Bruv, dese past two terms at GEN have been right scuffed. Mans never expected all dis bullocks to happen, but here we are, brr.

Is winter break innit, but since mans got no family in Japan, Christmas is gon be bare dead dis year, rrrrip.

Dough good ting is yea, mans can still check out Tokyo and stuff, cos my mans Mikazuchi-sensei hooked me and da other foreign mandem up ya feel me? Us lot are living in a shared apartment, and bruv, is mad fun, skrrrrah.

Mans living wid Albert, big up my G, and Zyriot, real calm lad, innit. Mans feels weird being da only Bri'ish person here, but whatevs bruv, mans dun mind, kr kr kr.

Da other English wasteman is Taka, but mans got family and dat, so mans don't need to live with us. Woulda been peng, dat guys been to London and tings, mans coulda gassed up fried chicken wid him bruv.

Albert's sick at cleaning up dough, mans uses dat vacuum like is no mans business, mans wild wid it, like whshhhh. Zyriot is da only cook from da mandem cos he's like da adult out uv us tree innit.

He mans makes decee fried chicken but mans still craving fo someting more. Albert feels me cos he's black.

No racism intended bruv, don't shank me up, allow it! Mans and Albert just passionate bout good chicken, ya feel me, brrrrap?

Anyways, dis ain't bout mans living conditions, keep your nose outta mans business or get shanked blud, dis is bout how Christmas is gonna be mad dead dis year.

On da Eve mans went to sleep like zzz. When mans woke up and checked da date, mans felt dread innit.

December 25th 2048.

Raaaah fam, allow it. Mans gonna sleep in.

"John, Albert!"

Mans heard Zyriot calling fo us from downstairs innit. What does dis wasteman want huh, ski di pi pap?

Mans went downstairs all cool and dat, cos mans never hot, wid Albert following innit. Bruv, he hasn't shaved in weeks, dis mans beard's grown bare lots fam, poom poom.

"Morning guys, breakfast's ready."

"Oh sick, you mans are safe!"

"Aye, what's popping chief? Appreciate you homie."

Zyriot made mans a peng full English breakfast, sausig, hashes, beans, eggs, basically everyting bruv, while Albert got some peng looking blueberry pancakes wid da freshest syrup.

Meanwhile Zyriot made manself some nasty looking grits and biscuits (which are scones ya American donnies), cos he's from da South innit, but mans won't judge dough, cos no lie, mans eats mad mounts uv blood pudding, skrr.

"Albert, how's the rap career coming along?"

"It's going good, I got over hundred followers now. Gotta thank the Christmas album for boosting the ratings."

Yea bruv, Albert's a sick SoundCloud rapper on Tuesdays innit! He dropped a sick track bout Christmas, ya done kno. Listening to my mans spit bare heat was so gas! Albert could steal Ms Claus if he wanted too, aaaaaak!

"Bruv, Zyriot, my guy. Dese sosigs, dunno what you did to it fam, but they are..."

Mans gotta give him da long chef's kiss.

"Just like how my mum makes it, you are blessed fam. Dese beans too? Taste uv home, right here."

Mans was getting bare emotional over dis breakfast fam, is like mans was in da hood again eating beans from da cans.

"I'm glad you like it John. Though, I actually used one of your cans of baked beans you smuggled into the country."

"Bruv, how'd you cook em? Dey taste bare peng compared to when mans makes em innit."

"I followed the instructions on the packaging?"

"You mans didn't stick it in da microwave for two minutes?"

"No, I cooked it on the stove."

"If dese beans weren't so good, blud, mans woulda cheffed you over dat."

Mans pointed the knife covered in ketchup at Zyriot.

"Wait... huh?"

"Mans don't cook beans on da stove! Mans cook beans in da microwave you donny!"

"The instructions said I could do either."

"Nah fam, beans gotta be cooked in da microwave, dat's da proper Bri'ish way to enjoy em."

"Albert, do you cook beans in the microwave or the stove?"

"I don't cook."

"Good answer."

Aye, yo, Zyriot got shut down by Albert lad, raaaah bruv, chill!

"Okay, but you said my beans taste better. Surely cooking them on the stove is the reason why?"

"How long for then bruv?"

"The instructions said four minutes."

"You mans gonna wait four minutes for beans? You crazy blud, mans only waiting two mins, max."

