4th December, 2016

This chapter, I'm sure, is the answer to someone's prayer! Lol though this makes me laugh, I'm not even kidding. So... story time: Although tomorrow is a Sunday, I wanted to go to sleep early since it's winter in this part of the world and the weather calls for it! I put on my sweater and snuggled into my bed and fell asleep quite fast. However, an hour later, EXACTLY an hour later, my mum walked into my room and saw me sleeping in a super awkward position with my legs crossed. She straightened my legs and I was still in my state of half slumber. Everything was still good.

But then she saw me sleep at the edge of such a big bed and carefully tried lifting my head and shifted my pillow inside because you know... my mommy is way too adorable and she looks into the littlest of things.

BUT GUESS WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? I WAS WIDE AWAKE! And even after one hour of tossing and turning, I COULDN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP!

So I thought to myself, why not update...  It's 4:30 a.m. as I update this and it isn't a very long chap. You've been warned!

(Oh and I love you mom. ♡ And dear readers I love you too. Just let me know in the comments who desperately prayed for an update lol. Your dua was answered :p )

"Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, "Be!" – and it is!"

[Qur'an]

Chapter 13:

Define Your Worth

"Hey," Raiyyan whispered, wrapping his hands around Tammara's waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

She jumped up at the gesture, composing herself when she realized it was her husband.

"You startled me, Ray," she said.

"Sorry, darling. What were you doing anyway?" He questioned looking at the open closet. However, he sighed when he received his answer.

He turned Tam to him and said, "Tammy, please."

"I didn't do anything," she whispered, not looking at her husband as she broke free from his grasp and closed the closet.

From the time Tam had suffered a miscarriage, she had grown distant from him. While they'd still speak about all the topics that existed in the world, she refused to tell him anything about her thoughts on the baby they had lost. She'd stand in front of her closet and stare at the tiny clothes and toys the two had purchased initially but everytime Raiyyan pried on the topic, she'd close him out.

He knew she was hurting and it hurt him all the more to know that she wouldn't let him comfort her.

Like the past months, as she proceeded to excuse herself to prepare dinner, this time, Raiyyan refused to let it slide.

He grabbed her hand and halted her steps.

"Tammy, this is not fair. You can't not speak to me."

"What are you saying?" She pretended. "I am speaking to you."

"You know what I mean."

"Raiyyan, if you mean to talk about that, then remember it was The Will of Allah and I've submitted to it. In sha Allah, He'll give us a child when He thinks the time is right."

At such courage, although he could see her falling apart with every word she said, Raiyyan pulled her closer to him, running his hands through her hair as he kissed her.

"I love you, Tam. I love you for your courage and bravery. But remember, it's alright to feel weak, it's alright to feel the pain, it's acceptable to share your grief as long as you realize that above everything, there's Allah who will set things right. When Prophet Yaqub alaihis salaam's son, Prophet Yusuf, May peace be upon him, was separated from his father as a ploy of his brothers, Prophet Yaqub cried endlessly, so much that he lost his eyesight. He did feel remorseful and was hurt beyond words, but He never questioned the decree of Allah. And what happened? After many years, Subhan Allah, he was reunited with his son again, his prayers were answered."

At the narration, for the first time in months, Tammara broke down in front of Raiyyan, not hiding her pain anymore. 

"I'm scared, Raiyyan, I'm honestly so scared. What if it takes us years to have a child of our own? I don't think I have that much patience."

"If Allah has planned for that, so be it, Tam," Raiyyan consoled. "We have the weapon of du'a," he said, wiping her tears only for a fresh set to grace her cheeks.

"Imagine this. All of us have certain dreams we want to accomplish and sometimes, it feels impossible. But you know what's beautiful? All it takes is for Allah to say 'kun' and you'll have it within reach. Be and it is. The Universe works at His command, and He tells His believers to ask Him and He guarantees a response to us. So why give room for hopelessness?"

"I know, I know," Tam said, shaking her head. "Stupid Satan, he puts these thoughts in my head!"

"Please Tam," Raiyyan continued. "Don't distance yourself from me. I miss my old Tammy."

"I'm sorry," she croaked, her eyes filling with tears for an entirely different reason. "I know I haven't opened up to you much on this topic because... Because..."

"What?" Raiyyan questioned, understanding her hesitation. "Don't tell me you thought I would blame you for all this."

When Tammara nodded guiltily, Raiyyan couldn't believe his eyes. "You're kidding me! Tam, how could you think I'd turn up to be the kind of man that'd blame his wife for a decision that was purely Qadr?"

"I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't ever do that to me, maybe I was blaming myself. But obviously that isn't right of me because this is Qadr. Forgive me?" She asked, wrapping her hands around him as she leaned in.

"I can never be mad at you," he said after a while. "But you have to make up for this," he said, finally gracing her with a smile.

"Your wish is my command," Tam agreed, grinning back. "What do you want?" She asked, biting her lip.

