This story is based on the song 'Wish you were Gay' by Billie Eilish

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Baby, I don't feel so good
Six words you never understood
I'll never let you go
Five words you'll never say
I laugh alone like nothing's wrong

Todoroki felt his stomach twist a little as he stood next to the greenette. Izuku and him had decided to get some ice cream, seeing it was pretty hot that day, however what the dual haired male forgot about was her.... Ochaco... Izuku's girlfriend... of course he'd ask her. It's not that Todoroki didn't like her but it's just that whenever she'd join Todoroki and Izuku, the greenette paid less attention to him... As they stood at the counter to order ice cream he could see how Izuku had wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, kissed her cheek and had that glimmer in his eyes that Todoroki longed so bad for... he longed for that same glimmer in Izuku's eyes when he'd look at the dual haired male... It hurts, to be friends with someone you like more than a friend but who you will never be able to get... Todoroki wished for Izuku to be happy of course but with /him/, with Todoroki. Yet, how sick it made him to see his best friend being so lovey dovey with his girlfriend, Todoroki couldn't stay away. Not seeing Izuku at all hurt him more than being around the greenette and having to pretend to be only friends... ''I think I'll go home... I don't feel so good...'' Todoroki said softly and nodded at the lovebirds who frowned a little. Ochaco nodded ''ohh okay... I hope you feel better soon! It's a pity you have to go so soon'' she said with a pitiful smile. Izuku frowned too and let go of Ochaco ''Indeed! I hope you'll be fine too! Maybe we can go get some ice cream next time, when you feel better!'' he suggested with a smile. The heterochromatic male nodded, yeah... next time... ''alright, have fun you two'' he hummed to which the other two nodded. It stung... the fact Izuku let him go.... Not staying with him... not that Shouto had expected the greenette to say 'I'll never let you go'... Shouto returned their smile a little, acting like nothing was wrong...

Four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us
One slipped away

Eventually it took Shouto four days to recover. He just... couldn't face Izuku... it felt so long... to not be around Izuku... however, something inside Todoroki prevented him from being near the greenette. Maybe it was because their latest Instagram post.... Midoriya had posted a picture of him, Todoroki and Ochaco, the three formed a close group of friends, or so it seemed, their own small crowd in the picture but the only thing Todoroki could see how Izuku had wrapped his arm around the dual haired male's shoulder. He could still feel it, the soft yet ragged skin of his best friend's arm with all the scars, or the warmth that radiated off it... how he wished Izuku meant it... that it wasn't just a friendly gesture... Though, the greenette had wrapped his arm around Ochaco's shoulder too... Ochaco and Izuku... Todoroki felt like he had slipped away from the crowd...

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way, mm

The first day Todoroki decided to go to school again, class 1-A went out on a day-trip for hero training. Izuku had to fight against Bakugou and after the fight Bakugou smashed Izuku's pride completely to the ground. The blond had told Izuku he'd never be a hero and he should just give up on his dream, that Izuku would be better off just jumping off the roof... that all because Midoriya told Bakugou the blond had played a mean game and his victory wasn't fair. When Bakugou had walked off Izuku was left with tears in his eyes... oh how that broke Todoroki's heart... his best friend and crush was crying over some asshole whose pride was far too big. Todoroki went up to Izuku, calling out for the greenette, wanting to pull him in a hug but it seemed his friend didn't even hear him. He didn't even look at Shouto... instead he looked to the other side where Ochaco had been calling out for him. Todoroki could feel tears in his own eyes, tears from frustration... sadness... anger.... That he wasn't able to comfort his friend... but also that said friend didn't even hear him hurt him so much... he just wanted to make Izuku feel okay... he knew the greenette didn't meant to hurt him... but still Todoroki couldn't help but feel his heart break a little.

