A collab with Jena (Midnight_Shadow_96), Kat (xKittaMew), Scar (_Amethyx_), and Lax (ZekeLipse). Text on italicized is the original text. Sorry if I edited so much.

Also, trigger warning: mentions of cutting.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

How hard was it to actually forgive yourself?

All his life, he had always told his brothers that it was not their fault whenever something wrong happened that was out of their control. Blaze's tendency to sleepwalk is an example of that. Quake also tends to forgive them for anything that they had done wrong, provided that they are truly sorry for it.

But not himself. No, he just cannot forgive himself. He doesn't know how to, and even if he did, he won't. He doesn't want to.

It's all his fault.

It's all his fault that Thunderstorm is dead.

He held his brother tightly in his arms, silent tears streaming out from his golden-brown eyes.

Thunderstorm looked pale, paler than his brothers had ever seen him. There was a huge gaping hole on his stomach, the slow trickle of blood staining his clothes. The lightning elemental's eyes were open, but the scarlet red orbs were devoid of life.

Quake glared at Retak'ka with pure unadulterated hatred and for the first time in his life, the elemental master felt fear. He shivered at the dark look that the earth elemental was giving him, a look that promised pain without mercy.

The earth elemental gently laid down his brother on the ground and stood up, not taking his eyes away from Retak'ka.

The gentle mother was now gone. In his place was a rage-filled earth elemental who wanted to tear Retak'ka apart limb by limb. It was like something has snapped inside of him when Thunderstorm died.

"You," Quake growled, summoning back his earthen gloves. "I won't forgive you from killing Thunderstorm!"

Golden-brown eyes flashed red as Quake moved at inhuman speed. He only had one goal in mind, and that is to cause pain to the person who killed his brother.

Everyone could only stare as Retak'ka and Quake viciously battled with one another. The ground shook, and earth spikes appeared from the ground. Lassos of light erupted from Retak'ka's back, trying to destroy the earth spikes, but more and more kept coming.

The rest kept their distance from the said fight, knowing that at his state, Quake will be able to handle it. However, that does not stop them from worrying about their brother.

What are morals? Whatever they are, Quake threw all of them to trash as he punched, kicked, and even toyed with his victim. There was barely a scratch on the earth elemental, while the other was covered in cuts and bruises.

Retak'ka, seeing that he won't be able to land an attack on the earth elemental, tried to attack the others, but Quake wouldn't even let him go beyond an arm's reach. Every time Retak'ka tried to get away, he would find a part of his body broken by the earth elemental.

Rage had blinded Quake to the point that he did not know of anything else anymore. His mind only focused on Retak'ka and on getting his revenge.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It wasn't obvious at first glance, but Thunderstorm was the closest element to everyone. Perhaps it's the unique way he shows how much he cared for them all.

True as it may be, but he specifically shared a special bond with Quake and Cyclone, being the original trio. They were overprotective of each other. If you mess with one of them, you mess with the other two as well.

Their bond was so special that if one of them dies, it will be like a part of them dies as well. They're like a three-part puzzle, if a piece is missing, nothing will ever be the same.

When Thunderstorm died, something snapped inside of them. Quake turned into a bloodthirsty monster that wanted revenge. And as for Cyclone...

Cyclone didn't know what to think. He refused to believe that his brother, his Abang Halilintar, was dead. He thought of everything as a nightmare, and he just wished that he'll wake up soon.

But one look at the body beside him, he knew shit's real. He felt the unfamiliar feeling of sadness well up inside of him, and he stood there, unmoving as the battle raged around him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After a while, Retak'ka started to feel exhausted. He couldn't believe that this one boy was able to hold up against him well, considering that he managed to beat them earlier so easily.

Quake didn't seem tired at all as he kept attacking Retak'ka left and right, not caring how much damage he inflicted on the latter. Despite this, Retak'ka was holding his ground.