"Well, you decide," he shrugged.

"Alright then," Tammara said, rubbing her hands. "Mr. Husband, be ready for a huge surprise tomorrow!"

"Well," he said, pulling her to him, "I'm all set, Mrs. Wife. I can already think of a few things ."

At that, she stuck her tongue out at him and Raiyyan pinched her cheek, "I love you."

In signature Tam fashion, after a long time, for his sake, she was back to her old self and saw him throw his head back and laugh when she replied cheekily,

"Yeah, I love myself too."

***

"So, class, I'm sure you know this," the professor started.

"Every kid knows it! It's a kit kat," the class answered as he waved the delicious bar in front of them.

"And how much does it cost?"

"The one you're holding is ten bucks," a student answered.

"If I were to sell this for five bucks, who'd buy it from me?"

Answering the obvious, the entire class raised their hands. Everyone except one.

"Miss. Anabya, you don't like kit kat?" The professor questioned, curious to see one student out of the 100 not interested in such a tempting offer.

"I'd question the originality of the product, Sir. If you're wiling to sell it for half its price, I'm pretty sure it's duplicate and I'd have to compromise on the chocolate."

"You don't trust me?" The professor further questioned.

"Well," the girl bit her lip before grinning, "It's just that I take my chocolates seriously."

The entire class, including the professor, erupted in laughter and Anabya couldn't stop the grin either.

This girl slays!

"So you mean to say if you're offered something that you hold high in regard, for a lesser price, you would question its credibility?"

"Maybe," she answered, not sure now that he framed the sentence this way.

"Good," he nodded. "That's a different perspective. Anyway, so going by the majority, when something expensive is sold for a lesser price, everyone would buy it, right?"

When the class chorused their affirmation, the professor continued, "Let's say I sell this for 20 rupees. How many of you would buy it?"

When no one raised their hand, he asked them for a reason.

"It's overpriced."

"I can get two for that amount."

"Why would anyone opt to pay extra?"

"Well, good question," he smirked. "And you, as students, are going to find the answer for me.

"The study of the human mind is complex and never ending. The next chapter that we're going to deal with is related to response and repulsion. As budding psychologists you need to know that half the time, people value themselves based on the price that others quote. If someone calls them worthless, they'll believe it.

Take for example the subject of a teenager who has a poor body image. How would you convince her that she is perfect the way God has made her and is absolutely beautiful? It would be very hard to bring her out of the negative mindset that she has built around her. And that is your task for today."

"How is this related to the kit kat?" A guy sitting in the last bench asked.

"Patience," the professor replied, giving him a pointed look. "This is what you have to do. As you said, the quoted price of this kit kat is 10 bucks. I'm going to give each student a kit kat and you need to try to sell it for a minimum of 20 rupees. You can sell it for more, depends on you. Remember, this is a marked assignment, so you have to give me a report of your experience and tell me the money you managed to earn. You will leave your bags, wallets and cellphones in class and head out. You've got half an hour to finish this, so hurry up! You can pick one from the box over here and move out. 30 minutes is all you have! Am I clear?"

"But sir, the students on campus are miserly! I myself wouldn't buy it for this price if I were them," the forever logical guy, Rishab, complained.

"That's not my problem," came his cool response and realising that time was running out, all of them hurried to grab their respective chocolates and moved out.

Standing in the corridor, Anabya stared at the little red wrapper, thinking of ways to sell this for a higher price.

While she found the entire task extremely interesting, she hated only one thing-

She had to interact with random humans.

Taking this as a challenge, she took her first step and headed towards the crowded part of the campus. She looked around, mentally evaluating the kind of response she would get.

She saw a group of friends huddled around a laptop, probably working on a group assignment and wondered if she should approach them. However, she shunned the idea seeing there were guys in the group and the last thing she needed was to be laughed at.

After scanning around 5 people and 7 groups, she finally walked up to a girl who was sitting idol, with earphones plugged in.

"Hey," Anabya greeted.

"Hi?" The girl took off her ear phones and gave her a confused look.

"So I have this assignment where I need to sell this for 20. Would you help me out?"

"You want me to buy this for double its price?" The girl questioned.

"I know it sounds absurd but it's an assignment."

"Umm... well... sorry but I forgot my wallet at home."

"Uh nevermind," Anabya replied, walking away as her cheeks flamed up.

Well, this was harder than she thought!

No way was she going to humiliate herself like this once more. She looked to her right to see what her other classmates were doing and found some in deep conversations while another guy was dabbing with the kit kat in front of a group of girls. The girls cheered for him and Anabya couldn't help but smile in astonishment when they handed him a twenty rupee bill.

That was a pretty smart move, she'd admit. He offered entertainment along with the product to make up for the extra cost.

She raked her mind for ideas along these lines.

She was a horrible dancer, not like she'd dance anyway.

She was a bathroom singer, so that was out of the option.

