Battle scars -33

A couple of weeks passed seemingly smooth but everyone knew better. This was the calm before the storm. Irene turned her head away from her work, the paper work the only real thing to do with the relaxation of things around them. She sighed as she flicked through another stack, dumping it in front of her and looking towards it with a fed up face. She grabbed the pen that she had chucked somewhere underneath the bomb sight called her desk before working her way through, her eyes casting towards the door every now and again praying for something interesting to happen. She looked around at the girls who all wore similar expressions of boredom, trudging through the mass amount of paper. She sighed slightly her eyes falling to her phone, the time 1:30 flashing back up at her. She leaned back slightly. Jackson was away on a mission, with the boys and some other soldiers they took for back up. She knew that it was Jin related and it made her heart panic all the more. She hasn't heard anything from him. No words of warning before he left, he just did. She couldn't fathom as to why or what happened now but she decided it was best not to hold it against him. He had been stressed constantly with matters concerning Jin. When she was off she had seen how on edge he was, the sleepless nights he endured as she lay asleep besides him. She would doze off whilst watching his eyes stay awake for the entirety of the night until she would awake in the morning to see him on the couch, papers and other work related stuff sprawled out on the coffee table in front of him, with him asleep in an awkward position that she was sure cramped his neck. She knew that deep down he was scared. Scared to close his eyes in fear that when he opened them she wouldn't be there; their sleeping arrangements had notably changed. Irene no longer joining the girls but choosing to stay by his side for as long as she could. It was a routine that they settled into and yet he still seemed to not achieve any peace from it. One night when he had fallen asleep next to her, her hand resting on his chest, he had shot up screaming her name. She had awoken in the same second, her hands reaching his shoulder and face as she asked him what was wrong. He said nothing. The sweat dripping from his forehead as he shoved the duvet off her and placing his hand on her stomach, checking for what she suspected he thought might have been blood, she felt his hands shake slightly as he did. Irene turning away to give him some water. Her heart cracking ever so slightly at his state. She forced him to lay back down, tucking herself securely in his embrace, with the words 'Get some rest. I'll be here in the morning.' It took him hours, Irene would know as she stayed awake besides him until he received the sleep he deserved and needed. She sighed turning over to the next page, ultimately she knew they had digressed. He was pushing her away for her so called safety believing he was what was hindering that. He had gone days, weeks even without communicating with her despite their promise of going through this together, this was now something else that now lay in ruins. She looked at her phone once again praying for some news about his whereabouts and still receiving nothing. She caught Wendy's eyes, the other girl watching her with a pained look for her plight. Irene offered her a smile and a blink of her eyes trying to prove that she was okay with what was going on. Both knowing that this was a lie. A lie that Irene was now struggling to tell. Irene avoided Wendy's gaze any further turning back to the work which was quickly ended with the entrance to the medical cube bursting open.

Her eyes widened as her and the girls stood. And there stood her husband. With Youngji in his arms, who held him for dear life. The girls looked to Irene who seemed to take a step back in defeat, Jackson now shouting for a doctor, the girls walked forward together rallying besides Irene as he continued to pay Youngji attention that she craved. Irene gulped. "Wends, suel can you take this.." they instantly nodded as Irene walked away, her eyes turning to see him covered in what she made out to be Youngji's blood. She collapsed back into her chair trying to drown out all the commotion in the background. She knew she should of separated her professional life from her personal life, she knew she should have but aside her difference and helped save this person but she couldn't. She sighed rubbing her temples as she heard Jackson roar for them to do more. A confused expression ghosting her features. He said she meant nothing to him. He said he had cut her off completely yet here he was acting like he cared. Her mind let out a bitter chuckle taunting her that she had been fooled once again and that the act was for her benefit. He was acting with her not Youngji. She felt her tears fall to the forefront of her eyes, as she turned away, Suelgi calling out to her. "Rene we need help..." she called desperately Irene, walking forward hesitantly. Jackson who hadn't looked her in the eyes for days stood blaring at her to save her life. He shouted at her, as the whole room fell to silence. She took the gloves from Joy and shoved Jackson out the way. "We get it your in love with this woman but move so we have the room to work." With the realisation of his words and actions his gaze softened. "Irene-" she ignored him, turning to check the vitals and so forth, her hands working and stabilising her quickly and efficiently. "Administrate about the base dose of morphine, breathing seems stable, heart rate as well. We need to get the bullets out, roll her to the surgery room I'll be there in a second." They nodded as Joy and Yeri rolled her out. Irene turning to Wendy and Suelgi. "Scrub in we can take a wound site each." They nodded as Irene ripped of her gloves and moved to tie up her hair. She felt a hand wrap around her forearm, Irene quickly wrenching out of the grip. "Get off me. You want me to save your girlfriend right?" Jackson let out a sigh as Irene walked away from him pushing the door open violently. He looked towards the boys who shook their heads in their direction leaving, Mark staying back for a moment. "I think your taking self sabotaging to hard. Everything you have done this month has been for her, pushing her away for her own safety no matter how hard you are burning to be with her, this mission was for her and with one wrong move you've destroyed it." Mark sighed, turning to leave Jackson to his own accords as he slipped down the wall one leg up in a ninety degree angle, and his eyes closed. He leaned his head back as he cursed himself, the tiredness in his features as he watched her through the screen, the same pain reflected in hers. His fists clenched, turning his head to the side.

