I knew my stay at the hospital had been too long when too many staff members came to tell me goodbye. John thought I had a sense of humour and cleaning my room was the highlight of his day. Entertaining other people was a skill. At a very young age, I learned how to make other people comfortable with being around me. When they found out about my heart condition, their demeanour changed from joy to pity. I hated it. So, I learned how to make them comfortable in their discomfort.

Edward walked in on me stuffing my hands into a jacket. "We can leave now."

My hands shook as I struggled to zip up the coat that he brought for me among a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It was a green puffy parka coat with faux fur trim around the hood. Outside was an unexpected gift of rain. The wet season didn't generally start for another fortnight, but it poured. The drops were bigger than prairie hailstones and coming down as hard.

Staying at the hospital had been a good distraction. Now, forced to go to the real world, I was scared. I took in deep, ragged breaths before shaking my hands and trying to zip up the jacket again. My hands trembled. It frustrated me that I couldn't even do the smallest of things without help. It was because of the anaesthesia Doctor Singh gave me. All it did was make me feel numb. Morphine, aspirin, Novocain. He assured me that once they wore off, the shaking hands and the drowsiness would wear off too.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked again.

"I need a minute."

I wanted so much to stop stressing about my next step, but I couldn't. My brain was a violent whirl of worry, trying to organize the chaos in my life. The stress of that spread through my mind like ink on paper.

Edward pulled me to face him. I tried to ignore the jittery feeling that took over my body. I could feel the heat emanating from his body. He grabbed the ends of the jacket and zipped it up in a second.

"Thank you."

"Are you okay?"

I wasn't okay. My mind regurgitated the worries of the day, of tomorrow, of the day after tomorrow. Yet I had no new or brilliant solutions to offer. The only option I had to move in with him. It would take a lot of the weight on my shoulder, but I was so sick and tired of depending on everyone else.

"I'm going to be fine. I need to get home and get out of my head."

"My offer still stands," he said. "You can move in with me and I can help you."

We had this conversation for the past week. My pride wouldn't let me. He was a magnetic mystery. I liked him that way. Being in the dark offered me the option of forever remembering him as the Saint that saved my life.

"I'll be okay on my own."

His brows drew together while he stuffed his hands into the grey pants. He bit down his words for my sake and I was grateful.

"Let's go. Thank you for taking me home."

Rain hammered on the hood of his Mercedes G Wagon. The road ahead wound and swirled like a coil and the music on the radio tuned out like white noise. I sat awake on the passenger seat and stared at the window. Outside, the towering buildings, the calm suburban neighbourhoods and the glass shop all sat with me in silence. I closed my eyes and imagined a different life. Time, an ever-flickering flame makes you wonder where you stand. If there was any other way around to control it, mend it, change it so that it won't rebound.

I lived in Kikuyu. Though my neighbourhood was rebuilt with new, promising flats, there remained derelict buildings. Next to the fancy architecture, these derelicts almost looked like they were beamed in from an old-fashioned horror movie. A dilapidated mess but affordable, especially in an estate that wasn't so shabby.

"You can park there." I directed Edward in front of the rusty blue gate. Embarrassment fell like a weapon of the Gods, capricious as they are.

As he pulled up to my flat, my melancholy mood hung over me like a black cloud. The car eased into the small space and turned off. Edward scanned the hideous, sun-baked peeling walls of pastel-painted hell.

"This is where you stay?"

"No. We just pulled up to a random building in the middle of a storm for fun."

He laughed.

"Thank you for everything."

He glided down the car like a slinking panther and walked to my side. Rain fell on him, but he ignored it, opening my door. He took out an umbrella from the glove compartment. I glanced upward, my mouth pursed, but opened, eyes fixed on him as if he were about to do the most unusual thing.

"I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't at least escort you to your door." And then he gave me a smile that seemed so sweet that an unexpected warmth rushed through me.

"Thank you."

There was no greater equalizer than Mother Nature. From the low-slung cloud, she exploded with pent up fury. The wind whipped the frigid drops, sending them hurtling in every direction.

We had been knocking on the gate for the past five minutes without an answer. Edward had the umbrella over us and one hand on my waist, pinning my back to his chest. Because of the rain, I couldn't stand on my crutches without it completely soaking me.

