Take a look at the law man
Beating up the wrong guy
Is there life ... ?

David Bowie

"I'm what?!" shouts Julian. 

Only it's like those dreams where you try to scream for help, but nothing comes out except a voiceless whimper. Nobody hears. 

The Council of Waystation Residents begin murmuring amongst themselves. Noel's face is a silent white streak of shock as Jeannie puts her arm around him.

"Mr Hoffman, I am fast losing patience with your assessment room theatrics," says Chief Justice Dharmayama, leaning over his desk. "How do you explain your client's presence here if he is still alive?"

"It was Mary who first alerted me to the possibility that there was something wrong," Marcus says. "Mr Pettifer never made a full recovery while at the House of Healing, and she felt that ... well, that a more thorough examination should have taken place."

"Healer Gideon, is this correct?" the judge asks, turning to Mary Gideon in the gallery.

"Yes, Your Honour," Mary answers. "My patient, Mr Pettifer, made what appeared to be unusually good progress after arriving here in a coma. However, he continued to feel fatigued, and I was not quite happy with releasing him."

"You shared your concerns with the Head Healer?"

"Yes, I did," Mary says with a grimace, "but Healer Bainbridge believed Mr Pettifer was more likely to make a full recovery if he went out and led a normal Afterlife."

"Perhaps Healer Bainbridge should have looked into this case more closely," the judge frowns. "Healer Gideon, did you ever suggest to anyone that you suspected Mr Pettifer may be alive?"

"Not in any official capacity," Mary admits. "I did tell Marcus ... I mean, Mr Hoffman, that I thought there was something not quite right about Mr Pettifer's case. As his Healer, it weighed on my mind, and I shared my doubts and worries with my soulmate ... that is, with Mr Hoffman."

"Very natural to do so," the judge says. "Now, Mr Hoffman, was there anything else about Mr Pettifer that made you think a mistake may have occurred somewhere?"

Marcus thinks for a moment. 

"From my own observations, only that he seemed more anxious and evasive than is usual with a new arrival. But I attributed that to the difficult way Mr Pettifer had seemingly died," he said. "Of course, I took Mary ... I mean, of course I took Healer Gideon's concerns seriously. And only this morning I learned there had been an issue for Mr Pettifer at the Hall of Mirrors."

"Yes, I'm looking at Ms Meister's report now," the judge says absently, flipping through it with the nonchalance of a speed reader. "But Mr Hoffman, if your client is still alive, as you claim, how could he ever have been brought here?"

"I wondered that too, Your Honour," Marcus says. "It was my assistant, Ms Garcia, who was able to track down where the mistake occurred. It seems that the records for my client, Julian Barratt Pettifer, known professionally as Julian Barratt, were confused with those of another man, Julian Peter Barratt."

"That is preposterous," the judge says, nonetheless sounding uneasy. "The error would surely have been discovered at once."

"It would have been, normally," Marcus says, "except for a few other coincidences. Both men were born in Leeds – my client Mr Pettifer in Leeds, Yorkshire, while Julian Barratt was born in Leeds, Kent – and they lived in the same city. 

"My client's birth date is the 4th of May 1968, while Julian Barratt's is the 5th of April, 1968. Ms Garcia tells me that in some locales, the month is shown first when writing down the date, so that 5/4/1968 was understood by a clerk as May 4th, rather than April 5th."

"That is sloppy record keeping, if so, and I shall make a recommendation to Mr Fossil in the Records Office that there be a full investigation," the judge says angrily. "Who collected Mr Pettifer to bring him here?"

"I did, Yer Honour," Phil the taxi driver confesses from the gallery. "I feel like a right flapjack, but I must've picked up the wrong geezer. The instructions said to get Julian Barratt what's in a coma from drowning at this hospital, so I did what I thought was right, Yer Honour. Only, it were wrong."

"You see, another coincidence is that both men, both my client and Julian Barratt, were in a coma at the same hospital after a drowning," Marcus says.

"This is ... this is insane!" Julian finally manages to get out. "How many people were throwing themselves into the bloody lake that night?"

"Oh, Julian Barratt wasn't in the lake," Marcus informs him. "He slipped in the bath and hit his head, falling to unconsciousness under the water. It was a complete accident."

"So where is this other young man, this Julian Barratt, then?" the judge demands.

"He's where Mr Pettifer is supposed to be - still in a coma, Your Honour," Marcus says. 