Until he accidentally slipped and fell. Quake used this to his advantage and trapped Retak'ka on the ground.

"I did tell you that you'll regret killing Thunderstorm," Quake said darkly, cracking his gloved fist. "But I was just starting."

Quake abandoned his powers in favor of punching Retak'ka repeatedly in the face. The blows he dealt brought more than just pain. It was aimed to avenge the fallen, to kill. Even if Retakka had fallen senseless to Quake's brutality, the elemental himself did not stop from his mindless, rage-driven assault.

Quake hit him until his arms were numb and his shoulders ached with agony. Alien blood splattered on his face and clothes, even creating a puddle on the floor around them, but he did not stop for one second. He pounded his corpse to the ground even as he struggled to breathe.

"Quake," Cyclone rasped, limping up to him. "It's over." His voice cracked, tears glistening in his eyes. "He's dead."

Still blinded by rage, Quake didn't hear his plea. His jaw was clenched so tight he'd cracked a tooth, his muscles tortured to the point like it's been severed by knives. Yet he never stopped, splattering blood and gore everywhere.

"Quake," Cyclone sobbed, grabbing his shoulders and tried to pull him from the mutilated body. "Please, it's over! Stop!"

Quake roared at him and wrestled free from his grip, snapping back to the villain in fury. But in a moment of clarity, he could see the destruction that he'd caused: a body so broken and battered that it could no longer be called a soul that had once breathed the same warm air they once did.

His shoulders sagged, breath turning slow and shallow. All of a sudden, the fight was drained from him and he fell to his knees, collapsing against the pile of blood and broken organs.

He's done it. He'd killed.

Cyclone sobbed openly and fell to his knees right next to Quake, arms wrapping around him as he tried to control himself.

But Quake's face was dry from tears, as he was beyond shocked to do so.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Solar and Thorn, barely alive, crying over Thunderstorm's unmoving body.

From that day onwards, he felt something inside him snap like a red thread cut by a pair of scissors.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What had he done? He had succeeded in his revenge, but at what cost?

He had taken a life. It wasn't that he wasn't glad that Retak'ka was dead, because he was. It's just the fact that he had taken the life of someone that was weighing him down.

What does that make him now? Was he a murderer? Or will he still be considered a hero for killing a villain?

Isn't revenge supposed to be a sweet victory? If that's the case, then he should feel glad. But he can only feel numbness, perhaps even despair at losing someone. But not joy. After all, how could he feel happy when his brother laid unmoving a few feet away?

Speaking of Thunderstorm, he wondered what their life would be without him. He was the first one to manifest, after all. How will they manage without the hot-headed tsundere in their life?

Quake stared at the scene around him, his eyes landing on the pair kneeling beside Thunderstorm's unmoving body.

Solar and Thorn were nothing short of devastated at the turn of events. The nature elemental's big, innocent eyes were brimmed with tears, falling silently down his cheeks as he cried against Solar's shoulder.

Solar was hugging him tightly, trying but failing to keep the tears from streaming down his face. His visor had fallen sometime earlier, revealing his gray eyes as he cried over his brother's death.

Not a few feet from the pair sat Blaze and Ice in a similar position. Ice held his twin brother as he loudly sobbed against his chest, muttering about how unfair life is. The ice elemental just rubbed Blaze's back silently as he too, had tears streaming down his pale face.

***

Quake felt his heart break at the scene, but not as much as the scene in front of him.

"Thundy..." Cyclone sobbed brokenly, his shoulders shaking as Quake held him tightly in his arms.

Quake started crying as well as two of them reminisced about the memories they had with Thunderstorm. They couldn't forget him, now will they be able to forget him. He was one of them, a significant part of their tragic life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

No one was the same after the incident, but Quake and Cyclone had it the worst. They were the two closest to Thunderstorm, and naturally, his death hit them hard.

