Natasha loved parties. She could deny it all she wanted, but she loved the alcohol and the socializing and also - when she was drunk enough - dancing. In their early Avenger years, after SHIELD fell, she had dragged Katya to a couple clubs in New York City. 

Katya liked parties too. Slow parties, like Tony's later ones. With lots of space to move and the music low enough to actually hear people. Clubs weren't her thing. It made her feel anxious. But for her girlfriend at the time, she made the occasional exception after being promised that she got something in return. 

And now, here in the same room that had been empty an hour prior, Katya suddenly understood why Natasha loved it so much. The music was loud enough, and there was enough alcohol and attractive people to drown out your thoughts. On top of that, the anonymity, if the club was dark enough. Nobody had ever known they were in the company of two Avengers, so nobody saw the group of four mingle with the partygoers now.

She really should have let Natasha drag her to clubs more.

Sam and Bucky walked around, subtly keeping an eye out for any danger. They should really stick to the shadows, since everyone believed they killed Selby. Zemo wandered off pretty quickly, and if Katya didn't know any better, he acted drunk. He wasn't though, just was a complete idiot.

She stuck with the two guys, since Sharon had disappeared to talk to her contacts to find out where this Nagel person lived. For someone who didn't want to help or wanted their help at first, she honored her deal pretty well. 

A group of women was dancing in the middle of the club, and when they walked past, Bucky gave Sam a small push that sent him into one of them. He tried hiding his smug smile, but when Sam scrambled to make an excuse, it only grew. 

''What the hell, man?'' he growled annoyed when they were out of earshot. Katya couldn't help it, she laughed. And automatically, Bucky looked at her again. And stared. And for once, she didn't let it slide and dragged him towards the bar, sitting him down on a stool. Sam watched them go with confusion.

''What?'' he sighed, not in the mood for this right now. He always looked tired of everyone's shit. However, this was a necessary talk.

''We're talking about this weird tension between us, because it is driving me nuts,'' Katya insisted, taking place on the stool next to his, turning her whole body in his direction.

''This is not the time for it.''

She frantically shook her head, waving away the bartender. ''No, this is a perfect time. We can't do anything but wait for Sharon, so you and I are talking. Now.''

Bucky rolled his eyes, looking anywhere but at her face. ''Fine. If it will get you to stop ignoring me.''

''I'm not ignoring you. You are making me uncomfortable with all that staring.'' This wasn't the way to go about it. He shut down right before her eyes. ''All I want to know is why. Why do you look at me that way?''

''What way?'' He played dumb.

''Like I'm miraculously going to solve all your problems. Like I'm a beacon of hope.''

''Because you are. At least to me.'' He quickly threw out, to her surprise and to his own. And when he realized what he said, it was impossible to go back. Giving up on the attempt to act annoyed, he gave in and finally turned his full attention on her. 

''We used to be the same. Working for the same organization, even working together. But then you got out, and you bettered your life. Joined SHIELD, protected the world, married, adopted a daughter. You are an Avenger for god's sake.'' He widely gestured towards her. ''And now I am out, but I can't get there. I can't let it go. I don't understand how you are functioning like nothing ever happened.''

There it was. Finally. Finally she understood why he looked at her like that. And it made a surprising amount of sense. 

It wasn't so much that he was jealous. That wasn't it by far. He was angry at himself for not having it together like Katya. But what he forgot was that she was with HYDRA and the Red Room for only a second compared to the seventy-somewhat years he spent getting mistreated. 

Traumas were and always will be incomparable.

Well, now Katya was mad at herself for finding him annoying.

''Barnes...'' She sighed, quickly touching his arm. ''You were in that so much longer than I. What you, and everyone else but Nat sees of me, are the pretty parts. You don't see the anxiety, or the nightmares, or the PTSD that sometimes plays up again. It may look like I have my shit together, but I promise you, it doesn't feel like that.'' She chuckled, and in a response, his mouth lifted a bit too. It was nice to have a civil conversation and finally getting this weirdness out of the way.