"Waiting four minutes isn't an issue when you're also busy cooking other things."

"Bruv, mans not a chef like you, mans only cheffing when mans got da shank, ya done kno, so when mans making da beans, mans only eating da beans, maybe wid some toast if mans don't burn it, krakra. Straight from da can too, dat's important innit."

Fam, dese two are giving me bare weird looks. Mans not da weird one here, dey are, rutrut.

"I can microwave you a can instead if you want."

"Allow it, mans happy wid da full English. Dis bacon even proper Bri'ish bacon, you mans did some bare research!"

"American bacon is better, just saying."

"Albert, mans'll shank you."

"Come homie, try it."

Mans looked at Albert and thought mans gonna get beat if mans tried, so mans held back and surrendereded like da French innit.

"Bruv, mans not tryna start beef innit, mans just disagreeing wid you da roadman way, ya done kno!"

"I'm kidding homie, I know you wouldn't shank me."

Albert pat mans on da back.

"Speaking of compliments to the chef, how did you know my favourite pancake is blueberry?"

"You're from Washington, which is the only state where blueberries have a larger growing window compared to the rest of the US."

"Oh, so that's how you figured out. I did use to go blueberry picking a lot with my siblings when I was younger."

"Doogle is my best friend. It helped me a bunch putting together John's breakfast too. Is it true this is what you guys eat for breakfast every morning?"

"Nah bruv, if we ate dis every day, England would be more obese than America fam, raaaaah."

"You have a point... the amount of butter I had to use nearly gave me a heart attack, and I'm not the one eating it."

"Is a special occasion ting, like da great Sunday roast, ya done kno."

"We don't have anything really comparable to that in the US. I think most Americans skip breakfast, actually."

"Acc bruv, Zyriot mans, why'd you go outta your way to make dis extrava-extravagant breakfast for us fam? Mans woulda been fine wid some Weetabix and milk, sloop sloop."

"I wanted you two awake early so we can secure Christmas dinner."

Mans and Albert gave sus looks at Zyriot.

"Mans don't got family to spend Christmas wid tho."

"Same here. I was planning to go back to Washington, but my flight got cancelled due to the snowstorm."

Zyriot looked bare disappointed fam.

"I thought we were going to spend Christmas together because we weren't with any of our family..."

Mans and Albert had a big "ooooooooh" moment. Brains not functioning properly, cos is too early in da morn, mans need more uv dat vitamin A, B, C, D, E, G, and K, alphabet tings innit.

"Mans was planning to sleep thru Christmas."

"I was going to face-call my family."

"Oh... well, this is awkward."

None uv us mandem were on da same wavelength. Mans was gonna sleep, Albert's gonna call his fam, and Zyriot wanted to spend Christmas wid us.

"Bruv, is fine, mans awake now, no point sleeping innit. Less spend Christmas together, it'll be fun, brap brap!"

"I can always talk to my family later. Since we're in Tokyo, let's make the most of it."

"Heh. You guys are the best. Thanks."

Zyriot held his fist out. Mans bumped it wid Albert, kunk kunk.

"Anyting for da sickest class rep mans knows."

Albert nodded in agreement, skrrrat.

"So, Christmas dinner yea, mandem gon go buy a turkey from da shops innit? Lemme get mans cash, cos mans got bare stax from dem wasteman in London, ya done kno, boom."

"That won't be necessary. I already ordered us Christmas dinner."

"You mans ordered it? What? Which shop fam? Mans don't trust da Japanese to cook a good turkey bruv, mans got an oven and Zyriot, my G, your American, mans trusts you more wid it!"

"Bro, that's lowkey kinda racist."

"Allow it, mans not tryna be racist, swear down! Is like thinking an American donny's gonna make better ramen than da Japanese, is just not possible, rrrrroom!"

"When you put it that way..."

Mans stabbed da hash brown and pointed it at Zyriot's neck, skutnoom!

"Fam, where's da food coming from?! Mans need the sauce, no ketchup! Say it or mans gonna chef you wid dis shank blud!"

"John, chill, I thought you knew! Don't stab me with that!"

Albert got up and restrained me wid his huge arms, bloody wasteman. Zyriot relief sighed innit, but mans still got da hash brown shank in hand to grease him up.

"Mans know what?"

"What Japanese people eat on Christmas Day."

