Sophie smacked her hand on my cheek, jolting me awake. I looked at the time on my phone. 5.47am.

Fuck. I slowly moved her hand back over her side of the bed, getting out of bed to pee. She'd come over in tears, now aware of Eleanor's meddlesome behaviour that had caused her split with Alex. She had truly loved him, and all this while, they had been tiptoeing around each other because of one fabricated lie. Alex had gone with the team to a neighbouring state for a football game, and Sophie knew she shouldn't be talking to him before an important match. It was a qualifier, and he needed to be at his best.

So we sat and watched Titanic, and we cried like babies over what our hearts wanted. Then we watched another movie and then another. My laptop was still playing the closing credits from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I shut the screen, checking the notifications on my phone.

Finn had travelled with the boys, and he informed me that they had won, qualifying into the finals next week. I congratulated Daniel and Alex while I was peeing and then went back to bed, snuggling up with the heavy blanket. Winters always called for heavy quilts, and I would always burrito myself into the warmth.

Sleep refused to come. My mind was still obsessed with every single moment I shared with Noah, often landing in his room. Our first kiss in the greenhouse, the gingerness in his touch followed by the absolute command. The sunshine in his smile and the melancholy in his tears. The thoughtfulness and the carelessness.

If you'd be an ice cream flavour, I'd say you're blueberry.

Why?

Because you're sweet, but you can kick ass. And purple is a pretty color on you

Prettier than yellow?

Hm.. probably not. Of everything, yellow has to be my favorite color on you.

Why?

Because in yellow, you seem to come alive. I don't know how to explain this but... you look like you're carrying all the happiness in the world when you wear it. Like you'll just open your bag and like ten thousand fireflies will burst out.

How cheesy!

Also, it makes your blushing face look even brighter. Like now.

Ugh.

I woke up to tearstained pillow covers and Sophie rummaging through my wardrobe, fussing over my lack of clothes adapted for bigger chests.

"Maybe if I had any boobs I'd consider it," I yawned, chasing the last bits of sleep by covering my eyes from the harsh sunlight.

"Can I take this?" I peeked through my fingers, shooting up from bed at the sight of the shirt.

"No!" I snatched the grey tee shirt and folded it neatly, putting it on the top shelf. I pulled out another white button up I had, which I usually wore as an additional layer over my tee shirts. "This should work."

"That was Noah's?" She asked, stripping off the clothes from yesterday and wearing the one I gave her. I nodded, lying over the crumpled bed sheets again.

I saw you wore my tee shirt to class again today.

I did, is there any problem?

No, hmm, is that a new lip balm? I like cherry. You style it really well considering it falls over you like a curtain.

Are you making fun of me? It's not my fault you're obscenely tall. And your shoulders are like, so broad.

You know most girls fall at my feet for these exact things.

I think we've already established that there's no such thing as 'most girls'. Don't generalise.

Okay, how about I put it this way: You're the most special woman I've ever known.

Sounds nice. Sounds really, really nice.

"I don't want to go to school, I don't want to deal with emotions, I just want to be a duck and kill people." I groaned, making Sophie laugh.

"It's not funny," I continued, "I just don't like this whole existence thing I am forced to do."

"Stop existing then," Sophie challenged, "Pinch your nose and try suffocating. You'll fight out of it because I know you don't want to stop existing. You just want to be happier than you are now."

"Sometimes I feel like that's too much to ask," I muttered dryly, picking up a pink shirt she had discarded to the floor, deciding it would be my outfit for the day.

Despite my desperate protests, River and Nathan had started using the coffee machine last night, so Sophie hopped on the job while I buttered some toast. It was a dull day and we both weren't in the mood for more. The sky outside was a reflection of our moods, overcast with clouds.

"Don't even think about your bike. I'm taking you to class," Sophie warned as I was looking for the keys. I didn't disagree.

We sat in the cafeteria between classes, doing a little back and forth on the upcoming tests when Emily marched onto our table, plopping right next to me with extreme sadness over her face, "Oh you, baby!" she hugged me with the force of a train, "I just heard about you and Noah. You must know that I was so rooting for you guys! Like, you completely had him wrapped around your finger, I can't imagine why you guys would break up. But anyway, the girls and I are getting together this Thursday for a mid week sesh- you know, have to share some goss. I'll text you the deets soon, okay?" She kissed my cheek with a lot of force again before rushing off, leaving me shell shocked. Sophie, on the other hand seemed to enjoy my torment, bursting into a fit of laughter as soon as Emily left.

"Tell me all the hot goss on Friday, okay babe?" I rolled my eyes at her poor imitation, trying to scrub off the lipstick stain she had surely left on me. No one ever had that bright a shade of lipstick unless they wanted to transfer it on someone. I noticed whom when she skipped all the way to the entrance of the cafeteria, lining up with all the girlfriends. Finn stood in the back awkwardly. I wondered why I didn't know this.

A quick look at my phone showed me why. Hailey had removed me from the group chat last night.

Oh.

I should have expected it, and it wasn't like I even liked those girls a lot, but it still hurt. This breakup felt more like a divorce settlement, with new things finalising the permanence of our separation every day. The doors burst open and the team marched in, hooting and screams followed.

Winning this match was no small feat and the boys might just be bringing the award/prize-thingy home. This excited the student body greatly and it showed as they all grabbed Alex and hauled him on their shoulders, Noah followed soon. Of course, the Golden Duo of the soccer field.

Looking at him hurt. It hurt so bad, like the air was ripped out of my chest and my stomach was inflating with said air. At any moment, I could explode and I would be Brianna splatter all over the place. Yet, no one would care. How could they when this beautiful human was present in the room, with that beautiful tan and the lovely smile and the adorable cheeks and those ridiculously drool worthy collarbones and and those eyes so gorgeous and light and... staring right at me. I didn't realise that he was looking at me until a moment too late, but I stood frozen, unable to take my eyes off him.

I wanted him to say something, even give me a small smile, a silent raise of an eyebrow, anything. Talk to me, Noah! Instead, all I got was the frigid glare only Sterlings knew how to show. It chilled me to my core, and I had to look away. I couldn't let him see my eyes welling up with tears, I could not show weakness. Because that's where these people hurt you the most. I grabbed my uneaten apple and my bag, weaving through the crowds to escape from the boy I loved. How ironic, that the person I loved was the one I was running away from.

As I walked out, I glanced one more time at the beautiful boy perched on his friend's shoulder, and he looked happy.

I'd be okay.

Or at least I hoped so.

***

Aloha bitches! You can now call me Watty Winner Pari and that will be the only acceptable name for me :))))))

I'm kidding lol but how cool is winning a Watty? EEEPPP

***

P.S. Like I said in the previous update, I will be starting a new story in January. Here's the cover:

3 people, 3 different points in time. 

Pocket full of memories is a look into the journals of three people, with their stories tied together by the flowers pressed between the pages. 

Please make sure to add it in your library if that's something you'd like to read. I'll start posting Dec 25 and since it's a shorter story, it will end by mid February. I hope you like it!