Irene sat in a solo interview, her heart restless as she sat in front of thousands of fans and a host who watched her. She was visibly uncomfortable but as the producer of the live interview shouted action, her composure plastered itself on her face. She smiled as the host introduced her earning screams to erupt as she waved to those around her. The host shook her hand signalling her to take a seat. "Welcome Irene, it's a pleasure to finally get to do an interview with you." Irene smiled at her as she continued. " So last Friday you dropped a stunning album called perspective..." fans again cheered as she looked at them, laughing "it's practically broken the internet, not to mention the red velvet album as well..." Irene nodded answering "yeah we've been pretty busy the last few months." " In the last interview you did with the girls they said that you wrote all of the songs and basically choreographed everything..." Irene nodded "Work is something that I love. I'm passionate about it and SM have finally given me the heads up to say yeah you can do what you want, they have given me a pair of legs to stand on, so we sat in a room and I just presented the concepts, which they happened to love. I'd call myself a forward thinker with out sounding to egotistical but I basically designated everything in advance and made the concepts for the video so what we actually had to do was quite minimal..." the host nodded. "So perspective is being loved by so many people, you've broken records with one million views and streams in one hour of release, but some are confused about the concept could you explain..." "Yeah sure, it's good that you guys are confused; that was the whole point. This is basically a relationship that has ran its course, the pain and struggle that you have to hold on to the relationship is what I've tried to capture. perspective is supposed to be ambiguous because you don't know whether your getting my perspective or his. The first three songs are what I imagine to be his thoughts since I didn't receive any form of closure  and so the idea is that this is what I imagine he would say to me, blurred with my perception as well. The last two songs however are distinctively mine... so yeah that was the idea behind it." Fans broke into applause as the host spoke, "I think that your concept is something that has never been done in this industry, the creativeness that you've applied to not only your stuff but the red velvet stuff is different and universal and people are loving it. The last video of the album that shows you crying...I think it broke everyone." Irene smiled softly. "Yeah I mean my idea behind this was quite simple, people label me as this ice queen that seems to have no real emotion but the whole point of this video in particular was to show other wise that there is a part of me that is vulnerable and I do get hurt, I just don't show it because I have so many responsibilities, my suffering and pain is secondary in my opinion. my girls come first for me and that's why I am the way that I am because they need me to be strong, if I'm not things will begin to fall apart. I've just come out of a relationship and so the story I'm showing is my story, and I wanted people to be able to truly connect with my words and those emotions can't be faked, it's pure and that's the beauty of it. And that's why I wanted to show something raw." The host nodded in understanding before abruptly asking "Wait, you were in a relationship?" Irene nervously laughed. "Yeah I was, I have been for the past three years." Loud gasps were heard. "Could you maybe give an insight into the relationship?" "Yeah sure, but I'm not giving any names because we are obviously not together anymore and that's not fair for me to showcase a relationship that was for majority of it between two people so I hope that fans can accept that..." The host nodded as Irene took a deep breath, "I met him in accordance to an event that was work related, and I felt myself smiling in his presence and that's hard for people to accomplish as you all know..." the host and fans laughed as she continued. "We kind of danced around each other, after the event we stayed in contact and interacted away from the cameras and that's how no speculation rose. He was amazing, he was my best friend. My hero and my lover all in one. I'm not gonna go into minute detail but he helped me with emotions that I hid, he helped me talk about them and express them in a way that I was previously reluctant to do. He fixed me essentially through his love by teaching me to love myself, he was there whenever I needed him, through the darkest of times when I felt my world crumble he held the weight for me. And I'd say we like that for each other but at the start he was like a saving grace for me, I had prayed for someone at night to take away the pain that I was constantly feeling and I'm telling you god does exist because he sent me him at a time when I was falling so deep. Our relationship was never simple...some people didn't agree to it and whilst that was only a small minority some friendships were destroyed in the process but we were young and in love and we only cared about that love we had for each other. And everything was perfect until it wasn't. Work was getting busy for the both of us and that's when things fell apart. He started missing my calls and messages and he'd stand me up on dates when we could finally get to meet. He'd call me when he needed to download but would no longer pick up when I needed him. A few weeks ago I was at his party with his mates and that's basically where I found him with another woman right in front of my eyes cheating on me on my birthday. " the audience sat there stunned as Irene turned around wiping a loose tear before forcing a smile. The host returned the smile which Irene was greatful for "So where does that leave you now?" She questioned. "Part of me is obviously angry, I would never condone cheating because you make another person question why they weren't good enough or why they weren't enough and I never got given the answers and closure that I need.
It's still fresh it's only been four weeks and I'm trying to focus on other things but there's part of my heart that won't let go and it's because I still love him. After everything, I still love him but I can't look at him anymore... a part of my heart will forever have his name on it, I can't escape that, I can learn to live with it and I will but trust is vital in any real relationship, that's your main foundation, and through that you have communication and understanding being built and I've lost that foundation, and trust is one of those things that can't really be repaired. My priorities are different now, I have a lot going on and I'm happy with that because by immersing myself in work I'm not giving me heart time to think about him. And I know that with the amazing people around me, that I'll get through it." The audience stood up in applause as the host wrapped up the remainder of the interview, Irene leaving shortly after.

