book mock up credit -carmin

book jacket credit @rosegolden--

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."

-- Michael Landon Jr.

Zanna.

Part 2

  English was first period.

  When I entered the classroom I sat down in a desk in the front, and examined my surroundings. I think I remembered what English was like. We'd been doing a project I think, or a big essay.

  People started entering the classroom after me, and one girl asked me, who sat on the same side I was sitting on, "Is it true that you were in a coma, for like, a really long time?"

  She wore a shirt that had Daria on it, and her hair was blonde with black streaks in it.

  I nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I was."

  "Is it true, that you can hear people when you're in a coma. Like, if they were talking to you, could you hear them even though you were in a coma?"

  "I'm not really sure. Uh, I think I dreamed more-so than heard people...or whatever. I'm not sure. That's a really good question..." That threw me off guard.

  Then a guy who sat beside her was like, "Yuri, you're so weird."

  "Hey! I was just wanting to know..."

  "But that's just a myth. A stupid myth."

  I smiled at their banter, and went back to reading today's journal prompt.

  "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."

  - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

What does Brown mean by this? Write down your answer and explain. Write in complete sentences.

  I wrote down whatever I felt was a plausible answer for me--myself. I wasn't really sure if If I was invisible to anybody anymore. I would need to give it a couple more days. And because of that, I wasn't really feeling the quote; I hardly understood it. But I still wrote down an answer.

  A middle aged man with a goatee walked in, and when he saw me his face lit up.

  "Zanna Purgeth, you're back!" He clapped. "You know Blayze had told me your mother had pulled the plug on ya, and I was really going to miss your writing and originality. But you're back! You're back!"

  I blushed. I didn't expect that reaction from the English teacher. Perhaps a couple questions...

  Everybody's eyes were on me. The bell had rung, and everybody had come in. I even saw the meathead and his buddies looking my way.

  People asked me all sorts of questions. Such as, the question Yuri had asked, if I was pressing charges on the driver who hit me, what it felt like after I woke up from being in a coma, what I dreamed about (I had a hard time answering that question), in sum, I was starting to get really uncomfortable.

  Then he walked in.

  He was ten minutes late for class, and either Mr Morgan was in such a good mood he didn't care, or just didn't realize it, but he said to the guy I made awkward eye contact with earlier, "Blayze, why didn't you tell me the good news! That Zanna made it!?"

  Come again?

  That guy was Blayze? My supposed boyfriend?

  I resisted the urge to let my mouth hang open.

  As he responded to Mr Morgan's question, I looked away quickly. Blushing furiously, I went back to writing in my notebook. But it seemed like I was stuck on the words in the quote, "...invisible to the eye."

  Maybe, the guy wasn't Blayze Terran. His name perhaps, was coincidentally so.

  I looked up from writing my five sentences to see where Blayze had sat down. He was sitting in front of me, and again, we had both unintentionally decided to glance at each other at the same time.

  He had been looking at me, and he was about to say something. But the stupid meathead beat him to it.

  The meathead said to me from the other side of the room. "Hey Zanna, come sit over here!"

  "That's okay," was my response.

  I looked at Blayze again. He seemed hesitant.

  I decided to say something. "Hey, is your dad a doctor?"

  "Yeah, he is...Uh, Zanna?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Did you dream of anything while you were in a coma?"

  The instant he asked me that, I heard a voice somewhere in my memory of that dream that sounded eerily familiar.

  "She's not real, she's just a figment of your imagination..."

  "You're, y-you're not a ghost, okay?"

  "You're going to make it Zanna."

  "I can see you."

  What the...? I stood up abruptly. I must've given Blayze a look like I'd just seen a ghost, but that was not the best way to describe my face at the moment. He looked a little confused, and saw that everybody was staring at me and him.

  "Zanna, are you okay?" Mr Morgan asked, with alarm in his face. "Do you need the nurse, or do you feel like you're going to pass out..?

  I looked at the English teacher, and replied, trying to keep my voice steady. I could feel Blayze's eyes on me. "Um, I just need to use the restroom...is all."