Quake was still the usual: being a mom to everyone and trying to protect them from everything. But if one knew him well, they would see that he had become a lot more quiet and withdrawn. You can also hear him crying in his room at night, though he always pretends that nothing is wrong.

But Cyclone was different. He was no longer cheerful, and his eyes dulled to the lightest of gray. He was flat out depressed, and he had taken to locking himself to his room, to which only Quake can get him out of it.

But no one had an idea of the extent of their suffering.

Until that one time.

Solar had gone to the kitchen one night to grab some coffee when he saw Quake unconscious on the corner of the room.

It was a brutal sight. Quake was ghostly white and blood was continuously pouring down from his left arm. There was a bloody knife beside him, a few millimeters away from his right hand grip.

Solar abandoned his search for coffee and instead, rushed to get a towel and a medical kit. He had made quite a commotion that his brothers woke up to see what's going on.

The others were nothing short of horrified when they found out that Quake was cutting, and that he's damn near dying that night if it wasn't for Solar. The light elemental had managed to stop the blood and bandaged his left arm.

When Quake woke up a few hours later, his brothers had vehemently forbade him from using knives for more than a week. His brothers had taken over in chopping the ingredients whenever he's cooking. Even if they did finally allow Quake to use knives again, at least one of them stood guard in the kitchen to keep an eye on him.

They knew that Quake was irritated by their antics, but they can't shake off the image of a bloodied and unconscious Quake in their minds. It was better to be safe than sorry.

The same thing happened to Cyclone, but with him locking himself up in his room, it was hard to know what he's doing.

It was Blaze and Thorn who found him. They had tried to get Cyclone to open up to them, but despite their furious knocking, the wind elemental wasn't answering.

They had Quake to make Cyclone open up the room for them, but even then, he wasn't answering. The earth elemental then tried to get the duo away, but they persisted. Quake saw the worried look in their eyes, so he conceded and opened up Cyclone's room using the spare keys that he had.

The duo rushed into the room, furiously thanking Quake, who went back to cleaning the house.

They found Cyclone in the corner of the bathroom, bleeding purposely from his self-inflicted cuts. Blaze went to stop the bleeding while Thorn called the others for help.

Quake was the first one to arrive, and he immediately tended to his wounds. Fortunately for them, the wounds weren't deep like the one that Quake once did.

But unfortunately for them, they had found a lot of old and new cuts in his arms. Apparently, Cyclone has been cutting for a while now.

Once he was done, Quake asked the others to leave the room. They had protested, saying that they want to stay with them, but he managed to convince them otherwise. One by one, his brothers trickled out of the bedroom door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The rest of the brothers quietly assembled in the living room. No one spoke, their minds still reeling from the scene they had just witnessed.

Thorn was the one to break the silence. "They're getting worse, aren't they?" he asked the others softly.

"I don't understand," Blaze said, tears springing in his eyes at the thought of his best friend suffering. "Why can't they let us help them?!"

Everyone agreed with the fire elemental, though they did not voice their thoughts out loud. They'd rather not speak up, because they didn't even know half of the reasons. However, that didn't stop them from worrying about their two eldest brothers currently residing in Cyclone's bedroom.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Quake had changed Cyclone's clothes and moved him to his bed, tucking him in. He then took the chair by the desk and moved it near the bed. Taking a seat, he watched the gaunt face of his once cheerful brother as he cried on the suffering that they had to endure.

"I'm sorry, Cyclone," he sobbed. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, just like I couldn't protect him."

Quake soon forced himself to straighten up. He can't afford to be weak, especially in Cyclone's situation. Whatever he's feeling right now, it will have to be buried for the time being.

Cyclone needs him.

Quake looked at his brother's unconscious face. Cyclone was very pale, and there were bags under his eyes, a proof that the wind elemental wasn't getting enough sleep.

He missed Cyclone's cheerful personality. It was like it had died with Thunderstorm. Cyclone's cerulean blue eyes became empty, devoid of any emotion, unlike before where it was full of life.

