pls help this isnt healthy because every time i talk to san i get even more smitten, even though we talk about the horrification that is doki doki literature club-

san told me how she was playing that game and i was like,,,, i'm not playing that because i'm really into angst fanfics lately so i didn't want to play a fluffy game in the middle of that lmao and she was like

'this isn't a happy vn....'

i thought it had some heavy angst so i was like oh?? i should get it then??

biggest mistake of my life because the very smoothness of our conversation had to take a dark turn after that smh

wHY WOULD YOU NOT TELL ME WHAT WAS LYING AHEAD OHMYGOD W H Y

'go listen to bolbbalgan fo therapy' iM CRYING BECAUSE SHE REMEMBERS WHEN I DESCRIBED BOL4 AS THERAPY AND NOW SHE'S USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO GET AWAY FROM THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT WARN ME SMH @ SAN

'did u finish it HAHA' she's going to be the death of me

and i wasnt joking, i really am terrified af i cant even sleep with the lights out now, i've been suffering for three nights straight

thats so cute omg the fact that she started to play it again even though she's scared i feel touched???

aN ACTUAL BALL OF PRECIOUSNESS I WANNA PROTECT HER BUFSGRSG

if only i wasnt just as chicken as her rn

wII MUSIC OMG QT OMFGFDGBDFG I LOVE HER SO MUCH

i have a text from her rn even saying 'why dont u love urself' and im going to keep that text to respond later because i cant think of anything cute or witty to say to her in response yet-- //slapped

oH BTW MY BEST FRIEND GOT MARRIED YESTERDAY IM SCREAMING

i wasn't feeling very healthy but i went to his wedding anyways because he's my bestfriend and i promised him i wouldn't miss it for the world??? though wearing those heels would have been the biggest mistake of my life, especially on a highkey rainy day like yesterday and there were puddles and i kri

the first problem was the moment the cab stopped at the venue

and this one guy i dated during high school was there at the door with his friends

i continued facepalming while i waited for the cab driver to hand me the change smh of all the awkward interchanges that could happen, it had to happen evEN BEFORE I GET THERE SMH

so i kinda,,, wobbled around in my heels,,, and pretended not to see him and i went to the door,,, and i heard someone call my name and it turned out to be a really close friend of mine let's call him crapbag for ease (he is one so dw)

so crapbag tells me that he's waiting for his other friends and he was lowkey laughing

thanks i know it's awkward can you kindly fuck off

anyway, so i said bye to him and went inside the venue and fnsggu i lost my shit when i saw my best friend (let's call him besfrenigga because he calls himself that) wearing a tuXEDO

and it hit me then that wowowow my best friend of three years is really married now

and when he saw me he was all wriggling his eyebrows and i poked my head away from this one pillar i was standing behind and his girlfriend - i mean wife oHMYGOD HOW DO I GET USED TO THIS - was like HI and they asked me to go and eat a lot of food so i went

and im so awkward with socialising so i just got food and sat at this table because no one else i know was there????? awkward ??? but like a few minutes later crapbag showed up and started up a conversation so i  wasnt so awkward anymore

it was really nice to just watch besfrenigga and his wifuu talking to each other and taking pictures together and they're just so cute and everyone at our table started talking about people getting married and a couple who sat with us told us they woud get married probably next year and i sigh aggressively because

um

i still have to get a good job and save up to go watch bangtan

the last thing on my head is getting married

pls calm down

also how do i get married to someone knowing im taesexual lmao

i swear bts is going to be the end of me

anyway, after we ate, i had to leave early because a cousin of mine was getting married too so she had her wedding at the same time as besfrenigga's so i had to go to that party too

//cries with high heels

so i went up to besfrenigga and his girl-- i mean wifuu uGH I CANT GET USED TO IT - and i hadnt given the present to them yet so when he waved for me to come over, i did and i unconcsiously reached my hand out for the girl instead and,,,

besfrenigga started to create a huge scene

"i thought i was your best friend, not her!" he says with this accusing look and im just so happy because its like, i dont have to worry because he wont change from his meme self even if he gets married

so anyway, he continues making a fuss by taking a step back and being all 'ok een, this is my ex girlfriend, and hey ex girlfriend, this is my friend een, please shake hands' and we both have to punch him for being so extra

so i was waiting for the photographer to come and take a picture with them, and meanwhile, besfrenigga was like 'hey, do you know why we're getting married in the first place?' and i was like 'idk, because you like the date?' and he leans closer and whispers

'because we slept together'

smh child

and it turns out that his wife overheard him and i expected her to punch him but she was laughing too and when the photographer showed up, instead of saying cheese, they said 'we slept together!' really cheerfully i cANT BELIEVE THIS LMAOOO

they said it quiet enough for me to hear so no one knew why i was wheezing so hard and besfrenigga pulls me beside him because i was losing my shit and was like you little airhead why wont you stop laughing

smh the audacity

so im pretty sure i looked like an idiot in the picture

smh @ besfrenigga

but anyways im so happy because it's so sweet that they got maried and they're just so perfect for each other and just. it's a very nice feeling when your best friend gets married. ^^

anyways i gtg back to playing doki doki literature club again and sobbing while i watch the love of my life do the horrifying things she's wired to do

gee... i wonder why...

smh @ yuri i rly love you