It was a peaceful and quiet tuesday evening.

Very peaceful and quiet indeed.

Maybe too much.

Too peaceful and quiet for a world where problems better solved through dialogue are solved through the usage of children's cardboard cuttouts.

Izuru and Ibuki had already finished eating their dinner, a pair of delicious tonkatsu pork bentos gotten from the supermarket because the two got home too late to make proper dinner, and were now enjoying their time.

Ibuki was still seating at the table, enjoying some after dinner tea, and Izuru was washing the dishes like the house slave he is.

Things were peaceful and quiet.

Ibuki sighed in the bliss of the peace and silence.

"Life is really wonderful sometimes, isn't it?"

And Izuru sighed in bliss of the peace and silence too.

"Indeed..."

"Ah..."

The two sighed in bliss of the peace and silence.

And then a loud engine made some revving sounds outside and the two housemates rushed out of their apartment, Ibuki holding her bat and Izuru a soup laddle, both ready to go to jail for the night if it meant keeping the peace and quietness.

"SQUARE UP, YA CUNT FUCK!" Izuru yelled, with his Asakusa blood already doing the whole burning hot thingy it does.

"I WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENCE AND NOW'S THE BEST TIME TO EXECUTE SAID VIOLENCE, YOU GODDAMN DUMBASS DUMBSICKEN DUMBASS!" Ibuki exclaimed, flexing her vocabulary skills to a degree that'd make the great Kiyokiyo Kiyokiyo roll in his grave. Chill, girl.

"YA BETTER GIVE A GOOD REASON TO WHY YA MAKING THIS MUCH NOISE AT THIS HOUR OR SO HELP ME GOD, DARK CROW'S GONNA START PLAYING AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE A BIG BLACK DRAGON IS USING HIS SWORD!"

Wow, that's meta.

"I come in peace, I come in peace!"

The loud engine didn't come from a motorcycle you could use to play card games, sadly, but instead from a big white jeep that had Risei as its driver. With his arms in air to show he meant no harm, as much as 'no harm' for an Enomoto might mean, Risei stepped out of the vehicle.

"I FINISHED MY SHIFT HOURS AGO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"Yeah! I was having a good time drinking tea and thinking how I can afford cards unlike this guy, what gives?!"

"IBUKI!"

"SHUT UP, YOU KNOW IT'S FUNNY, YOU JUST DON'T LAUGH BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WITHOUT CARDS!"

"Basically, I came here to pick someone up." Risei said.

Ibuki and Izuru glanced at each other, and then got back into being terrible neighbours to whoever could hear them.

"AH?! SCREW OFF, YOU SHADY PRIEST-LOOKING CUCK!" Ibuki screeched.

"I have council work tomorrow so I don't mind throwing hands if it means getting riggity riggity wrecked and not go to school tomorrow!" Izuru declared.

"Shut up, Aimi-chan will still give you work, even if you're in an hospital bed." Risei called out.

"That's besides the point!"

And the sad reality. Stopping the tiny whisk guy wasn't enough to slow down on the council work. It never is...

"I don't mean you buffoons with bad haircuts, I mean that buffoon with a bad haircut."

Risei pointed back, at the incoming source of another roaring engine.

It was a man in a suit, riding on a fully black Yamaha V-Max bike that could leave half the gangs in Japan feeling sorry for not owning a sexy bike like that. Too bad the rider was a lame a headmaster that wore a yellow helmet.

"So cool...!" Izuru and Ibuki muttered.

Endo stopped in front of the three and took his helmet off, shattering Izuru and Ibuki's imagination faster than Nobuhiko shattered the club budget.

"Good evening." Endo greeted.

"...oh, this is disgusting." Ibuki stuck her tongue out.

"It's so out of character, it's like I'm being forced to rewatch that awful Heaven's Feel trilogy..." Izuru covered his mouth to not puke. "A-anyway... What do you want this late at night, Endo? My next shift of being the NTR tag of your life doesn't start until tomorrow."

"I'd appreciate if you stopped saying that before it becomes more true than what it already is..." Endo sighed. "I guess some context would be useful, so let's start with that. As you know, I never used much of the money I made off Heiwa for myself. Besides paying bills and buying what I needed for live, I saved it all for Minami's future."

"What about cards?" Ibuki asked.