"You're telling me that the unfortunate soul has been left trapped in a coma instead of being allowed to pass over peacefully?" the judge says indignantly. "Then for the sake of all that's holy, let his suffering end now! Phil, er, I mean, Professor Denn, can you please go at once to bring Julian Barratt to his House of Healing?"

"Will do, squire," Phil says, getting up. "I mean, Yer Honour. Me taxi's just outside, and I'll have the poor feller here in a jiffy."

Everyone watches as he quickly kisses Pauline goodbye before climbing out of the gallery and ascending the stairs to the double doors.

"But what's going to happen to me?" Julian cries.

"Ah, Mr Pettifer," the judge says thoughtfully. "I understand this must be very confusing and upsetting for you, but ask that you bear with me while I look into this regrettable situation further. I must be absolutely sure of your status, you understand. We can't afford any more mistakes."

The judge studies all the records that Marcus has given him, before asking, "Healer Gideon, can you explain to this assessment room how it might be physically possible for a living person to exist in the Afterlife?"

"I can only speculate, your Honour," Mary replies. "Being in a coma is very close to death, you understand. The line between life and death is such that doctors, and Healers such as myself, cannot reliably demarcate it. People have sometimes been declared dead, and even prepared for burial, only to wake to full consciousness."

"But this case is surely more complex than that," the judge says. "Mr Pettifer has been able to exist at the Waystation without anyone noticing anything amiss. He has been able to eat, drink, sleep, walk, communicate ... I can't see how that is possible if he is, indeed, alive."

Mary hesitates for a fraction of a second before saying, "I was very concerned for Mr Pettifer after I was ordered to release him from the House of Healing. I advised him to eat and drink in moderation, and to avoid physical exhaustion. I also prepared a particular blend of medicines for him to take regularly, in the hopes that it would protect him from harm should my fears turn out to be correct."

"You took this upon yourself, without letting anyone else know?" the judge asks with a raised eyebrow. "That is surely overstepping the bounds of your responsibility, Healer Gideon."

"My responsibility is to care for my patient," Mary says, with a lift of her chin. "I took a sacred oath as a Healer – first, protect from harm. That oath binds me to do everything possible to heal a patient, and until Mr Pettifer leaves this Waystation, I consider him my patient."

"The medicine that Mary gave me really helped," Julian says, annoyed that the judge is questioning his healer. "I wouldn't have been able to function without it."

"And what was in this medicine?" the judge asks, preparing to take notes.

"Essence of holy basil, snowdrop, and four leaf clover," Mary replies.

"Dennis, you're a highly-skilled shaman with experience in herbal medicines," the judge says. "What effects might these particular plants have in combination?"

"Well Nasati, I don't know what quantities Healer Gideon used, or how she prepared the herbs," Dennis says. "But holy basil is called the resurrection herb, and snowdrop protects the soul. Four leaf clover is well known for bringing good fortune. My guess is that Healer Gideon was attempting to keep Mr Pettifer's body alive on Earth while his soul travelled safely through the Afterlife – all while giving him a thick buffer of plain old fashioned luck."

"Mr Kay is broadly correct," Mary smiles in agreement. "Of course, there are many subtle nuances to medicine, but that summary is well enough for a layperson."

I'm a living ghost, Julian thinks, walking through the land of the dead. It makes his head swim and his knees feel weak.

"And Mr Pettifer met his soulmate here," Mary is now saying. "I think even with the medicine, he wouldn't have been able to stay so long in the Afterlife without the touch of his soulmate sustaining him."

"What effect would this have on Mr Fielding?" the judge questions her.

"I'm not sure, but my hunch is that it would have propelled Mr Fielding into transitioning towards a supernal state more rapidly," Mary says. "I have only observed Mr Fielding for a few hours, but I've noticed that his beauty is more luminescent than is usual in someone who has yet to go Forward. In a sense, Mr Pettifer has been sharing Mr Fielding's Afterlife energy."

Oh fuck, Julian thinks. The whole time I've been draining Noel like some kind of soul vampire. I've been killing him – I mean, killing him even more dead than he already is. He feels sick.

There are black spots in front of him, dancing and flickering in the hazy air. There is a strange mist in the room that makes his skin feel cold and clammy, and the floor comes up to meet him. The sensation of being scythed down like wheat in a damp field, and then a black hand over his eyes.

"Can someone please take care of my patient?" Mary says calmly. "I think he's just about to faint."