Tommy

December 17th, 2023

Coming back from our weekend trip, I had to face my problems again. I wished our getaway could've lasted longer. It was evening already, and while I wanted to rest after such a long trip home, I couldn't delay this further.

Shirley finally agreed to meet me at our usual restaurant for a talk. It had almost been a month since I told her we 'needed to talk', and she'd avoided me as much as possible. At school, in the neighborhood, everywhere. It felt weird not having her text me every second, wondering where I was, or who I was with. It was pretty liberating, to say the least.

I checked my phone. 6:40. She was ten minutes late. I sighed impatiently. I should've known she wouldn't come. I should've broken up with her over text.

Just as I debated whether to leave, rapid footsteps approached me, stopping at my table.

Shirley panted, slumping in her seat. "You won't believe what just happened to me!" She eyed the hamburger I was eating, glancing at the empty space in her place. "You didn't order anything for me?"

I didn't answer, taking another bite.

"Ugh. Whatever." She waved her hand for a waiter and ordered a chicken sandwich with a large iced tea. She shivered and rubbed her mittened hands together when he left. "Why did you get a table outside? It's freezing out here."

I still didn't respond.

She scoffed. "Okay. You want to talk about... us, right? This better be worth it. 'We need to talk'? Overused much?"

I sighed and put down my burger, wiping my mouth with my napkin.

"Oh-my-God, I told you millions of times, Tommy. That kind of burger isn't good for you. You're better off with chicken, like me. If you don't want a huge potbelly jiggling when you're playing-"

"All right. Let's talk," I cut her off.

"Fine. Let's talk." She leaned forward. "I'm guessing I did something wrong? I don't remember anything, but go ahead and give me your POV."

"Let me refresh your memory, then. You talked trash about Diana after what they did to her in the locker room, and you actually agreed to literal torture."

"I didn't agree with anything."

"You said, and I quote, 'that's what she gets'. Just... why?" I said.

"Why? She wandered in there."

"Uh, no, she didn't. They dragged her in there. By force."

"Doreen told me she went into-"

"Doreen? You're going to believe a hack like Doreen?"

Shirley scoffed. "Don't insult my friends like that."

"If she's the type to torture a girl she doesn't even know for no reason, then I'll insult her all I want."

"Okay- fine." She smacked her hand on the table. "I said it was mean! I admitted it, okay?"

"Yeah, then you were all, 'she wanted to come back to school, so she deserved it'."

"I never said she deserved it. I just thought it was stupid that she came back to school knowing how much everyone hated her. And then she tried to kill herself. Like, duh. People weren't gonna want her back. Lucas was just kidding, anyway."

"You see? You're giving more and more reasons for me to end it," I pointed out.

"Oh, what? Telling you the obvious?"

"'Lucas was just kidding'? What kind of mentality is that?"

"Don't play innocent, Tommy," she retorted. "Just last year, you guys were throwing all your new teammates in the hallway, in their underwear. And you and your brothers always did messed-up stuff to Amy. Don't try to play the saint now."

A long stretch of silence played out between us. I couldn't refute her words. With the team, I'd always join the guys in hazing the new ones. I was scared that they'd do the same to me, or Harry, if I didn't agree.

But with Amy... she was right. We would always play pranks or call her names, thinking we were joking, but we were hurting her, picking at her self-esteem bit-by-bit. She would cry and outright tell us we were bullying her, but we would laugh it off and call her a crybaby. We were making her life hell. That was why she ran away.

That was why God took her from us.

"Hypocrite much?" Shirley said, sipping her iced tea.

Her words brought me back to reality, making my temper flare. "You don't know Diana. You don't know what she's been through. And if you still think something like that is funny, then you've got a screw loose."

"I'm just saying Lucas made it sound funny. When I watched the video, I realized it wasn't," she reasoned.

"Why the heck were you talking to Lucas?"

"We're friends."

"Since when?"

"Who cares? You're his friend."

"No," I said sharply, "I'm not. You know I don't like him. We're just on the same team."

"What do you care about the team? You're not going to college."

"The point is, I don't like that you're talking to him."

"Oh, says the guy that has a bunch of side chicks he's hiding from me?"

Unexpectedly, I burst out laughing. Her jealousy had reached delusional status. I was guilty of looking at those links, but I'd actually worked on stopping the habit. This girl was talking to my worst enemy behind my back.

"What's so funny?" she snapped.

"Nothing. I'm just going to end it here. This is pointless."

"Yeah. Go to your side chicks."

"I don't have any side chicks," I said sharply. "Never did, never will. I'm sorry about the links, but I've been working on improving myself. Not that you'd do the same."

"If there's one thing I'll thank that foster freak for, it's that prank she pulled. Who knows how long you would've gone on without telling me the truth?" She held her iced tea in her hand, gesturing with it before taking another sip.

"Will you stop calling her stuff like that?!" My voice started rising, and I noticed some other people looking our way.

"Stuff like what?"

"That! 'Foster freak', 'ghost girl'- that's enough! Why do you hate her so much?"

"You hated her, too." She ate her sandwich.

"We didn't hate her."

"So now she's your sister? You're letting her replace Amy?"

"She's not replacing anyone. She's Diana. Amy is Amy. And Diana needs a home. She..." I choked on a sob, my emotions spilling out. "She doesn't deserve... to think the way she does. Always blaming herself for everything. She thought she was making our lives better by killing herself. Do you realize how that made us feel? None of this... she didn't ask for any of this."