"Mans got no clue, mans only interested in da railway innit, choo choo."

"KFC."

Mans dropped da shank.

"You wot mate?"

"You heard me. They eat KFC for Christmas! Isn't that awesome?!"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!"

Mans turned to Albert and we were both bare gassed fam. Albert grabbed me and tossed into da sky, and when mans bout to fall on da table, Albert catches me and throws me up again, aaaaar blud. Zyriot laughed his arse off at mans reaction to dis.

"Zyriot my guy, you mans shoulda told us sooner! Yo bruv, Japan's actually da best country! Mans can sleep at work, mans can slurp food, mans can eat fried chicken on Christmas! Swear down, mans making my family move here, raaaaaaah! Dis is sick!"

"I had to wake up at 5am for this order. KFC's the most busy during Christmas, so you have to reserve your order in advance."

"Fam, does dis mean you already chose what we eating?! Nah, you shoulda consulted wid us yesterday! Bruv, you scuffed da order! We hafta edit it now, wasteman!"

Mans threw his hands in the air like da disappointed football fans when their team nearly scores a banger goal but da post get in da way and cucks em innit. Big up Tottenham, my G's!

Zyriot mans shrugged like it weren't a problem. Raaaaah, is dis wasteman taking me seriously? Fam, mans was tempted to shank him wid da hash again, but mans was eating it and it tastes peng. Americans man, dey know how to make crazy fried tings bruv. Dey have da facilities.

"I ordered a twelve piece bucket for us to share, hot wings, chicken popcorn, fries, biscuits, gravy, soda, and a fillet burger, just for you John. I'm pretty sure I haven't missed anything out since this is what we usually get."

"Mans, dat's a perfect order, innit Albert! Wait, bruv, did you tell dem to hold da sauce? You know mans bout no ketchup, innit."

"I did. I know KFC doesn't serve their burgers with burger sauce, so I bought some for you from England to put on."

Zyriot mans reached into da fridge and brought out da burger sauce bottle! It wasn't da branded kind, but instead dem slightly off-brand knock-offs dat taste way better. Mans was bout to cry real tears fam, and mans a real man innit, you done kno bruv, sniff sniff.

"Bruv, how?! You mans can't find dat in Japan! How did mans get a bottle uv dis on such short notice?! My G!"

"Here, it's all yours. I ordered it off Amazon UK using a proxy service. Took a couple days, but it got here just in time."

"Bruv... mandem, dis is true friendship... mans sorry for ever doubting you and tryna chef you up fam, dis is da best Christmas present anyone's ever gotten for man..."

Mans had to pull the Members of Society LDN cap down to hide dem tears streaming down mans face bruv. Mans never thought he'd see proper burger sauce again until mans graduated innit, sob sob.

Mans reached out and proper hugged Zyriot for his mad thoughtfulness. Dis guy knew everyting and catered it perfectly, while mans out here disrepecking his hard work, raaaah. Mans a wasteman, bloody hell.

"You mans are safe, swear down."

Mans fist-bumped Zyriot.

"All I want in return is a little more faith in me. You're my friend, so of course I'd consider these sorts of things when it comes to all of us together."

"Bruv, just take mans money, fam, mans don't even have a present prepared, you just take da Ps man, just take it, bap bap."

Mans grabbed mans wallet and gave Zyriot stax of Yen, innit. He tried to refuse, but mans kept pushing da cash into his pocket, so he can cover da expenses and tings.

"Bruv, treat yourself fam, you mans deserve it!"

"No, being with you two is more than enough! I don't need this money John!"

"Mans, you do mad tings for us, dis is mans present to you! Take it bruv!"

"I can't! It's your cash, you earned it!"

"Mans got dis from London wastemen innit! Dey don't need dis P, you mans does!"

"Ah, whatever. One day I'll pay you this back though."

Zyriot finally took da cash, what a lad, brrrrrp.

"Aye, dough mans not lying about da London wastemen innit, half da reason mans came to Japan is to escape getting cheffed up, skrr skrrt. You lot done kno, but mans is on two uv da biggest gangs hit-lists bruv, pew pew!"

"Uh... can I ask how?"

Time to drop mans mad backstory, dey gon be gassed hearing dis, pop pop.