Katya shifted a bit in her seat, crossing her legs. ''I'm just doing things day by day. That proved to be the key for me. Maybe you should try that. Or if that doesn't work; hour by hour, minute by minute. I'm just winging it here. I have no idea what I'm doing.'' She shrugged.

''And as far as us knowing each other from before... How about we act like that never happened? A fresh start, if you will. The first time we met was in Washington, 2014.'' Surprise flickered behind his eyes. ''Or even that warehouse in Berlin in 2016, if you prefer that. I don't care. We only know each other because Steve was a mutual friend. Sound good?''

He was too late to compose himself, a short silence following in which he tried to figure out if she might be lying. But she wasn't, and he saw. So eventually, he nodded, almost an emotional smile on his face. Probably not many people had offered him something like that. ''Thank you. I'd like that.'' Katya nodded, the deal made. ''And for what it's worth; I'm happy for you.''

''Thanks man. I promise you will get there.''

''Minute by minute,'' he repeated. Katya chuckled and went to stand up when she thought the conversation was over. But he had more to say. ''Oh, hey, can you not tell anyone this? It's just that...'' he trailed off, unsure what he wanted to say.

She nodded, smiling knowingly. ''I'm good at keeping secrets. But you don't have to be ashamed. Everyone's struggling with something. And you went through hell and came out the other end, that's not nothing.''

He just sent her a smile, unsure how to answer to that. He struggled so much but refused to let anyone see it. Talking about it wasn't exactly a walk in the park either. This conversation had already pushed him far enough today, so Katya let it go, turning back to the dance floor.

''I am curious about something, though.'' He followed her, away from the bar. A couple people had stared at them a bit too long, so she was quick to get away.

''Hmm?''

''You love drinking, yet you haven't ordered anything and refused Sharon's offer earlier.'' Of course he saw that. Not that it mattered. Katya wasn't ashamed of her struggles anymore.

''I do love alcohol, but I loved it a bit too much during the Blip.''

''Got it.'' It looked like he wanted to say more, but his eyes caught something in the crowd, his face scrunching up in aversion. Curiously, Katya followed his line of sight and almost burst out laughing. Zemo stood on the middle of the dance floor, displaying his awkward dance moves by himself. 

''At least someone's having fun.'' Sam appeared at their side, practically mirroring Bucky's disgust. He had thrown a brown leather jacket over his turtleneck, eyes shooting back and forth. After all, they still had a bounty on their heads.

''Hey, guys.'' Sharon pulled their attention away from the dancefloor and onto her. It took her almost an hour, but she finally had a breakthrough. ''I found him.''

Katya quickly left the dancefloor, stalking after her. ''Finally. Thought I was gonna turn deaf. Nat was right, we are getting old.'' 

What she didn't say was that the loud music had kept her awake. Because the night had made way for the daylight in Madripoor, and she hadn't slept or rested at all. Now she could do without sleep a couple days, but she started to long for a comfy bed or even a chair at this point.

Natasha

Natasha sat down at the edge of Maya's bed, pulling the covers up a bit further, making sure she didn't get cold on this freezing night. The rain had cleared up and the stars shone beautifully, but that also meant temperatures dropped significantly. 

''Alright, sleep well. I will see you tomorrow, bright and early, on your birthday.'' Smiling, she brushed some of Maya's wild hair to the side and pressed a kiss to her forehead, planning on going downstairs and mindlessly stare at the TV. But Maya had other plans.

''Mom?'' She said quickly, stopping her before she could get too far. Natasha turned back to her and hummed softly. ''Can I ask you something?''

''Anything.'' She settled on the bed again, patiently waiting for the rest.

Maya hesitated a bit, like she was scared of asking it, which only heightened Natasha's interest. ''How did you know you liked mom? Like...''