  Mr Morgan got out the bathroom pass from his desk, and handed me it. "Okay, Zanna. Just be careful. If you aren't back in ten minutes I'll send somebody to check on you."

  I nodded with a reassuring smile, and exited the classroom quickly.

()()()

  I splashed water on my face, and looked at my face in the mirror. I didn't dream about Blayze Terran. He seemed like one of those popular guys I barely affiliated myself with here at Wayward High. What the heck was his father trying to say about his son and me dating?

  It sounded ludicrous, and not really substantial. It wasn't important.

  As I'd been having this internal conflict, a girl who I thought looked familiar came out one of the bathroom stalls. She had multi-colored hair,a piercing, and wore fish net gloves. I stepped away from the sink so that she could wash her hands.

  How could I go back to English class? I wouldn't be able to look at Blayze.

  "Are you Zanna?"

  I looked at the scene girl. "Huh?"

  "Are you Zanna? You were in a coma, right?" She pointed at me.

  I nodded slowly. "Yeah...I was."

  "Well, I apologize for not knowing who you are..." She didn't make eye contact with me. "Um, but I just wanted to tell you. This one guy, uh, Blayze Terran? He was saying he could see you. That you were a ghost, and he was the only person who could see you. I know it must sound crazy, but I believe that kinda stuff. Hehe. Anyway, I find it really cute that you guys are most likely soulmates. That's what I came up with. That's what this resource book I have, told me."

  "You're kidding me," I whispered.

  She shook her head with a knowing smile. "Nah. I'm not. But I find it cool, and very endearing. And it must mean something. You and him might mean something." She tore some of the paper towels from the dispenser and dried her hands. "I just thought I'd say that. I find it good that you came through. I'm glad a plug didn't need to be pulled."

  Ten minutes later, Yuri had to come and get me. I hadn't passed out.

()()()

A couple days later...

  It was right after choir, and I was standing outside the choir room, holding some sheet paper in my hand with one crutch—because I was going to be performing "On My Own", and I would be singing part of the Les Misérables Highlight program, that would be taking place in two weeks. I didn't think I'd ever sound as good as Lea Salonga or Samantha Barks, but hey, I was glad that I was going to be able to sing my favorite song from Les Miz.

  I would do without the crutches and the leg cast, by the time of the Les Miz Highlight festival.

  Anyway, today was Friday—the last day of Homecoming Week. Everybody was in the school colors, and I even participated. My shoes and T-shirt showed that I did.

  I was humming a couple notes to "On My Own", and I was just in my own world. The hallways were pretty scarce as well, but usually on the day of homecoming everybody did their own thing. The jocks all usually hung out in the locker room, weight lifting room, student center, or gym. The rest of the non-athletes usually went home early, or hung out on the quad.

  "So, you ended up getting the part?"

  Tired from standing with one leg, I was sitting down on the ground with both my crutches laid beside me, when I saw that Blayze Terran was walking towards me. He wasn't wearing any school colors, nor was he in a football jersey.

  He played football, and was one of the star players I heard. So, it puzzled me that he wasn't showing any school spirit. Yet, I could recall (even through the awkwardness, these last couple days between him and I) seeing and feeling the hostility between the the meathead and his cronies and Blayze. I wondered what Blayze had done wrong.

  I didn't answer his question. "Why aren't you showing any school spirit...?" I asked looking up at him, trying to drown out the awkwardness that had seemed to be radiating between us this past week, including now. I didn't know what else to say, but then there was the one question that had been really bugging me lately. What's up with your dad saying we're dating?

  "Oh... Uh... Can we go and talk about this somewhere else?" Blayze asked me next. That snapped me out of the weird reverie I was in.

  Had I said that out loud? If I were Cady from mean girls, I'd say I was suddenly suffering from a very bad case of word-vomit. Why did I just say that out loud? Blayze was starting to walk away, and I think I was supposed to follow him. He helped me up by holding out his hand first, which I grabbed without hesitation, I wouldn't fall in front of him, would I? Plus, I didn't miss the way he put his arm around my waist either. He got my crutches and I grabbed those from him, too.

  "Do you need me to carry yo—?"

