Eden and i had an unusual relationship.

Lemme introduce yall to Eden.

From far anyone could describe him as the perfect guy, the guy who was extremely popular amongst girls, the one who excelled at every sport you could name, a few people also thought of him as a spoilt brat since Eden did show off alot. He used to lie about a bunch things a couple of times to get attention.

Me and Eden had been in a relationship for only a little over a month. It was a long distance relationship since i moved to a different city. Eden and I were never close, of course we were there for each other during the good times, although when it came to the bad Eden would never bother.

Dont get me wrong though, I was there for him when he needed someone to talk to but when it came to me? Eden wouldnt really care much. Honestly I wouldnt blame him either way cause we werent close in the first place.

Although this wasnt the reason for me, not wanting to continue the relationship.

Since Eden was the popular guy, when people found out he was dating me they didnt really give us the most positive reaction. They hated it. They didnt expect Eden to choose someone like me. I wasnt even assuming all of this cause a friend of mine actually told me how Eden deserved so much better than me.

I agree.

I wasnt the prettiest girl he could get. I know he deserved so much better than me.

I remember all the people i considered my friends started texting Eden to convince him to dump me. They compared me to his previous exs. They degraded me. They told Eden how i wasnt worthy of his time. Since he wasnt convinced these people started making up shit.

It was frustrating to be honest.

It was frustrating to be labelled as 'not enough' or 'not worthy'.

For once I knew what i had to do, even though i knew i was being selfish. I knew i had to protect myself from all the negativity or i would just end up losing myself finally.

I eventually did break up after a few months.

I knew i had to cut off Eden to get away from all those people. I knew very well if i asked him to leave his friends for me, he would choose his friends.

After all i meant nothing much to him.

Although Eden did like someone else. I knew her. She moved there a couple of months before me and Eden started dating.

They would go on random meetups and click cute little pictures.

I knew breaking up would also help im in so many ways. He would finally get somebody who was better than me, somebody who deserved him.

I remember crying all day and night for about 2 weeks after the breakup.

I wasnt hurt about leaving him.

I was hurt about the things all of my so called 'friends' said. It hurts when you've supported each one of them during their lows but they arent there when you need them.

I was so fucking hurt.

Honestly my self confidence was shattered. I hated myself for being who i was. I hated myself for not being pretty like others.

And I knew, I knew for a fact I could never be as pretty as the other girls. I could never be someone's first choice. I can never be enough.

I just hoped somebody in the future would finally accept me for who I am. Somebody who would genuinely find me pretty and treat me right. Somebody who wouldnt think once before choosing me over other girls.

Oh, how i would love to be someone's first choice and not just an option.