleep."

"Four long days," Rucker mumbled. "With no internet or cable."

"I bandaged your knuckles and the cuts on your thigh," Khan said, leaning forward in his computer chair. "And stitched up your side and butt."

"Why were you wearing three pairs of underwear?" Yaz asked.

"Ah it's a good luck thing," I said, looking down and petting Duke.

"You okay?" Sebastian asked, standing next to me. His bright blue eyes looked into mine like he could read me.

"Ah yeah," I said, looking around, mostly at Khan and Yaz. Did they know about me yet?

Rucker rubbed my head, looking over at me. "Why you sad for? We're alive, sissy." He put my head on his shoulder, and I felt tears come down my face. I was so tired of crying, but I was so happy to be with him — with everyone. I missed the laughing and the bickering and the fun times. But how long would that last?

"I know, but I just don't want it to end," I said, softly not looking at everyone. I told Tini everyone would accept us, but a part of me was still unsure. Saying and truly believing were two separate things.

I didn't want to lose them, but I could understand if they saw me as a threat now or crazy or unstable. I just hoped they didn't.

♟♙♟