So um.. drama happened =^=|||

Anyways, I'm here to tell y'all that I won't be updating as much.
School is just around the corner.
But don't worry, I'll update again soon~ maybe when it's March or when I have free time!
I'll always be online though, I might be like in and out of wattpad.

So if anyone have truth or dares just yeet it at me!

Also, you can find me at IG- @ arieneriz
You can talk to me any time you want!
I don't mind, I already talk to a lot of people and knowing their problems are similar to each other and especially mine-
Made me realize that everyone is going through the same thing.

Before the new decade takes over, I just want to say..

I'm sorry

I'm sorry if I made mistakes
I'm sorry if I ever hurt you
I'm sorry for being stupid
I'm sorry for being rude
I'm sorry for making drama happened
I'm sorry for dragging y'all into it
I'm sorry for everything
I.. I'm also sorry for lying
I'm so sorry-

I am actually hurt in many ways, directly and indirectly.
I don't dare to say it out loud.
Not unless, you had provoked me too much.
I am actually tired right now..
I am not actually stable..
I have had my breakdowns
I am stress
I am worried mix with anger
I do have those negative thoughts but I chose to ignore them but it only made it worse for me
I do have thoughts on quitting wattpad, leaving IG, deleting WhatsApp, everything!
But I couldn't.. because-

Wattpad: you sweet readers always made my day and I just couldn't help but to update, and it's also because I have way too many ideas for the dares and truths, that's just how it is-

IG: oh my god, I don't know how to start.. you guys are everything to me.. I love you guys so much.. we may have ups and downs by that is why I still stuck by! Because you guys make my online life interesting and fun!

WhatsApp: it's where I have to communicate with my fams and school life, so I can't just delete my WhatsApp and also, it's where I can RP with my friend and talk to them!

Other apps: it's too precious to be deleted away-

Wkndjdjdjdjhdsh I hate that I can get mad so damn easily-
Some people are actually scared of me, I find it a good thing and sad thing..
Good that they at least don't bother me as much
Sad that.. I don't want people to view me as 'godzilla' or smth like that
It just hurts-

I just.. I'm sorry.. I sound pathetic right now and sounding like a victim of something.. but eh- at least I know I'm a living human being not a robot-

Kahdbdjshsbdbdb

I
Hate
Mix
Feelings

It's so hard to express when I have that!

Like one minute I'm a positive bitch
The other minute I'm a lonely depressed hooman
And the other minute is where I'm being sarcastic woooman

Yes, I pick up these traits from IG-

They have affected my life so much that I don't mind at all.

By the way, I respect, care and love you readers!
I'm quiet happy that you guys enjoy my cringy-ass Truth or dare book!
One of my most proudest books ever-
You readers need to know that, you aren't suffering alone, you can see that I am also suffering with life.
Depression and anxiety shits runs in my vein- blood.
But that doesn't stop me from well- doing wattpad! Reply to comments! RP with you guys! And so much more.
I am grateful to have you guys as my readers, like I really am!
Some may be salty to me and hurt me in some ways but I don't mind!
Y'all are probably going through some shits and probably thinking my life is heaven. But guess what? My life is hell.

Just-

If you ever need someone to talk with, I am here! //all might// but maybe it's better to communicate through my IG, wattpad is mean to me.

You can see how my mood keep changing in every sentences, words and paragraphs or whatever

Onto a sensitive topic(if you are that sensitive then better you skip this) (Note; don't take this as offensive or smth like that because I just want to point this out, I'm worry okay?)

A lot of people are dying now, good people.
I don't really mind them dying by fate because it was meant to happen-

Thorn: mommy.. why does good people had to die?

Earthquake: go to your garden and which flower will you pick?

Thorn: ..the good and beautiful ones

It's sad but it's the truth, good people are dying so they don't have to face the wrath of this world anymore.

Unlike suicide;

Okay okay, Suicide is really a hard one to tackle but I really want to talk about it.