"Those fall on what I needed to live, we're living in 2052 for christ's sake."

"Fair enough, please continue."

"However, I did happen to make a personal purchase one day, and that was of this very motorcycle. Since I thought there wasn't any problems with it, I told Minami about it. She got concerned for my safety, since I'm not in my prime days anymore, and urged me to either sell it or give it someone, so that is why I'm here tonight."

"I see... So she called you lame for being an old man riding a bike?" Izuru asked.

"I'm still in my 50s, it's not lame..." Endo grit his teeth and tossed the keys to Izuru. "But, yeah, so now I'm making this bike your problem."

"Wait, are you for real? You're giving me a bike after I almost nailed your ex-wife?" The black haired asked, looking at the keys.

"I should be running you over with it, but I hear prison isn't that great at this time of the year." Endo deadpanned. "Either way, now living in Ikebukuro won't be an excuse for you to dodge your council tasks. You can ride Ibuki-san to the station and then get your ass to Heiwa just in time to suffer from club budget paperwork."

"Holy shit, you got a bike for free! Wait, you did what?!" Ibuki asked.

"It's a long story involving Asakusa and my Aimiphobia, I'm taking this baby for a ride!"

As Izuru put on the helmet and got on his brand new sweet ride, Risei made an actually relevant question.

"Can you even ride of those?"

"Well, duh. Me and boys got our licenses during summer. You know, during the easy times before student council crap, tiny whisks gone missing and Ban and Yumi thinking they can fool anyone." Izuru shrugged. "Besides, I rode one of these bad boys back during my third year at middle school."

"Wait, you what-"

But before Endo could finish his question, Izuru revved up the engine and rode off into the night. He was about to kick his life into hyperdrive.

"I thought only delinquents rode bikes that early." Risei hummed.

"You say that like he didn't have the lack of brain cells of one." Ibuki replied.

"Reirei, am I going to regret this life choice?" Endo asked.

"Maki-chan, when it comes to giving dumbasses who get their heads too high in the sky when given cool things, there's only one answer..." Rise placed his hand his hand on Endo's shoulder. "Without a doubt."

"Goddammit..."

And the actual answer to Endo's question came...

The very next morning.

The day at Heiwa started as it always started.

Endo was in his office, minding his own business as he looked over some paperwork, this time not regarding club budget because that was Aimi's problems, and with Airi bringing some tea for the two of them, because both were already sick of seeing paper sheets.

And why was it Aimi's problem? Because just as she and Minami were about to step into the school building, they got intercepted by the captain of the baseball, the one and only Taihou-chan, who gets to have a named characater. You go, Taihou-chan.

But their demise came in the form of three roaring engines making their way past the school gate, because respecting private property was a thing of the past.

"No way...!" Minami muttered, shocked.

"I want to take back the last twelve hours of my life..." Endo grumbled.

Aimi didn't say anything.

But what got those three, and everyone who happened to be there to witness that, so shocked?

Well, on one side you had Ban, riding a sweet, dark green, Sunbeam motorcycle that had a sidecar attached to it, since he bought it because of Yumi, who happened to be into bikes more than he was.

On the other, you had Tate, riding a pimped out Bosozoku bike, a.k.a the modified bikes delinquents tend to ride, that was painted in white, blue and red, because he probably embraced the jokes that came along with his heritage.

And between the two, almost as if guiding these two dumbasses, was Izuru, riding the very bike Endo gave him.

To make things worse, the three of them were all wearing sunglasses in the middle of October, because that makes total sense, doesn't it.

The three stopped in front of the main building, and Izuru took off the yellow helmet that came with the bike.

"What a beautiful day... It's about time we kick this into Heiwa drive!" Izuru exclaimec, clenching his fist. "They call me the Headless Rider of Ikebukuro, because I got no one giving me-!"

But that sad idiot got his face bashed in by the sickest homerun anyone in Heiwa had ever seen, coming from Aimi using the baseball and bat she snatched from Taihou-chan.

"H-holy shit, she's feeling the flow...!!!" Taihou-chan yelped. Holy crap, he even got a line!

"The Overworked Blue Ogre is up..." Ban muttered.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Tate yelled.

Needless to say, the three of them get their asses kicked before classes even began.

Wonderful, so the second cour starts with a cold open.

This narrator gig doesn't pay enough for this crap...