Obsession

Summary: "You are scaring me Veer."
"Good."

◇◇◇

Randheer follows them to Shrighar under the pretext of monitoring estate accounts with Rani Ma's instructions.

He follows her thoughts like a constant weight and beside her Veer is tightly wound in fury.

Amrit fears for them both, for she would rather have neither's blood on other's hand.

But Veer is being driven to a inferno gradually, patience has never been one of his virtues and he had promised her in no uncertain terms that there will be consequences for not distancing herself from Randheer.

Now the entire ride to Shrighar is one tense encounter. Randheer sitting in the passenger seat tries to hold her eye, while Amrit feels the heat that radiates from Veer who is sitting beside her. Her fists are clenched, nails digging into flesh of her palms. Amrit wishes for godspeed.

"Sleep," Veer tells her abruptly. When she turns and meets his eye, he raises a brow over his flask.

Oh, he is drinking again.

Amrit adds one more fear to her list of possible worst case scenarios. Veer wipes his mouth and looks at her properly.

"You look like you are having a spell of motion sickness. Sleep it off Biwi sahab, I shall wake you up when we get there."

Amrit leans her head back on the headrest and looks sideways at him. The tone she uses, holds her words between them.

"Aap vaade se mukhar rahe hai, Kuwar sahab." She gives a pointed look at the flask. Veer takes one more deep swig pointedly and brings his head closer.

"Vaada nahi sauda Hua tha, biwi sahab. Aur na aap apni mohabbat se door gayi na hum apni Aadat se."

Amrit's heart skips a beat. Had he seen Randheer corner her after breakfast? Was it distrust that she saw in his eyes? Has she proved nothing, all this time they were together?

She watches him with such hurtful eyes that Veer draws a tortured breath through his teeth.

What did she want? She didn't go any further no matter how he pushed, nor would she allow him to come closer.

The torment of this dancing around each other was driving him mad. To top it off, his mother insisted on dangling that stinking fish of a secretary on his neck as well.

"So jaaiye," he says, trying to soften his tone. He doesn't wish to hurt her, but the thorns of his own conscience prick them both. "Hum naraz nahi hai aap se. So jaiye."

He raises the flask for another sip of bitterness to burn off the sour taste in his mouth. Amrit reaches out and holds it down. For that moment, she doesn't care if Randheer is watching them in the rearview mirror.

"Aap ko meri kasam."

Veer sighs dramatically, and clenches his fist. But he puts away the flask.

"You will be the death of me one day." He says darkly. "So jaao. I'm not going to drink anymore."

He watches her as she settles and closes her eyes. Veer strokes her hair absentmindedly and catches Randheer's eye in the mirror.

Randheer looks away. Veer grits his teeth, wishing - above all else to bottom out his flask. But she has made him swear upon her.

Oh curse her, why does she care!

The road turns bumpy and Amrit unconsciously slides closer, her head falls against his shoulder, soft curls spilling across his arm.

Veer stays still, unmoving, stumping down the urge to wrap an arm around her and pull her closer. That man is still watching, judging, probably cursing too.

Veer looks away, out into the wilderness they were passing - trying not to think of their conversation that he had overheard.

"Mere saath Aaiye Amrit," Randheer had been telling her. "Aap ko yahaan se bohut door le jaaunga. Iss bandan se, iss kaid se, uss aadmi se bohut door. Aap phir se saans le paayengi. Phir se, woh peheli wali Amrit banke -"

Veer shakes his head. He was being a fool. Amrit wasn't going anywhere. He wouldn't allow it. And Randheer wasn't helping his own case by behaving like an overgrown brat. He is making this easier for Veer.

His fist clenches at the thought.
But was he doing the right thing? Was he ruining the essence of Amrit by slowly pulling her closer to him?

She is so unwittingly caught, he thinks warmly, so innocent, so good. He could see her soul in her eyes, and know just how easily she would fall. She would fall and she would stay.

He would make her the happiest woman on earth, if she just stays, he would make her a queen.

It has to be the right thing, he convinces himself - for he needed her so badly. It has to be the right thing.

The car jerks. They are in the outskirts of Shrighar now. Veer has to hold Amrit to stop her from falling. She wakes up with a startled gasp.