''Romantically?'' she finished. Maya nodded, blushing slightly, which was adorable. ''That's actually a very good question.'' She studied her daughter, planning on brushing it off with some general answer, but she didn't want to have any secrets from Maya. So instead she scooted a bit closer and sighed slightly. 

''Where Kat and I grew up, there wasn't much love. In fact, it was cold. We weren't even allowed to make friends. But we connected anyway.'' She let a soft smile grow on her face, studying Maya's interested green eyes, so much like her own. ''This is going to sound really cheesy, but it's the only way I can describe it. It was kind of like she was my personal sun. She was the only one who made me feel warm. Loved.''

The girl nodded, understanding the metaphor. She listened intently, her smart brain puzzling it all together. 

''As for how that turned into something romantic...'' She trailed off, unsure how to answer that. Simply because she didn't know. ''I don't know how to describe that, or how that happened. We were very young, a bit older than you. She just made my heart go crazy, butterflies, you know the whole ordeal.''

Natasha Romanoff, assassin, talking about how her wife gives her butterflies.

''You never had that with anyone else?'' Maya continued her questioning. Small alarm bells rung in Natasha's head, but nevertheless, she answered honestly.

''No. Even during those years we lost each other, I never felt that with anyone else. I have and always will only love her. And you, of course,'' she added a bit teasingly, loving how Maya chuckled softly. Cocking her head, she continued, ''Why are you asking me this?''

''Tess told me after practice that her dad is leaving her mom,'' Maya admitted softly, knowing Natasha would figure it out now.

And she did, her smile falling quickly. ''Oh honey. Is this because Kat is on the other side of the world?'' Maya shook her head, to her relief. ''Well, even if it was, I promise you; you don't have to worry about us ever splitting up. We have spent our entire lives together, and will continue to do so decades more. And Kat feels the exact same way. Otherwise, why would she have asked me to marry her?''

Maya smiled and nodded, happy and relieved with that answer. That fear of losing a parent or both parents would forever stay in her system, no matter how much they promised they would never leave her. 

''Now go to sleep, okay? You have a long day tomorrow.'' Maya nodded again and settled into her bed. Natasha pressed a kiss to her forehead and flicked on the nightlight before turning off the bulb at the ceiling. After one last glance at the girl in the bed, she closed the door softly. 

Stopping right outside, she looked down at her wedding ring and twisted it around. The memories of that day jumped into her head and she couldn't fight the stupid smile and those cheesy butterflies.

Like an idiot, she stood in that hallway, smiling at a piece of silver. That's how happy Katya made her. No, they would never split up.

Katya

Sharon ended up driving them to the harbor of Madripoor. And while walking between the stacked, bright-colored shipping containers, Katya couldn't help but wonder in how many drugs were stored. Or how many held weapons and other illegal contraband. All the stuff she tried to stay far away from.

This maze of containers made her feel trapped, and she couldn't shake the feeling that around every corner, someone would be waiting. Didn't help that the pathways between the things were so small. They barely fit two people sometimes.

It had rained while they partied, so her boots occasionally stepped into a small puddle on the grey asphalt while she fiddled with a small knife in her jacket pocket. Well, Sharon's jacket, but it was hers now. 

Sharon marched in front, the others dutifully following because she knew the terrain and knew where she was going. ''With that bounty on your head, the longer you're in Madripoor, the less likely you're ever leaving,'' she said at one point, as if they needed the whole situation to be even more anxiety-triggering. 

''All right. He's in there.'' The container she pointed at, didn't look any different from the other ones, but Katya suspected the outside wasn't what it looked like. ''Container four-two-six-one. I'll watch while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We're on borrowed time.'' In her opened hand lay four in-ear pieces so they could stay in contact.

The men were about to walk off, expecting Katya to follow, but she quickly spoke up. ''I'll stay here. Be her backup.''

