[014] are you sure you want in?

                              After Logan Roy had gotten pee thrown in his face, it was clear that something had to be done to change the man's image.

                             Most of the world hated him and that wasn't going to change. Everything he stood for was everything the world was against. Not only did he have serious allegations against him and his company but he was overall a giant piece of shit. So, with that being said, if Logan wanted the world to be on his side again, he was going to have to find a way to change his image. And what better than showing that he was a true family man at heart?

                             Proposing the idea of family therapy (Logan had both Stewy and Alice's dad to thank for it), the Roy clan and their significant others were all heading to Austerlitz, Connor's ranch out in New Mexico. The family therapy session was really one big attempt at fixing Logan's family image, rather than helping out his family in any way. And the only two people who happened to know the truth was Alice and Catherine.

                            Catherine knew because she had been at the meeting and her father told her to make Alice go with them. It had come at the perfect time to since the glorious news of Roman and Alice's engagement. Following up with a family therapy session was supposed to be a recipe for perfection. But Alice couldn't help but feel as though it was about to be a total shit show.

                           "You feeling nervous?" Alice asks, sitting next to Roman inside the car driving them straight to Connor's ranch.

                           "Me? Nervous. Never," Roman shakes his head. "In case you forgot, I'm a pro at therapy."

                          "Right. You're a basket-case so you've had lots of it," Alice retorted.

                          "Don't act like you haven't gotten any," Roman scoffed.

                          "Uh, I haven't," Alice admitted.

                           Roman raised a brow. "Seriously?"

                           "One, my parents don't believe in therapy. And two, I don't think I need any. I mean, I turned out fine," Alice argued.

                           Roman chuckles, only for Alice to immediately punch his arm. "Ow! How was I supposed to know you were joking?"

                           "Because I am perfectly fine," Alice exclaimed.

                           "I mean, you had a really bad habit of throwing up anything you ate for years and you have a really big sex problem. But sure, you're fine," Roman drawls, his tone carrying heavy sarcasm.

                           Alice rolled her eyes. "This is supposed to be about you and your fucked up family, not me. Besides, I don't appreciate you trying to psycho-analyze me."

                           "Isn't that what marriage is about, my dear? It isn't true love if you aren't driving each other crazy and pointing out your partner's deepest insecurities. Without that, it's just fucking boring," Roman remarked.

                           "At least I know marrying you won't be boring then," Alice retorted.

                           Roman smiles at her.

                           When they arrive at Connor's ranch, they get out of the car - greeted by Connor and Willia. To be honest, Alice was shocked that Willa lasted this long. But one would say the same for her if they didn't know the circumstances surrounding her and Roman's seemingly perfect relationship.

                           They head inside, soon greeted with the others. Catherine was by Damian's side, the only Han heir having his arm wrapped around her. Catherine and Alice exchange a nod of acknowledgement before Damian whispers something in her ear, drawing her attention once again.

                             "Those two are getting awfully close, aren't they?" Roman questioned.

                             "Yeah," Alice answered.

                             "How much you wanna bet they're gonna break up by the end of this month?" Roman inquired.

                             "Rome, don't be rude. At least give it two months," Alice grinned.

                             "I knew there was a reason I chose to propose to you," Roman sighee.

                             "Besides your dad forcing you to? My, I'd love to hear it," Alice states, earning a chuckle from Roman.

                             Roman and Alice walk further inside the house, finding Shiv sitting down and on her phone. Whoever she was talking to was making her smile. But she quickly puts her phone away when she sees the couple approaching her.

                            "Okay. The entertainment has arrived," Roman announced.

                            "Talking about yourself?" Alice teased with a raised brow.

                             "Love you too, honey," Roman retorts in a mocking tone.

                             Shiv chuckles, amused by the two. "You two are adorable. Congratulations on the engagement, by the way."

                            "Thank you," Alice smiles, twirling the beautiful engagement ring around her finger.