"Mans doesn't even know, mans was just checking out some chicken shops right, tryna find da best chicken fillet sandwich, but mans stepped inside dis shop dat was some cover up for drug dealing innit, and mans saw da draw exchange by accident, twice, wid two different gangs. In certain ends, mans nearly got shanked innit, but mans got da mad pace so mans out ran em innit, but dey kept chasing after me, so mans had to hide mans true identity innit. Bare stress fam, but mans got lucky wid da invite ting, bless up. John ain't even my real name innit, skyat. Is Johnathan if you mans were interested, skap kap."

Zyriot and Albert had mad concerned faces, done kno what dey were worried about, mans can shank anyone wid anyting, dey protecteded innit.

"Aye, mans see you shivering and dat, dun worry, mans got you protecteded innit, like da Gift, shing shing."

"Wait, so you made enemies out of two of the biggest gangs in London because you walked in on their operations by accident? Their security must be poor to let that happen. How old were you?"

"Mans was like thirteen and dat. Mans was mad good at running from da popo too, raaaaah. Since mans was dem gangs enemy, mans stole money from dem when dey done kno. Dem wasteman too stupid to realise, so mans made bare bank and transferred dat over here."

"Your childhood is even more intense than mine..."

"I'm the grandson of an American President and not even my life is that cool."

"Cool bruv? Hell yea fam, big up Albert, you mans thinks is sick innit! Cor, mans could go on ages bout dese times, like when mans fought back wid a banana as a shank, is mad!"

"You can save those stories for when we eat Christmas dinner. I scheduled it for 7pm, so we have plenty time to kill before the big operation."

"Operation? We doing spy tings now?"

"Sort of. We're going undercover."

"Zyriot, what did you get us lot into bruv? We gotta work for our chicken? Raaaah fam, allow it, just let em delivery it to us innit, mopeds go skrrrt."

Da mandem finished our breakfast so we plopped da plates and cutlery in da sink for later innit. Zyriot busted a whiteboard out and started explaining da ting, bam.

"I want us to have the best KFC experience for Christmas, so I've devised a plan to secure us the freshest colonel's fried chicken we'll find in all over Japan. KFC is most busy during Christmas time, which means they need to make a lot of food in advance. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to risk having lukewarm, prepared hours ago chicken for dinner. As John would put it, it's dead."

"Is dead fam, chicken dey keep on da warmer is trash bruv!"

"Exactly. However, with how I've set up things, this won't happen. While we miss out on delivery, and have to visit the branch in person, we'll be able to guarantee the best, freshest, and crispiest Christmas dinner imaginable for us three. And it starts with you, Albert."

Zyriot pointed da pen at Albert, who looked mad shook bruv.

"Me?"

"Yes. See, when I called the KFC branch, I didn't speak in Japanese. I spoke in English, in order to get the manager on the line. After all, in a city like Tokyo, where different nationalities congregate, it's necessary for high ranking employees of a company to know multiple languages in order to cater to those varied clients. Once I secured the manager, I explained to him that I was a translator working for former American President Obama's grandson, which is you, Albert, and that, due to flights being cancelled, Albert would like to try the Japanese tradition of having KFC on Christmas Day."

Bruv, Zyriot's pulling da Taka strats, oh my days, bruv mans getting bare gassed listening to dis!

"The manager was shocked by it, obviously, and wanted proof that I was with Obama's grandson. So, in order to prove that, me and the manager set up a little deal. I agreed with him, pretending that Albert's "personal manager" gave me consent, that KFC would be allowed to run an ad campaign using Albert as the star, which required him coming to the store early in the morning to start filming. If we did show up, with Obama's grandson, then we could get our Christmas dinner free of charge."

Bruv, dis is mental. Like, actually, properly, jokingly, mental. What the bloody hell Zyriot? Mans needs a cuppa right now, dis is too much for me, skap skap!

"And this is how we get the best Christmas dinner. Since Albert's present, of course they'd want to impress the grandson of one of the legendary American Presidents. Imagine the amazing press it'd give KFC Japan if Albert rated their food highly! There's no way they'd miss out on a chance like that! So, I popped in the order for tonight at 7pm, and we've got a whole day of shooting ahead of us, starting at 10am sharp."

Albert looked mad shook fam, mans was making him a cuppa too, mans probably pissing himself over what Zyriot did, raaaah.

