There's a memory from middle school that always haunts me.

Back then, I was the same as him.

Everyday, at the library during lunch time...

...he would be sitting there, reading a book.

A blonde haired boy with baby blue eyes.

Eyes that looked as empty and hollow as mine.

I think that was the reason I was drawn towards him.

Towards the person who would become irreplaceable in my heart.

Takanori Yuuto.

Yuu-kun.

Yuu.

Both of us were loners who were emotionless and liked reading.

That's what made my days spending time with him so comfortable.

Words didn't have to be said.

Just having each other's presence was enough.

And if we felt like it, sometimes we'd speak.

Whether it would be as silly as sharing books with each other.

Or whether it would be as mundane as doing homework together.

The conversations we had always made me feel...

...happy.

I really loved those days.

But... at the start of my 3rd Year of middle school, somehow I lost it all.

There's a memory from middle school that always haunts me.

It was the turning point between mine and Yuu's relationship.

I don't know what changed.

But suddenly, I wasn't alone anymore.

I met people like Taiga and Natsumi.

They pulled me away from him.

Everyone drew me away from him.

The class forced me to stay away from him.

I couldn't do anything.

The mood was too suffocating to go against.

And then, one day—

"Let's go, Yukina."

Aoyagi put his hand around my waist, pushing me away.

"Wait, but I..."

I tried turning around, but his hand blocked me from moving.

"Is something wrong?"

A lump formed in my throat.

My eyes were wide and burning.

I felt that, at any second, tears would spill.

"Yuu-kun..."

I reached my hand out.

But he was too far away.

Yuu was on all fours.

The lunch that his mom packed for him was scattered in front of his face.

And inside that bento box, mixed with the rice, were cockroaches.

"If you're worried about him, don't be. He enjoys it."

Yuu shovelled it into his mouth.

"If he didn't, he wouldn't be doing this right now, would he?"

He gagged.

He choked.

He spluttered.

He was forced to swallow it.

"Oh, but I understand your concern. You used to be his friend after all."

They laughed and ridiculed him.

They took photos and videos of him degrading himself.

They were hurting Yuu...

"That's why we're going. So you don't have to watch."

But I couldn't turn my eyes away.

"I don't want you to get hurt after all. Let's go."

Aoyagi pushed my waist again before whispering in my ear.

"It's for his own good."

I involuntarily swallowed the lump in my throat.

My hands curled up.

My legs were shaking.

My breaths wouldn't come out properly.

...I was terrified.

I obediently— I shamefully turned my head away.

The last thing I saw was Yuu looking up at me.

His baby blue eyes were more empty than usual.

He picked up an octo-sausage from the floor and ate it.

...it was always his most favourite part of the bento that his mom made for him.

My heart couldn't take it.

I wanted to cry, but standing next to Aoyagi, I was scared to even do that much.

After that day, it felt like something had definitely changed.

Even if Yuu didn't say anything, I could tell from the air that surrounded him.

He felt betrayed.

...that was the memory from middle school that always haunts me.

If I was more brave...

If I was less of a coward...

If I was more honest with my feelings...

Those thoughts lingered in my head afterwards.

...I wish that I could've shared Yuu's pain back then.

Because it should've been both me and him getting hurt.

We were loners who were emotionless and liked reading.

So why did only Yuu get targeted?

Why didn't they put me through that same cruelty?

As I spent my days, pretending to fit in with the other riajuu...

I would occasionally look back at Yuu's face.

Sometimes, it was during class.

Sometimes, it was during lunch.

Sometimes, it was during after school.

But if there was one thing in common...

...it would be he wouldn't even look in my direction anymore.

I don't blame him for it.

I graduated my 3rd Year of middle school uneventfully.

I can barely remember the faces of the people I spent that year with.

All I could remember was Yuu's face as he was subjected to daily torment from the others in our class.

On that last day, I went up to him.

"Yuu-kun..."

When I called out his name, he looked at me over his shoulder.

"...Yukina-san."

I hugged him with all the might and warmth I could muster.

He hugged back, but it was half earnest, and his body was ice cold.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

I apologised again and again.

At one point, I didn't even know what I was saying sorry for.

I just wanted to mend our friendship, even if it was too late...

"...it's okay."

It was a small phrase, and I don't think he even meant it...

...but hearing that much come from him was enough to calm my anxious heart, just a little.

It was selfish of me, I know.

But I was desperate back then.

To have some form of validation.

That Yuu was okay.

