dolent (adj.)

full of sorrow

* * *

ON the day I was supposed to hear back from Revere and Copley, I woke up at four am. I knew it wasn't realistic for them to send out acceptances in the middle of the night, but I couldn't sleep knowing that there was a chance.

Spoiler alert: there wasn't an email.

I sat in front of my computer for an eternity, hitting refresh every few minutes and waiting to hear some news.

My mom barged into my room, startling me, "Charlotte, you need to go soon."

"What?" I croaked, voice scratchy from disuse.

I hit refresh again.

Nothing.

"School starts in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes?" I had been watching my computer for three hours?

"Yes, it's five past. How long have you been up?"

"Since three," I mumbled, hitting refresh once again.

She shut my laptop and shoved it into my backpack. "You'd better get going. I won't call in sick for you."

I begrudgingly stood up and followed her downstairs. Glancing at myself in the mirror on the way down, I realized that I looked like an absolute mess. My hair wasn't brushed, I had eye bags the size of quarters, and was I still wearing the hoodie I stole from Eli and the sweatpants I slept in.

"I should get changed. I can't go to school looking like this," I gestured at the ketchup stain on my pants.

"Charlotte," she warned, dangling my keys in my face. "You'll get a detention if you're late a third time this month."

I slipped my shoes on. "Alright, I'm going." Who cares if I got a detention anyway? Ben got them bi-weekly and still got into college.

Ten minutes later, I made it to Calculus right as the late bell rang. It was a miracle, really. The traffic by the school was usually terrible in the morning, and I just happened to luck out.

"What happened?" Delaney grimaced, eyes sweeping over me.

"Been up since four," I mumbled. She held out her ice coffee, which I gratefully gulped.

"And why have you been up since four?" Aubrey asked.

My legs started bouncing at the thought of the unsent emails. "Revere and Copley decisions are out today. Couldn't sleep."

"Did you get anything yet?" Delaney asked hesitantly, subtly glancing at Aubrey.

"No."

Aubrey and Delaney shared a panicked look.

"What?" I grumbled.

They had some sort of telepathic argument, eyes widening and frantically gesturing back and forth.

"Um, I already heard back from Copley," Aubrey sighed after a stale moment.

Adrenaline kicking in, I shot up in my seat. "Seriously? When? What did that say? Good news? Bad news?

"Yeah. I got in." Being accepted into her dream school was an amazing thing, but it looked physically painful for her to tell me.

"I'm really happy for you, but fuck," I sighed, resting my forehead on the desk, "they probably rejected me."

"Have you checked again?" Delaney asked. "Maybe your email just didn't go through at the same time."

I shrugged. "I don't want to check and find my rejection now."

"Do you want us to?"

I silently reached into my backpack and placed my laptop in front of Aubrey. Running my fingers through my matted hair, I waited as they checked my email.

"Nothing yet. Not even in spam," Delaney said after a few minutes.

"That's not a bad sign," Aubrey said, ever the optimist.

"But it's not a good sign either. What if they already sent out the acceptances? They're probably waiting to release the rejections."

I took their silence as agreement.

I vigorously rubbed my temples. "Can you guys just distract me or something? I just... can't do this today," I motioned to the differential equations Mrs. Thomas was writing on the whiteboard.

"Of course," Aubrey lowered her voice after being shushed by the boy in front of us. "D, why don't you tell us about your date?"

"Er, sure." Delaney turned to me, "So, Lor's on the figure skating team and wanted to teach me how to skate. She brought me to the rink during free-skate. It was really fun. Hard at first, but fun once I got the hang of it."

"What else did you guys do?"

"We went to Mo's for milkshakes and fries then walked up and down Main Street."

"Sounds like fun," I mumbled.

"Yeah, it was," a small smile played at her lips. "I think we're heading into Boston next weekend to see the new exhibit at the Children's Museum."

"You'll have to let me know how it is," Aubrey chimed in. "Annie, Autumn, and Alivia have been begging me to take them. But the twins are grounded until they turn eighteen. Maybe I'll just take Annie."

"What'd they do now?" Almost every week, Aubrey had a brand new story about whatever trouble her siblings had gotten into. Just a few days prior, her brother, Andrew, almost got arrested for doing a naked polar plunge at Old Haven Beach.

The part of the beach he swam at was visible from the road; everyone driving down Main Street during rush hour got an unwanted glimpse of him running into the water stark naked. Apparently the Haven Beach Mom's Facebook group was ranting about how disrespectful it was of him.

Aubrey sighed, "Andrew showed them some new YouTube channel he's been watching. The channel gave the twins the splendid idea of starting a business at school. Apparently, it was illegal and they're in a ton of trouble."

"What kinda business?" Delaney asked.

"They're charging $10 to do people's homework, but they're disguising it as a tutoring service. To make matters worse, they recruited a bunch of their friends, who recruited their friends, who recruited even more people. It's turning into a whole pyramid scheme. I bet they don't even know what a pyramid scheme is."

I snorted, causing Aubrey to look at me in annoyance."Sorry, it's just really funny... They're twelve and already are masterminds and getting into illegal activity. What's next? A drug cartel?"

"I hope not. They're making my life so fucking difficult now, I don't think I can handle them on drugs," she cringed at the thought. "My dad hasn't been home for weeks, so I had to forge their disciplinary forms. My ass is on the line too if they get busted again. And according to my spy, they're still running it on the DL."

"Who's the spy?"

"Annie. She sings like a canary when bribed with cupcakes. I currently owe her three dozen red velvet ones by six pm. All of them need to be perfectly decorated with rainbow sprinkles and hot pink frosting or she'll snitch on me."