"Fair play homie, you used my status for a good cause."

"Bruv, are you mans not stressed over dis?! Dis is mad, filming commercials fo fried chicken, dat's da same as sucking a donny off fo some candy!"

Mans handed Albert da cuppa and he sipped on it wid da approval face innit.

"This isn't my first time in the public eye, and it won't be my last. I'll make sure to be properly compensated for it, since I know the ins and outs of this type of business. After all, who do you think I learnt all my knowledge from?"

Albert tied back his dreads and put on his sunglasses, he mans looks hard ya kno, skrrrah.

"My grandfather."

Mans was chugging tea to stop da shivering, mans too shook right now, mans not protecteded yea, mans too hyped fo da chicken now, allow it.

"Thanks for going along with it."

"Anything for the homies."

"John, can you be Albert's manager?"

"His manager? Bruv, if dat means mans gets to wear gold chains and pull up wid bare jewellery than allow it blud, mans needs dat manager role, ya done kno!"

"That's fine, we can get you anything you need for your disguise. I got backing from Mikazuchi-sensei to make us look more legit. We're pulling up in a limousine."

Mans dropped da cup outta shock, Zyriot got bare connections fam, mans kinda scared now, mans gon back off from Zyriot innit, dis mans could probably chef me and mans wouldn't even realise it bruv, raaaaaaah.

"John, are you okay? You zoned out."

Zyriot was checking on me, bless da guy, and cleaning up da broken cup from da floor.

"Fam, mans good, you mans just surprised me, innit. Bruv, lemme clean dat, dat's my mess, you mans focus on being Albert's translator and dat, prr prr."

Da doorbell rang so Albert went to get it. Mans cleaned up da cup while Mikazuchi-sensei rocked up in our ends, carrying some madness tings.

"Mikazuchi-sensei, thanks for helping us out."

"Wagwan G! Sensei, wass your role?"

"No problem, as long as I get my share of the chicken, I'm willing to do anything to help out. I'm acting as the representative of Obama-kun's Japanese sponsor, Mikazuchi & Co.!"

"You mans excited about KFC too? Mans rate dat, best sensei innit."

"KFC on Christmas is objectively the best. However, not even my money can secure the perfect chicken. Zyriot-san's plan sounds crazy, but I have faith it'll work."

Dat's mental, Mikazuchi-sensei's like, loaded bruv, and not even his Ps can buy good chicken on Christmas Day? Yuh, dis system's scuffed, where's da capitalism, was dose socialist donnies rite blud? What's da timeline mans living in, cos dis is a glitch in da matrix, swear down.

"Plus... I need to impress my guest this Christmas. He's from England, land of the chicken burgers, so this fried chicken needs to smack in order to seal his approval."

"Bruv, wass his contact? Mans needs some mo English mandem fam, Taka alone ain't gon cut it, ya done kno, brrr."

"He's Callum Sykes, a therapist working in Essex. Here's his number for you."

"Bruv, dis guy's an Essex donny? Nah fam, allow it, mans ain't talking to dem wasteman, skidipipap."

"He's born in London, John-san."

"Mans takes back what mans said, us two can bare roast Essex now, is hard banter innit."

Mans punched in da wasteman Callum's number fo later. Right now dough, mans focused on getting dat drip to be Albert's sick manager innit.

Mans obviously got da puffer jacket, shout out The North Face, safe my G, mans got da hoodie underneath, mans got da cap wid da Members of Society LDN represent on it, mans got da joggers, mans got da Airs too innit, shout out Nike, skidikipapap!

Mans had to top it wid gold chains and da fake gold tooth at da front, proper kingpin look bruv. Mans was getting bare gassed looking at mansself in da mirror, mans looking like a proper roadman, ch-chk! Mans got da pumpy too, dis is gon be smokes.

No one messes wid Albert, or dey get shanked up bruv! Wastemans gon be shook when dey see man on da street wid da mad swagger, mans gonna go hard wid da aggression, protecteded da mandem wid da skills dat mans only has.

Of course, mans has to carry da spray in mans pocket too, cos Lynx Effect, miss mans wid dat perspiration ting innit. Use roll up or spray, shhhhh.

Mans proper sprayed so mans can smell fresh. Babes exist in KFC too, if dey look peng, mans need to be on his best, strike poses and everyting bruv. Dodge da babes if she's an uckers, ya done kno.

