book mock up credit -carmin

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."  

-- Michael Landon Jr.

Zanna.

Part 1

  I opened my eyes.

"Why am I the only who can see you?" 

He slightly chuckled. "I know what you're thinking," he said again. "You think you see me, you know. You see my parents, my house, and my friends... You automatically think, 'Blayze has it all don't he?' Well don't think that, cuz it isn't true."

"No need to thank me. I needed you too."

"And Zanna, just keep being you. For the love of God, just keep being you."

"I love you, Zanna." 

  I was hearing a voice, but I didn't exactly see a face. The voice sounded familiar.

  I sat up quickly, and tried taking all the stuff--that was attached to my arms--off, and I looked around frantically.

  Was the person with the voice here? I thought I saw a guy when all of that had flashed before my eyes. Right? I mean, the voice was was of a guy, and he was smiling. He'd frowned too.

  "What happened?" I croaked.

  I sat up slowly, and looked around. I was in a hospital room it seemed like. The walls were an eggshell color, and the floors were white. On the table next to the armchair were all types of flowers with vases. There was a teddy bear with a white cast on his left arm and some bandages were wrapped around his head, there was a card put next to him, and on the front of it it read ' Get Well Soon.'

  Did I pass out? Everything at this point seemed a bit surreal. I had woken up from a very long dream. It really did feel that way. But the thing was, the second I woke up, I'd forgotten what the dream had been about. 

And I had a feeling it'd been a lovely dream.

  "Zanna?" I turned my head to the person who said my name. The person looked to be the doctor. I couldn't really tell. He then started to call the nurses, and whoever else needed to come in due to the fact that I woken up from being in a coma.

  He asked me all sorts of questions. He asked me if I could move my legs, if I could breathe, talk, blink, and he even checked if my eye sight was okay. I wanted to yell at him, and tell him that I just woke up, and that I didn't feel like answering questions. He told a nurse at one point to go and fetch me a glass of water.

  Now I just wanted to go to sleep.

  But Mom and, surprisingly, my sister Tish walked into the room. They had tears in the eyes as they ran over to hug me.

  Tish kept saying to me, as she hugged me tightly, "I'm glad that you made it Zanna. I'm glad you made it."

  Mom cried and held me, too. "Thank God," she said.

  All I could think about was that there had been a possibility that I could've never woken up. But you know what the sad thing was? I thought I was better off asleep, I wanted to get back from that dream, and hear that guy speak again.

  Yet, I couldn't get mad at God for having me stay with Mom and my sister. He probably felt like I hadn't finished my mission yet, or fulfilled my purpose. Besides, I was being given a second chance. But... I didn't know. I just felt empty.

  Empty is the perfect word to describe the way I felt at the moment.  

  I hugged Mom and Tish back. "I'm glad I made it too." I tried to sound convincing, as a tear drop fell from my face.

()()()

  Some things had changed. But not everything.

  Before leaving the hospital, I had to still stay a couple days after waking up. The doctors had wanted to run some test on me to make sure that I was really "fine", and healthy.

  I was eating some soup a nurse had brought me for my lunch. It was flavorless, and the side of bread was dry, yet, I still tried to eat it.

  As I avoided the carrots and continued to slurp up the chicken broth. The doctor had walked in. I looked at his name tag: Brandon Terran. He held a clipboard. "Like the soup?" He asked with a smile. "I prefer the roast and potatoes."

  I smiled shyly. "I didn't get to pick my food. The nurse just brought it in."

  He nodded understandingly. "Sorry about that. But I've got good news Zanna, you'll be able to go home after tomorrow. So, no more soup."

  "Haha...yay." I held up my spoon, and waved it around.

  The nurse came in and checked the monitor. As she got to work on that, the doctor kind of idled about. Then, he asked me something, that kind of caught me off guard.

  "You're dating my son Blayze, right?"

  I didn't say anything immediately. All I could think was huh?

  He continued speaking. Oblivious to my silence.

  "My son's been wanting to see you, but he's grounded."

  I frowned in confusion. "Your son?" I asked. 

  He nodded with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, Zanna. My son Blayze. He said you guys just started dating right before the accident."

