Title: Lives Change

Genre: Mystery/Romance

Author: Jvweez

Chapters: 20

Yes, I know what you think: "FINALLY!"

Without further ado, let's get started.

Title:

Well, I think that your title is very well chosen. It's good because it doesn't tell too much about your story, but at the same time, you give away enough information, for your readers to have a guess about your story, to think of what the story will be like. For me, I would have first thought after just reading the Title, that the Life of the Main character will change after one main event, that will take place in your book. Now, normally, it's always this way, that the Life, changes from easy and simple, to hard and complicated. Nevertheless, after reading your description, in the Comment-Section of my Book, I figured that it might as well be the opposite in your Case. Jiya loses everyone, one by one, the Girl must have learnt not to rely on someone to be there for her, but her life changes, when she finds someone, who is going to stay. And yes, I thought of all this, just by your Comment. You did really well here.
10/10 

Description:

Reading your description, I thought of my Theory to be right, that someone will fight for her, to trust again. Your description is delightful, because it makes many questions pop up in your readers heads, which is good. In addition, you don't spoil anything from your book. You describe her future to be decided be the result of her Chess game of Life. That was a really beautiful comparison.
19/20

Cover:

The Quote: "Never Judge a Book by It's Cover", really applies to your story a lot. You might know what I am going to write here, if you watched my previous reviews. The Cover is too simple for my taste. I don't feel much attraction to it in the first glance. Honestly, if I were to Judge your Book by it's Cover, then I would've said, that your story is a Romance/Drama type of story. But reading those 17 Chapters, showed me much more.
14/25

Plot:

Your Plot honestly got me. It's very, how can I put it, well the Plot arouse my interest. The Mystery about Elias Black, since everyone seems to know something about him, which the main protagonist of the Book doesn't. Not to forget the Mystery around why the Main lead is obsessed with the "Gemstone Robbery", it's a bit like "UGH! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!!"

Readers think that they have to solve these Mysteries in order to get inner Piece. By the way, I must say, that reading your story, I figured some really big similarities of your Book with the whole "Harry Potter" setting. One of the many similarities being that the students are divided in 4 groups, or the fact, of how the Students are accepted into the school, with the letters and stuff. Also we see that Jiya gets the Cinderella treatment from her evil Uncle and also her Aunt, who clearly said that she doesn't care whatever the Uncle does to the her, as long as he doesn't beat her.
27/30

Implementation:

Are you ready? This is going to be a long Point. Let's get started.

At the beginning of your story you throw the reader into the action and they don't understand what is going on. But we do notice a few essential details, such as that the person has been in combat and is now lying injured on the forest floor with an ally. The enemies start a confusing conversation and the main character has to flee, but at the moment it seems impossible. After that, you start telling, how we got into that situation. That is amazing, but not only that is impressive, but also how you give information about the backstory of the main Character, little by little and only when needed.

You have some inconsistencies in your book. Firstly, in Chapter 7, Jiya says, "I'm sorry [...]", and you say, that she doesn't apologize often, therefore everyone is shocked, when she apologizes, but in the same sentence, you say that she says sorry at the smallest things, but her apologizing is a rare thing. She said sorry and saying sorry means apologizing. I think, that I might know, what you were trying to do there, but it didn't quite work.

In Chapter 9, Jiya gets locked up accidentally and her only way out is through the window. However, she is on the fourth floor and a fall from this height will be painful. Just as fate predicts, she falls, but thankfully the ground catches her, just kidding, our Prince Charming catches her, just as predicted. While there is nothing particularly wrong with this scene, the confusing part comes up, when she is able to turn into a flying animal just three chapters after and she didn't need to use her wand for it, which makes me question, why she didn't turn, when she was about to fall from a window.

Further, her little break-in was really weird for me. For one, she had to use a lock pick. She has a wand and she only has to swing it once, for the door to be open. Well I thought, that it may be, because, well since they live in a magical World, they have some sort of special lock, that if someone uses magic, the alarm will go off automatically. Then I thought, that it was stupid for them to have some sort of protection against magic, but nothing against a simple lock pick.

I think it was stupid to make things like that complicated for the Main Character, when there was absolutely no need for it. Also, you mentioned a transparent tissue paper somewhere in Chapter 12, which becomes not transperent, when you fold it.
29,5/40

Writing-Skills:

People can see that you have a very extended vocabulary, simply by noticing how you include more complex words in your sentences every now and then. I actually don't have much to say here. Let's move on.
37/40

Grammatical-Aspects:

Unfortunately, you have a lot of mistakes. One of them being, that you use a "," at the end of some sentences, where there should be a ".", in addition, you have some sentence-construction mistakes, which lead to me having to read the lines twice, to get what you were trying to say. Sadly, you also forgot letters, while writing some words. I know, that I pointed out a lot of mistakes, but don't worry, it's totally normal. Everyone does it. I probably made a lot of mistakes, while writing your review.
24,5/35

Concluding:

We reached the end of this review. A few finishing words from me. I really liked, how you again and again brought up characteristic details, like Mr. Black's famous silver eyes. And honestly, Mr. Black's description fits perfectly someone, that I personally know, therefore I can't help but imagine him, whenever you talk about Mr. Black. The amazing Part is, that their characteristics are similar as well, for a moment I thought, that you know him. Because of you, I now have a small crush on someone. Please upload the following chapters, because, your story is AMAZING!

PuppyBonus: +10

Total: 171/200

Here is your sticker. Message me privately if you want me to send it to you, or if you want me to put it on your Cover.

Wingardium leviosa!

Guys, check out the story, if you are interested.

That's it for now.

Bye! ♡