As she kept thinking, after spending five minutes evaluating herself and feeling useless because she had no skills she could use, a sudden idea hit her.

She wouldn't call herself a great writer but she was alright at it. That was the only quality she could use in such a situation.

Looking for her next target, she walked to a girl who was admiring herself in the mirror while apllying dark red lipstick.
Anabya explained to her her situation and much to her relief, she saw her smile.

"So you mean to say, if I'd buy this for 20, I'd get a personalised poem along with it?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"That sounds cool!"

"Wonderful," Anabya clapped her hands and asked, "So what do you want we to write for you?"

"Well," she blushed. "I'm actually going to ask a guy out on a date, so maybe something along those lines," she hinted.

Oh great! Of all things in the world, she asked her to write a poem on this?

Seriously?

However, since she had thirteen minutes left and she couldn't lose her customer, she obliged. That girl even offered her a fancy paper with red hearts around it!

While she had never explored such a topic, neither did she want to, for the sake of her assignment and marks, she forced herself to come up with some cheesy lines.

"Start the poem with his eyes, they're so captivating!" The girl sighed and Anabya rolled her eyes. "Oh and also add that the day I met him was the best day of my life! And I want to live the rest of my life with him."

Right.

Riiigggghhttt.

She tried to think of a situation where she'd propose to a guy. While this wasn't going to happen in the whole of her life, she tried to imagine the scene to awaken the writer in her.

Taking a deep breath, she wrote,

I like the twinkle in your eyes

Your presence in my life is a wonderful surprise

'THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!' The better part of Anabya's mind protested. However she looked at her watch that signified she had eleven minutes left so she continued with the poem she'd rather not attach her name to.

The day you walked into my life

Everything felt alright

Hmmm... from when did she start writing such poems?

We still have a long way to go, so many hurdles to cross

But together we'd slay the demons, there would be no remorse

THE RHYMING SUCKS BIG TIME!

I'll be with you through all your joys and sorrow,

So let's start our forever with a date, and not wait for tomorrow?

I wouldn't call it love at first sight

But having you in the picture seems right

We may still be too young for this,

But you are someone I wouldn't want to miss.

Hold my hand as we travel ahead,

A journey filled with zero regrets.

Smiles and tears, ups and downs

With you, I want to live it all.

Before we proceed to the three magical words,

I promise you I'll be with you at all crossroads.

This is something I wouldn't want to mess,

All I hope to hear is a yes.

"Here you go," Anabya chirped. Although she was cringing when she started it, the end had turned out better than she expected. "Like it?"

"I love it!" She smiled giddily, generously offering her 30 bucks. "I hope you score well in your assignment."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you," Anabya said, proceeding to leave.

She had just taken a step when she was forced to stop in her tracks.

"Shamaaz," the girl spoke shyly as the guy in question returned from the canteen with his choco latte. "I wanted to give you something," she said extending the note to a confused looking Shamaaz.

"What's this?" He asked and upon listening to his voice, with her back to them, Anabya all but ran to her class.

No freaking way!

WHY OH WHY?

However, the sour mood on realizing that the letter was indirectly written for Shamaaz was balanced by the fun filled moments as everyone shared their experience on the activity in class. Anabya was surprised to even know one guy was able to sell his kit kat for 80 bucks but that was only because he agreed to be the girl's date for her prom.

A lot of practical experience was exchanged and she recalled the professor's parting words as she walked out of class,

No matter how little others see in you, don't let them define your worth. Believe in the power of being you. You are one of a kind, and when you give yourself credit for it, others will do the same.

She was mentally marveling the professor's ability to deliver such amazing lessons when she heard,

"It's a yes."

Of course! She didn't even need to ask.

She saw Shamaaz seated on his bike as he grinned at her.

Ignoring him, she walked to her bike that was parked alongside his.

"Aren't you happy?"

She continued to ignore him as she adjusted her helmet and wore the gloves.

"So where do you wanna go on a date?" He smirked.

At that, she turned to look at him, unable to stop the flash of anger that crossed her features at his amusement.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she gritted out.

"I'm talking about starting our forever with a date, and not waiting for tomorrow cuz it would be too late," he grinned, partly quoting her.

"Excuse me? You seem to have mistaken me for someone else," she shrugged.

"I know it was you, 'Bya," he replied confidently.

There was so much that she wanted to say, but she reminded herself that it was no use talking to a guy like him. A response from her would only cause him to carry on further with his cheap pick up lines.

So turning the key in the ignition, she started her bike.

"Hold my hand as we travel ahead, a journey filled with zero regrets," he quoted the exact words this time, holding his hand out for emphasis.

"I'm know you're shy, we can postpone the date for another day," he teased when Anabya simply stared at his extended hand.

Grimacing at the entire exchange, Anabya zoomed past him in reply as she made her way to her house.

"One day, 'Bya, one day!" She heard him yell behind her.

A date with him? Never in a million years!