"Kuch nahi Hua, raasta karab hai." Veer tells her, watching how her rapid breathing eases out. He pats her on the back gently.

"Do you need water Bahu Rani?" Randheer asks her, offering a bottle.

Oh curse him, Veer could already see there is some message written on the side of that bottle.

Something inside him snaps.

"Ghaadi rok dho Ram Singh."

"Chote hukum?" Ram Singh sounds surprised.

"I need to go and see my horses first. Biwi sahab bhi jaayengi humare saath. You two go ahead, humein yahaan par chhod do."

"Par -" Randheer begins. "Bahu Rani looks rather tired to walk."

"Aap chalengi?" Veer cuts him off with a question to Amrit. "Humare saath chalengi ya inke saath?"

He tries to make it sound casual, but his frustration bleeds into it.

"Chaliyen," Amrit says softly. "Kuwar sahab."

*

"Veer!" She chases after him, once the stable hands leave them alone.

Veer cannot bring himself to meet her eye, instead he focuses on the horses of Shrighar that he hasn't seen in a while. There are three new borns, a beautiful white filly with a brown star on her forehead.

He is thinking of giving her to Amrit, in a few years. It's annoying how much he thought of her, how unconsciously all his plans for future somehow involved her.

Veer shakes his head and moves on, he is angry. He needs to ride out before he goes chasing after Randheer and costs him a teeth or two. He knows just the horse.

"Veer mujhse baat kijiye!" Amrit demands. "Veer!"

"Shaan kahaan hai?" He asks the head groomsmen, in a rather loud voice. Drowning out Amrit's incessant chatter. Amrit falls silent noticing the older man.

"Chote hukum he is rather restless today. You better not -"

Veer dismisses him with a hand.

The horse, glossy brown and huge, neighs warningly when they approach, lifting its front hooves in the air. Amrit gasps when Veer reaches for his reins and pulls him down.

There is a breath stuck in her throat.

The anger in him, sudden, potent and fierce makes him all the more powerful. Muscles of his arms flex as he subdues the animal, the raw intensity of him makes her breath catch.

He saddles the horse in silent, yet deft movements. Amrit is unwittingly reminded of the day he assembled his gun before pointing it at her.

Veer makes a humming sound in the back of his throat, rubbing along Shaan's neck and the horse responds in like - the fight in it leaving.

He looks at her after a moment and catches her staring.

"Main Randheer se milne nahi gayi thi," Amrit tells him. "Aap ne jo dekha- subah woh -" the look he is giving her, that impossible anger in his face makes her eyes tear up.

"Main aisi ladki nahi hoon. Agar mujhe jaana hota toh main -"

Veer takes her hand in his, runs his thumb along her knuckles.

"Bohut achchi ladki ho tum." He says slowly, meaningfully.

"Humein patha hai. Lekin yeh tumhe bhi jaan na honga biwi sahab hum waise nahi hai. Ghussa aatha hai humein. Nahi dekh sakthe usse tumhare aage peeche ghoomthe hue. Jalhan hoti hai humein jab woh tumhe kush karne ki vaade kar tha hai. Humare naak ke neeche, humare patni ke saat flirt karta hai. Jee kartha hai usske jaan lei loon."

He feels the shiver that runs though her at the word. She looks at him with bitter eyes.

"Don't hurt him. Please -"

"How long will you try to protect that idiot?" He growls. "You agreed to live with me to get him released, you begged with me several times now. And that kambakat - all he is doing is trying to provoke me! What does he take me for? A four years old? Does he think I don't see him making cow eyes at you?"

Silent tears trail down her cheeks now. Veer cups her face and wipes them angrily.

"Ghussa aatha hai humein jab tum uss ke liye rothi ho! Itna kyun pyaar karthi ho usse? Kudh par itna haq kyun de rakkhi ho usse? He is trying to ruin your life together with Ma Sahab, and the idiot doesn't even realize that! If you didn't love him so much - I would have, I would -" he swallows. Amrit looks up at him.

"Kabhi kissi se itna mohabbat matt karo ke unnhe kuch hojaaye aur tum barbaad ho jaao." He wipes her tears one last time. "I won't touch him. I know if he gets hurt, you will never recover from that. I know what it feels like Amrit. I've been through that. Many times over."