Jackson sat alone watching the interview his eyes watering as he grabbed for the remote switching of the tv.  He needed to talk to her, to reach out and extend something to her. His heart refused to believe that they were over even though his head knew better, he tried to reason with himself: he had hurt her in the worst way, he had disrespected her and her time and broke her heart into more than a thousand pieces. Yet still his irresponsible heart seemed to think that it made the right decision to try and contact her every day whenever he could. He looked at his phone in a way he knew she had done when he left her alone, waiting for a response that he knew he didn't deserve. Just as he turned away from the screen the boys entered the scene watching him trying to predict his move. A move that didn't come, as his shoulders slumped, his head lowered, and eyes covered by his cap. They watched as he tried to cover the tears and they  sighed looking at each other. "Bro we have an awards ceremony to go to..." with no words Jackson nodded and walked to his room grabbing the spare travel bag he always kept and moved out with boys. He forced his way to the driving seat, grateful for the distraction.

They reached the venue two hours later, Jackson refusing to speak as he drove the boys to the place. They were rushed out of the car and taken for wardrobe changes and hair and makeup. He was dressed in a satin maroon suit, the collars highlighted black, contrasting with the deep maroon. His hair was styled slick to the side. The boys wearing similar suits as they moved to the red carpet and began the photo shoots and interviews, he perked up slightly focusing on his work and showcasing their art in the best way he knew, through his personality. Suddenly screams got progressively louder as the girls of Red Velvet entered the scene, walking on the red carpet; Irene's lowered gaze sauntered up meeting his own tense, painful eyes. He watched as the girls came up next to her as they watched them. Irene grabbed for Wendy's hand squeezing it and ripping her gaze from his, she walked with her girls passing the boys as they walked up the steps, Irene who had let go of Wendy's hand tripped on the edge of her dress; she lost her stability feeling herself fall backwards only for a secure hand to wrap around her waist and stomach where her child was sheltered. She grabbed onto the persons shoulders realising it was a male, her closed eyes shooting up to meet his hazel ones. He watched her in anticipation reading the hurt and pain cemented deep with in her eyes. She let his hand ghost on her stomach as she knew this was the only contact her child would have with their father before She pushed herself away from his warmth standing closer to her girls who rushed her past him, standing protectively besides her, Wendy placing a hand on her stomach asking her if she was okay. Jackson watched with brows furrowed at the way the girls fussed over Irene but his thoughts where halted as he was rushed in the other direction with the boys. His head turning to get a glimpse of her one more time.

