Chapter 13 - "I Failed"

I pulled back slowly, not letting him go.

"Where did you go? Where were you?" I wanted to shout at him, but it only came out as a whisper.

He stayed quite. "Did I do something? Are you upset?" I again questioned while he just kept on looking at me. I felt he would read me deep by the way he looked at me.

I took his hand in mine and tried to drag him outside but he didn't move. My heart raced, thinking that he knew everything. He was aware of every damn fact and I was really afraid. I could not loose him. Never.

"Neil." I spoke, cupping his cheeks.

"Tell me. What happened?" I asked again, as gently as I could.

On getting silence again, I chose to stay quite. I made him sit on the nearby bench and sat beside him.

It was one such moment, when he broke the silence. But what he said took my breathe away. "Do you love me?" I heard him say. My heart stopped for a second and picked up a faster rythm again.

I did not look at him. My breathe got stuck in my throat. I couldn't speak nor move. I forgot to blink and my lips dried.

May be he sensed my condition and thus held my hand tightly. "I am asking something. Tell me Avni."

I let out my stuck breathe and closed my eyes. "You know the answer to that." I said and I wondered I didn't fumble.

"I want to know it from you. Say." He murmured and I could feel the tiredness in his voice.

I licked my lower lip and turned in a swift to look at him. The world was long forgotten behind. All I could see was his wet eyes with a tinge of confusion in them.

I lifted my hands up and caressed his eyes softly, rubbing away the tears. "I hate these tears in yo-" I didn't complete as he interrupted, "Shh. Stop it. Give the answer to my question." I sighed deeply, trying hard to not let my tears flow.

"I don't know." I whispered and he knew it was a lie.

"Avni. You know I won't let you go this way. So better tell me." He said, getting up.

I followed him and stood in front of him. I inhaled sharply and looked into his eyes directly. Biting my inner cheek, I leaned in. I felt his breathe labouring as I kept my head on his chest. My forehead touched his well built chest as I closed my eyes. I felt his chin over my head. I wasn't facing sideways, I was facing his chest and all I saw was darkness.

After countless sighs and fumbles, I was finally able to utter, "Yes."

I felt him stiffen under my hold as he stepped back a little. I did not let him go. We stood in the same position for God knows how long. I did not know what he was feeling. I clutched the material of his shirt at the back as I felt he would run away. He still did not hug me back. I knew what was coming next. His rejection. And I was super prepared for it.

I had built my paradise in his hell and named it a neglected heaven. Thus, I was prepared for what was coming.

I opened my eyes and lifted up my head to look at his face. His look made me doubt myself for once. He looked at me the way I needed to be looked at. Like, the whole world would crumple and he wouldn't blink.

He tilted his head in helplessness and I couldn't be more regretful. I could have lied to him. But I didn't. So this was what it was.

"I-jus Me-I do-"  He tried to say something but I immediately interrupted, "It's alright. You don't have to say anything. I know."
I smiled while wiping my tears.

And then as quickly as he had came, he left. He left the place, leaving me alone to suffer it all. He could have been here to at least console but may be this was how it had to be. Oh, my fate.

I looked up at the sky, as if I asked for some mercy. I felt my knees weak and I fell. My hair were dishevelled, the kohl in my eyes smudged. I cried my heart out, not as loud. I had lost him, I knew. And that had been my biggest fear.

But then may be this was meant to be. He wasn't at fault. I couldn't force him to love me if he didn't. And afterall, we weren't made for each other. We weren't a match.

I had to be strong. There would be many fights in my way and I had to face them. Alone. He, the one who was always beside me, would not be with me anymore.

I had lost. I failed him.

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Boom! So, she confessed! Yes. She did. But do you think Neil has backed off because he didn't say anything. Well, leaving it up to you.

Tell me, how was it? I know it's short again, but this chapter had to be short, I couldn't drag it because I had to write Neil's point of view after this incident.

Do vote and comment to let me know how was this.

Till then,
Much Love.