  "No!" I snapped. Okay, not that I meant to snap at him, but the close contact was weird along with the subtle touches.

  I saw hurt flash in his eyes quickly, before he settled back to the worrying gaze he kept giving me. He nodded, even though I really wanted to apologize, but it was weird. He then began walking towards a place where we could talk alone, I think, and I was expected to follow.

  About to, someone at this moment decided to get in my way.

  Julie Tatherson.

  I rolled my eyes.

  "What?" I asked blatantly, I was starting to feel the crutches underneath my armpits, making them sweat.

  I did not feel like dealing with Julie right now.

  Oh yeah, while I'd been in the hospital; in yearbook I had been "temporarily" replaced by Julie, but since she was able to sell a lot of ads including the ones I hadn't been able to sell before the accident, she stayed. The only reason Ms Jones hadn't kicked me out yet, was for the fact that: wouldn't she look bad, if she'd kick the girl—who had a near-death experience—out of yearbook?

  I didn't wanna do yearbook, anymore. I was currently thinking up ideas on how to leave yearbook without looking as if I'd failed. But how could I, when there seemed to be no other options?

  "Ms Jones said me and you have to take photos at the game tonight." While Julie said that, she didn't give me direct eye contact. She simply stared at her chipped school color (blue and orange) painted nails.

  I didn't say anything. I didn't wanna go to that stupid football game tonight; just because, I oh so happened to dress up for school spirit day, didn't mean I was spirited to the point where I wanted to stand in the cold, with my thin winter jacket being the only thing barely keeping me from the cold, and having to take pictures with an annoying self-centered bitch all night. She'd be hogging it anyway, wanting to be near the football players. Besides I was injured. I.N.J.U.R.E.D. Injured?

  Could anyone see that?

  And No! Zanna Diana Tanner was NOT going to spend her Friday like that.

  Not today.

  "Listen here Julie," I began, 'kind of' trying to pick and chose my words carefully without sounding like her; bitchy and... Well, bitchy. "I'm not up for it tonight... Did I tell you my grandparents are visiting me today?" And I'm in crutches! I wasn't going to go to the game in a wheel chair, no matter how bitchy her and Ms Jones wanted to be to me today.

  Though my grandparents weren't really visiting me tonight, that didn't mean I was totally lying about that, considering the past few weeks since my departure from the hospital. They had been keeping close tabs on me; calling me every day.

  I didn't know if Julie could see through my bullshit, but I decided right then there that if Ms Jones was scared of kicking me out of yearbook, then she wouldn't have a problem with me skipping this assignment and perhaps skipping yearbook, too. I could just come in with fake doctor notes, saying, "Zanna is experiencing a few withdraws from her recovery, she'll need to take it easy today." Perhaps a bit more convincing.

  I smiled at the revelation.

  "...you're just going to get dropped from yearbook, you know that right? If it wasn't for your stupid accident, Ms Jones would have your ass kicked out right now?"

  I hadn't been listening to Julie for a moment, but when the cuss words started coming into the picture, that suddenly snapped me out of my thoughts, and I didn't miss a single word after that.

  She gave me an expectant look, kind of waiting for me to react someway, but she quickly went back to observing her nails as if staring at me would give her something bad.

  I didn't know if me being on crutches, made me appear more vulnerable.

  But I wasn't that. I wasn't vulnerable.

  "You know what Julie?" I said, almost sudden-like. "Go to the game by yourself, damn. I'd rather get hit by a car again, then have to stand by you all night in the cold, okay? So back the fuck off."

  She finally looked up from her her nails, and gave me a look that mirrored the scream; her eyes huge and her mouth wide open. I walked past her with my crutches, leaving her to recover from whatever mind-fuck she was experiencing at the moment, wandering off into the direction where Blayze had went.

  Descending down a hall that was strewn with different banners that said things like: Go Wayward Tigers!, Wayward Tigers Beat Warner Panthers tonight!, I went past a door I hadn't realized was there.

  I was then quickly and carefully pulled into a dark room room.

