Bedtime.

A time that Hoseok simultaneously loved and hated.

Sure, he loved to sleep. It was always nice to be able to rest and recharge after a long day.

What could he possibly hate about sleep?

Well, Hoseok had a special condition. This condition made it very hard for him to sleep, and he hated to admit it to other people. They would just say that he was being childish or a scaredy-cat. At least, he assumed they would. So here he was, curled up in bed with his blanket pulled tightly around him. His eyes were closed, and he was doing his best to relax.

It was so hard to relax though. Just knowing what could happen caused him to experience anxiety. Sleeping was meant to cause relaxation. How could he possibly fall asleep when the act of sleeping made him so anxious? The anxiety sometimes got so bad that he would actually have a panic attack. Maybe he would sleep better if he could take some sleep medication. However, he couldn't take such medication because it would leave him feeling groggy for the whole next day. He couldn't do that.

Feeling helpless, Hoseok just squeezed his eyes shut a little tighter and tried to think about nice things. A calm breeze, a grassy field, wrapping himself in silk, just nice things to fill his mind. It was working. His anxiety was going down, and he was feeling much more relaxed. He was slowly slipping into dreamland, reaching the point of being so relaxed that he had begun to drool onto his pillow.

But then, he heard it. A door slammed and startled him awake. Hoseok sat up, breathing heavily from being thrust into full alert so suddenly. He glanced around his dark room and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Looking to his bedroom door, he saw that it was still ajar, the way he had left it.

With his heart pounding, Hoseok laid back down and tried to relax again. The apartment was silent; everyone else must be asleep. Hoseok needed to sleep as well. Thinking pleasant thoughts again, he gradually lowered his anxiety levels, entering the same state of near-sleep once more.

And again, it didn't last long. Hoseok was startled into full alert at the sound of a loud thunder crack. Quickly sitting up, Hoseok tried to get his breathing under control as he listened to the silence around him. He got out of bed and stepped over to the window. Peeling back the curtain, he looked at the sky. Not a cloud in sight. Stars dazzled the dark void as if someone had poked holes into Heaven's floor. It was beautiful and calm.

"I can't sleep like this..." Hoseok mumbled quietly to himself. Lazily, he shuffled his way out of his bedroom and down the hall. He went to the kitchen and fetched a glass from the cabinet. Not wanting to open a water bottle just for a sip, he simply used the glass to get a small bit of water from the tap. After a small drink, he placed the cup into the sink then headed back to the hall.

His own bedroom was not his destination though. Hoseok didn't bother knocking before entering someone else's bedroom. He made his way over to the bed and crawled onto it carefully. As he made himself comfortable, he felt the blanket drape over him.

"Good night, Hoseokie..." There were no questions asked. This was just accepted.

"Good night, Yoongi-hyung." As much as Yoongi didn't like to be disturbed as he slept, Hoseok knew his hyung wouldn't mind him slipping into his bed like this. After all, this wasn't the first time. Just as everyone knew Hoseok was Yoongi's 'energy source' and motivation at times, Hoseok thought of Yoongi as his stress reliever. He felt safe with all the members, but only Yoongi gave him that sense of anxiety relief when he truly needed it.

---

In the morning, Hoseok felt so much better when he woke up. He had managed to get some quality sleep while being in Yoongi's bed. No more loud noises had startled him. Looking at his sleeping hyung, he couldn't help but smile. Feeling happy that his hyung cared for him, he cuddled closer. However, this resulted in Hoseok being pushed off the bed.

"No..." a very sleepy Yoongi mumbled.

Rising from where he'd fallen on the floor, Hoseok still smiled at Yoongi."Thanks for letting me sleep with you, Hyung." The only response he got was an incoherent grumble that he couldn't even hope to understand. That was fine though. Needing some breakfast, Hoseok headed out of Yoongi's bedroom, nearly crashing into Jimin in the hallway.

"You slept in Yoongi-hyung's room again?" Jimin asked with a chuckle. He thought that was cute and a little childish. He didn't know why his hyungs would sleep together. The last time he had crawled into another member's bed was when there was some trouble with their heating during the winter. He had crawled into Taehyung's bed for warmth.

"No, of course not." Hoseok denied."I was just trying to wake Hyung up for breakfast."

Jimin didn't believe that answer, but he decided not to question it."Did it work?"

"Nope." Hoseok really didn't want to explain to anyone that he had gone to Yoongi's bedroom during the night because of being startled by loud noises that no one else heard. He didn't want to sound like a scared child or worse. Crazy. Going to the kitchen, Hoseok opened the fridge and got out the milk, wanting to start his day with a smooth drink.

The morning was pretty usual. Everyone had their showers and breakfast then headed to their respective work spaces. Their music wasn't going to write and produce itself. As they all worked, Hoseok occasionally found himself wondering if he would ever explain to the others why he often slept in Yoongi's bed. The others did seem to be a little suspicious, though they also didn't question him on it. They respected him and his privacy, which he greatly appreciated. Still, Hoseok could tell that the others wanted to know what was happening with him.

Even Yoongi didn't really know why Hoseok often slept in his bed. He didn't mind and was glad that he could help Hoseok relax and sleep. That didn't mean he was never curious to know the reason. Respecting Hoseok's privacy over the topic though, it was just accepted.

---

Regardless, Hoseok found himself in the same state of anxiety again that night. He was the last to go to bed, all the others being tired from the busy day. Hoseok was tired too, but the thought of sleeping put him on edge. After turning off his bedroom light, he left the door ajar, as always. Stepping over to his bed, Hoseok laid down and tried to get comfortable, but his heart started pounding as soon as his head touched his pillow.