Hours passed Irene walking out of the make shift OR, her eyes meeting Jackson's. She rolled her eyes walking briskly past him as he shot up after her. She was out the door before he could even begin, her ponytail moving furiously back and forth with her movements. He called after as she pretended to not hear him, his feet picking up the pace as he sprinted towards her grabbing onto her arm again. She moved quickly as if his touch burned her, her eyes flashing up angrily to meet his more timid ones. "I don't want to talk to you." She said seething silently. "Irene it's not what you think." "I said I don't want to talk." "Rene please." "Please what...listen to you? Now why the fuck should I do that. Do you understand how humiliating that was? You show up after days with another woman in your arms screaming and practically kicking for her to be saved like she's the love of your life. Oh wait that's the fact though isn't it...that's exactly what she is. Everything that we have fucking struggled to build ever since we got married has been destroyed in a heart beat once again because of the great Jackson Wang. Nice going." She threw back turning to walk again. "Rene please..." "Shut up!" She yelled. "Stop trying to get me back. I'm not yours Jackson I never was despite wearing the ring. What just happened in there proves that you were just pretending, it meant nothing." "You don't believe that Irene." She let out a bitter laugh. "Well I don't know what to believe. Everything you say, everything you do, it changes quicker than night and day. You make the promises and they fall apart in the next minute, you change for a couple of days and suddenly we are back where we started and then you question me as to why I don't open up to you. It's because your the king of mixed signals. You make me believe that I'm what you want, that you are serious about trying and then it takes you a split second to run back to her." "She was shot...Irene shes taken up a big part of my life." "Yet the other day you said she was nothing more than baseless sex." She chuckled, "You need to sought out your words because everything you say is a walking contradiction." "Will you let me finish." He finally shouted back at her. She rolled her eyes walking off, the two edging nearer to their temporary house. "She took the bullet for me. I can't live with the guilt Irene. Knowing that she would do that when I've only seen her as time pass, I was frustrated because of how toxic we both were, not because I'm in love with her. There was a time when I had no one but her. Before you entered my life, after Jennie I was in a bad place, she was there no matter how sadistic it was between us she loved me." Irene looked up at him as she opened the door. "Mark was definitely right about her...she has manipulated you." Jackson paused. Irene continuing. "After everything she had done to you, the cheating, playing with your fears and insecurities. Your still calling that love. If she loved anything it was two things Jackson; your money and what is in your pants. Not you." Jackson looked to the floor. "Well she wouldn't be the first to do that Irene." Irene opened up the cupboard fishing for some clothes. They remained silent for awhile. Irene moving to the book case to grab some text books to try and busy herself and distract herself from him. She heard him sigh, turning away. Irene reached up struggling to get what she needed, when she had finally got what she wanted, something else seemed to tumble down. The impact resounding as Jackson turned back around. Irene picked up the file a picture falling out. Her own face staring back up at her as Jackson's eyes widened. She looked up at him. "What is this?" She questioned quietly. "Irene I can explain." "Explain what!" She shouted. "How you have snooped into my past without asking me, without telling me." "Irene please." "With what right? Who the fuck gave you the right?" "Im your husband." He said. "Oh really? You have a funny way of showing that. I can't believe you. Why couldn't you just wait for me to tell you? Gosh Jackson." She rubbed her temples. "Maybe because you wouldn't tell me anything. I needed to know what was happening with you irene. Every time we made progress it seemed to get reversed and I couldn't understand the way you kept retreating. You wouldn't tell me why so I looked for the answers myself." Irene looked down at the photo, the haunting past that she had tried to run from staring her back in the face. "Have you ever thought that the reason I retreated back was because of you? What have you actually done to earn my trust? Every time we make progress, you tend to mess up the very next second which makes me question whether or not I can trust you. Newsflash Jackson this isn't something I can just come out with. It's far more complicated then what you or anyone else could make out of it. My demons are far more darker than what you could anticipate and I was waiting to see if you could handle it. I was waiting to see if you could hold the burden because I can't anymore. I'm so tired all of the time and I don't know what to do."  She hurled the picture to the floor, grabbing some things before moving to the door they had entered together. "Rene..." "I think we need some time apart." She spoke, her voice cracking as she turned away from him again leaving as he called out for her.

TBC

Authors note:
Hope you enjoy this one. It was a big one hahh. A lot of bombshells but this is just the beginning. Let me know what your thinking 🤔. Lots of love and best wishes to you all. Stay safe xx