We lit the weed in the kitchen. The first smoke wasn't what I expected. It did nothing to me... well maybe I got a little more wet watching Edward as he watched me put the small stick-like paper into my mouth as if it was fascinating.

"Easy," he laughed, and my stomach dropped. Skillfully, he pulled at it and then blew it in the air. Smoke danced around him like a dexterous dancer. "How do you feel about what Masyia told you?"

I rubbed at my mouth as if it would help her speak. From some reserve of strength, I managed to mutter, "like someone stole my life and there is nothing I can do about it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"That's fine."

"Why did you ask her to liaise with me ?"

He shrugged. "When you walked away, I was angry. I still wanted to look into your case, but I didn't want to see you so soon. I found a compromise."

"You're childish. You wanted me to leave and I did. Why were you angry?"

"I wanted to be able to see you when I could. I wanted to protect you. Not for you to stay somewhere I can't protect you, somewhere not safe."

"I'm safe here. Far, far away from your control."

"You will be," he said.

"What does that mean?"

There was a kind of hunger in his eyes which I couldn't quite place. It was almost predatorial, but I liked it.

"Now that I know where you are, I can sleep easy at night. I can make sure you're safe."

"You're unbelievable."

"You'll get used to me, don't worry. Now that you know who I am, I don't have to be a nice guy to charm my way into your pants. I can still be my self and get what I want because despite your good girl act, Maria, deep down you like this version of me better. You crave a little danger."

"You think I know you?"

"Better than most people in my life," he said.

"If sex is the reason you're here then let's get it over with right here and right now."

The sombre expression on his face turned into a stern one. He glanced at me from his side. A small smile played on his lips as if he was mocking me and for some reason that made me angry.

Scoffing, I attempted to walk away. He grabbed me. I slapped him without even realizing it. It was an open hand. His head reeled. The impact confused my brain. Edward clenched his jaw and turned back to look at me, fierce anger burning in his eyes. He was in my space in an instance and I was ready for the retaliation that was to come.

"I want you to be my wife," he continued.

What?

I hit him again as if I was trying to provoke him to do something despicable that could prove to me that he was worse than I thought he was.

"I want you to be the mother of my children," he said through gritted teeth.

I raised my hand to hit it again but this time he grabbed my wrists and crushed me to his chest. I sought his eyes for understanding but it was just an endless depth of darkness and pain. He straightened and dropped my hand slowly.

"You said that you were not well equipped for games."

"I'm not playing games."

"I can't take more mixed signals from another man in my life, Edward. I'm not a toy."

"Don't," he warned. "Don't compare me to him. I'm not your boss."

"You're not. But I clearly have a type. Emotionally unavailable men. Cowards. If you want to be in my life, I need more from you."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"That you're afraid; you're running."

"I'm not running. For the first time in my life, I'm facing things head-on. I'm putting you at risk by being here but I am still here. I'm trying not to be afraid."

Taking a step closer, I observed him. "What are you scared of?"

"You. This. Us. What you could do to me if I let you in. The damage we could cause each other. We both have unresolved issues, people from our pasts that have the power to ruin us if we let them."

Thoughts of Ken whispered at the back of my mind. Time and distance from Edward had created a void which had been filled by my obsession with Ken. I wished there was a way to unstock my thoughts him, but there wasn't. Regardless of whatever sensual cravings I had, I was using Edward to get over of him. Paralysed by memories of what-ifs and what could have been but hoping that the way Edward looked at me, held the key to unclutter my mind. I was hopeless. How had I gotten to this point?

"If we let them."

"I don't know how to do right by the people that I love."

"But the lack of knowledge is not a sin," I said. "You've chosen not to learn and that's the problem."

"Is that supposed to be your role? Are you meant to swoop in and teach me, save me?"

"That's not my job. You need religion for that."

I didn't notice when he moved, only that he grabbed m and pushed me against the wall. He kissed me with all that anger kept pent up inside her. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of weed being exchanged in the intermingling of our billowing breaths.

We tumbled around, our mouths clinging together until we fell back on the bed. I straddled him. His mouth brushed the side of my throat as he worked his way up my lips with hot, open-mouth, wet kisses. We only broke when we needed to breathe, and I briefly basked in the image of his heavy-lidded eyes before our lips met again. It was so much and not enough all at once.

"I'm harmless."

I wanted to force him to relinquish reigns but that wasn't something a man like Edward was capable of.

"Out of everyone I've met, you might be the most dangerous one."

The high-pitched sound of his phone broke us apart, ringing through the entirety flat. Valentine's name flashed on the screen. He turned it off and flipped us over so that I was on the bed and he was between my legs. Ever so slightly, he brushed his tongue over my bottom lip, requesting entrance. A small moan slipped out as he nipped just below my ear lobe before he made his devious way down to suck a love bite on my skin.

"Do you want me to spend the night?" He smirked, before turning to inspect the delicious red mark he had left on my neck. He seemed proud of his work, and I couldn't disagree. I was shaking and felt like if the bed under me wasn't there, then I would have collapsed ages ago.

"You want to sleep here?"

"Yes. I haven't been sleeping well at home."

"Okay."

I tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he knew what I wanted. In one quick motion he whipped off his shirt, and I sat up for a second to take off my dress. His tattooed body was marvellous. It made him look more dangerous than my initial thought and I was gladly dangling on the edge of the cliff with him. I didn't know much about him but with the way he was looking at me, I didn't care what skeletons were in his closet.

"Would you think I was a freak if I told you that I wanted the sea to envy just how wet you could get me?"

"No. I wouldn't. As I said, you're not as innocent as you portray."

"What if I was using you?"

His red eyes locked with mine. He traced his index finger up and down the flimsy material of my bra. "I know. You're not very good at hiding your emotions. There is a battle in your eyes. But when it comes to you it's not easy to resist. Use me as much as you want. All I want is for you to tell me it's mine even if it isn't."

My traitorous, trembling hands found their way to his belt buckle. They tagged and pulled until it came apart. I unzipped his pants and pulled him back in for a kiss. He slipped his tongue inside my mouth, and we battled for dominance. His lips printed from my neck to my navel then to my inner thigh. I gasped for air. He tasted my sea just to see how deep it went and I cried out his name somewhere in the middle of all the profanities I was screaming while he alternated between hard sucks and saturated licks.

"Are you sure?"

"Are you m... mad?"

He laughed. "We both might be."

The sheets crumbled underneath our sweaty bodies. Before I knew it, I was taking all of him in. Neither of us held back. Our filthy curses danced around each other as if their job was to motivate us. I knew he was saying dirty, dirty things to me, but I couldn't place the exact words.

I watched him watch me, watch us...which was beautiful. We were beautiful, chocolate on chocolate. Obsidian skin on skin. Muscle on fat. Beauty on the beast. We were the perfect artwork. We created such a passionate mess.