                            "A little fast, don't you think?" Shiv questioned, glancing between the two of them. If she suspected anything, she wasn't going to say it out loud.

                            "Well, we just really wanted to find a way to out-do your upcoming big day so...," Alice trails off, the smile on her face letting the red head know that she was kidding.

                            "Ha, good luck," Shiv teases before she stands up, although she doesn't look too happy. Not because of Alice's joke, per se. But the mention of her wedding entirely. Was the bride-to-be suddenly getting cold feet?

                            "This is like the first stages of an orgy. Kind of exciting, but also super awkward," Roman chimes in, his hands snug in his pocket.

                            "There. I did it," Tom declared as he walked towards the group. "Hi, Alice."

                            "Hey," Alice nods.

                            "Did what?" Shiv asks.

                            "I just iced your dad," Tom cryptically responded.

                            "Hey, Tom," Roman interjects with a smirk.

                            "Hey," is all Tom says before turning to look at his fiancée, motioning ahead of him. "Can I...?"

                            "Uh, yeah, I'm not in charge of you," Shiv nods while Roman and Tom briefly shake hands. "But go get me a drink."

                            A quick rub on the arm and an 'I'm joking' from Shiv lets Tom know that she was only kidding. Without it, Tom probably would've did her bidding.

                           "So where's the actual head doctor guy?" Roman asks once Tom was gone.

                           "I wouldn't know. No one tells me anything," Shiv answered with a shake of her head.

                          "Well, hope he can cure your serious case of being a bitch," Roman remarked, earning a punch to the arm from Shiv.

                         "Ow, fuck," Roman frowned. "What is it with women and violence?"

                         "Fuck you," Shiv responds.

                         "Fuck you," Roman says right back.

                         "You totally deserved that," Alice replied.

                         "Thank you, Alice," Shiv smiled.

                         "You're supposed to be on my side, remember?" Roman pouted.

                         "Not when you're being a dick," Alice argued.

                         "Bet Dad's gonna try and win at therapy," Shiv suggested a moment later.

                         "Well, he hasn't done therapy with me yet. I'm an expert," Roman stated. 

                         "Oh, yeah?" Shiv raises a brow.

                         "Oh, yeah," he nods, motioning up and down his body, "This is what it looks like when you resolve all your issues."

                         "Uh-huh," Shiv remarked while Alice just scoffs. "Alice, this is the man you're going to be marrying. Are you sure you want in?"

                         "Yeah, unfortunately," she sighs.

                         "My guy says that if Dad had therapy, I wouldn't need so much," Shiv remarked.

                         "My guy's surprised I got through it at all," Roman added.

                         "I don't think you did," Alice shook her head.

                         "I second that," Shiv nods in agreement.

                         Roman immediately started mimicking the both of them, to which Shiv and Alice mimicked him right back.

                          "See, I will have you both know that I am very well adjusted. You two are just good at hiding it," Roman argued.

                          Although Alice was smiling, Roman's words cut deep. Was she good at hiding how fucked up she was? No one knew the full depth of her issues, not even Roman.

                           The therapist, Dr. Alon Parfitt, arrived after that and although Roman tried to frame Connor for sexually assaulting him (another one of Roman's fucked up jokes), things were going relatively smoothly. The therapy session was scheduled for the next day which meant they'd have to spend the night there.

                           The next morning rolled around quickly and Alice had to get ready alongside Roman, the two of them heading down the same time Shiv and Tom did. Everyone was already outside along with Dr. Parfitt. So when they arrived with Shiv and Tom, Dr. Parfitt immediately perked up with a small smile.

                           "Morning. Okay, let's do this," Dr. Parfitt remarked.

                           "The therapy? This way for the therapy," Logan got up, heading forward excitedly. Or as excitedly as an eighty-year-old man could be.

                           "Good luck," Alice says, ruffling Roman's hair and making him grumble in complaint.