Amrit reaches for him herself, pressing her forehead against his heart, buried in his embrace. Veer wraps an arm around her, basking in the feeling of her proximity.

"Kissi ko tumhe barbaad karne ka haq Matt do," he says softly. "Certainly not to a reckless fool who himself is unaware of your worth. Stop crying now, stop it, hum naraaz nahi hai. Naraaz nahi hai hum."

He brings her hand to touch the horse instead, still holding her close.

"Isse millo, yeh Shaan hai! I named him. Papa sahab says horses grow up to have temperaments like the people who named them. Yeh bhi humari tarah ziddi hai, ghamandi hai aur - ah," Veer pauses when Shaan starts to nudge Amrit's palm with his nose. He shows her how to pet him on the nose.

"Tumhe pasand kartha hai."

Amrit turns and gives him such a look that Veer feels his heart skip a beat. He doesn't immediately realize what he had said.

"Challo," he says instead.

"Kahaan -?" She starts to ask and screams when he lifts her up. Veer places her on the horse and Amtri shrieks. "Nahi - Veer - Nahi - main ghirjaaungi! Veer!"

He climbs up behind her effortlessly, his deep laugh resonates in her ear and his arm sneaks around her waist.

"Hum ghirne nahi denge," he tells her. "Toh Chaliyen Kuwar Rani Sahiba, aap ko shaahi andaaz mein Shrighar le jaatein hai."

*

Veer takes them on a gallop, wind slapping her face - breath alive in her lungs, riding is similar to flying. At first she screams, clutching his arm holding her, watching how the ground rumbled underneath, disappearing in a rolling, heated brown. Veer bows his head against the side of her face and tells her,

"Neeche nahi aage dekho."

And he is right,  the wind comes alive, the sky adorned in streaks of holi colours seems to curve around them.

The sunset is imminent and Amrit's first sight of Shrighar is washed in gold. Amrit feels her breath catching, the beauty of it all - the timelessness that surrounds them - brings a lump to her throat.

Veer holds her securely against him, the heat of his hand splayed on her stomach is a reassuring anchor to reality.

His other hand holds the reins, maneuvering Shaan and making it look effortless at the same time.

"Where does this road go?" She asks him, watching how it lay before them in all golden glory; a trail of fire etching till forever.

"Jayghar." Veer replies, his breath tickles in her ear. "Humare daadi sahab waha ke rajkumari thi. People of Shrighar still talks of her, says she was the most beautiful woman on earth. Dada sahab unhe uttha kar laye the. Aise hi apne ghode pe bitha kar." He chuckles in her ear.

The valley opens up before them and they slow into a canter. The wind sings here, a strange haunted sound of rise and fall when wind slapped the jutted out rock faces. Veer's arm tightens around her and Amrit is suddenly very aware of how close they are, how small she is compared to him.

"Breathe Amrit," he says. "Humne kabhi tumhe saans lene se nahi rokha."

Oh he is talking about that conversation with Randheer, that offer made to her. Amrit swallows wondering if there was ever a thing in that palace that Veer is unaware of.

"Poori duniya maang lo," he continues in her ear. "Kadmon mein rakh denge. Lekin humse bhaagongi toh iss duniya mein chupne ki koi jaga nahi chodenge. Ek mauka diye the tumhe jaane ki, jaa sakthithi. Nahi gayi. Kuwar Veer Pratap Singh zindagi ko bhi dusra mauka nahi dete."

Amrit closes her eyes with a shuddered exhale.

"You are scaring me Veer," her voice is small, lost in the wind.

Veer looks down at her and notices how she indeed looked intimidated.

"Good." He says mercilessly.

"Because you don't know me yet Amrit. I don't get attached easily. But when I do, when it starts to mean something to me - I could turn very nasty to anything that threatens to take it away. And you biwi sahab, you mean a lot to me."

She says nothing. Amrit clasps her hands together and tries to stop their trembling.

How could she protect Randheer from his own ignorance - how could she protect Veer from his own obsession? Because if the two clashed, the world she built on shifting sands would crumble into nothingness.

Veer takes her hand in his, holds it steady until the trembling stops, her fingers slip through his, and tangle.

"Look down below," he says. "Shrighar."

**