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

The next week there was a party at Momo's house, for her birthday. They all ended up playing spin the bottle, even Izuku, Ochaco telling him it was okay because it was just a game. When Todoroki had spun the bottle, being dragged to the game by Momo, it ended on Izuku. The dual haired teen felt his cheeks heat up heavily but due to it being dark nobody saw it. His best friend just shot him a friendly smile and stood up. Todoroki walked over to him and could feel his heart race in his chest.... This was it... his first kiss with his crush... The kiss only lasted for a second but to Todoroki it felt like an eternity. He felt like he could explode from happiness, butterflies rushing through his belly. Yet that moment was shattered to pieces by a certain blond and a couple of words that crushed his heart. ''holy shit that's gay man'' Katsuki snorted and shook his head while taking a sip of his drink. Izuku frowned and glanced at his childhood friend ''Kacchan that's mean, there's nothing wrong with being gay you know. Though, me and Todoroki are just friends you know, right Todoroki-kun? And besides, I only like girls...'' the greenette blushed a little. Todoroki felt his whole world fall apart... that small ray of hope was now hidden behind a thick blanket of dark clouds. The heterochromatic eyed male had to do his best not to let the tears that rimmed his eyes flow over and just nodded... Todoroki should've left, gone home before the game even started... how he wished he didn't want to stay earlier.... Damn... if Izuku was just gay... how Todoroki wished that... for his friend to be gay....

Is there a reason we're not through?
Is there a 12 step just for you?
Our conversation's all in blue
11 'Heys' (Hey, hey, hey, hey)
Ten fingers tearing out my hair
Nine times you never made it there
I ate alone at 7, you were six minutes away

The next day, a Saturday, at 7 O'clock Todoroki was eating alone, his family not at home. His mind was racing about the day before... was Izuku really not gay...? Or was he scared to come out for it.... That Uraraka was just a cover for the greenette? Maybe he did like Todoroki but was he just scared to admit it... was that the reason they didn't become more than best friends... did Izuku even know Todoroki was gay... that he had the hots for the greenette? What if Izuku really wasn't gay... then why was he still friends with Todoroki... why didn't he cut off contact with the heterochromatic male yet... was there a reason Izuku continued to hang out with Todoroki? Their conversations weren't that special, just normal conversations between friends... they texted a lot too... most of their conversations were in blue, seeing Todoroki had a hard time seeing Midoriya lately... Todoroki's fingers raked through his hair, why did it have to be so difficult...? Why couldn't Midoriya just love him back...? Shouto's phone lit up, showing a notification from Izuku having posted something on his insta... he was eating with Uraraka in that new restaurant close to Todoroki's home... Izuku was just 6 minutes away... yet for Todoroki his best friend seemed unreachable.

How am I supposed to make you feel okay
When all you do is walk the other way?
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

A Thursday.... It happened on a Thursday.... Izuku came walking in with red eyes, pink cheeks, ears and nose... he had been crying... Todoroki hurried over to his best friend, wanting to know what happened to the other... He and Uraraka had gotten into a fight... was all the greenette could bring out without bursting out into tears or choking. Shouto pulled his friend in for a hug, however, when he wanted to tighten his arms around Izuku a little the smaller boy gently pushed him away ''I-I'm fine Todoroki-kun...'' he smiled sadly ''but thank you for trying to make me feel okay... I guess I feel a little better'' he nodded before walking to his table... walking the other way... He left Todoroki standing there with a hole in his heart. What was worse... Todoroki couldn't leave Izuku... his friend needed his comfort, even if the other was stubborn and said he was fine... that afternoon Shouto and Izuku decided to watch a movie in Midoriya's room, so the greenette could keep his mind off Ochaco for a while. They talked a little... about what happened, and Izuku ended up crying again. Eventually he cried himself to sleep, with Shouto having his arms wrapped around the smaller boy. God... to be so close to his crush yet to know this was nothing more than just some comforting, that this was the closest Shouto would ever get... maybe... the dual haired male should just accept it... the fact Izuku would never be his, to be happy that he was at least able to be Midoriya's best friend... god it was torturing him to have Midoriya in his arms like this... how much he wished he didn't want to stay right now... why couldn't Izuku just be gay....?

