Prologue

You'd think by now potions during meetings would be banned, right?  Especially considering how much trouble they tend to bring every time they broke... and they would always break during the meetings.

But no, they still aren't banned.

How do you know this?

Well, when your husband returns home from a meeting with very realistic cat ears and a tail, then that's enough to tell you what happened.

Denmark

You walked into the kitchen to see Mattias with his back to you, his tail swaying happily.

"Hey Mattias, what are you up to?"  You asked.  Mattias laughed as he turned to face you.

"Just enjoying a nice cold b-"

"Ack!"  You yelled, cutting him off.  "Quick!  Spit it out!"

"What?!"  Mattias asked, unsure why you were panicking.

Meanwhile you grabbed the beer out of his hands and tossed it into the sink.

"Hey!  I was drinking that!"  Mattias yelled.

"Be quiet and start gagging!"  You ordered, pulling out your phone as Mattias became even more confused.

"Why?"

"Because alcohol is toxic to cats!"  You yelled.  Mattias paused for a moment before -

"I don't wanna die!"  Mattias yelled as you continued to call the ambulance for help.

~Time Skip~

"So you're saying this cat-guy here had a single beer, and that's why you called us?"  The EMT said, sounding exasperated.

"Yes, alcohol is toxic to cats."  You said.  The guy sighed and gave you a look of disbelief.

"Is he a full cat with paws and fur all over his body?"  The EMT asked.

"No, but..."

"Then he's fine if he just had a single beer."  The EMT said, calming Mattias who had a deathly parlor from fear.

"Here's the bill and goodbye,"  The EMT said, seeing himself out the door.

"Glad to know I'm not going to die, but please don't scare me like that,"  Mattias said.

"Sorry but I just don't want you to die over something like this."  You said.  Mattias gave you a pat on the back.

"I need a cold bottle of beer now."  Mattias mumbled, heading off to the fridge.

Finland

Bark!  Bark!  Bark!

"Please stop!"  You heard a desperate Tino plead.  You sighed and walked into the living room.

What you found was two excited puppies trying to catch Tino's cat tail.

"Cocoa!  Hana!"  Tino cried, sounding distressed.  "You'll break my tail!  You two are two rough!"

'He let them play with it?'  You wondered.  You shook your head and walked up to them.  You were quick to grab the two puppies by the scruffs of their necks.

The squirmed and struggled under your grip but were unable to escape as you dragged them to another room and placed them in there, shutting the door so they couldn't escape.

You ignored the whines and scratching as you went back to Tino who was taking a breather.

"Thank you,"  Tino said, holding his tail.

"No problem, but don't let them play with your tail.  It encourages them to keep trying."  You said.  "It looks like they took off some fur."

"R-right,"  Tino said, his ears dipping downward.

Iceland

You glanced at the clock.  It said it was almost 12 pm.

You sighed and walked into the bedroom where you found Emil still sleeping in bed.  You gave Emil a shake.

"Come on Emil, it's time to get up, it's no longer morning."  You said.  Emil just groaned.

"No, don't wanna,"  Emil grumbled.

"Why not?"

"... Because I am a cat,"  Emil mumbled.

"What does that have to do with it?"

"Cats get to sleep all day,"  Emil said.  You raised an eyebrow.

"That's not much of an excuse and this isn't how this works."  You said.

"Too bad."  Emil said, making you sigh.

It was then that Mr. Puffin flew in and landed beside Emil, beginning to peck at him.

"Oi!  Get up!"

"Shut up,"  Emil said, shoving Mr. Puffin away.  "I'll eat you if you don't."

"Don't ignore me!"  Mr. Puffin said, flapping beside Emil.

"Nope,"

"Okay then, I guess I'll tell your boss you are sleeping during his call."  Mr. Puffin threatened.

Emil was quick to throw the covers off and run out of the room and to the home office.

"Thank you Mr. Puffin."  You said.  Mr. Puffin nodded and flew off.

Norway

Stare.

"..."

Stare.

"..."

Stare.

"... Do you want to pet them dyrebare?"  Lukas asked, looking up from his book.  You averted your eyes which had been fixed on Lukas's fluffy cat ears.

"I-is that okay?"  You asked, a bit flustered.

"Yes,"  He said simply, bending slightly to let you get to his ears more easily.  You cautiously raised your hand and softly touched them.

"Wow... it's so fluffy..."  You said, sparkles in your eyes as your petting turned to scratching.

'It feel so nice and-'

Purr.

'Huh?'

Your focus shifted and it was then that you noticed that it was Lukas who let out the purr.  You stopped scratching and moved your hand away, only to have Lukas grab your wrist and look up at you.

"Don't stop, keep going."  He said.  You blushed and nodded, giving him more scratches behind his ear, making Lukas purr more.

'Being a cat actually suits Lukas a lot,'  You thought to yourself.

Sweden

You shifted the shopping bags and opened the door, the hair on the back of your neck rising up.

'There's a fishy smell in here... Don't tell me the smell of the Surströmming is still lingering,'  You thought to yourself [A/N: Please See "He (Attempts) To Cook For You" Chapter].

You shivered at the thought and put the bags down, deciding to follow your nose.  It led you to the kitchen.

You gulped and braced yourself, closing your eyes as you opened the kitchen door.  You opened your eyes and found something you were not expecting;

Berwald was sitting at the table eating a large amount of fish.  And he had stopped and was staring at you.

"... Berwald?"

"Mmm?"

"W-why is there s-so much fish?"  You asked.

"I'm cr'v'ng [craving],"  He said simply, taking another bite.

"... why?"  You asked, a bit confused.  Berwald swallowed his bite before answering.

"B'c'use I'm a c't [Because I'm a cat]"  Berwald said, causing you to tilt your head.

"Y-you only have cat e-ears and a t-tail though?"  You countered.

"..."  Berwald was silent as he closed his eyes.  After a moment he reopened them.

"I'm a Sw'd'sh n'ko [I'm a Swedish neko],"  Was his response as he continued to eat.

'... I still don't quite get the logic but at least fish is healthy... though I don't know if that matters in large amounts...'  You thought to yourself with a sigh.