Zemo eyed her, fascinated by her hesitation of stepping into unknown danger. It wasn't so much that she was afraid of going in there, not at all. She was scared of not getting out again. Katya would never get out of the way of a fight, but she was more careful in looking for them. If she could avoid them, she would. 

Bucky was the one who eventually nodded, and for the first time, made normal eye contact with her. Understanding shone behind his blue eyes and he nudged the others to follow when he walked off. He didn't see it anymore, but Katya sent him a thankful smile.

''Not going in?'' Sharon asked, taking off in opposite direction. She pocketed her phone and went to look for some cover.

Katya shook her head, wrapping her fingers around her gifted gun and catching up with her quick stride. ''I would like to come back out.''

Sharon eyed her shortly. And like Bucky, she understood what her actions meant. Anyone who placed themselves in Katya's shoes would understand. ''Well, let's see how good you still are with that gun then,'' she smiled, getting her own weapon out.

''You expecting company?''

''Here in Madripoor? Always.''

''Hey, Sharon. You sure this is the right one? It's completely empty.''

Sharon frowned a bit, rounding another corner and pressing herself against the metal wall. ''Positive. It has to be.'' Sam went radio silent after, so she suspected they found something.

Katya turned in her spot, still uncomfortable with the maze she found herself in. She had no overview, just one dead angle after another. ''Hey, do you mind if I-?'' She gestured up, and Sharon seemed to get the hint, nodding and gesturing to go ahead.

Rule number... 57? Always make sure you have a good vantage point. Doesn't matter where or how, and walking on top of the containers gave her a good advantage. Besides, they stood so close together that she was easily able to jump from one to another if needed.

That slight weight lifted off her chest when Katya stood atop the container, finding it a bit easier to breathe. With her gun in both hands, she crouched to stay low and out of sight. So far, she didn't see or hear anything. Sam and the others were silent, too. 

At least... 

Something silently came through the comms. At first she thought the music from the party might have indeed caused her to go deaf, but then the sound got louder. And to her surprise, it was more music. Slower, but clearly music.

It was hard to listen and stay aware of her own surroundings at the same time, especially when the conversation started. Apparently, this was indeed Doctor Nagel's lair.

''Dr. Nagel?''  And he was home.

''Who are you? What do you want?''  His soft voice barely reached her ears, but he didn't sound scared at all. More annoyed at the sudden company.

This was always the boring stuff. Getting the target to talk. Getting to the acceptance and past those boring and standard questions. Once upon a time, it was fun to play with targets. Natasha loved  the game. But that was then, and now those things suddenly seemed excessive.

''We know you created the super-soldier serum.'' Sam again. It was clear who ran this interrogation.

''Get out of my lab.'' Great, a brave one.

''Hey! You know who he is, right? This is Baron Zemo. I know you've heard of him, too, right? You seem like a pretty smart guy. So you better become conversational real quick.''

''How about a counter proposal? Make me a better offer and I'll talk.'' Ugh, and a smart one, thinking he still had the upper hand with one assassin, one soldier and a killer in his lab. 

Katya scanned the area, cursing the stacked containers for making it hard to spot any people on the ground. She was about to change locations - move away from the water and closer to the entrance of the harbor - when something moved in the corner of her eye. 

Swiftly, she tapped her earpiece to alert the others. ''Guys, we have company.'' Nobody answered, but they heard her. 

The smartest thing was to stick with Sharon, cover her from up here while she fought the people on the ground. Luckily, they both seemed to understand that idea, because Sharon didn't run off without warning and glanced up to where Katya's blue eyes were just visible. 

The familiar click of the safety switching off, sounded in her ears. It had been a while since she shot at humans. Her last two big enemies were aliens. Oh and there were also robots, but that was a while back. 

Sharon's plan was probably to kill them, or at least not care if that accidentally happened, but how could Katya come home with all that blood on her hands now? 

No, she'd aim for legs, arms and shoulders. Not anything immediately lethal like heads and chests. 

