Title: Make it right

Genre: Fanfiction

Author: JImoumiN

Chapters: 12

I'm done with your review and I hope that it's helpful for you. Let's start.

Title:

Your story is about tow souls, who grew apart. Jimin found a new girl, leaving Myeong Jo hurting. Now if Jimin wants to come back to Myeong Jo, then he has to make things right between him and her. Therefore, "Make it Right" is actually a really well chosen name. The only reason, why I am not giving you full points here, is that "Make It Right" is the name of a BTS song, therefore it's not a name, which you completely made yourself.
9/10 

Description:

Well, you sadly almost wrote almost the whole storyline in the description. Them being in a relationship before, Jimin having to leave because of BTS and Jimin finding a new girl. You only left out the end, which you already gave three different options onto how the story could end. I would advise you to fill your discretion, with other words, so that you give the readers, the chance to firstly think of how the story could be, and then, when he/she reads the story, they'll see, if they have guessed it right or not. For example, you could write something along the lines:

"Two souls that seemed destined for each other were torn apart by time.

Broken hearts and broken trusts.

Forgetting the other, they wander around, trying their luck with someone else.

However, would it really work,

what they are trying to gain?

Or would time bring them back,

together again?"

I would probably write something like that.
13/20

Cover:

I do like the Cover, it's just, that Jimin and the girl on the Cover, are not cut out well. The editor did not do a clean job there. I honestly, really like what you wanted to symbolize with them hands almost touching and the broken heart behind them. Well done with that.
17/25

Plot:

Love can be really cruel sometimes and you bring that out with your story, which I really like, since I believe that everything has a good and bad perspective on it. The world only sees love as the most beautiful thing and it surely is. We just can't forget, that, it indeed can be hurting for some people. Thanks for bringing a new perspective to this.
28/30

Implementation:

Now, I need to tell you this, before you might misunderstand my review. I am not really a big fan of pure romantic stories. I don't know, that's just how I am, but I don't judge your book because of it. Now, since this is clear, I would like to say that I have a feeling, that you sometimes tend to dramatize the situation over the top, in your story.

For example, when Jimin broke up with her at the beginning, she cried for two days straight, until she got a fever. She became really weak, since she stopped eating, and that really wasn't good for her health. At that moment, I thought to myself, that,

"Girl, it's just a breakup, the world isn't ending, pull yourself together."

Well, maybe, it's just me, who thinks like that and normally people are like this after breakup.

I also thought, that it was weird, how fast Ji-hyun fell in love. He didn't even know her that well, he invited her to his party and in front of everyone, he confessed loving her.

Another part, which was confusing for me, was, when she lost her Job. I mean, as a Doctor, the number one rule is, to help a patient. She did just that and her Boss fired her. I did not quite understand, why she wasn't allowed to help that patient. Maybe you could explain it to me?
26/40

Writing-Skills:

You said, that English is not your first language and you also are aware of your grammatical mistakes. Therefore, I don't have much to say about it. I just hope, you know why I give you less points here, because the mistakes, ruin the beauty of your writing.
20/40

Grammatical-Aspects:

Just like above.
17/35

Concluding:

At the end, I would like to say, that you should work on your English knowledge, I know that it's not your first language, but if you want to upload books on English, you need to work on that. That's my advice for the future. Other than that, I honestly expect a lot from your story, as it grows. I hope you take this as a motivation and not as something pressuring you.

PuppyBonus: +10

Total: 140/200

Here is your sticker. Message me privately if you want me to send it to you, or if you want me to put it on your Cover.

Make it Right!

Guys, check out the story, if you are interested.

That's it for now.

Bye! ♡