  He saw me look even more incredulous. "...am I missing something here?"

  Yeah, you are. You're missing the fact that I'm not necessarily sure who Blayze Terran is, and that I DON'T have a dating life whatsoever.

  But my response was vague you could say. "No..no. I understand. I guess there's always school."

  I wanted to ask Dr Terran if his son went to the same school as me. But I didn't want him to see that I was clueless on what he was talking about—with me being involved with his son and all.

  "Yeah," he said with a warm smile. "There's always school. And I'm sure he'll be glad to see you. He just keeps asking about you, and I say that you're fine. But for some reason he's not convinced that you are, and keeps pressing for me to let him visit you."

  I had to admit that Dr Terran was being rather controlling. If in some crazy jacked-up way I had a boyfriend, and this Blayze guy was my boyfriend, and he wanted to come see me--why would his own father keep him from that? Sheesh! It's not like Dr Terran couldn't bring his son over to come and see me.

  Yet, the thing was. What did Blayze do to get grounded?

  So I asked.

  He shook his head, and sighed as he looked at the clipboard he was still holding. "Blayze started acting out, and now he's being punished."

  I nodded, and didn't say anything. I didn't know why I felt like there was more to the story. Like, why did he start "acting out"?

()()()

  My sister Tish told me and Mom, once I was finally out the hospital, that she was going to be moving closer to Andersville once she finished up college and got everything figured out.

  I was surprised at Tish's announcement. She always said that once she left Andersville, she would never ever come back. But I guess never say never.

   Mom was very welcoming and encouraging towards the whole idea of her coming back home, but I felt a little mixed about it. Yay, my older sister was coming back home, and things wouldn't feel as lonely as they did...I just didn't know to feel about Tish boomeranging back to us.

  Despite all of that, I still congratulated Tish on the decision. Even went so far as to say, "It'll be just like old times."

  Tish and Mom didn't object to what I said. They smiled, and somehow we started talking about the concerts that would be coming to Andersville, what we could do for girl's night out—or in.

  Things at home might be changing very soon.

()()()

  Before I went back to so-called school, I was allowed to stay home for a week. The week consisted of me reading, writing, and practicing my singing for "On My Own". I wasn't sure if I'd ever gotten the part. Before getting hit by that truck I'm sure that it'd been figured out and decided...it was Hell not being able to recall things, and having to wear a damn cast; walking around with crutches that hurt my armpits.

  When Mom came home, she and I sat down and ate dinner, then we watched movies. The first movie we started off with was Before Sunset, then we finished off the night with Garden State. Zach Braff was hilarious.

  One night in the week I'd been looking at all the cards everybody had sent me while I'd been in a coma. Some of the cards were hilarious (I didn't realize how much sense-of-humor my relatives had), and some were very encouraging, telling me to wake up. And some were very heartfelt, even a church group sent me a card saying that they had been praying for me. It was all very sweet and unexpected.

  By the time I'd gotten through most of the cards, I was about to get up from the floor and go to sleep. But while trying to pick up the multitude of cards all at once, a card dropped on the floor. I didn't remember reading this one. I think I'd forgotten to read it, or I'd overlooked it. Regardless, I hadn't read the card. It was a fetching card though. The front part of the card read: Keep hoping. Keep the faith.

  I smiled a little bit at the sentiment, and I proceeded to open the inside of the card. 

  "'Hope is the thing with feathers. That perches in the soul. And sings the tune without the words. And never stops at all,'" I read aloud. Wow, there was something beautiful about that excerpt from an Emily Dickinson's poem (I think it was Emily Dickinson, 'cause I vaguely remember reading some of her poetry as a freshmen). I wondered who the person was that minute. I scanned the card, and at the bottom there were two signatures.

  But one of the signatures stood out to me from them all. 

  Blayze Terran had been inscribed on one part of the card, below the excerpt from the poem. The signature was in print, and obviously he didn't work at refining his handwriting. But that's what I was thinking subconsciously. Instead, I thought about whether or  not this Blayze Terran fella' was actually my boyfriend in some, weird mixed-up way. Yet, despite the optimism and some of my forgetfulness since the whole accident.  I couldn't forget who I was before I was in a coma. 