  I was screaming inwardly Ah! and was so close to screaming outloud, until I was plopped down carefully, on--I think--a table, and I was silenced by a kiss. I didn't have time to react to this person's lips meeting mine, for it was as if whoever was kissing me—the kiss was familiar though, but I knew I haven't experienced my first kiss yet. Anyway, whoever was kissing me, they were making my mind go into this sort of frenzy.

  Memories, past-thoughts, memories, and past-thoughts were going through my head. To my surprise I kept seeing Blayze in them... In some of the memories he was yelling at me, but in other memories—in most of them, actually—he was telling me that he loved me. And he was staring at me, I mean really staring at me as if he were finally seeing me for who I was, and who I'd been all along, before I'd gotten into that horrible accident.

  Staring at me, like how I'd always wanted to be stared at. Like, "I'm so glad I met you Zanna." Like, "I'm so glad that you were put on this earth." Like... Like he was saying to me like Angela from My-So Called Life always wanted a guy to say to her, "You're so beautiful, it hurts to look at you."

  All these things were going through my head as I was being kissed.

  And I realized right then and there what Tally had meant by "...you were a ghost, and he was the only person who could see you. I know it must sound crazy, but I believe in that kinda stuff...I find it really cute that you guys are most likely soulmates. That's what I came up with. That's what this resource book I have, told me."

  The memories I was seeing, were memories I actually had experienced, with Blayze. And the words I kept on hearing and repeating in my head were said by him.

  This kiss may have felt familiar, maybe, because in some strange way, we had already kissed.

  Blayze stopped kissing me, and simply stared at me. "I'm sorry Zann—"

  "I remember!" I interrupted. "I remember everything. From when I caught you in my bedroom snooping through my underwear drawer, to when you kissed me. Blayze, did all of those things really happen?"

  If it weren't for the darkness, I swore Blayze smiled. "Yes, and I was afraid that you'd forgotten all of those memories. I- I should've approached you in the lobby on Monday. And, I'm, uh, sorry for creeping you out in English."

  I giggled a little, shaking my head. "You wanted to give me space. Besides, if you would've approached me in the lobby and said to me that you saw my ghost while I was in a coma, I"—I laughed again—"would've looked at you as crazy!" Laughter took over me again, and I tried hiding my face by covering it with both my hands.

  Blayze took my hands from my face and held them. "So, does this mean you aren't mad at me?"

  "Yes...and that we're exactly where we should be."

  "Good." He leaned in and kissed me again.

  After a couple minutes, we both pulled away from the kiss. There was silence between us, but I finally had the guts to say one thing that'd been on the tip of my tongue. "I don't think I ever said this to you..."

  "What's that?" He said in an earnest tone.

  This was another major step for me. I needed to say it before he got to thinking something was wrong, and there was nothing wrong.

  Very slowly, I whispered, "I love you Blayze."

  He put a couple stray hairs that were most-likely covering my face, behind my right ear. "I love you too Zanna. I really do." He said this with resolve and confidence.

  Again, we didn't say anything for a long time. Just being here together, right now, was enough.

()()()

Sometime later...

  "So, if you're suspended from the football team? What does that mean for you?"

  "I don't know...I mean, my parents are disappointed in me, but I could redeem myself with baseball in the spring, or bring up those grades, and maybe I could start playing again in a couple weeks."

  "I'll help you with the grade situation."

  "You will?"

  "Yeah, besides, I'd hate to see you failing, and walking around not knowing what do with yourself."

  "..."

  "What was that kiss for? You could've warned me you know?!"

  "I'm your boyfriend. What do you mean 'what was that kiss for?'"

  "I'm a girl on crutches. You're going to make me fall on my butt if you randomly kiss me again."

  "Here, get on my back. I'll give you a piggy back ride."

  "Okay, but what will I do with the crutches?"

  "Huh? Oh, just leave 'em. I'll bring them back to you later."

  "Promise? I don't want my mom to think I lost them! She'd seriously throw a conniption."

  "Yeah, yeah...I know."

  "Good. Now, where are we going?"

  "I don't know, you tell me?"

  "Whatever. I trust you—I think. "

  "Zanna?"

  "Yeah, Blayze?"

  "I love you."

  "I love you too."

  Finis

()()()

()()()

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