Quake ran a hand against Cyclone's half-white hair. If this continues, Cyclone will fade. No one knows if he will fade completely, or he will become a reverse version of himself. Neither of the two is particularly good.

Quake decided at that moment that he will do everything in his power to not let that happen.

Even at the cost of his own life and sanity.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Original text:

How hard was it to actually forgive yourself?

All his life, he had told his brothers that it's not their fault if something goes wrong. And he always forgives them for anything that they had done wrong.

But not himself. No, he cannot forgive himself. He doesn't know how to. And frankly, he doesn't want to.

He looked at his brother's face looking at it with tears going down his face. He held his brother's hands tight. He let's go of his brother's hand and stood up he looked towards Retak'ka "I-I won't forgive you for killing Thunder!" He yelled with a dark tone as he cried and ran towards Retak'ka and use his powers to attack him multiple times at once. The other brothers looked at Quake. The gentle Mom was no longer there. They can see the hatred from his eyes.

So, everyone could only stare- the elements watch Retak'ka and Quake battle each other, viciously. They don't know if one of them, or all of them should join in but their fight was so intense, the brothers agree to take a step out of this "fight." Quake only focuses on Retak'ka, and Retak'ka also focuses back on him but also at the others. The mother of earth only distracted him to not go anywhere near and also attacking his family from the distance. His rage had blinded him to not even know what's happening but one thing in mind, revenge. For example, revenge for everyone. Revenge for himself. ... Revenge for Thunderstorm.

Thunderstorm is the closest element to everyone, despite his emotion he's showing to them but that's just his usual self of the way showing love and care. Yet, he shows much respect to two certain brothers, Quake and Cyclone. The original trio. Of course, if something happened to one of the three, they'll easily punish the person who did it. However, if someone or something killed one of them. It's a missing puzzle piece, and part of themselves was missing without the other. It'll snap them and turn them crazy or upset. The meaning of upset is depression, and you can't even feel yourself anymore, you needed the other back to feel.

Quake snapped when Thunderstorm died in his arms. He's now fighting with Retak'ka, wanting- needed for revenge.

As for Cyclone, he also snapped but a depression slowly bubble up inside him. He's in a mental shock of what happened. He thinks it's a dream or nightmare. Yet, it's not, and the depression continues to grew inside of him. Only he can only do was standing still with his others brother concerning on him and to Quake.

After quite a while Retak'ka started to feel exhausted. He couldn't believe that this one boy manage to fight against him that well. Especially when he managed to beat the boy and his brothers so easily earlier. But the boy didn't seem to be tired at all he kept giving out attacks left and right. The other brothers still looking at their brother worriedly. Retak'ka accidentally slipped and he fell. Quake used his powers to trap Retak'ka on the ground and sat in Retak'ka's chest he started punching Retak'ka's face over and over again.

The blows he dealt brought more than just pain. It was aimed to avenge the fallen, and to kill. Even if Retakka had fallen senseless to Quake's brutality, the elemental himself did not stop from his mindless, rage-driven assault.

Quake hit him until his arms were numb, until his shoulders arched with agony. His alien blood splattered on his face, his clothes, creating a puddle on the floor around them, but he did not stop for one second. He pounded his corpse to the ground even as he struggled for breath.

"Quake," Cyclone rasped, limping up to him in dread. "It's over." His voice cracked, tears glistening in his eyes. "He's dead."

In his rage, Quake didn't hear his plea. His jaw was clenched so tight he'd cracked a tooth, his muscles tortured to the point like it's been severed by knives.

Yet he never stopped, splattering blood and gore everywhere.

"Quake," Cyclone sobbed, grabbing his shoulders and tried to pull him from the mutilated body. "Please, it's over! Stop!"

Quake roared at him and wrestled free from his grip, snapping back to the villain in fury. But in his moment of clarity, he could see the destruction that he'd caused: a body so broken and battered that it could no longer be called a soul that had once breathed the same warm air they once did.