Anxiety really made it hard to breathe. His heart was pounding too fast, and his breaths were so heavy and uneven. It unnerved him so much to go through this every night. Sure, the loud noises weren't a nightly occurrence, but the anxiety was. Just thinking he might be woken up by such a sudden noise put him on edge and sent his anxiety level through the roof."Think nice things." he reminded himself.

By filling his mind with nice thoughts of pleasant things, Hoseok managed to put himself at ease. Before he knew it, he was drooling onto his pillow, slipping away into dreamland. Maybe tonight, he could sleep in peace.

A loud bang didn't let that be a reality. Hoseok shot upright, quickly glancing around his room. Breaths heavy and heart pounding, he listened closely. The rest of the apartment was silent again. With a huff, Hoseok got off his bed and made his way straight to Yoongi's bedroom. Crawling into his hyung's bed, Hoseok made himself comfortable. Just like last night, the blanket was draped over him by Yoongi.

"Good night, Hoseokie..." Yoongi mumbled sleepily.

"Good night, Hyung." Hoseok closed his eyes and thought of nice things yet again. This was so frustrating. All he wanted to do was sleep. Why did he have to hear loud noises that no one else heard? Was it too much to ask for the ability to sleep peacefully?

Unaware of Hoseok's struggle, Yoongi quickly fell back to sleep. This seemed so normal to him that he thought nothing of it right now. He just slept with Hoseok beside him, like everything was okay.

Lying beside Yoongi didn't keep away the noises this time though. Hoseok was close to dreamland again when a sudden door slam jolted him awake. He flinched at the sound and began to breathe heavily again, his heart racing. His reaction to the sound seemed to bring Yoongi out of his sleep, his hyung's hand moving up to rest on his arm.

"Hoseokie..? You okay..?" Yoongi didn't know what caused Hoseok to panic so suddenly. Everything was calm and quiet, except for Hoseok, who seemed to be in peak anxiety.

"I'm okay..." Hoseok lied, despite his obvious panic.

That lie was a red flag for Yoongi. Now he definitely knew something was wrong. That brought him more out of his sleepy state."Talk to me, Hoseok." He kept his tone soft, not wanting to further upset his fellow member and close friend."You know you can tell me anything, right?" When Hoseok gave a very small nod, Yoongi's lips spread into a reassuring smile."Please tell me what's scaring you."

"You're not going to think I'm being childish, are you?" Hoseok was relieved to see that smile on Yoongi's lips. It always made him feel like he was welcomed into a safety zone.

"Of course not. We're all scared of certain things. It's not childish at all." Yoongi scooted a little closer to Hoseok and ghosted his fingers down along his arm until he reached his hand, gently grabbing it.

"Okay, well, um..." Hoseok didn't quite know how to explain this without sounding crazy. He could only hope that Yoongi would understand. After all, his hyung was the first person he was telling about this."I hear things." He bit his lip for a second, knowing how that sounded."Like, loud noises. It's not constant. Just when I'm about to fall asleep. I'll be dozing off, but then, I'll hear a door slam or thunder or a bang. But the sounds aren't real. No one else hears them."

Yoongi listened closely to Hoseok's words, trying to understand what he was saying."So you hear loud noises that no one else hears when you are close to falling asleep?"

"Yeah." Hoseok peered at Yoongi's face, seeing that his smile had faded."I know it sounds crazy. I sound crazy."

"No, no, you don't sound crazy." Yoongi reassured."I'm just trying to understand. Do you know what causes you to hear those noises?"

Slightly, Hoseok shrugged his shoulders, hard to do in his current laying position."I did some googling, but I haven't talked to a doctor about it. What I found while googling suggests that it's caused by stress. I tried to find treatments that don't require seeing a doctor, but all I could find was the suggestion to relax before trying to sleep. That's hard to do because of our busy schedule, and since I know I'm going to be startled by those loud sounds when I try to sleep, I get really bad anxiety when I even think of going to bed."

This was something Yoongi didn't know how to solve. He would do his best to help though. Sleep was very important. Without it, people wouldn't be able to function properly."If it'll help you sleep better, you can always sleep in here with me whenever you feel anxious or scared. You kinda already do that."

"As long as it doesn't bother you, Hyung." Feeling rather relieved to be able to finally tell someone about his struggle, Hoseok sighed."Please don't tell the others. I haven't told them yet, and I want to figure out a better way of explaining it before I try to tell them. I know they won't judge me, but it still makes me feel self-conscious."

"I won't tell them. I promise, Hoseokie." In a way, it made Yoongi feel special to be the only person to know about Hoseok's struggle. It was nice to be trusted.

Snuggling closer to his hyung, Hoseok wanted to try to rest again."Let's go to sleep. I'm sure I'll sleep better now that you've helped me calm down."

"Alright. Good night, Hoseokie."

"Good night, Hyung."

A/N: This struggle is called Exploding Head Syndrome. People who have this disorder often hear sudden loud noises when they are falling asleep or even soon after waking up. The most common noises heard by people with this disorder are loud bangs/thumps, thunder, slamming doors, knocking, voices, explosions, and gunshots. This disorder very often causes those who have it to experience anxiety when trying to sleep because they are scared of being startled by the loud noises. The noises are literally hallucinations caused by stress and anxiety. I have this disorder myself, and it's definitely not pleasant.