27th November, 2016

Shaik, this is dedicated to you <3

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allaah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive to do that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah. Do not feel helpless and if anything befalls you, do not say 'If only I had done such and such.' Rather say, 'Qadar Allaah wa ma sha'a faal (The decree of Allaah and whatever He wills happens).' For (the words) 'If only' open the door to the Shaytaan." 

Narrated by Muslim, 2664 

Chapter 12:

Traitorous Heart

Three months.

It had been three months since Anabya started University and she was back to the same old routine of being a student. She hadn't made any friends as such and her classmates were nothing more than acquaintances. While it would have been good to have a bunch of friends to hang out with, she was alright nonetheless. 

When she was waiting for a class or she'd have a free hour, she would spend her time in the library reading books or just walk around in the vast campus. She had also found herself a secluded spot, in the middle of trees, where she'd escape when she was too tired of seeing teenagers and young adults all around. 

She was too simple for all the drama other people her age underwent.

Now, at the end of the day, as Anabya was just walking out of her block and heading towards the parking, which was a good ten minutes away, her phone beeped with a message.

Even before she could look for it in the deepest darkest corner of her bag, Afreen blocked the path, grinning at her.

"Assalamu alaikum!" She chirped.

"Wa alaikum as salaam!" Anabya grinned back. "Wow! Finally!"

"What an achievement!" Afreen agreed. "Can you believe we study in the same university and this is like the first time in three months that we finally crossed paths?"

"I know right?" Bee shook her head.

Raiyyan's little sister and Anabya's cousin, Afreen, studied in the same university as Bee but given the fact that she was doing Bachelor's and it was such a huge campus, the two sisters rarely met. 

"Where's Ahmed?" Bee asked, referring to Afreen's twin.

"Ahmed who? I don't know any Ahmed," Afreen shrugged, much to Anabya's amusement.

"What did he do now?"

"I met him in the corridor in the afternoon, and I got all excited because obviously he's my brother and although I see him at home it's different to see him on campus. So I called his name and jumped a bit and waved my hands and you know what he did?"

"What?"

"He pretended like he didn't see me, turned around and walked off!"

Anabya burst out laughing listening to that while Afreen mumbled under her breath. Why did guys get so embarrassed when their sister or female relative waved to them in front of their group of friends? As if it would hurt their cool dude attitude!

"So that's the reason," Anabya noted, still grinning, and proceeded to ask, "You're done with your classes for the day?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yup."

"Let's hang out?" Afreen suggested.

"Sounds good. Where do you wanna go?"

"There's this new barbecue place that I wanted to go to. Raiyyan Bhai and Tam went there yesterday and they said the food was amazing. What do you say?"

"I'll just inform mom and we'll be good to go in sha Allah," Anabya replied.

"I'll inform mom too," Afreen answered and the two of them spoke on their respective phones as they walked towards Bee's bike. 

"Come on Bee, get married now." Afreen teased once they hit the road.

"Yeah so you can dress up and eat biryani," Anabya rolled her eyes.

"Obviously!" Afreen giggled. "You're next on the list and I can't wait for some wedding excitement!"

"In that case, you better get accustomed to the fact that I'm not getting married anytime soon."

"As if you have a say in that. When your mum finds the right guy, you'll be done for good. Desi parents, duhh," Afreen replied and although Anabya couldn't see her cousin's face since she was seated behind her, she was sure she was smirking.

"Whatever, I don't want to get married. Single life is the best."

"You've gotta be kidding me. Who wouldn't want to meet their dream guy and fall in love?" She heard Anabya sigh dreamily.

"I sometimes forget you are such a teenager," Anabya grimaced at the amount of fangirling over her future husband.

"I'm not a typical teenager. You're the one who's turned boring!" She complained.

"I'm just being practical. You're only seeing the honeymoon period after marriage. Just imagine those times when you'll have to deal with the tantrums of your husband and you two end up in a serious fight? Or what if your in laws hate you or your husband is this hot headed dude with views that clash your own? Worse still, what if you two are not on same page as each other or can't stand each other's presence? Scratch that, what if you feel suffocated in the other's presence?"