The last seconds of silence ticked away, until Sharon finally snuck out from her hiding spot and ran at three serious looking men, with serious looking guns in their hands. They were no match for her though, not with her quick movements and the way she swung her metal baton around. 

''Every bounty hunter in the city is here. We gotta go!''

While she did her thing, Katya calmly and precisely picked off the hunters trying to sneak up on her, creating a bit of room for Sharon to breathe. It didn't matter that she hadn't fired a gun in months. Every single bullet went exactly where she wanted to, settling into unsuspecting men and women who were after the bounty on her head. 

They never once thought to look up.

The gunshots rung in her ears, making it impossible to hear what happened on the other side of the comms. Occasionally, a word or two would come through, enough to fill in the rest of the story.

''HYDRA's Winter Soldier program''

''Recruited by the CIA''

''American test subject''

''I turned to dust''

''The Power Broker''

''Twenty''

''Donya Madani''

Katya stayed as still as possible on top of that container, trying to use her left hand as much as possible because the wound on her right arm still burned. And when she ran out of bullets, she switched to her knives. 

Quite quickly, she and Sharon had taken out a lot of them. At least enough for Sharon to leave Katya to deal with the rest and get the guys out of Nagel's lab. Because apparently, they didn't understand that they needed to get out, so she had to go get them.

Sharon's voice followed quickly after she disappeared in the container, Katya keeping the hunters away from her friends' only exit. ''Guys, we're seriously outta time here.''

A loud gunshot followed her words and rung in Katya's ear. It was so sudden and unexpected that she jumped a bit and completely missed someone climbing on top of a container not far from hers. Someone with a very, very big gun. A rocket launcher, or at least something very close to that. 

''No!'' ''What did you do?''  Two voices yelled, but Katya couldn't be bothered by whatever had happened inside. Because she finally saw the shooter and aimed. 

But she was too late.

Her finger pulled the trigger the same time he did, which meant one thing: both their weapons fired where only one should have. Because only hers was to protect her friends and his was to burn them alive.

The rocket hit the lab at the same time the gunman fell down into a heap, his arm dangling off the side of the container and the weapon clattering on the ground. 

Katya didn't remember where she had aimed. If it had been a killer shot or not. She didn't even look at him, only saw him go down from the corner of her eye as she herself stumbled back from the blast.

Her whole being yelled at her to go check on her friends, to get them out. But it was too dangerous to go in there, and in her ear, she could hear their voices. Well, mostly groans of pain, but there was sign of life. All she could do is hope they'd make it out alive while she kept away the hunters.

For that, she would need a new gun. So while she intently listened and scanned the area, she jumped down the container and stole two from some dead people, hastily checking the magazines to make sure they were full.

''Anybody see Zemo?'' That was Sam. And although it sucked that they apparently lost Zemo, he was the least of her worries. 

Katya let out a small breath of relief. She couldn't care less about Zemo. Only the other three people on this mission with her were important.

''Let's go.'' That was Bucky's urgent voice. And in the background of it, loud alarms while the fire burned away at the dangerous materials stored inside. 

Time was ticking, and it ran out just as Katya pulled herself on top of a shipping container again. In an automatic reflex, she turned her head away from the blast. It swept her hair into her face and pushed her body sidewards a couple steps, causing her to almost stumble and fall on the uneven roof.

''You okay?'' she breathed into her comms to not reveal herself, trying to shake the slight ringing in her ears. 

''We're fine!'' Sam yelled back. ''Can you cover us?''

Her eyes wanted to roll on their own, but instead she focused them on where she believed they would come out. She could just see the three of them carefully peeking out the container. ''What do you think I've been doing the whole time?''

~~~~~~~~

A/N: little note: next chapter will be up on Saturday instead of Friday, because school and work are killing me and I have zero time this week :) Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one! Trying to slowly work on Katya and Bucky's relationship because I think they should be friends :)