They had been led to their seats, their table right next to Red Velvets, the girls tensing when they had reached. Irene however just sat down turning her undivided attention to the stage in front of her. She could feel his eyes, and she felt them for practically the rest of the night, ghosting around her form. She shifted under his gaze praying to the gods above that he wouldn't notice anything different about her. She accidentally met his gaze, watching as his softened in delight at the small exchange. She ripped away violently however taking away the happiness he was undeserving off. He was forced to leave however, to perform, with his friends; performing their new single You calling my Name. Those lyrics were directed for her. His gaze aimed at her the entire time as she watched in a state of numbness. She heard the words, but her mind was not allowing her heart to process what could have possibly begun to heal her heart. She gripped onto the table cloth as the boys completed the choreography, she clapped robotically, with a fake smile plastered to her face, her eyes showcasing to her girls and the boys on stage that she was about to breakdown. The boys returned to their seats as the girls stood rather abruptly to prepare for their performance, Jackson sneaking of moments later.

Irene sat in front of the mirror, her hair in bouncy curls, and her makeup done to the very best, her lips were coated in a dark maroon matching his suit she noted. Her eye lashes extended and emphasised with eye liner. She heard a soft knock resound grabbing her attention and forcing herself back into reality. "Come in..." she shouted as the last person she wanted to see walked in. She stood up swinging around from the mirror in which she saw him first. Her eyes no longer trying to hide the resentment. "Irene please I just want to talk..." he spoke his hands held up in mock surrender "there's nothing left to talk about Jackson, we have already had this conversation, we are going around in continuous circles....I don't want to have this conversation..." she moved across past him for the door only for his hand to find her wrist and force her to him. "I'm sorry..." he breathed genuinely but with a hint of frustration. "You're sorry?...really? If you were sorry you wouldn't have left me to cry in my car or on the floor countless nights previous to that. You wouldn't have been able to witness that, if you were truly sorry you would have stopped hurting me time ago but you didn't. You don't get to say sorry to make yourself feel better...no that's not how this works. I'm not letting you free from the guilt that quick Jackson, you don't deserve it. " he watched as her composure slipped further, "did you ever truly love me." He whispered. "You did not just fucking ask me that...you know that I did and you ruined me with that power knowing that I would love you over and over again even if that broke me. I think the real question here Jackson is did you ever love me?" She shook her head turning around. "We are done here, there's no more me and you, stop chasing me around, trying to enter my life again because I can't deal with it. I need to pick myself back up. I need to heal what you broke and I don't need you to be there whilst I do that. We clearly meant fuck all to you so why are you so suddenly interested in my life, when you couldn't even bothered to pick up the phone when we were together?" "Irene, it was a mistake, it wasn't supposed to happen the way it was, I don't know what happened that night but she was making moves on me and I kept her away, I had been keeping her away for months but she-". Irene scoffed, wrenching her hate filled gaze back up to his own solemn one. "It wasn't a mistake... it happened for a reason, you entertained it for months whilst you had a loyal girlfriend who was waiting for you to come home. Your not sorry Jackson so stop lying. What your sorry about is the fact that I found out. That way you can no longer use me to your advantage. Don't you dare come in front of me and disrespect my love for you again, and don't you dare try to cover up what you have done. I've told you before and I'll tell you again. You ended us. Not me. Hell not even Youngji. This is on you. You could have spoken to me, that's what people do in relationships when things get tough, but you chose to blatantly string me along. So don't come here and say that your sorry that you let me down or whatever because your not, you miss the void in your life, you miss not having a fucking life coach. Just stop insulting me and stay the fuck out of my way."  She pushed herself back away from him making her way to the door and  grabbing the handle taking a deep breath. "And stop messaging me. I'm not going to respond. Your wasting your time." She opened the door turning around to him her hand resting on her stomach again as he watched her hesitate for a second. However within seconds, her eyes relapsed to a coldness turning away from him, slamming the door shut. She had done it. She had succeeded in getting him out her life. But why did hurt so much she questioned.

-Authors note:
Hey guys hope you have had an amazing week. Happy Valentine's Day, I hope you enjoy this update, let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. Lots of love and best wishes.