Albert came out in bare drip, mans face was shaved and he was in da suit ting, skrrrp. Zyriot mans dressed casual like da poor payed translators innit, wid da Christmas jumper and parka on top bruv, not a bad choice, prrrt.

"John, me and you need to conceal our identities, so we need to come up with fake names."

"Since mans da manager, just call me Bossman innit. No need to call me a name bruv, Bossman'll buss it down. Dem lot'll get mans da manager if you mans act under me, skapap."

"Alright, Bossman. I'll just use my middle name, Lee."

"Your mans full name's Zyriot Lee Feirbuster? Allow it bruv."

"That surprise you, Bossman?"

"Nah bruv, dat's sick innit. Lee, dat sounds more normal dan Zyriot, ya dun kno."

"My parents made up the name Zyriot. I've got ethnicity from all over the world, so they wanted a name to reflect that heritage."

"Mans full English wid some Nigerian blood innit, bless my grandad, what about you mans?"

"I'm mostly American, with German, South African, Singaporean, Mexican, and Arabian roots."

"Yo, fam, we're all part African here! Big up da mandem, c'mere my African bruddas!"

Albert was Kenyan innit. Bruv, dis means all da mandem could all say da N word, skrrrrat!

"I mean, I'm a white South African, which is more closer to being Dutch than African."

"Allow it, is got African in da name, is da same ting."

Da mandem shared da hype group hug innit, no homo, brrp brrp. Mans boosting each other so we can do da ting wid full confidence, skyat!

"Alright, let's roll out!"

Da mandem hopped in Mikazuchi-sensei's limo ting and we skrrt skrrt to KFC, where dere was some mad camera crew hanging round bare shady bruv. Is looks dangerous, so mans stepped out first, cap down and hood up, brrap brrap.

"John, take these."

"Yo, safe one my G."

Zyriot gave me fresh sunglasses, which mans popped on no problem. Albert followed me close behind, wid Zyriot at the back. Mikazuchi-sensei also stepped out innit, cos he was sponsoring us, bap.

"Welcome to Tokyo's KFC! We've been waiting for you, Mr Albert Obama!"

Da manager bowed deeply as mans greeted us. Mans calmly had mans hands over mans crotch, shrugging mans shoulder to intimidate da donny a little. Da manager held out his hand for da shake, and mans nodded.

"Wagwan blud, mans name's Boss Bossman innit. Mans Albert's manager, ya dun kno, pop pop."

Mans could hear Zyriot facepalm, allow it.

"Uh... yes, Mr Bossman. Please, this way."

Da manager was actually pooping bricks, mans is disappointing. Mans had to hit him wid da firm shake to make him confident innit, proper English grip to wake dis wasteman up.

Manager let me enter da store and mans could smell da fried chicken in da air. Fam, dis is my natural habitat, mans could sleep on da fryer at night, it'd be peng bruv. Da sound uv sizzling chicken was like dat ASMR ting to mans, bare irl sound fx, like krak krak krak innit.

"Dis place is bare empty dough, was dis?"

Some poor mans was mopping da floor and bussing down da tables, Audi. Den mans got a closer look and mans was bare confused. Mans had to take off da glasses to check if mans wasn't seeing tings.

Mans also breathed on da lenses to clean em, but when mans put em back on, mans got bare foggy vision, so mans put away da glasses in da pockets innit, cos man can never be embarrassed, ya get me bruv.

Mans point da pumpy gun finger at da mans and pulls da trigger. Mans looks back at me and breaks into a smile.

"John-san? What are you doing here, this location's closed for filming. There's another KFC in a five mile radius you can dine in."

Dis doughnut was Matsushita Isogai. Wass dis mans working at da KFC for? His drip had stains innit. Bruv, did mans miss dis arc of da anime, cos wass dis all bout den? Mans can't lose mans cover to him, so mans had to save dis quick.

"Are you dizzy fam? Mans name ain't John, is Bossman innit. If you mans don't call me Bossman, you mans getting cheffed up bruv, no lie."

Mans pulled out da closest ting in mans pocket, which was da sunglasses, and mans pointed it at da wasteman, shrrrrp!

"A-alright, Bossman?"

"Mans on here fo business, ya get me? Mans da manager of Albert Obama, skrrp skrrp."

