TW: panic attacks, mentions of abuse and rape (wHOOPS)

Updated are going get less and less frequent, but I'll update every weekend for sure I promise.

Connor's P.O.V

I smiled to myself, letting go of Evan and Jared and walking away. From downstairs, I heard Heidi on the phone with someone. She sounded extremely worried and anxious, but I didn't want to confront her about it. Especially because she's not my mother. She's my friend's mother. But I still couldn't help but eavesdrop slightly on the conversation she was having. Her tone of voice was on edge, like she just had received the exact information of when her children were going to die. I peered my head slightly around the corner, seeing her fiddling with her fingers as she talked to the mysterious person.

"No! I-I already... he's caused enough damage in the family! You can't let him... no he can't come here! Evan, Brooke and Chloe have endured enough damage from that- that maniac! He can't just come and v-visit them after what he did!" What was she talking about? I was starting to get concerned. I listened more carefully. Was Evan in danger?

"You heard me the first... oh, you have no idea. Everyone in this house was almost killed by him. They never- Evan never even had a childhood! It was- was ruined! By that monster of a father." My eyes widened in surprise. Was that why Evan was crying in his sleep? Was that the reason that whenever I or Jared slept over, we'd hear screaming or crying coming from him? Was that why he flinched when I- oh my god...

Evan's P.O.V

I finally let go of Jared only to hear my mother sobbing from downstairs. I looked over the brunette's shoulder as he turned around, seeing my mother crying with her arms slumped over the kitchen counter and Connor peering around the corner at her, probably trying to figure out what was happening. I walked up behind him. "What's happening?" I asked, almost whispering. He turned to me with wide eyes, which only made me more concerned. "Y-your mother... she was..." he tried to speak, but his mouth only formed incoherent sentences.

Finally, he spoke correctly. "Your father..." I flinched at those words. "W-what about him?" I said defensively, crossing my arms. "S-she said something about... him c-coming for a 'visit'" he said, making air quotes with his fingers on the word 'visit'. I gasped quietly. Jared looked confused. "W-what's happening?" He asked quietly. My breathing became rigid as I stumbled backwards, falling into the arms of my shorter boyfriend. My vision clouded, everything becoming blurred. I fell to the ground, two blurry figures rushing to my side.

"I could just stab you." He said menacingly, a grim smile on his face as he looked down at me. "If I wanted to."

"Evan! Evan breathe with me. Everything will be alright, I promise." Jared said quickly and quietly.

"But honestly, I'd prefer to tie you to a chair and break your mind."

I tried to copy his techniques of breathing, almost managing to block the images of what my father did to me out of my head. Get out of my head.

Get out of my head.

"Can you do something for me?" I heard Connor ask quietly. I took a shaky breath and nodded quickly. "Breathe in for four seconds."

"You are a disgrace to this family."

"Breathe out for four seconds."

"You're lucky to be alive right now, kid."

"Good. Now in for five."

Leave. Leave. LEAVE.

"Out for five. You're doing great."

He continued this method of breathing. After a while, I just turned around and cried silently into my boyfriend's shirt. "You wanna talk about it a bit?" Jared asked quietly. I shook my head. He nodded, and whispered something to Connor. I felt the taller boy pick me up, and I snorted and laughed a bit. He giggled a bit too before laying me down on my bed. He sat down beside me, Jared doing the same. After a minute, I heard footsteps as one of them left the room, and another lifted up the blanket and pulled it over the both of us, obviously Jared, as he laid down beside me.

I felt his hand run through my blonde hair. I let out a small laugh. "I've wanted to do this for forever." I heard him say. "Same here." I turned around so I was facing the smaller boy, his hand still slightly moving through my hair. "I want huuugsss" I said, pouting slightly and slurring my words. He laughed and pulled me into a hug, his arms around my back and mine around his waist. He turned around so we were in a more comfortable position. "This okay?" He asked. I nodded. "...Can you answer me?" "Wait I forgot you can't see me- wait- yeah I'm good" he laughed a bit.

"You tired?" I asked quietly, yawning as if on cue. "Yeah. You realize it's only five am right?" I frowned. "I didn't mean to wake you guys, sorry-" "you apologize too much" "sorry- wait no-" he hit me slightly on the shoulder, but I could tell he was smiling. A few minutes later, his breathing evened out.

You're pathetic.

No. I'm a survivor.

You're weak.

That statement is false.

Ugh, your so gay.

I can admit to that.

There are still voices in my head. But at least they're not voices all around. He's gone. And if he comes back, he's going to pay for what he did to me and my sisters. And I can't forget my mother.

The day I almost jumped out of that tree before I found the treehouse, which is now burned to a crisp by means that nobody really knows, was not the first time I had to listen to screaming and shouting from my father, cries and pleads from my mother. I'd hear the same thing with my sisters as well. But my punishment was by far worse than what my sisters endured. Maybe it was because of how young they were at the time. Actually, that's exactly why.

But I won't let the past change the present. I have a boyfriend that I love, who's also one of my best friends, and a boy who is already my best friend even though I've only known him for a month. I have the best mother ever and the most understanding sisters.

I won't let what happened then happen again. Never.

Never.

1099 words

haha im cruel

i may or may not have abandoned a really important homework assignment but its okay because ive got... drumroll please...

D E C E I T ™

also ive been crying for the past hour over the fact that the entire RAB album is being deleted and i should sleep now but i don wanna. bye