That I was still his friend.

"If you're free... let's hang out over the spring break!"

I tried saying that as cheerfully as possible, but Yuu didn't respond.

He let go of my body.

His misty eyes averted my gaze.

"Sorry, but... it's a bit... you know..."

Then, he walked away.

I thought that was going to be the last time I ever saw him in person.

After all, for high school, I was going to GEN Academy, the academy city on water.

There, we would be isolated from the real world except during holidays.

That would be my only chance to get to see him... if he would even agree to come out of his way to meet me, that is.

As much as I didn't want to, I steeled my heart in preparation of saying goodbye to him for good.

I never wanted to repeat what happened on that final day of middle school.

I was going to take everything I learnt there, including all my failures, and make sure I wouldn't repeat those same mistakes in high school...

...but fate has a funny way of working.

On the docks of that morning...

...Yuu was there.

I was scared of talking to him at first, fearful of how he'd react if he saw me again...

But after seeing the colour of his tie, I realised our meeting was inevitable.

Just like me, he was put into Drachma Red.

We were going to be in the same class.

Even if I wanted to avoid him, I couldn't.

It would be impossible.

That's why...

...I threw away my fears, having nothing else to lose.

When I called out his name, my heart pounded.

I didn't want to hurt him again.

I didn't want to see those same empty eyes.

I didn't want to mess up this last chance that I'd been gifted.

When he turned around—

"Yukina-san?"

—he said my name.

Just hearing that was enough to ease my shaking heart, if only a little.

We talked and joked with each other like we were best friends again.

Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It was pure bliss.

However, something was nagging at me under the surface.

Even though I enjoyed spending time with him and having this conversation just like how it used to be between us...

It didn't feel right.

The cloudy look in his hollow eyes that he carried around with him during middle school had cleared up, revealing two sapphire pearls of baby blue.

It felt like the window to his heart was now crystal clear.

Yet despite that, I felt the furthest I'd ever been away from that heart.

Yuuto had changed since spring break.

He looked more alive than ever before.

And I should've been so happy for him because of it.

And so grateful that he could live properly again after being viciously bullied by everyone in our class...

...but in my heart, I was scared.

The fear I thought I had freed myself from had once again entangled me.

It bound itself around my neck, my wrists, and my ankles.

These vines of darkness.

Why?

I thought this to myself again and again over the course of that first month.

Why?

I tried speaking to him as I usually did, but this discomfort never erased itself from my heart.

Why?

I felt those vines grip tighter around me.

Why?

Until eventually, my entire being was suspended in midair.

Why...?

A mental prison.

I couldn't move.

I was desperate.

I didn't want to lose whatever I had left with him.

I didn't want to drift further away from him without knowing it.

I didn't want my happy memories with Yuu to be tainted and overwritten with this suffocating feeling.

So, once more...

...I ended up keeping my distance.

The same mistake in middle school.

Fate had finally reared it's ugly head.

Without realising it, I was set to go down a spiral that would repeat the last year of my life again.

I'm going to lose Yuu again.

It's my fault.

It's my fault that I'm feeling this way.

It's not Yuu's fault.

Yuu is changing himself for the better.

Why couldn't I do that?

The vines pulled me up deeper into the ceiling of emptiness.

I should change myself for the better too, I thought.

Yes, that was the only solution.

My only option.

Around that time, I received a mysterious letter to my room from an unknown sender.

I opened this anonymous mail and read what was inside.

After I was done, I cried a little.

Their words perfectly expressed my feelings in a way that was impossible for me to do myself.

I don't know how they knew, but the weight on my heart felt much lighter afterwards.

I wasn't alone.

Someone understood my pain.

I knew I had to go meet them as soon as possible.

That was when I was introduced to a certain upperclassman from 3rd Year E Class.

Itteki Shin.

He was the one who sent me that letter.

"I want to change myself."

When I told him that, Itteki chuckled.

He nodded, threw a thumbs up, and winked at me.

"You got it. Let's work towards improving yourself, Yukinacchi!"

And so, for the past three months, I've slowly been changing myself.

And it was all for this moment.

Right now, Yuu was standing in front of me.

A moment that's been close to forty months in the making.

The beautiful golden sunset shone over his gentle face.

I've waited so long for this...

My heart was pounding.

Everything was finally coming to a head this summer vacation.

I reached out to Yuu—

Because if I don't act now...

—I grabbed him.

...I'm afraid of what's going to happen to between me and Yuu.