Suicide. Is. Never. The. Answer

Self-harm
You may feel good and all but don't you consider the damage you had done to your own body? Actually, that body doesn't belong to you in the first place. Also, your parents work hard to get you(for the ones having good parents and as for the bad ones- let's just ignore them)
I know that you are depressed and stuffs but please, there are variety of ways to help you, and that isn't one of them.
Talk to people you trust wether it's online or in real life, there is always one person out there to help you.

But do keep an open mind when people are helping you, they are desperately trying to help you because they probably went through the same damn thing and wants you to walk backwards, away from the wrong path and drags you to the rightful ones.

As for killing yourself, it is never the solution, you are bound to die but killing yourself is not the option.

I am religious person, yes, I am and I learned something from it that-

If you do suicide, instead of ending your suffering. You will just suffer even more. The way you kill yourself that is the way you will suffer repetitively until well, god forgive you.
It won't just effect you but also your family and friends,
Your family who had given you everything and tried their best for you ended up knowing all their efforts are wasted(for the good parents, for the bad ones, slap them)
Your friends who had desperately helping you when you needed them and knowing that you had kill yourself, it's heart breaking and they would think all their help are just.. useless.

There is a saying-

"They only care when you are gone."

And I'm like- are you sure about that?

There is at least, one person out there, worry sick about you and you totally forget about them?

You may think like-

I'm pathetic and stupid- I don't deserve anyone and they deserve me and blablabla- something along those lines.

Come on dear, slap yourself. There is a purpose of you living on this earth and you haven't even found it yet and you give up?

Okay yes, I give up to at times but please, get your life back to together ma'am(sir) that is the reality of this world and you haven't experienced the adulthood life.

Don't think I'm talking highly and stuff right now-

I'm saying this to make y'all realize I care.

It's okay to think suicidal thoughts or negative thoughts, it just show you that you are actually a human.
But just maybe not too much of it.

We are created imperfect

But

We are created as fair in this world
(Yes, there are the special people out there and it's a test for them.)

Be glad you have all your body parts, every senses and well everything!

Find positivities in smol things in this huge life like for example-

"I failed the exam, my life is ruin."
Turn that into
"Oh? I failed? Oh well, at least I tried my best and next time I will do better then this!"

I know it's easy talk but why not give it a try?

I am not mature and wise yet, I'm still in my teenage years but this is all I can say for everyone who is reading my book.

Like I said, if you want to talk to me, go onto my IG! I will try my best to you but there is guaranteed that every word I'm saying will help your daily life.
Some will be useful but some won't.
You just need to know when to use it.

I should stop now, read it with an open mind, don't just straight up be negative about it.

Some advises I got throughout the 2017-2019 years

"Don't wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise you'll run out of time."

"Time is precious, don't let it fly away. You will miss out the real fun if you do. So please, use your time wisely because we won't know when will our time ends."

If you are sad, cry
If you are happy, smile
If you have a problem, ask
If you are scared, close your eyes
If you are hurt, scream
If you want to give up, watch at how much you have made

"Comfort yourself, tell yourself, there is no such thing as a perfect world."

"Your friends and family are just a support from behind, you are the one who have to move forward and achieve it, don't worry, they will cheer you on from behind."

"Don't just hope for a better future, do something about, not laying down on your bed and on your phone 24/7, do something to make your life happy and simple."

"Problems will always burst into your life and drag you down, their sole purpose is to help you to get through your future life. It's your choice to fall or to stand up and fight."

"From friends to best friends to strangers to friends to sisters(brothers) don't worry, everyone is going through the same thing about friendship."

To end this off-

"Love yourself first before loving anyone else, you can use others love to love yourself but mostly, you need to find the love in you, it may be hard but I know you will find it."

I have more to say but maybe I'll leave it to that~

Please don't take this personally, be salty about it, talked back at me, telling me that it's just life or whatever
I am tired with hearing those words

Without winter there wouldn't be spring
Without the rain there wouldn't be rainbow
Meaning.. every downs you have in your life will always have their ups
Don't believe me? Then that's okay..

Live your life and good luck

B out~