"Obama-kun's here now?! Oh man, I better hurry up!"

Matsushita was on da speed ting, calling mans for a draw, dis mans was moving bare fast to clean da store.

"Aye, you mans, what you working at KFC fo bruv? Today's Christmas bruv, you mans should be wid da family, papap."

"Oh, I work part time jobs during the holidays to help out my family since we're poor. Most stores need the extra help since it's really busy this time of year, and it just so happened KFC was the first to hire me. Don't worry, I'll quit before we return to school."

"Mans gets it, mans lived in da poverty ends too, brap. Got bare druggies in dose ends, sniff sniff."

"Yeah, it's hard for my mom to support my three younger siblings by herself. I was planning to go into the workforce after I finished middle school to help her out, but then I got an invite to GEN, which my mom encouraged me to go to. I was reluctant at first, but now I'm glad I went."

"You mans planning on stealing da chicken after?"

"Eh? Of course not! Employees get a discount, which I'll use so I can buy them Christmas dinner."

"Aye, dat's smart tho. Mans rate dat."

"Thanks. Is Obama-kun not coming in?"

"Mans filming someting outside right now, rucka rucka."

"Oh, I see. Ah, I'll see you in a bit John- I mean, Bossman! I've got more work to do!"

"You mans best believe it, bop bop."

Matsushita hurried back to help dem fry da chicken. Mans took a seat and started picking mans nose. Mans got a little snot, but overall is clean, brrrp.

Mans was bare bored as Albert and Zyriot filmed da ting outside. Albert went inside sometimes fo da ladies to do his makeup and appearance which mans didn't understand cos Albert's looking bare perfect bruv.

Some employees were bare nice and gave mans a strawberry Krushers milkshake and some chicken tenders, fo free, to saver mans hunger, which mans appreciateded, brr brr. Mans had to dip da tenders in a spicy sauce, mans appreciated dat jerk flavour innit.

Some film wastemans came to mans since mans was da manager and mans had to sign da ting on behalf of Albert innit cos he's like a minor or someting, while mans was a proper adult, wrrrrsh. Mans had to fake it innit, or else dis mans in some deep legal trouble.

Mans killed time by watching sports on da Sky TV app. Mans don't have a TV licence, but mans was faking it innit. Using data's dead fam, mans ran out faster dan my dad, and da shoot still ain't over. Mans called for Matsushita who was bringing da chicken to the set, taptap.

"Yo, mans need da chicken shop password fo da WiFi ting, be a G and grab it fo me would ya?"

"It's chicken, but replace the I with a 1 and the E with a 3. All lowercase too."

"Safe my guy."

Mans plugged in da code and mans got access, raaaaah. Dough mans knows public WiFi is bare shady wid da hackers and dat and mans can't let dem snoop in mans personal tings or else dey find out bout mans ultimate chicken recipe which mans can't leak to nobody, no lie.

Not even my own mummy knows bout dis, and she makes da best fried chicken innit. Mums always do it rite, ya done kno!

So mans uses a VPN to buss it down and protecteded mans data from being stolen by dem Internet hackers, pop pop. Mans from da U.K. so mans obviously gon use da U.K. server innit so mans can watch Sky Sports and see my guys, Spurs, bap da rest uv da teams like 9-0 innit.

Mans can't afford da premium VPN, so mans uses the free VPN, da standard ting, like in Vanguard innit. Da only train mans'll ride is Dailiner, skrrrrt.

Anyways, da ting got wrapped up and da KFC manager personally made us some chicken in front uv us to take home. We hopped back in Mikazuchi-sensei's limo and dealt out da food tings like ssssrrrap!

"Finally... I have it in my hands... the golden KFC!"

Mikazuchi-sensei was hugging da bag like it was his babes, mans was acting bare weird. Albert picked on some uv da chips, but mans deserves it cos he carried us for dis food, spapap.

"Bruv, hurry up on da gas, dis chicken gon get cold if mans don't skrrrrt it home, Audi."

"Good point, I'll have to flex about this on Yza later."

Mikazuchi-sensei put away his phone and drove da ting, breaking all speed limits like whooooooosh. Mans clinging to da seatbelt wid adrenaline ting in mans veins. Dis was sick!

