disimmure (v.)

to liberate; to release from walls

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BY six o'clock, everyone had gone home. After working the whole day, we managed to get all the boxes and furniture inside. The only tasks left were unpacking the remaining ones, organizing the house, and shopping for new furniture.

"Char, dinner!" my mom shouted.

I jogged downstairs. "What are we having?"

"Pizza, Oreos, and wine." She set the leftover pizza box, a brand new package of Oreos, and a bottle of wine she got as a housewarming present on the island.

I snatched the wine bottle.

"None for you, missy." She pried the bottle from my hands and replaced it with a half-full bottle of party-sized Sprite.

The kitchen table wasn't put together yet, so we settled on the couch with our paper plates and cold pizza.

"Do you like the house?" she asked, taking a bite of her pizza.

"I think it's great. The size is nice for two people and we're pretty close to the beach. And close to Ben and Eli's houses, which is definitely a benefit."

"Good. I was afraid that you'd bite my head off for not being included in the decision."

I half-shrugged. "Eh, it's not that big of a deal. I'm moving out in August anyway."

"Don't remind me. I don't want my little girl to leave yet." She reached across the couch to give me a one-armed hug.

"I'm not so little," I protested, squirming out of her grasp.

"No, you're not," she sighed. "I just can't believe you're going to college in seven months. I could have sworn you were in kindergarten yesterday."

"We don't know if I'm going to college yet. I sorta have to get accepted first."

"Char, don't think like that. They're all gonna want you."

"Hopefully. We don't know."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You find out next week, right?"

"Four and a half days until Revere College and Copley University. I think there's another month until SGSU's decision, but some people have posted about their acceptances, so it might be sooner."

"It seems like Revere's your top school?"

"Yeah, I really wanna go there," I said, looking down at my plate.

"What do you like most about it? I wasn't all that impressed when we went last month."

I searched my brain, trying to come up with a reason that wasn't so Eli-centric. "Um, their journalism program is pretty good. It's not too far from here and the city's a good location."

"I smell a lie... SGSU has the best journalism program in the country and is in a city. I think it has something to do with a certain football player who committed to Revere..."

"Ben? Why would I follow him to school?" I asked innocently. "He's my best friend, but that would be stupid."

"Don't play dumb with me."

"Okay, fine. Eli was the reason I applied, but I do like the school. He's just a bonus. A teensy-weensy bonus, really."

Her piercing gaze saw right through me. "Would you go if he de-committed right this second?"

Fuck no. "Yes, I would. But that's not gonna happen, so it's a moot point," I argued.

She sighed and grabbed my hand, making me look into her brown eyes. "I know I've said to follow your heart—and your heart is clearly with that boy—but please don't give up opportunities to follow him."

I almost choked on my pizza. "H-how do you know I love him? I never said that."

"It's written all over your face whenever he's near. Your smile widens and happiness re-enters your eyes. Whenever someone says his name, you perk up like a dog seeing its owner for the first time in years... And before you start with some ridiculous excuse, you also told me. You practically told him after your surgery."

I shrieked, "What?!"

When I explicitly asked, Eli told me that I didn't profess my love. Did his lie mean that he didn't have feelings for me? If he felt the same way, he'd surely say it back.

My throat tightened as the walls seemed to close in on me.

Have all of my months of mooning over Eli been for nothing?

She nodded, blissfully unaware of my inner turmoil. "It was adorable, actually. When you woke up, they brought me in the room and you were rambling about how much you wanted Eli." Grinning, she grabbed her phone. "I took a video."

I buried my face in my hands. "Has anyone seen it?"

"No, I'm saving it for the wedding. Here."

She hit play before I could dispute the wedding comment.

"Charlotte, how are you doing?" the hygienist asked. "Feeling a little groggy?"

On screen, I gave a crooked thumbs up. "Gimme Ewi."

"Eli? Is that a person?" she whispered to someone out of frame.

I enthusiastically nodded, eyes growing wide. "Ewi Cameron! My Ewi! I luv him so much! Luv, luv, luv Ellie!"

"You love Eli now?" my mom's amused voice came from behind the phone.

"Yes! He's my moon. Hmm, I luv the moon too... Always have loved Ellie, but realized on Cwismas. He so cute and funny and strong and nice and cute and I luv him." The video zoomed in on the sudden panic on my face. "But don tell him! Issa secret. Nobody know yet. Shhh," I brought my pointed finger to my swollen lips. "Wait! Where's tonguey-tongue?" I poked my face in alarm. "Dentist Lady, you stole it!"

My mom and the hygienist laughed as I continued to poke and prod at my chipmunk cheeks.

"It's still there, Charlotte. You'll feel a little numb and woozy for the next few hours. How 'bout you go home and take a big nap?"

"Nap wit Ellie?" my eyes were full of stars as I looked directly into the camera.