"If I'd think that way, trust me, I would never, NEVER, never get married."

"That's my plan."

"You're crazy. Why would you think that way? Think of the good that can come your way."

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

"You're being a bad influence," Afreen sulked.

"But honestly, Afreen, I hate how the society pressurises us. If you're a girl who is hitting 23 years and are still unmarried, BAM, it's almost as if it's unholy. They look at you as if you're not 23 but a 70 year old grandma. Every other Aunty suddenly gets so interested on finding out if you've been fortunate enough to find a gut yet. I hate this logic! Age shouldn't be such an important factor!"

"And it doesn't end there," Afreen agreed. "After you're married, the entire world wants to know when you're going to have a kid. Our society is full of mindless freaks!"

"Exactly my point!" Anabya all but shouted, so glad that her cousin understood her. If she wouldn't have been riding, she would definitely give Afreen a high five.

Finding a common topic of interest, the two cousins went on and on about it, Afreen shuddering at the memory of one of the old ladies asking about her wedding in one of her mum's recent kitty parties.

"She first asked me for my age, and I said I was 18. She then asked me if I was getting married anytime soon since her daughter who is the same age as me is already a mother of twins!"

"While that is very nice ma sha Allah, I hate it when they pressurize you by such comparisons!" Anabya agreed.

"I told her that I had a long time to go, especially considering that my cousin who is three years older to me isn't married yet," Afreen giggled, indicaing towards Anabya and since they were waiting at the red light, Anabya turned around to glare at Afreen, causing her giggles to transform into laughter.

This girl was such a kid!

"We're here," Anabya announced two minutes later, parking her bike and they walked in, continuing the rest of the conversation over delicious food.

***

Anabya groaned as she waited for the elevator, but one of her neighbours was taking their own sweet time because even after three whole minutes, there were no signs of it.

Giving up, she decided to climb the flight of stairs that'd take her to her apartment. Since she had to go to the first floor, unless one was super lazy, it didn't matter much.

In no time she reached upstairs and was met with a peculiar view. Oh and the reason for the stalled elevator too.

"Hafsa," she gasped, not believing her eyes.

"Anabya?" Came the equally surprised response as the green eyed beauty walked ahead, engulfing her friend in a hug.

"How have you been?" Anabya asked, her face flushed with happiness on seeing her friend. "And what are you doing over here?"

"I didn't know you stay here," Hafsa started, still a bit dazed. "Tanzila Aunt had called us for lunch and we were just leaving when I spotted you."

Although they were really good office mates, Hafsa hadn't been to Anabya's house. She could only call it destiny that she happened to meet her after such a long time.

As Anabya looked behind Hafsa, she was met with two smiling faces.

Upon seeing him, she waited for the gust of wind to remind her of her heart break and the sleepless nights she had spent crying over the man who stood in front of her now.

She waited for all of it to engulf her in its monotony once again.

She waited and waited and waited.

But nothing happened.

Her heart neither fluttered in glee nor did it break in misery seeing him.

While she was ecstatic that her heart was her own and she had full control, she realized something that hit her like a brick.

Your heart was a traitor that acted like a madman, infatuated by an idea that made no sense.

Thinking back, she despised herself for believing the false tales spun by the same heart. She couldn't believe she was obsessed, yes she'd use that word, she was stupid enough to obsess over the plans she thought were perfect, simply ignoring the fact that The All Knowing had different plans for her.

Her heart once made her believe that she was in love, when in reality, she was in love with the idea of love and was too silly, and impatient to give it a face.

A human form.

Little did she know, it was Allah's job to put love between two hearts and bring them closer when He thought the time was right.

She only had to believe in her Rabb and love Him unconditionally, because He was The One, Al Wadood, who was worthy of the purest form of love from His worshipers.

It was that simple.