We arrived back at da apartment ting, and while me and Albert brought da goods home, Zyriot thanked Mikazuchi-sensei innit. Da mandem sat down round da table and shared da KFC out like skratatatatatata. Bucket, hot wings, popcorn, chips, and gravy to share, biscuits fo Zyriot, fillet burger fo me, and Pepsi for da mandem.

"Well, we sure had an adventure to get here."

Zyriot grabbed some plates, but mans refused, cos mans only eats on da burger wrapper innit. Eco- how does mans say it? Eco- economi- economicoco- economicococal, yeah yeah, aight. Mans was being economicococal, ya done kno. Less tings to clean after, scrub.

"That's understatement. I can't believe they managed to get so much content out of me eating chicken."

"The most annoying part was pretending having to translate even though you knew what they were saying."

Zyriot and Albert laughed over what happened as dey poured out da drinks. Mans was popping open da chicken packaging innit.

"Mans watched football all day, is calm."

"Being the manager was probably the best role to get. Even Mikazuchi-sensei got involved... they got him to dress up as Santa, can you believe that?"

Mans saw dat, filmed it, and put it on mans story innit. Is bare jokes fam, Mikazuchi-sensei as Santa was peak bruv. When we come back to school, mans spreading it round bruv like a STI innit.

"Nah bruv, dey kept asking me to sign da ting, Aubameyang. Mans got bare sweaty every time cos mans was scared to be exposed, rah rap. Had to use spray innit, Lynx effect."

"Do you think we'll get into trouble if we're found out?"

"Worst case yea, we escape back to our home countries innit. Mans'll head back to da South ends, bam."

Mans pulled da gun fingers out, pointing em at da fridge cos it looked at me a little weird innit.

"I can pay for the plane tickets if we need to run. Check out this cheque for my bank account."

Albert showed me a madness ting signed by da CEO of KFC, raaaaaaah bruv!

"Bruv, ten million yen fo dat shoot? What?! Dis is jokes! You made bare Ps fam, mans actually jealous!"

Mans set for life wid dat money, mans could buy an expensive house in Tokyo wid dat and settle down wid a nice babe.

"I'll probably donate it all to charity. The money will be useless once we return to GEN."

"Nah bruv, we invest it back in da chicken game, mans can get more KFC wid dis stax!"

"Can we even eat that much?"

"If there's a hole, there's a way."

Zyriot snickered. Albert nodded sagely. Mans has da best advice, brrrrrrrap!

"Anyways, let's dig in. I'm starving."

Zyriot reached in for da bucket, grabbing his favourite thighs innit.

"Itadakimasu, as they'd say."

Albert grabbed da drumstick from da bucket, mad respeck for dat.

"Bruv, dey better not put any sauce on dis ting, if mans see mayo, mans gon pop on a pussyhole bruv. Mayonnaise ain't fo eating, is for making music!"

Mayonnaise is an instrument and if you mans disagree wid me you mans better sleep on your back tonight cos mans gon shank you up da arse blud, swear down. You mans laughing now but you mans won't be when you wake up wid da plastic spoon up your bum innit, wasteman.

"Safe bruv, dey held da sauce, skrrt."

Mans popped open da burger sauce bottle and squeezed da good kush on mans chicken and chips. Dis is better dan smoking trees, trust bruv.

"This year's Christmas has definitely been weird. Aside from not being able to see our families, we've also somehow gotten away with filming commercials for KFC and doing interviews with the press. However, that's besides the point, because right now, in this moment, I have the best fast food I've ever had in front of me along with two of my best friends sitting by my side as I eat. I'm truly blessed to be here today, and I'm really grateful that I met you two in this cutthroat school. In the future, I hope we'll be even more prosperous as we continue to rise the ranks towards A Class. To 2049! Merry Christmas, John, Albert! Cheers!"

Zyriot gave da big speech and toasted da drinks wid mans and Albert.

"Merry Christmas homie."

"Merry Christmas bruv!"

Mans looked at da luscious fillet burger in front of mans, dripping wid authentic burger sauce and da moist lettuce leaves hanging out round da soft buns which held da peng looking crispy chicken fillet. Is practically begging mans to eat da ting!

Mans lips were watering, sha sha. Mans put da burger to mans mouth and took a huge bite out da ting innit, chomp chomp.

Bruv.

Dis was PENG.

Is so good, it made da ting go skrrrah!

Merry Christmas!