His shoulders sagged, breath turning slow and shallow. All of a sudden the fight was drained from him, and he fell to his knees, dropping down to the pile of blood and broken organs.

He's done it. He'd killed.

Cyclone sobbed openly and fell to his knees right next to Quake, arms wrapping around him as he tried to control himself.

But Quake's face was dry from tears, as he was beyond shocked to.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Solar and Thorn barely alive, both crying over Thunderstorm's unmoving body.

From that day onwards, he felt something inside him snap like a red thread cut by a pair of scissors.

What the hell did he do?... No. He did it, his revenge is succeed but he just killed an alien. Never once in Quake's life killed a person nor alien, but he did. He's a murderer, yet, at the same time he's also the hero of the galaxy. Is he the mix of both, hero and murderer? The pacifist and genocide.

Anyways, isn't revenge suppose to be a victory, a sweet victory, but sometimes he's one of the people who didn't feel the full filled revenge celebration. He feels empty. He can't feel anything at all!

Now, he didn't mention something, Thunder, he's dead right there on the solid ground, it's... horrifying to take a glance to him. What does he do know with his brothers of their lives? Without Thunder that is.

Quake shakily look at his bloody hands, his earth gloves covered the dark and sticky red liquid. Some of it was on his clothes and face. It's disgusting, however, won't mind for the first time ever being this much mess. The "mother earth" of and for his family then glances to his brothers, unemotionally.

The "photosynthesis" twins, Solar and Thorn. Both of them were near Thunder's unmoving body, shakily. Thorn big innocent eyes filled with big fat tears as they slowly goes down, dripping and drenching on Solar's clothes as he was hugging him. Solar does hugged back, his visor had fallen onto the ground and he doesn't even pick it up, he reveal his true colour gray shining eyes. Solar tears up of the death of his rival... and brother.

While for the opposite twins, Blaze and Ice. Ice comfortingly hugged his brother by the shoulder while also patting his twin's head and himself quietly crying. Blaze cried with him, his body shaking.

Lastly...

"Cy..." Quake mumbles, feeling his heart shattered of the sight.

Cyclone was heavily sobbing under his breath, "Thundy.. T-Thundy... Big brother.." he mumbles as his hot salty tears coming down on his cheeks like a waterfall, non-stop. Then his lips quivered violently, feeling his emotions breaking through piece by piece. Before he also bit his lip, and now loudly cried out as it echoes through the galaxies, "THUNDERSTORM!!!"

Tears kept flowing down Cyclone's eyes behind him Quake started crying too. The two's memories flashing back showing the times they spent together. Before and after the others were born. Before they noticed the other brothers had joined them and we're all crying for Thunderstorm's death. No one was the same after this.

Quake and Cyclone had it the worst. The two were closer to Thunderstorm more than anyone. Quake was still the usual mom but he no longer acted the same. He was more quiet he wasn't as cheerful and you can see him crying in his room when he's alone. As for Cyclone he had a huge change. He was no longer joyful. He was flat out depressed and would always lock himself in his room. The only one who can enter or get him out of that room was Quake. The two still hasn't gotten over Thunderstorm's death. Heck they've gotten suicidal. Once Solar was going to the kitchen to grabs some coffee but then he saw Quake in the corner of the kitchen. He came over to see blood flowing down Quake's left arm and a knife covered in blood in his right, he was unconscious. Solar rushed to grab a towel and the medical kit and called out to the others for help. He used the towel he took and held it down on Quake's hand trying to stop the blood. The others except for Cyclone entered the kitchen. They were shocked to see what happened and they all worked together to take care of the wounds. When Quake woke up the brothers except Cyclone banned him from using knives for a whole week. When Quake needed to cut up some ingredients one of them will cut it for him. After a week they let him use the knives again but under supervision this went on for more than a week and they finally trust Quake to not cut, well they hope he wouldn't.