"Yes, a nap with Ellie," my mom agreed. "I guess you can invite him over."

I clapped my hands together excitedly before a fierce scowl overtook my face. "Don tell him 'bout luv when he at home."

"I won't honey."

"Not 'nough. Gotta pink pwomise. Ellie and I luvs pink pwomises."

My mom chuckled. "I pink pwomise."

"You too." I pointed an accusing finger at the hygienist.

They intertwined their pinky fingers with mine.

"Tank you," I smiled, crimson dripping out of my mouth. "I wanna tell Ewi. But gotta make it special. He's a special boy and deserves special tings... Hey, Dentist Lady, did ya know dat Ewi luvs Oreos? He covers 'em in belly-jelly. When will my mouth able to eat smelly-belly-jelly Oreos? I luv 'em too, but not as much as Ewi. But dat's 'nother secret. He can't know dat I love 'em either."

My mom paused the video. "You talked for a few more minutes before we dragged you to the car. On the way out, you stopped and told the receptionists about Eli. They had a good laugh."

My cheeks flamed. So much for keeping it relatively secret.

"And nobody thought to tell me?" I had my follow-up appointment four days ago, and they acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"You said it was a secret," she shrugged. "You didn't say anything else, so I assumed you remembered."

"No, I don't!" I narrowed my eyes. "And you said I told Eli? What did I tell him? Better yet, who thought it was a good idea to invite him?"

"You did," she snorted, almost knocking over her glass of wine. "You stole your phone back and texted him before I could confiscate it. He showed up like twenty minutes later and you started rambling about a song. The love thing kinda slipped out, but I doubt he noticed. You weren't very coherent."

I sighed, hoping that was the case. I would rather leave Haven Beach for good than see his gorgeous face everyday if my feelings were truly unrequited.

The cracks in my delicate heart would worsen each day.

She chuckled. "Now that we've established how deep your love is, promise me this."

"It's not that deep."

"Y—"

"Okay, fine, it's deep," I grumbled before she could start with her 'don't you lie to me' speech.

"Char, promise me that you won't put yourself and your dreams second to his," she looked into my eyes. "He may be your moon, but you're the Earth. And does the Earth revolve around the moon? A resounding no. I don't want you to make him the center of your universe and miss out on life. Remember that the Earth can exist—and thrive—without the moon's presence."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Please do," she squeezed my hand. "I don't want you making the same mistakes I did. I put everything second to your father. My college education, my career, my dreams. It ended up ruining us and the rest of my relationships in life. I could never regret having you, but I regret many of those choices I made."

"Thank you," I whispered, close to bursting into tears. The thought of giving Eli up for my future was depressing. If I had it my way, I'd never leave his side. "It's just hard to do, though. I don't want to lose him. And we're not even together! I shouldn't be this obsessed about a boy who is nothing more than a friend!" I pulled at my hair in frustration.

"Have you tried telling him how you feel?" she asked gently.

"No," I said shamefully. "I'm worried that he'll reject me."

"You really think that boy would reject you?"

"Yes? No? I don't know."

He friend-zoned me a few times. Would that be classified as a rejection?

"He won't, but you'll never know unless you shoot your shot."

"Ugh, not you too. I already get a ton of flack from the girls."

"Well, they're right. Do something now, or you'll never get around to it."

I sighed, "Enough about me. How are you doing now that the divorce is over?"

She drew out a long breath. "I feel a million pounds lighter and ten years younger. It's cliché, but very true. I just hope he doesn't come back."

"No, he won't," I reassured her. "There's nothing left for him here. The optimist in me likes to think he's thirty-nine and finally growing up. Deep down, he knows we're too good for him and it's best to leave us alone."

She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "When did you become so wise?"

"I dunno," I shrugged. "It's hard to pinpoint an exact moment."

"No, it's quite simple; it's because you fell in love. Because of Eli, because of Haven Beach, and because of everyone in this town."

"Stop, you're so dramatic."

"Hey, you'll miss my cheesy words of wisdom when you're off at college and taking the world by storm."

"Yeah. I guess I will."

"Well, it's a good thing that you have seven more months left," she said, ruffling my hair.

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A/N: Thanks for reading chapter 31! Please vote and comment if you haven't already! 💚

Also, I'm just realizing that this seems like the end of the book. I promise it's not the end! This was just the end of the chapter about the divorce. And when one door closes, another one opens to a brand! new! chapter! (Hint: it might be about embracing love) 😉

We still have 17 more chapters to go. Buckle up, it'll be a wild ride!

QOTC: What is your favorite planet in our solar system? Also, are you into astrology?

My Answer: Saturn 🪐 because I think the name and the rings are really pretty. I don't really believe in astrology, but it seems interesting. All I know is that I'm a Capricorn.