Smiling at the silly girl she once was, Anabya looked behind Hafsa and greeted, "Assalamu alaikum."

Fadil returned the greeting with equal enthusiasm, "Wa alaikum as salaam, Anabya. It's nice to see you."

"Same here," she smiled, turning to look at Hafsa. "Why don't you come home for tea? Mum would love that, and we could spend some time too."

Hafsa smiled apologetically and replied, "I'd love that too but we're actually in a hurry. Tanzila Aunty forced us to stay for some more time too but we're leaving to the farm house this evening and gotta rush back home."

"If that's the case, I won't force you, but remember to meet me when you're back."

"Definitely," Hafsa smiled, "Just busy with married life but there's so much I need to tell you," she added, giving her a good bye hug before the two proceeded to leave.

Anabya was still smiling as she looked in their direction although they were long gone, taken aback by the little encounter.

"Earth to, princess," the voice she abhorred interrupted her thoughts and the guy in question snapped his fingers in front of her.

Anabya had probably mastered the art of ignoring because although Shamaaz was with Fadil and Hafsa since the time she had entered, she hadn't paid him attention or even casted a glance his way.

But too bad for her, he never got the hint and if someone didn't notice him, he made his presence known. 

"'Bya, need some advice?" He started, the mirth in his eyes replaced by seriousness.

"No," she replied, turning her back to him as she walked to the apartment.

"Take it, it's free."

When she made no move to stop, he said, "If you're ever asked to choose between marrying the one who loves you and the one you love, marry the one who loves you; because one will treat you like a princess while the other wouldn't even care if you treat him like a king."

"What the heck, Shamaaz?" She all but shouted, turning in full momentum to face him. "Why would you say something like that?" She fumed.

"I like the way you said my name," he grinned instead, totally disregarding her anger.

 "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, referring to his earlier mind boggling comment.

"That you should say my name more often."

"I'm serious, answer me! Why did you say that?"

"Because..."

"Because?"

"I like it when you act this way. Cheeks flushed with anger, eyes twinkling in curiosity and a force that's stopping you from lunging at me. I like it," he grinned.

Bumping her forehead with her hand at his impossible behavior, she walked home.

This guy must be given an award to ruin her mood.

He did it every single time.

Needless to say, Anabya's entire weekend was spent pondering over those words. She didn't know the basis of his comment or what made him say that. Her mood was spoiled for the two days that were meant to be relaxing and finally, Sunday evening, she decided to give up.

It was a given fact that Shamaaz knew something of her but how much he knew and from where he had gathered the information was still a mystery.

Although this bothered her, she decided it was no use breaking her head over it anymore.

For one, whatever he knew was now a closed chapter in her life and two, his opinion did not matter.

Feeling a bit at ease although she wouldn't admit his comment still bothered her subconsciously, she decided to divert her mind.

She walked into the sitting room, and grinned when she saw Furqaan blowing a balloon and releasing the air on Sulaiman's face, earning an impressive screech from the baby.

"Bee Phop," the two year old screeched, "Blllooonn!"

"Wow balloon?" She matched his enthusiasm, "Sulaiman likes it?"

"Yethh!"

"Wassup?" Furqaan asked, ruffling her hair. "Bee has become busy bee."

"Yeah, student life, bro!"

"What would you do-"

"Demonetization is the worst thing ever!" Aamina exclaimed, walking in to the house and taking off her hijab.

"Mama dawwling!" Sulaiman gushed, rushing to his mum and giving her a hug. Since he wouldn't stop calling her darling, they had negotiated and now he called her mama dawwling.

"Assalamu alaikum baby," Aamina kissed his cheek and after chugging down a glass of water, continued, "So Tam and I went to Lifestyle because I wanted to buy shoes and after an hour I finally picked a pair and I didn't have the new currency so I offered the card but guess what?"

"What?" Anabya asked eagerly. The entire country was a mess from the time the government declared the currency they were using would no more be in circulation and they were introducing 'new currency'. This step was taken to fight black money and while it was done with good intentions, it had caused an uproar in the nation due to the clause that came with it.