Shirley's face crossed with a tinge of sympathy, but it wasn't enough to change my mind about cutting her out. I should've listened to Amy. I should've listened to my family. I should've realized that she was draining me. Why didn't I listen to something so obvious?!

She gave me one taste, and I was hooked. She baited me, convincing me she was the only way to what I wanted, that she'd give me another taste again... someday. She never did.

"Tommy." She took my hand. "Listen. I get it. You're a great person, you care about other people... the problem is, people like you get screwed over a lot. I know girls like Diana. They're really sneaky. They make you feel like this just so they can get attention. I know the type, well. I've had experience. It's not worth it."

I stared at her. She was set in that mentality. Nothing would change it. That ignorance wouldn't go away, no matter how clear the reality was to her. Her past would always cloud her present.

"You don't get it," I realized. I sighed, looking at my unfinished hamburger I no longer wanted to eat. "I hope you have a good life, Shirley." I moved to stand.

She quickly stood, stopping me. "Wait. Just wait." Her jaw trembled. "I'm sorry if you don't want to accept it, okay? I'm just trying to help. I'm being supportive-"

"You're not supportive. I need someone who is."

"When have I not been supportive?!" she challenged.

"With Amy. Whenever I needed to talk to you, you were 'busy'. Then I would see you posting memes on Familiar. And whenever you wanted to talk, I needed to drop everything and answer you, no matter what I was doing. It's always been like that."

"That's not-"

"I'm not finished. With Diana, you just trashed her from the very beginning. Some things you said didn't even have to do with her. But they had to do with Amy."

"You trashed Diana, too!" she protested.

"No, we were just bothered because of her and Amy. You started talking about how ugly she was, or how weird. She looks just like Amy, remember?"

"She doesn't look exactly like Amy."

"Look, you've already heard me out, and now you know why I want to break up with you."

"If I was so horrible, why didn't you break up with me sooner, then?" she snapped. "Was it because of that one night together?"

I hesitated. "Partly, yeah," I admitted.

"Partly? What does that mean?" She scoffed. "You're just a typical man, aren't you? That's all you want."

"That's not it."

"Then what?"

I stared at her, thinking hard about my answer. She raised her blond brows at me.

"Because I kept looking at the good side of you," I said. "You're smart, beautiful, witty, strong. You stand up for yourself when you have to. I wanted to give that a chance. It wasn't just because of that night. I don't want you to think I only wanted to sleep with you and nothing else."

Her blue eyes filled with tears. The sight broke my heart, but I had to do this.

"And... I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for all of this. It's been a difficult time for me and my family." I took out my wallet, sifting through the dollar bills. "It's better for both of us if we go our separate ways." I left a 20-dollar bill.

"No, wait." She put her hand on my shoulder. "Please... Tommy, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I did... all that. I'll change, I promise."

"I know you will."

"Please, give me another chance." Her voice cracked.

I swallowed down my own lump of tears. "I've run out, Shirley. I'm sorry. I hope you find someone else that makes you happy." Reluctantly, I left her.

"Tommy, please. Tommy!" I heard her following me, but I didn't look back. I took out my phone and texted Kyle and Nicole, who were waiting for me to finish.

A napkin hit my back, followed by another. "I'm talking to you!"

I sighed and looked at Shirley, whose face was now tear-stained, mascara dripping down her cheeks. "Look, let's talk about this. I'll stop trash-talking Diana, I'm sorry about that," she begged.

My phone pinged. Well b right over.

"Please, give me another chance! I promise I won't talk to Lucas anymore! I swear, he's just... he's nothing!" She grabbed my arm, hugging my side and pressing her head on my shoulder.

"Shirley, please, stop". I gently pried her off. "Don't embarrass yourself like this, please. And don't think this doesn't hurt me, too." My phone buzzed. Coming around the corner. I looked down the street and saw Nicole's car down the road. "Goodbye, Shirley." I kissed her cheek.

Her shoulders sank. She watched hopelessly as I got in the car with my brother and Nicole. I sat in the back seat and watched her figure get farther and farther through the window until she disappeared.

I let out a shaky sigh as tears pricked my eyes. This hurt a lot more than I expected. I thought the anger would cushion the blow, but my heart was softer than I thought.

"You okay?" Nicole glanced through the rearview mirror at me with concern.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry, Tom," said Kyle.

"No, it was a long time coming." A pause. I rubbed my forehead. "You think she'll... do something crazy at school tomorrow?"

"I doubt it. But if she does, you've got us. Don't worry."

I nodded and leaned into my seat. I felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. Like I was set free after being locked up in chains for the longest time. Amy would've been proud of me, I hoped.

"I wish I could've broken it off sooner."

"It's a toxic relationship, Tommy. It's like being stuck in quicksand," said Nicole, glancing back at me. "We've all had people like that in our lives."

I smiled, but it wasn't genuine. "I wasn't that good to her, though. I shouldn't have been looking at that stuff. I've stopped so far, but... I get really tempted."

They glanced at each other. "Well, you cut her out of your life. That's a start. Now cut out the rest of the poison," said Kyle.

"I try. I do, it's just... so hard." I looked out the window.

He turned in his seat to look at me. "Tom. You like music, don't you?"

"I love it."

He nodded. "Focus on that. You haven't played or sung in months. It'll help you. You'll get past it, I know it." He reached towards me, stretching his hand out.

I smiled and fist-bumped him. Music. That was a good alternative. Just like old times.

I imagine you guys were happy with Tommy XD. Thoughts? Reactions?