To spare my pride
To give your lack of interest an explanation
Don't say I'm not your type
Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation
I'm so selfish
But you make me feel helpless, yeah
And I can't stand another day
Stand another day

''Todoroki... are you gay...?'' was the question that started their conversation and what was almost Shouto's death because he swore he could almost feel his heart stop at that moment. Izuku looked up at him with his bright green eyes while the dual haired male was frozen in his spot... how... how had he found out about it... Shouto's mouth felt dry, what should he say, what if Izuku didn't want to hang out with him after this... or worse... found out Todoroki liked him... ''I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be rude... I was just wondering... you don't have to answer if you don't want to'' Izuku added quickly with an apologetic look. Slowly Todoroki shook his head ''n-no it's fine... I um... yes... I'm gay... h-how did you know...?'' he asked softly. Midoriya smiled again ''just a gut feeling...'' he answered. Todoroki bit his lip ''a-are you okay with it.... I mean... y-you don't think I'm disgusting...?'' he asked even softer. The smaller male shook his head ''no of course not! I don't mind it, if that's what makes you happy then I'm happy too! You're my friend, I'm very glad you told me, it must be scary but just know we'll always be friends, no matter what!'' Izuku beamed and gave the taller male a quick hug. Fuck... at that moment Todoroki just lost control, he couldn't help it... it just happened... suddenly he jerked forward and planted his lips on Izuku's, the dual haired teen's eyes were closed as he enjoyed the moment. Though when he realised what he had done he quickly pulled away. It seemed that Izuku was just as shocked as Todoroki himself was. The other's cheeks were flushed bright red... fuck... he fucked up didn't he... Todoroki fucked up... please... be gentle... 'spare my pride... don't tell me I'm not your type... just tell me I'm not your preferred sexual orientation... god I was so selfish... knowing Izuku had a girlfriend... that he wasn't gay... and still...' was what raced through Todoroki's mind. ''oh my...'' the other whispered as he touched his lips, which soon contorted into a sad smile ''I-I um... I don't know what to say... just-'' ''please don't... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that... I just couldn't help myself... I-I'm so so sorry... I understand it if you don't want to see me anymore or want to be friends no more... I-I'll go...'' Todoroki cut Izuku off. He didn't even wait for Midoriya's answer and rushed off, his heart clenching in his chest. That night Todoroki ignored every of Izuku's texts or calls, just crying his eyes out. God Izuku made him feel so helpless... he wasn't even sure if he could stand another day being close to Midoriya without feeling his heart race, his cheeks flush, his fingers tingling with the need of feeling the smaller male's skin under them...

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay

''now do you, Izuku Midoriya... Take Ochaco Uraraka as your lawful wife?'' the priest smiled upon the young couple who held each other's hands and stared lovingly into each other's eyes. Said greenette smiled and nodded ''I do...'' ''and do you, Ochacho Uraraka take Izuku Midoriya to be your lawful husband?'' ''I do...'' said brunette smiled. Todoroki watched his best friend kiss his newly wed wife, his heart tearing apart on the inside, but on the outside he smiled nonetheless and clapped like the rest of the people. It has been 10 years now... they all became pro heroes, found their lovers and some got married. It's been 10 years by now... and Todoroki still hadn't been able to get over Izuku, his heart still beated for the greenette, his fingers still tingled at the thought of Izuku's skin under them... After he had kissed the greenette Izuku continued to act normally, still sticking close to Shouto, as if nothing ever happened. Neither did he speak of it again. Todoroki tried his hardest too, to act like nothing happened... to keep their friendship alive... the same as before... but Todoroki knew things had changed... How bad the dual haired male wished he had been the one standing there with Izuku... that he was the one to make Izuku feel okay... Somewhere later in the night Midoriya had walked up to Todoroki, smiling up at him with a little bit of pity ''hey Todoroki... are you okay... I mean.. you know...'' he asked softly. The heterochromatic male forced a smile and nodded ''don't worry about me Midoriya, I'm okay... I've grown past my feelings for you... I'm fine I swear...'' Shouto lied... he had never gotten over Izuku, how could he? ''but congratulations, I'm so happy for you! You two are perfect together... I hope you may have a bright future'' he smiled. Everything to see his best friend happy... even if it broke Shouto on the inside... ''thank you so much! I hope so too! But will it be a future with you in it too?'' he asked softly. The taller male was a bit surprised by the other's question but nodded ''of course... I'll always be here for you...'' he hummed. Izuku smiled brightly and hugged his best friend ''thanks... you're amazing!'', a hug Todoroki returned tightly, his lips quivering as his smile fell, a lone tear sliding down the taller male's cheek as he closed his eyes. God how much Shouto wished he didn't wanna stay... How much he wished Izuku was gay... 

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O my god, I'm so sorry... this looked so much better in my head XD, it sucked I know...

It also came out much longer than expected but okay... let's hope my next one-shots will be a bit better lol.