                           Alice then sat down at one of the chairs, alongside Damian, while Tom waved at his wife from the distance.

                           "Like waving your kids off to school," Tom commented.

                          "Your dysfunctional kids," Damian scoffed.

                          "They better not gang up on him," Marcia declared with a frown. "He's still frail."

                          "I'm sure they won't," Alice shakes her head, trying her best to assure the older woman.

                          "Congratulations on getting engaged. Cat told me all about it, although I already heard about it from the news," Damian remarked.

                          "Thanks," Alice nods, briefly glancing down at the ring once again before back up at Damian. "Are you and Catherine an item now?"

                          "Yeah, you can say that. I'm just shocked you and Roman are actually preparing to tie the knot. He doesn't seem like your usual type," Damian states.

                         Alice narrows her eyes at him. "You'd be surprised at how true love changes you."

                         Damian chuckles and Alice has the unsettling feeling that he sees past her bullshit. She certainly doesn't remember Damian being so terrifying back when they had all gone to school together. She hardly recognizes him.

                          "Mm, well congratulations nonetheless. I have a feeling you'll be celebrating a lot lately," Damian remarked.

                          "And why's that?" Alice raised a brow.

                          "A little birdie told me that Dae-Hyun Ryu has been asking around for you and your magazine. I see a potential business deal there," Damian answered.

                          "Isn't he a part of the Ryu family? They're kajillionaires from owning all those casinos and stuff. I didn't even know he was back in town," Tom gushed, sounding like a fan boy.

                          Everyone turns to look at Tom.

                          "I've done a little research on him," Tom sheepishly answers.

                          "You'd be correct. We haven't met. I've been busy," Alice states.

                          "But you will, right? You'd be an idiot to turn him down," Damian remarked.

                          "Damian... kind of has a point," Tom admits.

                          Alice sighed. "Whatever. It's my magazine now so I'll make the decisions. But thanks for the business advice."

                           "Tell me, do you think you'll always do what you do?" Marcia questioned.

                           "What, the theatre?" Willa inquired.

                           "Yes, and what you do for money," Marcia bluntly answers. 

                           "Uh-huh. Uh, well, you know, I like my life, and kind of just go with the flow, so yeah, I think I'll just slide more over into producing or writing or directing," Willa answers.

                          "Good for you. If you're ever looking for an actress, I'm your girl," Alice offers.

                          "Since when do you act?" Damian raised a brow.

                          "I did a commercial when I was eight, asshole," Alice retorted.

                          "Oh. Uh, I'll definitely consider it," Willa quickly nods.

                          "I knew a woman in Paris. She did what you do. She was very intelligent," Marcia recalled. 

                          "Oh, thank you," Willa smiles.

                          "And do you want children?" Marcia questioned.

                          "Um, I don't know. Maybe one day," Willa shrugged.

                          "Don't wait. That's all I will say," Marcia advised. "You too, Alice."

                          "The old biological clock starts a-ticking. You could always freeze," Tom remarked.

                          "That's a way of putting off life," Marcia argues.

                          "I'd like Shiv to freeze. Embryos, not eggs. A little bit of me in the bank. Thought about that?" Tom explained.

                         "So much advice! Wow," Willa exclaimed.

                         "Too much to choose from. I'll be thinking it over really hard tonight," Alice drawled.

                         "You know my friend from Paris, who was your way? She actually was murdered," Marcia declared, earning looks from the rest of the group. "It was nothing to do with her being a prostitute, it was to do with a restaurant that went poof!"

                         "Poof?" Alice repeats, feeling more confused than ever.

                         But besides the confusion that followed, Alice was able to get through the rest of it. As Alice would later learn from Roman after the session ended, things in the room hadn't been any better.  So as Alice suspected, it had been a total shit show.

                         Now as the day grew much later, Alice and Willa had teamed up to go and swim together. Roman joined them, although he went as far as sitting on the edge of the water with his legs dangling in the water. Alice was in a bikini, swimming around and allowing herself to relax.

