More angst-
TW: swearing, Jeremy has Squip induced PTSD...self harm...take the angst ok

Jeremy didn't tell anybody what happened with the Squip. He never planned on it...but after some time...it kept coming up.

"Hey Jere you've been...off lately. Are you okay?" Michael asked calmly, he and Jeremy walking hand in hand back to Jeremy's house.

"Umm...Y-Yeah I'm fine." Jeremy realized he'd stuttered and gently slapped his wrist.

"Why'd you do that?"

"D-Do what?" He slapped it again.

"Slap yourself? Why are you slapping yourself?"

"Because I stuttered." Jeremy answered softly and Michael blinked in confusion. "Stuttering is unattractive..."

"That doesn't mean you need to slap yourself every time you do it."

"Y-Yes I do." Another slap.

"Stop doing that Jeremy. Give me your hands." Jeremy gave Michael his arms and Michael observed how red they were. "How much do you do this?"

"E-Every day." Jeremy answered, wanting to slap himself but Michael wouldn't let him. "Michael c'mon I-I gotta make myself know I fucked up." Jeremy was slowly tearing up and Michael noticed, wiping his tears away.

"Why? And tell me the truth..." Michael was speaking softly and Jeremy sobbed a bit.

"The...The Squip...It-It shocked me for...stuttering and-and  slouching, and thinking about s-sex and...and thinking about y-you. And...anytime I t-thought about even c-calling you and apologizing or anything...it shocked me...s-so I slap myself as punishment..." Michael stared at a now crying Jeremy, and held him close as they continued walking.

"Jeremy...shit...It's okay, c'mere, it's okay...it's gone now...it's gone...you don't have to be scared to stutter...or think of any of that stuff. You can be you...okay?"

"Michael...Michael what did I do to deserve you?" Jeremy asked and Michael kissed him softly, picking him up bridal style and continuing to walk.

"You didn't do anything to deserve me except be born..." Michael smiled softly down at Jeremy, who cuddled into him gently.

"I mean...I w-wasn't supposed to be born..." Jeremy thought back to how his mother had planned on aborting him, and if not that, giving him up for adoption the moment he was born.

"Hey, yes you were. You were put on the planet for a reason, and so was I, and we're together...this world put us together for a reason...okay?"

"Okay Michael..." Jeremy smiled softly into Michael's chest and Michael was glad he'd cheered him up.

***

(This is like two stories ok)

Michael knew there was a reason for why everything in life happened. There was a reason his father left, so his mother could finally marry somebody she truly loved.

There was a reason Alec was born so early. So Michael could have somebody to talk to when his mother was busy.

Most importantly, there was a reason Jeremiah Madison Heere had been brought into his life...and that was to teach him what true love felt like.

And Michael had never felt love like he had when he realized he loved Jeremy...he loved Jeremy more than anything it felt like.

But one thing that he never thought had any good reason for occuring...was Jeremy abandoning him.

He could never get Jeremy to talk about the Squip, the most he'd mention was the play...but Michael knew there was a reason behind why Jeremy left...why he cried himself to sleep at night...why he thought he was so horrible...and it all pointed to the Squip.

But Michael never truly did find out until a week after he and Jeremy had started dating, which he never thought would happen...

He'd been getting ready to leave and head home, grabbing his stuff and placing it in his bag, when he heard gentle singing coming from the bathroom...but not the kind of singing he'd heard from Jeremy before.

He moved closer to the door, being quiet as possible, and tried to make out what Jeremy was saying.

"Woah-oh. E-Everything about me is just t-terrible..." Michael moved closer, trying to figure out where Jeremy had gotten such the notion. "Woah-oh. Everything about me m-makes me wanna die." Michael felt his heart break at the words he heard coming out of Jeremy's mouth.

He knocked softly on the door, and it didn't open.

"Jeremy? Are you...are you okay?" He asked, not getting a reply. "Jeremy?" He heard sobs now...that was it. He put his hand on the knob and turned it, slowly opening it and freezing at Jeremy's bloodied arms. "Jeremy...?"

"M-Michael I...I..." Michael hugged him tightly, holding him in his arms and not letting him go.

"Why?"

"..."

"Jeremy why? What reason do you have to hurt yourself?" Michael asked through his forming tears.

"I'm... I'm useless Michael...I'm worthless...nobody wants me around... I-I'm a slob and I'm ugly and I can't even kill myself right...I can't even kill myself because you're still here..." Michael had known Jeremy was depressed before but this...was the words he'd ever seen it. "I can't k-kill myself because it would hurt you...even t-though I've already done that..."

"Jeremy...you aren't useless. You aren't worthless, you aren't a slob, and in no way are you ugly. You bring something to my life nobody else has. You bring actual fucking meaning to my existence. You mean more to me than anything...you mean a lot to not only me but our friends. Your dad. My moms...they all care about you...Who...who told you all that stuff?"

"T-The-" Jeremy couldn't say it. Michael knew what it was though.

"It's wrong. And it will always be wrong. Anything that says you aren't beautiful and says that you mean nothing is fucking stupid. Because you're amazing. You have always been and always will be the light of my life, and you're not just motivating me, but your father. Without you he'd still be pantsless and upset about your bitch of a mother. And what about Christine? She really had no friends until you. What about Rich and Jake? Sure they can be assholes but we helped them figure out who they were. We literally saved Rich from losing his damn mind! And I know you helped Brooke feel comfortable about actually being a lesbian...and I know you helped Jenna through her lack of attention...and you definitely helped me...through everything...so how can you say you're useless? Worthless? When you've done so much for so many people without realizing it...when you've done so much more than I ever would be able to..." Jeremy wrapped arms around Michael, and despite the blood staining his shirt, he let Jeremy hug him tighter.

"T-T-Thank you..." Jeremy whispered and Michael kissed his head softly.

"No problem Jere...it's my job. Now how about we clean up your arms and go to bed? You look exhausted."

"I...I am." Jeremy yawned(I just yawned irl O. M. G.)and Michael turned the sink on.

"Cmon let's do this as fast as possible because I don't wanna keep looking at the scars..." Jeremy nodded, letting Michael wash his arms off before drying them and bandaging them. "Now, let's get you to bed." Jeremy nodded, Michael picking him up and carrying him to his bed, which currently had space covering. "I'ma just take my shirt off, that okay with you?"

"Mmhm... Y-You're warm..." Jeremy rubbed his eyes softly and Michael smiled, his boyfriend was precious.

He took his shirt off and crawled into bed with Jeremy, the older male's back in his chest softly.

"Thank y-you for being so amazing Mikey..."

"I'm just doing what I was put on this Earth to do Jeremy." Michael kissed the behind of Jeremy's ear softly, and the brunette blushed, curling his knees up into the ball shape he was forming and closing his eyes. "I love you Jere."

"I love you too Micha..." Only a few minutes after did they both fall asleep, smiling gently.