"Apparently the bank networks were jammed because of all the ruckus and they couldn't do the transactions with the credit card. And so, I couldn't purchase anything. What a waste of time!"

"You aren't able to use your own money, this sucks!" Furqaan agreed. "You should see the number of people gathered around the bank, who are trying to exchange the old currency with the new one. It's crazy!"

"Of course I'd know," Anabya groaned.

"Oh who'd know this better than you," Furqaan laughed and Aamina couldn't help but grin.

Anabya's mum had taken her along to exchange the old notes and she had to literally wait for two hours in that queue. It was a horrifying and tiresome experience, to say the least!

"Did you get to purchase anything at all?" Furqaan asked.

"Yeah, I got these shirts for you, and Anabya I got this for you, I bought a similar one for myself," Aamina said, giving her a sling bag. "Like it?"

"I love it, it's awesome! BarakAllahu feeki," Anabya grinned.

"Wa feeki barakAllah. Is the size alright?" She questioned Furqaan who tried one on.

"Yes. But didn't you get anything in black ?"

"There were many but I didn't even look towards them. Your closet is full of black, about time you try different colors! I got two whites, two blues, one grey and one lemon yellow. Oh and one beige."

"But there's no black," he complained.

"Men," Aamina rolled her eyes. 

"But these are fine too," Furqaan finally said, smiling lazily.

"Guess that's the most I'm going to get out of you," Aamina shook her head, smiling at him.

"How's Tam?" Anabya asked a little while later as she was straightening the cushions.

"She was fine, alhamdulilah. She was cracking jokes and after a long time, it felt like the old Tam is back, but I feel so bad," Anabya sighed.

"Why?"

"Her eyes kept diverting to the new born section they had at the store. At one point when I was at the billing counter, I even saw her rummage through the clothes in that section and when the lady asked her if she was looking for something, she shook her head and moved aside."

"Ya Allah! That's so... that's so heartbreaking."

"She doesn't show it but obviously her thoughts would go back to what could have been."

"Yeah. But that's about Qadr Allah."

"I know. Accepting the decree even when you don't understand it," she nodded and Anabya couldn't agree more.

When nothing seems right

And happiness is out of sight

When future looks bleak

And you don't get what you seek

Hold strong to the rope of Deen

Stay patient and your worries will cease

You'll eventually live the dream you've seen

And that day, you'll be content and at ease.

***

"48...49... you're almost there! Come on! Come on! And... 50!"

With a thud, Shamaaz fell flat on the ground, the push ups leaving him gasping for air.

"That was harder than I thought," he muttered as he sat up, and used the towel to wipe his dripping forehead.

"Let's just say, the coach doesn't appreciate your jokes."

"I can see that," he muttered dryly.

For the first time in life, he was late for the cricket practice because his best friend had come home with his wife.

He was only ten mins late.

And he may have cracked a joke about his bald headed heavy built coach and how his fifth girlfriend ditched him because he gave her a gold ring instead of a diamond ring.

That's it. That's all he did to earn him 50 push ups as punishment after the practice hours. If he was being fair, the joke was for his fickle girlfriend, ex girlfriend, and he didn't know why the coach got so mad.

What had the world come to?

Now as he walked into one of the stalls to take a quick shower before heading out, Imran asked, "How do you even get to know such details anyway? I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, let alone finding out that they broke up."

"Let's just say I'm observant," came his reply.

"Observant only in situations that matter to you, huh? If you'd pay so much attention in your classes, you wouldn't have back logs!"

"That's not my fault!" Shamaaz protested. "They didn't even let me write my exams due to shortage of attendance!"

"How is that not your fault?" Imran asked, bemused.

"You wouldn't understand," Shamaaz replied.

"Make me," he challenged.

"Ah forget it," he answered, grinning, because both knew Shamaaz didn't exactly have an answer to it.

