Couple Chapters IX: Xavier and Tulip

~timeline: when xavier is a teenager obviously lol~

~Xavier: age 17~

       I just stared at my plate in front of me, occasionally poking at the waffles drizzled with syrup. I was hoping my parents wouldn't notice that anything was wrong but considering I was currently stuffing my face with the waffles, also known as my favourite food, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be long before I was asked.

       And I was right.

       Dad walked into the kitchen to put his breakfast plate on the counter and when he saw me, he furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you okay, Xavier?" he asked.

       "Yeah," I lied. "Yeah, am fine."

       "Okay, and the truth?" he asked as he sat down across from me. "Because you would never let waffles sit on your plate too long without being eaten. So...?"

       I sighed and placed my fork on the table. "Just... some problems going on. I'll be fine though."

       "Are you sure?" Dad asked.

       "Yeah," I said. "Everyone always has problems that will soon pass. I'll be fine."

       "Okay," Dad said. "But you do know if you ever need to talk to someone, I'll be here. Same with your mom."

       "I know," I said. 

       I was really hoping Dad would just let me sulk in peace but he didn't. Instead, he stayed at the table and said, "There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

       "What is it?" I asked.

       "Well..." Dad said slowly as if he was trying to find the right words to say. "You and Tulip have been dating for two years now so I think it's time for the t--"

       "Dad, no," I interrupted, a bit too quickly in fact so I cleared my throat. "I don't need the talk. Trust me."

       "So you and Tulip have..."

       "No. Definitely not. What I meant was... You see..." I sighed. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I really didn't think anyone would understand if I told them what I was feeling.

       "You do know it's fine if you are," Dad said. "You're teenagers in love. I just want to make sure you're at least being safe because there can be consequences."

       "So I'm a consequence?"

       "What? No. That isn't what I meant. I love you, Xavier. You know I do but being a teen dad wasn't always an easy thing."

       "Especially when Jolie was probably on the world's worst mothers list?"

       "Yeah, we're not going to sit here and bash Jolie when we could be talking about more important things," Dad said.

       Dad wasn't going to stop talking about this unless I actually told him what was going on with me. At least then we could avoid this very awkward conversation.

       "Dad, believe me, Tulip and I haven't done that and we probably never will," I said. 

       "What are you saying?" Dad asked.

       "I look at Tulip and I think 'Wow, she's gorgeous'," I said. "All I want to do is be by her side and make her happy and do whatever I can to be there for her. I love her but... At the same time I can't see myself being very intimate with her. Or anyone. Yeah, we kiss and hug but sometimes when we kiss, I feel... Nothing."

       Dad was silent for a bit, probably because he didn't understand what I was saying. "To be clear, do you love Tulip or are you in love with her? Because there is a difference."

       "I'm in love with her," I said. "Believe me, I am."

       "So... You're in love with her but you feel nothing?"

       "I don't feel nothing. When she smiles and laughs and when she's extremely weird, I feel something. But whenever we're even the slightest bit intimate, like kissing... That's when I feel nothing."

       I could always say the simple version of it but sometimes, saying, "Hey, I'm asexual," wasn't easy. A lot of people never validated it or even said it was because he hadn't met the one yet.

       Believe me, I did meet the one, but I still felt the same way.

       Nothing.

       "Do you feel this way with Tulip or everyone?" Dad asked.

       "Everyone," I said. "But the fact that it's with Tulip, my girlfriend, is why I'm so worried. What if she breaks up with me?"

       "Xavier, I don't think she's going to break up with you just because you don't want to get intimate," Dad said. "You've been dating for two years and never been. Why would things change now? Besides, she's probably the most open-minded person I ever met. She won't dump you because of it."

       I wanted to think Dad was right but I was still worried. I always was because of it. There were even my fellow LGBTQ+ members who didn't think asexuals belonged in there, and that was probably the worst of it all. Thinking you belonged someone and were safe there, only to actually not be.

       "If you want my advice," Dad continued. "I think you should tell her. Straight up. She'll understand and you won't have to worry about it later on."

       "Yeah, you're right," I said. "And that way, if she were to break up with me over it, it would be done sooner rather than later."

       "She isn't going to break up with you."

       "You never know that. Now if you'll excuse me, I should be heading off since I do have to pick her up."

       "You're not even going to finish the waffles?"

       I stare hopelessly at my plate, seeing the wasted food there before sighing. "I can't stomach anything right now. See if Leanne will eat it."

       I got up from the table and left my house with my school bag, heading into my car before starting it up and driving to Tulip's house. She was already waiting outside for me when I pulled into the driveway and once she got into the car, she said, "Do you think Mr. McCormick will get mad that I didn't do that homework?"

       I sighed. "Why don't you ever do homework for his class?"

       "Uh, because he's my uncle. I get away with it."

       "You got detention last time."

       "...Oh, crap. I should have done it."

       "You think?"

       "Oh well. I'll just copy Athena's homework. If she'll let me... If she doesn't it, consider you my one and only best friend. I mean, you're my boyfriend too but my boyfriend is also my best friend and..."

       "Tulip?" I interrupted. "There's... there's something I have to tell you?"

       Tulip was silent for a bit before saying, "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

       "No, definitely not," I said. "I just... I have to tell you now for... for future reference. The thing is... I think... No, I know... I'm asexual."

       "Oh, okay."

       I furrowed my eyebrows. "That's it?"

       "Why? What did you want me to say?"

       "To be honest... I don't know. I was kind of expecting you to break up with me."

       "What?" Tulip asked. "No, I wouldn't do that just because you're asexual. Xavier, I'm dating you for your personality and admittedly your good looks, not for your dick."

       "Well... That's one way to look at it," I said. "So you're not mad?"

       "Of course not," Tulip said. "You're literally talking to the person who was shipping two gay guys when I was six. I'm not going to get mad if you don't want to have sex or if you don't want to even go further than kissing. We haven't done that much and it never bothered me. It's not going to change our relationship at all. You're still the same guy that I love. That one that makes me laugh and smile and can put up with my craziness. I love you for you."

       I couldn't help but smile at her. "And I love you too. And thank you. I really needed to hear that."

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tulip saying i'm not dating you for your dick makes me uncomf because i only see like kid tulip and not teenager tulip ahahahaha

but i love xavier and i now relate to him more woo <3 

ps. if this chapter ever disappears from here, it might because i'll post it in a one-shot for the WattPride event going on because asexuals need more recognition.

Up next: Cannon and Hunter