                         "What are you doing all the way over there?" Alice asks, now swimming towards him.

                         "Watching you, duh," Roman shrugs.

                         "I know that. But why? You know you could do a lot more than just watch. You could get wet with me," Alice responded, winking at him.

                         "And here I thought I was the one with a dirty mind," Roman snorts.

                         "Seems like you two are a perfect pair," Willa remarked.

                         "Just like you and Connor. And I don't mean that as a diss, by the way. He seems to like you a lot," Alice states.

                         "Yeah. Something like that," Willa responds, looking away from the two after that.

                         "Oh my God, do the two of you actually do it or something?" Roman questioned.

                         "Rome! That's none of your business," Alice splashes Roman and he instantly splashes her back in retaliation.

                         "I'm just curious," Roman shrugged.

                         "Why? Wanna watch?" Willa teased.

                         "Ha fucking ha," Roman says while Alice laughs.

                        Just then, Dr. Parfitt was approaching them while wearing a robe. Alice swims closer to Roman, resting her head on his leg while Roman turns around to look at the man.

                        "Hey," he greets them all.

                        "Oh, hi. You coming in?" Roman questioned.

                        "Oh, yeah," Dr. Parfitt answers, taking off his robe.

                        "Good for you," Alice cheers.

                        "Don't be afraid of what's down there," Roman adds. "Pretend it's our subconscious and just go for it."

                       "I know how to dive," Dr. Parfitt stated.

                        "Yeah, you gotta jump," Willa encouraged him.

                        "You want me to jump?" Dr. Parfitt questioned.

                        "Jump! Jump! Jump!" Willa and Alice both chant at the same time.

                       "Jump, ya fucking pussy," Roman goaded him.

                        Dr. Parfitt raced towards the pool, diving right in. But it would end up going horribly wrong. He jumped into the shallow end, getting horribly injured. When he emerged back out of the water, there was blood all over his mouth and face and Alice knew things were going downhill quickly.

                         All of them race out of the water, helping Dr. Parfitt out and going towards the house.

                        "We don't know if he got a head injury or...," Willa trails off as she holds onto the man, leading him inside the house.

                        "He just dived in and he hit the bottom," Roman adds with Alice nervously following behind him.

                        "Did you hit your head?" Willa then asked.

                       Dr. Parfitt tries to answer but his voice was muffled due to the towel in his mouth.

                        "He hit his teeth?" Connor offered.

                         "His teeth are in his head, Connor, it's kind of a central feature," Roman corrects him, causing Alice to nudge him. Now definitely wasn't the time to be a smartass.

                         "Alon, it's signed. It's clearly signed. What were you thinking?" Connor questioned.

                         Alice looks away, knowing she was part to blame. She had egged the man on to dive along with Willa and Roman, and now he was injured.

                         "Shall I call an ambulance?" Marcia questioned.

                         "I didn't think he'd jump on headfirst," Roman shrugged, confused when he spotted Karolina. "Hi, Karolina."

                         "Hey, Roman. Don't let him go to sleep," Karolina advised.

                         "I don't want to go to fucking sleep!" Dr. Parfitt shouts, although it was incredibly muffled.

                         "Let's take a look. The bleeding always makes it look worse than it actually...," Willa trails off as she pulls the towel away, revealing the man missing a lot of his front teeth.

                         "Fuck," Alice groans before she runs off in disgust, feeling bile rise in her throat.

                         She makes it to the nearest bathroom before she opens up the toilet and puked right inside of it. Alice grips onto the sides, trying to ignore how familiar this all was. And when she finished, she sat there on the bathroom floor for what felt like an eternity.

( 🥀💔🍸 )

word count: 2827
notes: i was going to add the final scene in the episode but i didn't know where to put her so i didn't bother. the next chapter is jumping straight into chapter eight and oh boy...