After they had freshened up, since it was a Sunday, they proceeded to meet the squad at the hookah parlor.

As they drove together, Shamaaz questioned, "Imran what would happen if a guy like me falls in love with an Aaapa jaan?"

"Nothing," he shrugged.

"Nothing?"

"Obviously nothing would happen because guys like you don't dream of marrying strict and haram police kind of girls!"

"Imran, I'm serious!"

"Wait. Please don't tell me something like this is going on!" Imran asked, holding his breath. "It's not what I think it is, right?"

"Of course not!" Shamaaz answered. "This is just a hypothetical situation."

"Well, in that case, the guy must be ready to break his heart. Because those kinds of girls don't marry such guys. Haven't you seen those cheesy instagram posts? They want a man who'd wake them up for Fajr," Imran laughed.

"They might as well marry an alarm clock!"

"No, seriously. I don't know from where they get such ideas. Marry a man who wakes you up for Fajr, marry a man who treats you like a queen, marry someone with whom you can be a child and adult at the same time, marry someone who doesn't mind your horrible cooking skills, marry a man who will put up with you even when you throw tantrums... I'm telling you, girls have unrealistic expectations!"

"Really? Girls want all this from one guy?"

"Oh and I forgot to mention, they also would want to marry someone with whom they can hold hands and walk through this world and the hereafter."

"That's so cheesy!"

"Just some of the many expectations girls have these days!"

"So you mean to say guys like us don't stand a chance, huh?"

"What! That's a wrong way of framing the sentence. What I mean to say is those girls aren't our type."

"Yeah," Shamaaz dragged, and although he verbally agreed to the statement, he actually didn't.

The heart was such a traitor.

He knew Anabya was the super religious type, and although this should have repulsed him since he was a modern and flexible Muslim, he somehow felt drawn towards her.

The more she ignored him, the more he wanted to grab her attention.

The more she shun him out, the closer he wanted to get.

It was difficult to say what exactly he wanted because she was far away from the image of a wife he had, but this didn't stop him from doing everything possible to get closer to her.

He didn't remember the last time he sent a friend request to someone on Facebook, but he did send one to Anabya only to have it ignored.

She had literally blocked him on instagram because that's just how many times he sent her a follow request.

While initially he was doing all this to rile her up, he'd admit that he fell in love with her approach to life.

So the other day, he accidently found out that she once liked Fadil, but it was so amazing to see her get over him almost immediately and accept - he scratched his head as he thought of the word - oh yes, she accepted the Qadr.

There were no cat fights or ill feelings, she simply accepted destiny and carried herself with utter grace and elegance.

She knew her worth and she trusted her Rabb, so she wasn't willing to settle for less.

Some part of her may have still been vulnerable, but for the most part of it, she was a strong lady.

And the same strength that impressed him, terrified him.

For if he tried to woo her, it would be close to impossible.

At this point, Shamaaz didn't know what he wanted, 'Bya wasn't even his type. As he took a puff of the hookah and blew rings of smoke, he just knew one thing,

His heart wasn't willing to let go of her.

****

Subhan Allah! This chapter is finally out. Out of my three years on wattpad, this is probably the longest gap between two chapters. I know how horrible it is to wait for updates and I'm terribly sorry you had to wait for so long!

While college gets brutal at times, I had the worst kind of writer's block and I just didn't know what to write. However, alhamdulilah I've sorted things out and in sha Allah, I hope to be more regular.

I had almost given up hope even today but after reading all your comments I told myself that I HAD TO UPDATE today and I didn't give myself a choice.

So the chapter is finally here alhamdulilah and like always, please remember to vote and comment. This story is going to be very very different from my other books because to start of with, Shamaaz is hardly close to the sweet practising Muslim guys of my other novels. My best friend always tells me my books are fantasy based so you know what? This one is going to be realistic with harsh truths, lies, betrayal and a love hate commitment!

LOL ok maybe not THAT bad! But I'll try to keep this in touch with the real world ;)

Are you with me on this journey? :))