"Yikes."

"Just the tip of the iceberg at the LeBlanc house," she sighed. "Enough about my idiots, tell us more about next weekend, D."

"Yeah, uh, her parents are taking us into Boston. I guess I'm a little nervous about meeting them. I haven't really made it to this stage yet."

"You'll be fine. Everyone loves you," I said.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm more worried about her wanting to meet my parents, though."

"Why's that?" Aubrey asked.

Delaney gnawed at her thumb. "I tried bringing up the topic of being bisexual to my mom, and she dismissed it completely, saying there's no such thing as being bi. I'm afraid that finding out and knowing that I'm dating a girl will be the last straw for them. I mean, you know how my mom can be. Plus, they're already pissed at me for not wanting to do pre-med in college."

"Well, you can always come to my house if something happens," I announced. "But, I think everything will work out. You don't have to tell them right now. Do it whenever you're ready. And if Lorelei doesn't understand, that's on her."

Delaney smiled weakly. "Thanks."

* * *

For the next few classes, I was a nervous wreck and overly irritable. It was like I was walking around with a pebble in my shoe. Everything annoyed me, from the slow walking freshmen to dropping my phone in the middle of the hallway.

I was also sweating profusely and couldn't stop my leg from bouncing. With each passing class, it just got worse as my classmates rejoiced over their acceptances to various schools. I hadn't received anything, except for email notifications that my teachers had graded assignments.

I couldn't even find it in myself to be happy that I didn't fail my Calc midterm.

Eli's worried eyes flew to me as soon as he walked into Environmental Science fourth period. "Are you okay?"

"No," I said, desperately trying to keep my voice steady. Eli was the last person I wanted to cry in front of.

"Would a coffee make it better?" he asked, sliding a large iced coffee my way.

"Thank you." I gulped half of it in two sips.

His gaze flitted over my body and zeroed in on my shaking legs. "Maybe I shouldn't have given you caffeine." He tried to take it back, but I refused to let go of the cup.

"Don't care. Been up since four." I finished the rest of the drink.

"I'm guessing you haven't heard anything?" he asked slowly, as if being too direct would make me scream at him—in all honesty, it probably would have.

I shook my head dejectedly.

He cursed under his breath. "Is there anything I could do? I don't like seeing you this sad."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I subtly wiped them away with my sleeve.

His eyes tracked my movements and focused on the design on my—his—hoodie. "Is that my sweatshirt?"

"No," I lied, hugging myself to cover the design.

He grinned. "Yes it is."

"Okay, it's yours. Do you want it back?"

"No!" He exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. Clearing his throat, he said, "No, I like you in my clothes. Keep it. You look pretty."

Good. I wasn't wearing anything under it. Not even a bra.

My face flushed. "Uh, thanks."

"Mr. Cameron, if you're done flirting with your girlfriend, I'd like to start my class," Mr. Dick boomed.

"We're not- We, uh," Eli stammered.

"Sure," Mr. Dick drawled. "So, class, who can tell me what environmental justice is?"

* * *

Eli stuck to me like glue for the rest of the day. Literally. He only left my side when I went to the bathroom during lunch. Although, he stood right outside the door, babbling loudly about football, so it didn't really count.

When we got to Photography last period, we found out that we had a substitute. I was immensely relieved because all of the stressing was getting exhausting.

All I wanted to do was take a nap, and having a sub gave me the perfect opportunity to do so.

With Eli as my faithful watchdog, I rested my head on the table and dozed off.

When I woke twenty minutes later, I found the hoodie he was previously wearing bunched up under my head, acting as a pillow.

"Hey sleepyhead," he whispered, continuing to toy with my hair.

"Hey," I rasped. I sat up and scrambled for my computer.

I had two unread emails. One from Copley University and one from Revere College.

Schooling my face, I shifted my screen out of his line of sight. I nervously bit my lip and opened the Copley one.

Accepted.

Swallowing the urge to celebrate, I opened a new tab and clicked on the Revere email.

Waitlisted.

Well, that's not exactly a rejection...

"Anything?" Eli asked, craning his neck to see my screen.

I quickly marked the Revere email as unread and reopened the Copley one. "Yeah. I got into Copley."

"You got in?"

"I got in," I grinned, showing him my screen.

He stood up. "Charlotte got in! C'mon guys, let's hear it!"

A few people looked curiously and started clapping.

I tugged on his shirt to get him to sit down. "Eli you're embarrassing me."

"Sorry—" he didn't sound the least bit apologetic "—but I'm just so proud of you." His arms squeezed me into a hug. "Anything from Revere?" The hope in his voice was heartbreaking.

I put my fakest, brightest smile on. "Nope, not yet."

I didn't want to ruin the moment. He was so happy, news of me getting waitlisted would crush him.

"Well, this calls for milkshakes. My treat," he said, tugging me into another embrace.

"Okay," I mumbled into his chest.

Telling him about being waitlisted could just be added onto the growing list of things to talk to him about—right under the l-bomb, of course.

Maybe I could tell him both at the same time. At least it would soften the blow—hopefully.

* * *

A/N: thanks for reading chapter 32! Please leave a vote and comment to help boost my book! 💚

QOTC: Who is your favorite character in this book so far? Also, which one do you resonate with most?

My Answer: Ben is 100% my fav. He's the most fun to write.
I don't really relate deeply to any of the characters. (I'm trying to avoid projecting myself onto them, so I purposely created a little distance—not sure if this is a bad thing, but I think it's working???)