Cyclone was the same. Cyclone case happened in Cyclone's bathroom that was connected to his room. Blaze and Thorn was worried about their fellow trio troublemaker. They kept calling cyclone to open the door but still no answer. After a while they decided To ask Quake to call out to Cy to open the door. But surprisingly still no answer. Blaze and Thorn kept bugging Quake to open Cy's room. Quake finally gave in and took the extra set of keys that he had of everyone's rooms. He opened the door and the two troublemakers rushed inside. Quake went back to taking care of the chores. The two couldn't find him in the room the only other place was the bathroom they knocked on it asking for permission to enter but there was still no response. The said sorry before opening the door and entered. They were shocked to see Cyclone in the corner of the bathroom unconscious and holding a bloody cutter on his right hand and alot of cuts on his left hand. Blaze quickly took the towel that was nearby and tried to stop the bleeding he ask thorn to call the others and focused on Cyclone again. Thorn did as he was told and called the others everyone rushed in to the bathroom where Cyclone and blaze were. Quake tended to Cyclone's wounds and took care of it.

Apparently Cyclone has been cutting for a while now. There were old cuts and new ones. Quake asked the others to leave the room. The others objected and wanted to stay in the room but in the end Quake managed to convince them to leave. Quake changed Cy's clothes and moved him to his bed. He took the chair by the desk and placed it near the bed. He sat on it as he watched Cy's unconscious state and he cried while holding Cy's hand.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm so dearly sorry, I didn't protect him quicker. I'm sorry that I didn't help you sooner." Then he sobs harder while shakily whispering, "I'm sorry for not keeping an eye on you like Thunder did... I'm sorry, Thunder... Cy..."

When Quake heavily sobs near his dearest unconscious state brother. Never he knows that his one of the siblings was sneakily peeking in through the door. Thorn pouts while softly whispering "Mama" behind the door, worriedly. Of course, he know that Quake didn't hear the leaf element due to his cries. He doesn't know what to do. He needs to tell the others about this. So, Thorn slowly left after a short concern glance to his brother.

***

"It's getting worse! Why can't they let us help them? Why would they move on?"

Blaze voice echoes through the hallways, his voice softly roars out loud in their living room where the rests of the elements except Quake, Cy... and Thunderstorm. Everyone gave Blaze a frown, feeling the same thing, yet, they rather not let their emotions out because some of them knew half of the reasons. So does Blaze. Anyways, after Blaze had calmed down, the four of the siblings continue their conversation about this situation.

Meanwhile in Cyclone's bedroom, Quake realized something. He can't afford to be weak, especially at Cyclone's situation. Whatever he's feeling right now, it will have to be buried for the time being.

Cyclone needs him.

Quake looked at his brother's unconscious face. Cyclone was very pale, and there were bags under his eyes, a proof that the wind elemental wasn't getting enough sleep.

He missed Cyclone's cheerful personality. It was like it had died with Thunderstorm. Cyclone's cerulean blue eyes became empty, devoid of eny emotion, unlike before where it was full of life.

Quake ran a hand against Cyclones half-white hair. If this continued, Cyclone will fade. No one knows if he will fade completely, or he will become a reverse version of himself. Neither of the two are particularly good.

Quake decided at that moment that he will do everything in his power to not let that happen.

Even at the cost of his own life and sanity.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I cut some parts of the oneshot, intending to put it on a separate one. So yeah, there's a part two of this one.

AND I'M FUCKING FINALLY DONE WITH EDITING THIS ONESHOT. AFTER TWO FUCKING WEEKS WHERE I'M TRYING TO FIND TIME TO ACTUALLY DEDICATE MYSELF INTO THIS.

Anyway, I probably won't be updating anytime soon because of school works. Though I really hope you like this story.

Lovelots,

Glace, the Queen of Angst