I tried to be indifferent. I tried not to lean in, not to make it easy or seem too keen. He tightened his hand around my waist and moved so close that I could feel every part of his lean body pressed against me. He drew his hand away to pull the black hood over his saturated form. I let out a breath and banged harder on the gate, praying for someone, anyone to open it and put me out of my misery.

"You should go back to the car and I'll wait here," he whispered into my ear. A delicious shiver ran down my spine, like a bolt of electricity.

I summoned enough courage to meet his gaze. "Okay."

The gate whipped open before I could take a step. My landlady, slender and tall, cast her angry eyes at Edward and then at me. "I'm hoping you're here to pick up your things and leave?"

I moved towards her with the melancholy eyes, ready to explain my predicament. She stopped me, giving me a simpering smile with raised brows. "Hata unilipe pesa za mwaka moja, I'll never let you stay a minute longer. Ingia, beba virago vyako na utoke haraka. I have someone moving in as soon as you're gone."

She was incapable of empathy or remorse. Even if I tried to explain what happened, she wouldn't go back on her word. I had never met a more assertive woman. She must have been a nun in another life.

"Fuck!"

Edward handed me the umbrella and scooped me into his arms. "Which one is yours?"

My flat was one room with two windows open in the cold but still smelled like wet, dirty shoes. All cramped into one was my kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom. I didn't have much space, but it was enough for me.

Edward looked around in disapproval at the disaster. I limped towards my bed. "I need a few minutes to pack everything up. I'll be fast."

"Sit." His dark eyes reflected the irritation in his voice. "I have a lot of work waiting for me and you limping around will keep me here for eternity. I'll do it. We're only taking what's necessary."

"No way."

He levelled a glare on me. "Relax, there is nothing I haven't seen before. Even if there is, I guarantee you that I'm not interested in the slightest."

Scoffing, I sat at the edge of the bed despite the strong urge to clobber him.

"How much is the rent for this dump anyway?"

He was right, it was a dump, but it was my dump. For two years, I was comfortable in the dimness of the room. It was small and yet large enough, cramped and yet spacious enough. Most times, homed in the dump, life was empty and intermingled with fear, anxiety, and sadness. I would spend the nights staring across to the developed houses, dreaming of a better tomorrow. Having a dream kept me comfortable in my dump because I knew that one day, I would no longer be in it. Someone like Edward wouldn't understand. Not long ago, I didn't understand either.

"It's not much. I pay six thousand shillings a month."

He dragged my suitcase across the room and arched an imperious brow at me. "Why haven't you been able to pay three month's rent?"

"Because I didn't have the money for it."

There was a dangerous glimmer in his eyes when he looked at me. As usual, for all the nasty things he always said, there was no apology coming my way. He popped open my pink suitcase and I almost died. At the top were every pair of my underwear and bra.

"I've seen underwear before," he said.

I swallowed hard, unable to come up with a witty comeback. "Please shove all those clothes on the rack to the suitcase so that we can get out of here."

A small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. He picked up one of my turquoise blue underwear and turned to face me. "Who would have thought that underneath all that," his eyes scanned me. "There is a probability of this. You don't look like a lace kind of girl."

Fuming, I got out of the bed and snatched my underwear from his hands. "You're a disgusting human being."

His laugh was short and vexatious. "You're going to have to learn to like me if we're going live together. Stop making it easy for me to taunt you."

"What in the world makes you think I'm going to move in with you?"

Again, he raised an eyebrow at me. "Let's see. Your mean landlady has kicked you out. You have no money, no family, no friends, and no home. Remind me if I left anything out so I can add it to the list."

His insensitivity about my predicament baffled me. Goddammit, why did he have to be right? I had nowhere to go. Dr Ken had taken me out of the street, offered me a job and agreed to treat my heart condition without pay. I had already sucked as much out of him as I could. He wasn't an option although a better alternative. Naomi, my only friend, had asked for a loan before the accident, so she could pay for her daughter's school fees. Edward was all I had.

"I don't have to like you," I retorted. "But I'm smart enough to take you up on that offer. I'll stay with you until my leg heals. Once that happens, I'll get out of your hair but still work off all the money I owe you for the hospital bill."

"Good girl. But working off the hospital bill might take you several years."

"Whatever it takes."

His shrug and tone were nonchalant. "That's fine by me."