  I was a freaking nobody at school. I was most-likely depressed and miserable. And right now even, I still felt freaking empty.

  Therefore, I was just kidding myself.

  But truly, If I'd been kidding myself. Why did I fall asleep, holding the card to my chest?

  Hope is the thing with feathers. That perches in the soul. And sings the tune without the words. And never stops at all...right? 

()()()  

  The whole damn week had passed by very quickly. I didn't want to step one foot into Wayward High, because it was a freaking prison. Mom was putting me back into prison, and what kind of Mom does that? 

My mom.

  I didn't complain to her about the wretched Wayward High though. I got out of the car and walked beside her to the school's office.

  School hadn't really opened yet, but since I was the young lady who fell into a coma, who hadn't practically been in school for a week, the school staff perhaps thought I was a special case. Oh, and they wanted to discuss my grades, and how much they sucked.

  Vice Principal Michael was someone I remembered. He did most of the principal's job, and for that very reason, I have a hard time remembering the principle's name. Was it Principal Benjamin? No, that was Warner High's principal.

  Anyway, after Vice Principal Michael greeted us nicely, he sat me down and told me what had taken place at school these past weeks. He said that homecoming week was this week, and that today had been Red Light, Green Light, Yellow Light Day (wear red if you're single, green if you're taken, and yellow if it's complicated). "The cheerleaders came up with it. It's ridiculous," He said.

   "It sure is," Mom agreed. "Zanna, you're glad you didn't have to participate in today's baloney."

  I nodded, and smiled shyly with a little chuckle. "Yeah..."

  Vice Principal Michael told me my grades were doing okay, and that last week and the week before that had been pretty lenient for all classes, So, I basically had five overdue assignments. Thank God.

    "The school staff is glad to have you back Zanna."

()()()

  I sat in the lobby by myself. Mom and I had parted ways at the school office.

  Now, I was alone. But I was pretty sure--glancing at the time on my phone--that in five minutes or so, the bus crowd would be piling in.

  Therefore, I listened to the Les Miz highlights using my CD player. I had to get a new one because it'd been destroyed on impact, and this time this one was more of a legit Walkman.

  "One Day More" began to play when the lobby began to fill. Some people looked at me curiously; they probably thought I was a new student. Others just took one glance at me and turned away, continuing to socialize with their friends.

  I continued listening to my music.

  I was switching in my Les Miz CD for my Mazzy Star's So Tonight That I Might See CD, when I suddenly felt like looking up, and when I did. I found myself making awkward eye contact with a guy. He had just walked in, and I was sitting down a couple feet away from him; practically all the way across the room.  

  For some reason, I felt like I knew him, but I couldn't put my finger on why I felt like I'd talked to the guy before. Then, something else happened that I didn't expect. He smiled a little hesitantly, and waved.

  I felt myself blushing, and I wanted to look away but I didn't.

  We looked at each other for awhile, until someone approached me.

  The guy was okay looking, and he was sporting a black eye. He wore a smirk and had his arms in his pockets. He had some guys following him.

  "Hey," He said confidently. "You're new here aren't you?"

  I frowned, and responded with, "No, I've been going here since the 9th grade actually."

  His smirk went away, and he kind of frowned too. "Oh...Are you sure...? I mean, have I seen you around here before?"

  I didn't respond, and instead I looked over at the guy I had been staring at from across the room. He was still looking at me, and did I see a look of irritation on his face when he glanced at the meathead who apparently thought I was a new student here?

  I missed the frown that the meathead gave the guy I'd made awkward eye contact with.

  Was I not aware of something? Oh, well. With a "See you around", the meathead left with his group of cronies. I went back to listening to my Mazzy Star CD. 

  "Fade Into You" had been playing.

—

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I wanna thank all my readers, voters, and commenters/reviewers... It really means a lot . Like really, it means a lot.

Thank you guys!

This isn't the end of the epilogue. Part 2 perhaps will be published tomorrow, or in a few days. DG and I have it done, we just need to go over it one more time. 

Just PM us if you really want part 2 out tomorrow. 

Thanks again!

—DG&Reid